Chapter Text
Nico was already getting sick of the smell of disinfectant, and he had been there for all of twenty seconds. The room was lined with beds, mostly already filled with wounded demigods and the quiet sounds of pain echoed though air like the steady ticking of a clock.
He was already regretting his decision. Sure, he had promised Solace to stay for three days – to keep him happy. Hospitals made him on edge, as a rule. With the constant supervision, lousy meals and the promise of continous probing and prodding, what was there to like?
Solace led the way down the centre aisle toward the other side of the building where three doors lined the walls, broken up by shelves of medical equipment. Nico tried to keep his eyes on the floor, ignoring the fact that he would have to spend the next three days, with no escape other than sleep, with all these people.
Solace held the door open and beckoned Nico inside. He hesitated.
“What’s in there?”
“Just a check-up room, don’t panic,” Solace consoled, waving his hand impatiently. Nico stared at him for a moment before walking inside.
He took in the room quickly; it was mainly bare, with a single raised bed to the side and medical cabinets to the wall. Solace walked in after him and pulled a stethoscope from a hook to let it hang around his neck, along with a white coat that was just a little too big for him.
Nico raised an eyebrow.
“What?” Solace said.
“Nothing,” Nico mumbled, trying to keep down a smile. He sometimes thought it strange how Camp Half-Blood would use children for adult jobs. Looking at him with his bright hair, lithe athletic frame and Doctor’s clothes, he was the spitting image of Apollo.
“Alright,” Solace said, taking a clipboard from the wall and starting to write. “We’re just going to start with a basic physical, and determine if anything needs to be done there. Sit on the table and take off your shirt.”
Nico blinked. “What?”
“We’re performing a physical-”
“Yes, I heard. Why do I have to take my clothes off?”
“Because,” Solace said, “We’ve got to take measurements and stuff.”
“Is it absolutely necessary?”
“Yes. We’ve got to see if your size is a problem. We keep records of all the demigods at Camp, and we need to be able to monitor if something goes wrong after a fight.”
Nico avoided Solace’s gaze as he went over and sat on the bed. His gaze flickered to Solace, who quickly looked back to his clipboard, writing something down. Nico kept in a sigh; he was really going to have to do this. Solace was a doctor… Sort of. There was nothing to worry about. At least that was what he told himself.
Nico pulled his shirt off and dropped it on the bed with his jacket. Instinctively, he hunched over, his arms pinned to his sides. Solace was probably painstakingly aware of how uncomfortable he was.
He cast a glance down at his pale body. True, after coming back from Tartarus and his ordeal in the giant jar, he had been drastically underweight. He thought he had at least filled out a little, considering he had been eating more as of late, but he wasn’t sure how much. He could still see his ribs poking through his sallow skin and blue veins snaking around like rivers.
Nico dared to look up at Solace. The blonde-haired boy was unashamedly staring at him. He coughed, then looked down at his clipboard.
“So,” Solace said, “Just a couple of questions before we get the actual physical started. When was the last time you ate?”
Nico looked at the ground, trying his best to remember. His appetite had been better as of late, but it was often that the details of his eating habits were forgotten.
“I think it was the night of the bonfire. So…”
“A day and a half ago,” Solace said, writing down the numbers. He looked like he was doing his best to keep a grimace down. He succeeds about just as well as the time Percy said he was going to quit watching Finding Nemo on repeat.
“Any noticeable changes in your diet or appetite recently?”
“I have been eating more I guess.”
“You’ve been eating more but the last time you ate was a day and a half ago?” Solace raised his eyebrows.
“It’s not exactly the most important thing on my mind, Solace,” Nico snapped, giving him a thick glare.
“Alright, alright,” Solace said, holding his hands up, “Calm down Death Boy.”
“I told you not to call me that,” Nico mumbled to the ground.
Solace ignored him and moved on. Nico didn’t know how long Solace had been a doctor for. He knew that Solace was only a little older than him, but he was already a councillor with a cabin of at least fifteen. At the age of fifteen, taking on so much responsibility, it must have been a lot of pressure, especially when your father wasn’t exactly known to be the epitome of mature. Solace reminded him a lot of Piper – both embraced their parents’ gifts and tried to show the world how much better they could make them; tried to outdo the Gods.
“Have you engaged in any unprotected sexual activity in the past month?”
Nico almost started choking. “What?” he said. It hadn’t even occurred to him that Solace would ask this. Sex was something that didn’t even cross onto Nico’s radar. For one, it wasn’t exactly legal for him to participate in it and for another he’d been too busy on the field trip from hell for the past few months.
“Have you had sex without protection?” Solace repeated.
“I’m not even fifteen.”
“Hey, it’s just routine,” Solace said. They fell silent for a moment. “Well?”
“No,” Nico conceded, “I haven’t.”
He hated himself for the blush rising to his cheeks. Just because Solace was asking about it didn’t mean he had to get embarrassed about it. He wasn’t embarrassed about it. There was nothing to be embarrassed about.
“Do you drink?”
“Do the waters of the Phlegethon count?” Nico said dryly.
Solace blinked, silence hanging between them.
“Very funny,” Solace said, moving back into action, “But no.” Nico looked at the ground.
“Smoke?”
“No.”
“Last time you exercised?”
“I couldn’t tell you unless you count the death-defying missions I take part in on a regular basis.”
“Of course,” Solace said, “Last question, when was the last time you engaged in any of the shadowy death stuff?”
“Is that the technical term?”
“I’m a doctor; technical terms are all I use.”
“The day of the battle. Wouldn’t want to risk you getting mad.”
Solace shot him a gleaming smile before setting down his clipboard. It reminded Nico of an imp. Not the same kind of imp as Bryce Lawrence. No, this imp was the kind from fairy-tales that led the princess to safety and her true love with the promise of terrible jokes along the way. Nico hated imps.
“Right,” said Solace, “We’ll do a quick check of your vitals and then we’ll get started.”
Nico couldn’t believe it was taking them this long too even get into the actual physical. He was painfully aware of the way Solace’s gaze lingered over him as he gathered his stethoscope, the blood pressure machine and a thermometer. He felt as exposed as an ant under a magnifying glass, Solace’s thick gaze like the sun.
His temperature was too low along with his blood pressure. His heart rate was strangely erratic – Nico guessed that was probably because of his anxiety. He almost considered telling Solace that but he didn’t want any more reasons for his doctor to keep him in the infirmary for three days, if not longer.
“Alright,” Solace said, “Physical evaluation. I need you take your jeans off as well please.”
Nico would have had some sort of snappy come back but yet another sliver of fear pierced his heart. It was bad enough that Solace could already see how small and scrawny he was from his chest, but he didn’t want Solace seeing his legs.
“I-”
“It’s so we can accurately check your weight. Nico, we need the records. Now that we know that you’re staying, records of your health are vital to make sure you’re safe.”
Nico breathed in deeply. He stood and lowered his jeans, kicking them away from him. He looked down, avoiding Solace’s gaze as it raked over his body, searching for any abnormality. To say he was uncomfortable was an understatement.
“Nico?”
“Hm?”
“You probably saw this coming and I hate to ask it, but where did the scars come from?”
Nico glanced down at his left thigh where numerous white scars littered his skin. The oldest – probably two years old. The freshest was three weeks with a tinge of pink.
“I-” Nico took a breath. “I did them. To myself.”
Solace nodded and wrote something on his clipboard. “When was the last time you self-harmed?”
“Sometime during the voyage,” Nico said.
“Why?”
Nico shrugged. He hated this. He hated the way Solace looked at him now – like something to be pitied, something to examine and fix. Every inch of him was being recorded on that damn clipboard like he was some kind of science experiment gone wrong.
There was silence as Solace continued to write. “Moving on,” he said, tossing a smile Nico’s way. He was trying to make things more comfortable, Nico knew, but he still flinched when Solace’s hand landed on his back to guide him to the wall, where a scale sat.
“S-sorry,” Nico said instinctively. It wasn’t Solace’s fault that he hated being touched.
“It’s no problem,” Solace said, releasing his hand, “We’re just going to weigh you is all.”
Nico had to stop himself from bolting. He knew it wouldn’t be good.
“Eighty-eight pounds (39kg),” Solace announced, reading from the scale and yet again scribbling on his clipboard.
Nico could feel Solace’s displeasure growing by the second. Not that Nico cared.
“Alright,” Solace said, “You can put your jeans back on.”
Nico was all too eager to do that.
Solace pulled out a measuring tape from his coat pocket.
Nico already knew his height – he barely reached five foot two(158cm). He didn’t really think that was a problem. Solace measured around his chest, the length of his arms, his waist – the list went on. Camp Half-Blood would know every little detail about Nico’s body.
They continued with an eye test, co-ordination and a collection of Nico’s blood. Solace let Nico get dressed in some hospital clothes – thank god it wasn’t a hospital gown but rather what looked like an all-grey loose surgeon’s outfit. It felt like an age until Solace put his fucking clipboard down on the desk.
“Well,” said Solace, “I think we need to have a talk.” He leant against the cupboard to the side, his shoulders hunched.
Nico was sitting back on the bed, glaring at the floor. How dare Solace take this high and mighty position and decide to lecture him. Solace had no right to decide he was responsible for him.
“Nico,” Solace said, “Look at me.”
When Nico refused Solace continued with a sigh. “I’m not going to sugar coat this. You know you haven’t been taking care of your body. You obviously have some issues you need to work through-”
“It’s called depression, Solace.”
Nico had never said it out loud before. True, he hadn’t been to enough doctors to get any sort of ‘official’ diagnosis. But it wasn’t like he needed a doctor to tell him anyway - what else could it be? With all the god damned problems he’d faced in his life, there was bound to be repercussions. However, he didn’t feel like the death and despair in his life could get all the credit – at least some of it just had to be him.
He could wake up some mornings and just the thought of Bianca was a weight heavy enough to send him back to bed. Other mornings he wouldn’t wake up because he hadn’t even gone to sleep for fear of the monsters lurking in his dreams. Every night, the voices of Tartarus would whisper in his ear, telling him of all his downfalls like they were his own personal burn book.
He hated when people compared it to a ‘raincloud over your head’. It wasn’t that simple. Calling it a raincloud made it sound like it was just the occasional pitter-patter of worries and sadness that could be dealt with if he just put up an umbrella. In reality, it was as complex as a hurricane, ripping the umbrella from his hands and taking him with it, away into a maelstrom of painful memories and regrets. Sometimes, he got to see the eye of the storm and everything would be lifted for a moment of calm, but it was never for long.
“…Yes. I guess,” said Solace, “It makes sense considering all you’ve been through.”
I’ve been through literal hell, Nico thought. He didn’t tell Will that.
“I’m going to have to tell Chiron. It’s not going to change anything drastically – we’re just going to keep checking up on you, okay?”
Nico didn’t bother responding. Solace sighed. “Well that’s the examination done. I’ll get Kayla to show you where you’ll be staying.”
~