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Tweek had a crush on Craig since they fought as children. He loved how different Craig was from his father. Craig was able to get his point across in less words. He loved how Craig never tried to be dramatic in the way that Cartman did. Craig also didn’t sing random songs like Butters. Tweek had been stalking Craig’s fan accounts for Red Racer for years. He loved reading about Craig’s opinions on the show. He loved everything about Craig from his personality to his voice and his hands. Tweek wished he could collect Craig and keep him forever.
In middle school, Tweek started having bad luck with friends. He had a couple close friends that died in unfortunate accidents. One friend fell down some stairs and broke his neck. Another friend got in a car accident. Then other friends would get injured in mysterious ways. A rumor spread that Tweek was bad luck and people avoided him. Everybody except Craig. Craig was too good for this world.
“You’re not afraid that I’m bad luck?” Tweek asked Craig.
“I don’t care about rumors and gossip.” Craig told Tweek.
Craig would still smile at Tweek and tell him hello. Tweek wanted to spend even more time with Craig, but he felt shy. He worried that Craig’s friends wouldn’t like him.
In high school, his desire to be with Craig grew even more. He sometimes followed Craig around after school and watched Craig sleep from his window. He’d save Craig’s selfies from social media. He would read the same books and listen to the same music as Craig.
He knew he had a little bit of an obsession with Craig. Tweek purposely chose the same classes as Craig so that he could be with him throughout high school. He’d sit in the back row just so he could be in the same row as Craig. He got so excited whenever he got to hear Craig speak. He especially loved when he could learn new facts about Craig.
Sometimes, he’d get jealous of the other people around Craig. He wished it was just the two of them together. It pissed him off how much time Craig spent with Clyde. The two sat by each other in some classes and always ate lunch together. It made his blood boil.
Today, he is pissed off at Cartman though. Cartman keeps telling Craig that he’s adopted and that his parents don’t love him as much as his sister. Then Cartman begs Craig for money. Tweek was sick of it. That bastard wouldn’t stop asking Craig for money. Cartman is the most obnoxious boy at their school. Nobody would miss him if he disappeared.
So, Tweek waits until lunch and brings some cupcakes to give away.
“I brought cupcakes.” Tweek tells his classmates.
“Thanks, dude,” Stan takes a cupcake. Kenny says thanks, but his voice is muffled by a mask.
“Are these from the coffee shop?” Wendy asks.
“No. I made them at home.” Tweek hands Wendy a purple cupcake.
“You should bring treats more often,” Cartman says.
He makes sure that Cartman gets the poisoned one. It is a slow poison that would take around 36 to 72 hours to kill him. Cartman wouldn’t be thinking about the cupcake by then. Tweek wonders where Cartman will be when the poison finally kills him. Tweek is so excited that he can help relieve Craig of such an annoying pest.
A few days pass and Cartman is in an argument with Kyle.
“You replaced the toilet paper wrong, fat ass! It goes over, not under!” Kyle complains.
“You reach under the toilet paper. Any other way is stupid!” Cartman suddenly quits breathing and dies in front of Kyle.
Kyle reaches for Cartman and shakes him. He hopes that maybe this is some bizarre prank, but Cartman really suddenly died in front of him. Cartman thought he was having a bad case of food poisoning before he died, but it was worse than that. The news of Cartman’s death travels through the school.
Craig doesn’t have a reaction to Cartman’s death. He doesn’t comment on it at all.
“Did you hear about Cartman?” Clyde asks Craig.
He changes the subject with Clyde, “We should hang out after school today.”
“Yeah. We could go to the park,” Clyde says.
Clyde normally had football practice, but with Cartman’s death, they got a day off. Tweek grinds his teeth in jealousy. Why did Clyde get to spend so much time with Craig? Tweek can’t help snapping a pencil in his hand. Craig hears the pencil snap and turns to look at Tweek for a moment. Tweek’s eyes get wide. Then Craig smiles at Tweek. The moment passes and class ends. Craig leaves class with Clyde.
Tweek waits for a weekend party before he enacts another plan. This time, Tweek hangs out with Bebe for a bit before he goes to the kitchen and poisons a drink. He gives the drink to Clyde. Clyde is a trusting guy and doesn’t suspect a thing. Tweek sneaks off before Clyde dies at the party.
Craig mourns the loss of Clyde and it almost hurts Tweek to see Craig so down, but then he sees Craig start to hang out with Butters more often. The two talk about their favorite nerdy shows and Tweek is so jealous. What does he have to do to be alone with Craig? Does he have to kill off the rest of the school?
Tweek cyberstalks Craig and finds out that Craig and Butters are buddies on social media! This pisses him off. He hates seeing them share memes and support each other’s ideas. He has to kill Butters now or else he’ll never know peace.
Tweek goes to work and is annoyed to see Butters order an ultra sweet Frappuccino. Butters is the bane of his existence until he hears Annie gossiping with another about Craig.
“I heard Craig’s type is blondes. I really have a chance!” Annie squeals and orders a pumpkin spice latte. Tweek has mixed feelings about this. If Craig likes blondes, then Tweek has a chance with him, but that means Butters does too. He wonders what he should do. Too many people are after his Craig!
So, Tweek goes to school and is watching Craig’s locker from the hall when he sees Annie leave a letter in Craig’s locker. That bitch! He already knew Craig’s code to his locker, so he easily unlocks it and opens the letter. It was a handwritten confession for his Craig! It made him sick. He tore the confession into itty bitty pieces. He wishes he could rip Annie to pieces.
Then he watches Craig chat with Butters in class. It pisses him off even more when he follows Craig and finds out he’s hanging out with Butters in a collector’s shop looking at expensive figurines. Eventually, Craig and Butters separate to go home.
Tweek starts following Annie around. He’s still mad that she dared to confess feelings to Craig. So he strangles her when she’s out walking on her own. He is so full of rage that it’s easy. He takes her body to the woods and buries it there.
Tweek messages Butters on his fan account and asks him to meet him at the pond.
It was a cloudy day and nobody else was out and about when Butters met up with Tweek at the pond. They looked at each other for a moment in silence before either started talking.
“Hi, fella. I didn’t expect you to message me. How are you?” Butters smiles at Tweek sweetly.
“I noticed you’ve been hanging around Craig more often.” Tweek steps closer to Butters.
“Yeah. We’re pals. That seems to bug you.” Butters chuckles.
“I love Craig and I won’t let anybody else have him.” Tweek angrily explains.
“It’s too bad that I love Craig and have been following him for months, so I can’t let you win.” Butters pulls a hunter’s knife out of his pocket and swings it at Tweek’s face. Tweek backs away, but has a small cut on his cheek.
“Just die already!” Tweek unfolds a smaller knife that was in his pocket and swings it at Butters, but he misses and cuts open the front of Butters’ shirt. Then it starts to rain.
“You’re just jealous that Craig likes to hang out with me!” Butters laughs and swings at Tweek again, but Tweek moves to the side so that only his sleeve is cut open.
“I would never let you have him!” Tweek aims for Butters’ neck, but then Butters back away and they move closer to the woods. The rain is pouring heavily and their wet clothes are clinging to their bodies.
They manage to cut each other up, but neither has made a fatal blow. Then Tweek slips in the mud and falls on his ass. He’s still holding the knife as Butters dives down with his blade to kill him, but Tweek grabs Butters’ wrist with his other hand. They struggle in the mud for a while before Butters brings the blade closer and closer to Tweek’s throat until he’s suddenly hit in the head with a rock and falls over into the mud.
Tweek looks up to see that Craig saved him by hitting Butters’ head with a rock.
“Craig?” Tweek is in shock to see him here. He never thought Craig of all people would catch him like this. Tweek starts to shake and forgets to breathe.
"It's okay honey, deep breaths. No one is going to take me away from you. Just breathe, you don't have to fight anymore." Craig smiles at Tweek.
“Does this mean you like me back?” Tweek feels hopeful.
“I’ve liked you for years. I didn’t know you liked me until I saw that knife fight just now. That was so hot.” Craig explains.
“You like me even after finding out I’m crazy about you?” Tweek still couldn’t believe that this was really happening.
“I’m crazy about you too. I love you.” Craig has all his attention on Tweek as he gets closer to him, so he doesn’t notice right away when Butters suddenly gets back up with the knife aimed at Craig.
“If I can’t have you, no one can!” Butters yells, but before he can kill Craig, Tweek swiftly knocks the knife out of Butters’ hand and stabs Butters repeatedly everywhere from his face to his neck to his body.
“Wow. You saved me from Butters. You’re amazing, honey.” Craig kisses Tweek softly.
Tweek didn’t expect his first kiss to be today. He feels ecstatic. Everything is finally falling into place.
Craig breaks the kiss and says to Tweek, “We should hide this body in the woods.”
“Won’t somebody find it when they go playing in the woods?” Tweek is worried.
“We’ll go deep into the woods. Maybe we can dig a little bit of a hole.” Craig doesn’t care. Nothing exciting happens in South Park until Tweek came along. They go deep into the woods and dig a hole with their hands. It was hard work, but bringing a shovel would be too suspicious. They bury the body and leave.
Then they go to Craig’s house and get into dry clothes.
“You look so cute in my borrowed clothes, honey. I hope your scent stays in. I’ve always loved the way you smell.” Craig tells Tweek. Tweek blushes at the words.
“I love you so much, man.” Tweek confesses.
“I love you too.” Craig leans down and kisses Tweek. They spend the evening at Craig’s watching tv together and cuddling. Tweek drifts off, but hears Craig continue to talk. “Starting that rumor about you was my greatest achievement because it brought you into my hands.”
Tweek wakes up and looks at Craig. “You’re the reason I don’t have any friends?”
“If a simple rumor was all it took for them to run away, then they don’t deserve to be your friend.” Craig explains to Tweek.
“I felt lonely for years,” Tweek says. Craig leans down to kiss Tweek’s cheeks.
“I got so jealous. I couldn’t stand those jerks being close to you. Can you ever forgive me?” Craig hopes that this wouldn’t destroy what they finally had.
“I got jealous too. I understand. It’s ok.” Tweek kisses Craig on the mouth and Craig deepens the kiss. They get lost in each other. Tweek feels like he found somebody that truly understands him.