Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Stelle has made a new group chat.

Stelle has added 19 participants.

6 participants online.

Caelus: stelle why did you make this gc

and why did you add most of our history class?

Stelle: i thought it would be funny

and also perfect for chaos 

so here we are

Caelus: sigh

you hang out with sparkle way too much

Stelle: you are sighing over text

also its not my fault your just lonely and hang out 

exclusively with danny boy 

cant believe my brother is gay lol

Caelus: you literally kissed sparkle??

and firefly too but thats for another time

also i am extremely straight for that matter 

Stelle has gone offline.

Caelus: lmfao

Dan Heng: Caelus, what is this?

March: yeah cae! what is this?

Caelus: a gc

except nearly everyone from our history class is here

i would say go ask stelle except shes probably cuddled up with firefly and sparkle rn

Stelle has come online.

Stelle: fuck you caelus 

no im not

Stelle has gone offline.

Caelus: that means she is definitely cuddled up to them 

Dan Heng: Caelus. Why is your sister dating a known campus maniac?

You do realize Sparkle is responsible for most, if not all, garbage can fires around the university right? 

Also all of the morally dubious “pranks”?

Caelus: yeah i know that

however no matter how much sparkle is practically chaos incarnate 

it is somehow a healthy relationship 

at least as healthy as a relationship can be when the person your dating is chaos incarnate and your a stray raccoon

March: lmfao 

does that mean you're also a raccoon since stelle is your twin?

Caelus: …

shut up march

March: ooh!!! i have an idea!!

Dan Heng: Oh Aeons, this is not going to end well. 

March: @Stelle

wake up!! i have an amazing idea!!

Stelle has come online

Stelle: what is it now

i am making a attempt to finally sleep since its nearly midnight 

March: stelle!!! :D 

change caelus username for me right now

also mine pleaseee?

Stelle: bet

Stelle has changed 2 usernames.

Stelle has locked nicknames.

LocalRacoon: HEY 

why did you change only my username and no one elses? 

ExtrovertedIceCube: lmao thanks stelle

Stelle: hmmmm good point cae

Stelle has changed 17 other usernames

Thebestbaseballer: let the chaos begin >:) 

Chapter Text

Hell on earth.

4 participants online.

11:37 AM

LocalRacoon: Alright, someone tell me where Sampo Koski is.

ExtrovertedIceCube: uh oh cae is using correct grammar

what did sampo do this time?

ChaosIncarnate (affectionate): he put a firecracker in stelle's lunch.

he is also in the cafeteria caelus

ExtrovertedIceCube: oh. oh no.

LocalRacoon: Thank you Sparkle, im grabbing my bat and ill be right over. 

LocalRacoon has gone offline.

ChaosIncarnate (affectionate) has gone offline.

ExtrovertedIceCube: so… are we just gonna ignore the fact that caelus and sparkle had a conversation without a single insult between them?

DannyHengy: Yes, yes we are.

And also why is this my name now?

ExtrovertedIceCube: we should probably stop them right? 

lemme just..

ExtrovertedIceCube has added Feixiao to the chat.

ExtrovertedIceCube: @Feixiao go get your boyfriend

Feixiao: ok so 1 what is this 

and 2 what did caelus do this time?

ExtroveredIceCube: ok so you didnt even deny that but we will bring that up later

anyways sampo put a firecracker in stelle’s lunch and now sparkle and caelus are probably going to bash his knees in

go get him pls?

Feixiao: first of all shush

and yes ill be going to get him before he possibly kills sampo

Feixiao has gone offline.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Caelus  —>  Stelle

12:05 PM

Caelus: stelle are you alive?

feixiao had to stop me from breaking in sampo’s knees

didnt stop sparkle from forcing him to huff that stinkbomb mixture she dumped in the gym last month though 

Stelle: yeah im alive

At least sparkle got revenge

This is why i love her

Caelus: dont be gay in front of me 

i still dont know how you managed to tame that incarnation of chaos.

Stelle: shut up cae 

Your ambiguously gay

Caelus: ambiguously?? 

What the fuck does that even mean?

Stelle: dont act like ive literally never seen you without danny boy trailing behind you

You do not talk to women 

Aside from like

feixiao or huohou

Caelus: …

fuck you stelle

Stelle:lmfao gay

Caelus: anywaysssss 

topic change

why is feixiaos hand so warm 

I dont think ive ever realized how hot she runs

Stelle: oh my aeons..

CAELUS

why are you holding feixiaos hand??

Caelus: oh she grabbed it before i could break sampo’s knees

and she just kinda didnt let go? 

so shes been holding it since we got out of the cafeteria

Stelle: …

just no 

im going offline 

i have to make sure firefly isnt also plotting sampo’s murder anyways

you know how scary she is when someone she loves gets almost hurt

Caelus: ok bye ig?

Stelle has gone offline.

Caelus has gone offline.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hell on earth.

4 people online.

1:34 PM

ExtrovertedIceCube: so i managed to snag a picture of caelus and feixiao

they were holding hands

before marriage

how scandalous

TrustFundBaby has come online.

TrustFundBaby: hi guys!!!

wait why is that my name??

…

oh right

ExtrovertedIceCube: hi asta!!!! 

do you want some blackmail?

TrustFundBaby: marchie why is that the first thing you say to me when i come online?

Im too tired to deal with blackmail rn 

So uh bye bye marchie!!

TrustFundBaby has gone offline.

Chapter Text

Feixiao —>  Stelle

4:54 AM

Feixiao: stelle oh my aeons

why is your brother so oblivious??

i was holding his hand for 10 whole minutes after the cafeteria incident

and the only comment he made was the fact that im basically a space heater??

Stelle: yeah 

now do you see what i have to deal with on a daily basis?

cae couldnt recognize love even if someone kissed him

Feixiao: are we sure your brother isnt like asexual

like there is no way he is this oblivious and not be asexual

Stelle: ive asked him several times 

hes adamant hes not asexual 

‘

somehow

Feixiao: im not even going to ask any more

thank u i guess?

Stelle: no problem 

though if i dont see you and my brother together i swear to the aeons

i dont know how he hasnt noticed your advances yet

Feixiao: i should be going

ive got track in the morning

Feixiao has gone offline.

Stelle: i forgot your built like a brickwall

but yeah bye feixiao

Stelle has gone offline.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hell on earth.

6 participants online.

12.24 PM

ExtrovertedIceCube: so i just had a thought 

LocalRacoon: wow 

thats a first for you march

ExtrovertedIceCube: fuck you cae

but anyways 

we need more people in here

people that arent lurkers

wink wink nudge nudge himeko dan heng and welt

and everyone else that i know is online but just lurk

DannyHeng: I'm not a lurker, merely choice with my words.

ExtrovertedIceCube: lurker

LocalRacoon: lurker

TrustFundBaby: lurker

DannyHeng: Sigh, this is why i dont talk here very often. 

LocalRacoon: shush danny boy

go back to hibernating in your room with all those books like a dragon with gold

Thebestbaseballer: exactly danny boy

your like a little dragon but instead of gold you hoard loneliness and books

DannyHeng: …

Fuck you Stelle.

Dannyheng has gone offline.

Thebestbaseballer: lmfao

hmmmmmmmm i should probably change his username now

also i need to add firefly into this since she isnt in our history class

Thebestbaseballer has added Firefly to the chat.

Thebestbaseballer has changed two usernames

Thebestbaseballer: @BaebyGirl hii firefly!!!

LocalRacoon: oh god there are more gays in this chat

BaebyGirl has come online.

ChaosIncarnate (affectionate) has come online

ChaosIncarnate (affectionate):caelus 

I still have some of that stinkbomb from yesterday

LocalRacoon: and suddenly for the safety of my life i will be going offline and shutting up 

Thebestbaseballer: lmfao 

thanks sparkle 

my favorite whirlwind of chaos

ChaosIncarnate (affectionate): no problem my little racoon :)

ExtrovertedIceCube: im not even the victim here yet that little smile still terrifies me 

i cant tell if i should be either disturbed or impressed

Thebestbaseballer: yes

ExtrovertedIceCube: that does not make it better stelle

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cipher —> Caelus

Cipher: hey 

star boy

are you planning to leave me on seen forever

Caelus: Yes.

Cipher: :( thats just rude cae 

we had a good thing going anyways

Caelus: [incredulousstare.png]

good thing my ass

we were literally kleptomaniacs and we were orphans

Cipher: exactly! 

a very good thing going 

Caelus has gone offline.

Cipher: well thats just depressing cae

Chapter Text

Hell on earth.

5 people online

2:41 AM

LocalRacoon: my existence is defined by pain and suffering 

i just stubbed my aeons damn toe while trying to eat dinner

Thebestbaseballer: go back to bed 

Its 3 am caelus 

at least i had the foresight to eat like 3 hours ago

LocalRacoon: fuck off stelle 

ur also up at 3 am 

and im hungry for ramen cups 

Thebestbaseballer: i will string your skin and bones ass up as a halloween decoration this year if you dont get the hell to sleep 

LocalRacoon: your just as skinny as me??

stfu stelle

Feixiao: i feel like the more important question is why are you two still awake?

its 3 am and caelus is just having dinner?

BookHoardingDragon: Honestly at this point me and march dont question it anymore.

They are stray racoons through and through.

And why does my name keep getting changed?

Thebestbaseballer: because fuck you danny boy

thats why 

this is also your penance for holing up in your dorm with all those books and history novels

seriously where the hell did jing yuan get all those?

Feixiao: sometimes im amazed you two function at all 

LocalRacoon: so hmmm

slight issue 

after i was done lamenting my existence as i stubbed my toe 

Thebestbaseballer: (read; flailing like a headless chicken)

LocalRacoon: fuck off stelle

but anyways that big jar of razors we keep for whatever reason shattered

so im stuck in the kitchen and possibly bleeding

Feixiao: i have so many questions right now 

but are you alright caelus? 

and why does your home have a big jar of razors??

LocalRacoon: huh? yeah im fine rn 

we kept the razors for spreading peanut butter over bread 

but now we just sorta use them for cutting paper or tape

Feixiao: sigh 

I'll be right over to help you then

LocalRacoon: ???

I dont need help though?

Feixiao: too late

Im already getting on my bike 

Feixiao has gone offline.

LocalRacoon: ?????

you are so confusing feixiao

ExtrovertedIceCube: caelus rn:

[caelushasstoppedworking,jpeg]

LocalRacoon: im way too tired to argue rn

so im just going to go offline and talk to you idiots in the morning

LocalRacoon has gone offline.

Thebestbaseballer: i should keep you guys posted on what they do

Im not a weaker woman and its worth it to watch them interact lmfao

Baebygirl: stelle!!! :D

get to sleep already star

Thebestbaseballer: you know what 

maybe i am a weaker woman

Baebygirl: hehe

now go to bed silly

Thebestbaseballer has gone offline.

Baebygirl has gone offline. 

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are we so fucked up?

2 participants online out of 7

4:19 AM

Closetedfurry: ahhhhhhhh

im bored

someone wake up and entertain me

I know for a fact your still awake anaxa and aglaea

IsolationEnjoyer: what are you doing up so late cipher?

its 4 in the morning

Closetedfurry: hi cassie!!!

im just bored 

couldnt sleep 

damn the aeons for giving me insomnia

IsolationEnjoyer: uh huh..?

Closetedfurry: hey

whats with that skepticism hm?

IsolationEnjoyer: cipher

we’ve known each other for so long at this point 

I can count the amount of times you haven't gotten a good nights rest because your thinking about someone specific

especially your so called star from when we were kids

Closetedfurry: it should be illegal for you to read me this well despite staying in your house all day

also is it a crime to reminisce on better days nowadays cassie?

IsolationEnjoyer: [incredulousstare.png]

cipher

you were an orphan and living on the streets 

your still an orphan

Closetedfurry: always so serious cassie

but im going to bed now

Closestedfurry has gone offline.

IsolationEnjoyer: sigh 

what are we going to do with you cipher?

Chapter Text

Hell on earth

4 participants online

6:35 AM

LocalRacoon: im fucking losing it 

this mathematics class i swear to the aeons

i have a test TODAY

that i did not study for 

whatsoever

Thebestbaseballer: lmfao get fucked cae 

and no i am not stealing more weed for you because you do better while high or some shit

LocalRacoon: you are not helping whatsoever stelle 

I should just steal your cigs if you arent going to help 

Thebestbaseballer: you wouldnt dare steal my cigs 

Ill sic feixiao on you if you try it 

ExtrovertedIceCube: you two seriously still smoke? 

I thought i already bribed sparkle to torch all your cigarettes stelle

Thebestbaseballer: THAT WAS YOU???

So help me aeons march im going to burn your photos next time we meet

Feixiao has come online.

Feixiao: hey do you any of you kn- 

i just backread

should I even be surprised?

BookHoardingDragon: Nope. 

You really shouldn't be at this point. 

Feixiao: i should probably like

make sure caelus doesnt find any weed

Braincell1 has come online. 

Braincell2 has come online.

Braincell1: Caelus, why are you looking for weed again?

I thought Welt and I paid Wolfie to snatch all your weed in freshman year?

LocalRacoon: ok first of all you fucking lurkers 

I do better on tests when im high as a kite

second of all you fucking paid Wolfie to steal my weed back then?

assholes 

each and everyone of you

Braincell2: I thought Himeko made it quite clear that smoking weed wasn't healthy?

ExtrovertedIceCube: poor caelus 

The two braincells of this class have come together purely to bully him 

anyways i need to go, sisters out of the ward

ExtrovertedIceCube has gone offline.

LocalRacoon: …

did she mean like a medical ward?

or an asylum ward?

Thebestbaseballer: did she ever even mention she had a sister before this??

I swear to the aeons she said she was an only child in freshman year

@BookHoardingDragon

do u know anything about this??

BookHoardingDragon: [shrugemoji.png]

No idea who she is referring to.

LocalRacoon: ughhhh fuck this im going back to sleep

Too many implications for one day 

LocalRacoon has gone offline.

—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Why are we so fucked up?

4 participants online

1:34 PM

TheDefinitionOfInsanity: guess what bitches?

Im back from the asylum!!!

also im medicated now which sucks 

my thoughts arent very fun anymore

BotanyNerd: evernight how did you get a phone this fast?

and why is your first action to getting out of a mental ward chatting here of all places

no one here is the peak of mental health

TheDefinitionOfInsanity: shrug

I borrowed my sister’s laptop for now until i can get a phone again myself

also ill be living with her a while for some reason

something something i need stability or whatever those nerds in coats said

FunctionalBraincell: Terravox, refrain from texting during school

I know for a fact lunch just ended for you. 

Welcome back from the asylum Evernight

I trust you won't be setting any more buildings alight?

TheDefinitionOfInsanity: yeah yeah whatever

my sisters friends are probably just as terrible as me

If not worse