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“Big brother?”
Nightmare turned around at the call, grinning fondly. Carefully, he removed his hands from the second-highest shelf of the towering, roof-high bookshelf. Although logically, he knew that bumping into anything would have no effect.
“Hey Daze, how are you?” Nightmare asked the small goopy child who looked up at him expectantly.
Daze’s cyan eye sparkled at the question, mirroring Nightmare's grin with a happy smile, “I’m good, big brother! What are you doing?”
Floating his incorporeal form down to Daze’s height, Nightmare explained, “oh, I was just looking at the books here. I would sort them out, but,” he gestured to his ghostly hands, phasing them through the spine of a thick book, “y’know, so I was looking for some that you might like to read with me later.”
The younger’s tentacles wagged as they watched Nightmare talk about things he enjoyed, a couple giving a little flick from the spark of grief that dissipated almost before they could feed on it.
“Ooh that’s cool. If you wanna, I could sort them for you?” they offered.
“Thank you Daze, that’s a very kind offer; we should do that sometime!” Nightmare smiled, “but, did you need something?”
Wide eyed, Daze paused for a little—their brother could practically see the cogs turning—until they gasped.
“That’s right! I have a question!” They cried, putting one hand on their hip, and pointing the other in Nightmare’s direction dramatically.
Laughing, he replied, “Ask away.”
“Yay! Okay…” Daze took a big breath as if to prepare themselves, “What is a ‘gender’?”
Nightmare paused for a second, before bursting out in surprised laughter. Daze tilted their head quizzically. Was ‘gender’ a funny word—or maybe a bad one? Or maybe they pronounced it wrong?
“Sorry—“ Nightmare wheezed, “Sorry, sorry, I wasn’t expecting that question.”
Ah, so they had spoken correctly. Daze supposed that it was just a common word that most people just knew—yeah, they’re smart, but they’re not very clever. Well, they were probably in for a lengthy explanation, then. Without further prompting, Daze plonked themself onto the floor in front of the large bookshelf and looked up at their older sibling with expectant eyes.
“Okay, okay…” Nightmare started, crossing his legs as he floated, tapping his cheek with a finger as he gathered his words, “This is going to be hard to explain…uhm…
“So basically, gender is a human concept. It involved how a person sees themselves. The ‘main’ genders are male, female, and non-binary, which is basically an umbrella term for any other gender identity.
“Usually, a human’s gender lines up with their birth sex, but not always! People who change their gender, or have a gender that doesn’t match their birth sex is called being ‘transgender’. This also includes non-binary people, but it’s more commonly used to refer to boys who were born as girls (transmale or transmasculine) and girls who were born as boys (transfemale or transfeminine).
“…you know what a sex is right?”
Daze kept staring at Nightmare for a while before they realised that he was talking to them. Quickly, they nodded.
“Uhm, yeah! I think! It’s like the uhm…what parts you were born with?” They spoke uncertainly, biting their lip.
Nightmare gave a wobbly smile, sighing in relief as it became clear the conversation would not become uncomfortably close to the topic of “the talk”.
“Yeah, yeah that’s right…enough, Daze.”
Daze’s smile returned eagerly at the confirmation that they had been thinking of the right thing. Yaaay! I got it right! Human terms sure are confusing sometimes… Daze thought excitedly as Nightmare continued,
“So basically, gender is part of a human’s identity and it most commonly lines up with their birth sex, but often, it doesn’t, and that’s fine too. Usually, the pronouns that a person uses lines up with their gender identity, like he/him for a guy, she/her for a girl, and they/them or others, such as neos for non-binary folk. Or you can use a mix!
“But even then, your pronouns aren’t defined by what your gender is. Like, a girl could enjoy using male pronouns, and that wouldn’t make him any less of a girl. It’s confusing, sure, but if that’s what people are most comfortable with, then I think it’s fine.
“There’s a lot of controversy around gender and that sort of thing, mainly from transphobes who like to abuse kids for doing something that makes them happy.”
Nightmare paused for a moment, a lamenting look crossing his face, before he quickly shook his head and continued,
“Personally, I believe that you can identify however you like, and use whatever pronouns you like, as long as you don’t put unrealistic expectations on other people. Like, you can use wild neo pronouns, identify with a brand new gender identity specific for you, but you need to understand that many people will not understand, and you need to be patient and kind with others.
“What do you think, Daze?”
“I don’t get it, why do you change your gender?” Daze puzzled with a creased brow and a pout.
Nightmare froze, looking a little hesitant at the familiar hateful line, before his common sense and emotion sensing abilities confirmed that Daze was genuinely asking a question.
“Well, it’s different for everyone I suppose, but I’m personally a trans male, and I identify as a guy because that’s what feels like the real me. It also really hurts when people call me a girl…I can’t explain it sorry Daze…oh, actually…”
Nightmare giggled a little as he continued, “it’s like…you know when you people call spiders insects—“
“SPIDERS ARE ARACHNIDS,” Daze shouted the second the negative guardian spoke, “ARACHNIDS.”
You see Daze really, really liked bugs. And beads; they would often make insect-inspired designs and charms. They hated when people got their insect facts wrong, especially simple things like the classes of bug-like animals.
Nightmare laughed, “I know, I know. But it’s like that, kind of. A big emphasis on the ‘kind of’. For me, when people call me a girl, it feels like when people call a spider an insect for you. But uhh…probably not quite as outraged? Anyways, the point is that it just isn’t right.”
“Ooh.”
“What is your gender Daze? I just told you I was a boy, a transmale, but do you know what your gender is?”
“Uhm—“ Daze looked at Nightmare with a touch of disconcert. “I don’t think I have a gender.”
“Right, right,” Nightmare laughed, “of course. So…you don’t mind any pronouns then? I notice people using he/him to refer to you a lot…I must say that I’m guilty of that myself…do you have a preference?”
In contrast to the eccentric behaviour and responses that Nightmare was used to, Daze slightly shrunk in on themself with the inquiry. Nightmare frowned.
“Well…uhm…I let people call me that because I’m supposed to be pretending to be you, remember? For the uhm…the plan…but…” Daze looked down at their hands, “I don’t like when they call me that because I’m not a boy…and it’s silly because gender is a human—or a mortal concept, but I just…”
Nightmare smiled gently, floating down to sit in front of his little brother—sibling, “hey, I understand you completely. I don’t like it when people call me a ‘she’, remember?”
Although Nightmare did find it a little odd—and frankly, illogical—that Daze couldn’t grasp the concept of being transgender, yet they themselves were technically non-binary, he supposes that to Daze, they were a ‘them’, and they couldn’t understand changing from that. Or, maybe, they were just being a loveable doofus—as per usual.
Daze squished their cheeks slightly as they nodded in response to Nightmare’s question.
Nightmare continued, “would you prefer gender neutral terms instead? Like they and them? Or would you maybe prefer ‘it’ pronouns? Or something else entirely?”
“They…” Daze whispered, “I know I’m a thing but I don’t like when people call me an ‘it’…”
“Hey now,” Nightmare said, gently cupping his sibling's cheek—or well, he attempted to. His hand phased through, of course, but Daze moved their face up in accordance to his movement either way.
“You don’t have to be a thing anymore Daze. If you ask me I don’t think you ever were. Just because your vessel was a thing doesn’t make you one.”
Unsurely, Daze simply held eye contact with Nightmare for a moment, before looking away and saying, “okay…”
The dark ghost sighed, deciding to change the subject. He hated to admit it—as he never wanted to put pressure on people to always be happy or upbeat—but Daze’s hesitancy was digging a pit in his gut.
“So,” He asked, “do you get what a gender is now?”
Slowly blinking, Daze stared at him owlishly before stating, “No.”
Nightmare simply stared back at them for a while before bursting out laughing.
“Yeah—yeah, okay, that’s fair.” He said breathlessly, taking a moment to compose himself before continuing, “is there anything specifically you don’t understand so I can explain it to you?”
Daze squinted their eyes, bringing a curled finger to their lips and humming at a comedic volume before turning again to Nightmare, dead serious.
“Can I eat one?”
“I—“ Nightmare had to shake his head to comprehend the absurdity of the request, “What??”
“Can I eat one?” Daze repeated determinedly, leaning forward on folded legs, their hands forming fists.
“I’m sorry—what are you asking if you can eat?” Nightmare spoke, trying to go along as best he could with the confusing request.
“A gender.”
“Uhm…” Nightmare bit his lip hesitantly, “No…no, I really don’t think you can…uh, gender is a concept, not a physical…thing…”
Daze just titled their head and with a confused pout, “But…you eat negativity and I eat positive negativity and big brother Dream eats positivity and brother Trance eats negative positivity! Those aren’t…usually…physical things”
“Yes—yes, but—I mean, yes, that’s true but you—I’m sorry Daze but you can’t eat a gender.” Nightmare said, trying with all his might not to hold his head in his hands and just…think about his life for a moment. Or, as much of a life as he had, being a ghost. Or a spirit. He didn’t really know the specifics of his existence, to be honest.
“I’m going to do it anyways!” the goopy monster cried determinedly, “I don’t care if you say I can’t, I’m going to anyways!”
“You know what? Sure. Okay, go ahead.”
Daze leapt up from the ground, letting out a cheer and a whoop, “Yaaay!”
Miming grabbing their brother’s hands, they shook them vigorously, bouncing with their tentacles wagging alongside them. Though, as they were only mimicking grabbing Nightmare’s arms, the ghost simply stared awkwardly at the display, as their hands stayed in place while Daze’s fluttered about.
Abruptly, Daze froze, before removing their hands from the air where Nightmare’s hands were, swinging them by their sides in sync with the tentacles on their back.
“That was all I needed to ask you!” They sang, “I need to go do important stand-in negative guardian stuff now, bye bye!”
And as suddenly as they entered, Daze skipped out of the room, humming a familiar tune.
Nightmare shook his head. He had never anticipated gaining knowledge of his two other siblings when he ate the apple, but it was probably the only thing he didn’t regret from that day. Nightmare loved his little sibling. Even when they asked him absurd questions and made him question his sanity. After all, what else are little siblings for?