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As summer wound down into August, Susannah finally began to feel the magic return to their lives. The past year had been grueling and terrible, with the seemingly endless chemo treatments, the nausea, the hair loss, the extreme fatigue. It had been awful for her entire family, as well as Laurel’s, as they juggled coordinating doctors' appointments, the boys’ schedules and the impossible task of maintaining some sense of normalcy.
Her final chemotherapy round had been in the middle of April and the prognosis looked good. Her body had finally eliminated all her cancer-ridden cells but she was warned repeatedly that recovery would be a months-long process.
Adam had argued with her about staying in Boston for the summer to recuperate but Susannah adamantly refused. She knew that he had been lying to her and the boys about where he was all those late nights. She didn’t need to confront him. She didn’t even have the patience or energy for it anyway. She could see the truth written on his face without him having to say a word. All Susannah wanted was to take her boys and retreat to the summer house, the one place in the world they could all escape to and heal from the scars of the past year.
It had been just what she needed – the meditative crash of the water, Laurel’s ever-present but comforting worry, the sound of the kids’ laughter from the living room as Belly and Conrad got too competitive at the weekly card game. All of it had made her bones feel stronger and her heart lighter. There had been no need to worry. They had all weathered this storm and had made it to the other side, just as she always knew they would.
All summer, Susannah had watched the kids gradually begin hitting various milestones of adolescence. She could see the glimmer of newfound freedom in Conrad’s eyes as he drove himself anywhere he wanted. Suddenly, Jeremiah and Steven were chasing girls (and boys) all over Cousins, and Belly had begun fumbling through all the awkwardness that came with being a fourteen-year-old girl. They were growing up and the thought brought tears to both her and Laurel’s eyes as they sat curled on the couch one late July night.
But like it was with teenagers everywhere, it definitely wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.
“Why can’t I just come with you guys?!” Belly whines from the entryway.
“Oh my god, we’re going to see the new Marvel movie,” Steven spins around to face her. “You don’t even like superhero movies.”
Conrad appears from the kitchen, swinging his car keys around his middle finger. “C’mon, Steven, she could still come if she wanted to.”
Steven blanches as if that’s the craziest idea in the world. “No, no – no way, I don’t want to keep having to drag my little sister around everywhere I go!”
Susannah leans against the living room door frame, observing the conversation. You would have thought it was the end of the world by the way they were shouting.
Laurel chooses the perfect time to come ambling down the stairs. “Steven, do not yell at your sister like that!”
“But she’s being annoying and clingy,” Steven mutters under his breath.
“I really don’t want to hear it,” Laurel says, her tone dripping with exasperation.
Susannah walks up behind Belly and wraps her arms around her in a shoulder hug. “Alright, it’s all going to be fine. Belly will just stay with us and we’ll have our own movie night.”
Susannah smiles down at her, hoping she likes the idea but Belly still has a disappointed look on her face.
Jeremiah groans from the halfway-opened door. “Great, do we have this all figured out? We’re gonna be late.”
“Yeah, let’s go. Have fun with the moms!” Steven sings-songs as he follows Jeremiah out the door.
Conrad glances at Belly, a sympathetic look on his face. “Sorry, Belly. Maybe next time?” he says gently, before slowly moving to join the other boys.
“Yeah. Next time.” Belly says quietly to the closed door.
“Oh, my special girl, you don’t want to hang out with those gross boys anyway,” Susannah says, shifting Belly away from the door and toward the kitchen. “We always have more fun when it's just us girls.” It’s the truth. Susannah loves her boys but she cherishes the time she gets to spend with just Laurel and Belly, her beautiful summer girls.
“Yeah, I guess.” Belly mumbles, sounding entirely unconvinced. “I just want to go out and have fun like they do.”
A slight smile forms on Laurel’s face as she glances toward Susannah. “Oh, Bean. You will have plenty of time for all that when you’re older.”
“I am older. I’m fourteen,” Belly pouts, self-consciously pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
Susannah laughs and cups Belly’s face in her hands, “How about we watch Mamma Mia tonight? One of your favorites. We’ll even make some popcorn and hot cocoa.”
Belly looks up at Susannah, a smile forming despite her stubbornness. “I guess that does sound fun.”
“Of course, it does,” Susannah says. “Go set up the TV and we’ll get the snacks ready.”
The Mamma Mia movie night was a success. Belly’s sour mood had instantly evaporated at the first notes of the ABBA classic. Susannah couldn’t blame her, whose mood wasn’t completely lifted by Meryl Streep belting out the title track on a Grecian rooftop?
Before long, Belly had turned the evening into her own personal karaoke night, scream-singing to every song. Susannah couldn’t help the wide smile that spread across her face as she joined in. Even Laurel, giggling from Belly’s other side, sang a few off-key notes.
Their movie night had slowly progressed into an all-out dance party by the time the boys returned home. Belly had connected her phone to the Bluetooth speakers and was blasting Dancing Queen as the three of them pranced around the room without a care in the world.
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the music’s high
This, Susannah thinks, is all she would ever need. A carefree summer night in her favorite place with her favorite girls, singing and dancing until their throats dried up and their feet hurt. Aching bones, sterile hospitals and broken marriages were nothing but distant memories.
She notices from her peripheral vision as the boys make their way through the front door, chatting amongst themselves.
“You're back!” Belly shouts over the loud music. “Come and dance!”
“Yeah, right,” Steven scoffs, laughing with Jeremiah, before moving up the stairs. “We're gonna go for a night swim.”
Susannah notices Conrad hanging back, maintaining a safe distance from their blissful chaos, curiosity covering his features.
“C'mon, dance with me!” Belly laughs, her typical nervousness lost to the joy of the moment. She grabs Conrad's hands and all but drags him into the fray, still singing.
You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Belly automatically links her arm with Conrad’s and spins them around in a circle as the music washes over them. It was a move that Susannah recognizes immediately as one she and Laurel had done a million times over, when the kids were small and dance parties were still a part of their daily routine.
She feels her heart clench in her chest as she watches them. What she would give to freeze this moment and keep them happy forever. Take a photo and keep it in a locket around her neck. Her brush with death has only seemed to strengthen the urge to hold them close.
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
Laurel throws her head back in a laugh and Susannah watches as all the worry and stress leave her best friend's face for what seems like the first time in over a year. Conrad’s features loosen with happiness as he and Belly jump around to the beat, hands clasped.
It was in moments like this that Susannah was reminded of how similar Conrad was to Laurel. How they both kept their emotions close to their chest in order to make others comfortable. How it could be like pulling teeth to get them to admit what they’re really thinking. Susannah had relied on Laurel’s innate understanding of Conrad since before he could even talk. His second mother in all the ways that counted.
You’re a teaser, you turn ‘em on
Leave ‘em burning and then you’re gone
As joyful as the moment is, Susannah knows not to overdo it. She slowly removes herself and falls gently back onto the couch, content to just observe. As expected, Conrad notices immediately, moving away from Belly to take the spot next to her. Susannah watches as his eyes do a quick scan of her face. Seemingly satisfied with his conclusion, he tucks himself gently into her side.
Susannah relishes having him near, gently carding her hand through his soft hair. It’s not often your teenage son lets you cuddle up close, so she takes advantage while she can.
See that girl, watch that scene
Digging the dancing queen
Belly continues to dance around the room, imitating numerous 1970s-style disco moves while belting out the final chorus. Unlike Susannah, her energy seems to have only increased as the song builds. Susannah loves to watch her like this, to witness all her insecurities melt away and be replaced by that fun-loving little girl. It is Isabel Conklin at her purest – bright, blooming and lovely.
She feels Conrad’s whole body shift beside her as he takes a sharp breath in. She glances over at him to find his eyes trained on Belly, following her around the room. His gaze is soft, almost mesmerized, and his lips are quirked up slightly as if moments away from a smile. He was staring at her without blinking, as if afraid she would disappear.
Belly’s long-standing crush on Conrad was somewhat of an open secret in the Beck summer house. They could all see the way she followed him around and nervously giggled in his presence. Susannah was almost positive that Conrad knew as well but he never teased her about it. Never made her feel silly. Instead, he went out of his way to include her, to help her, to be sweet to her. Belly’s very own built-in Prince Charming.
But maybe, Susannah thinks, it had been more than that all along. Perhaps, Belly wasn’t the only one with a crush.
Susannah removes her fingers from Conrad’s hair and moves to squeeze his cheek affectionately. He jolts at the movement as if he had forgotten she was there and forcefully pulls his gaze away from Belly.
Susannah attempts to catch his eye but he’s purposefully keeping his head down. The restraint only lasts a few seconds, though, as he slowly lifts his eyes up through his lashes, landing back on Belly. Susannah can’t help but chuckle to herself. He thinks he’s being so very subtle.
Dancing Queen quickly fades out into another song and Susannah attempts to hide her smirk with her hand. “Connie, honey, why don’t you show Belly that two-step I was teaching you earlier?” she probes. She barely contains her laugh at the brief flash of panic that crosses Conrad’s face.
“That would be amazing!” Belly gushes automatically before self-consciously stuttering, “You know, only if - only if you want to.” Her cheeks immediately flush.
“Of course, I can,” Conrad says, his nervous smile mirroring Belly’s. He jumps up quickly and wraps his hands around Belly’s forearms, sliding them down until their hands meet. “Okay, so it starts off like this…”
Laurel plops down next to Susannah and leans in to whisper in her ear. “I know what you’re doing,” she says, looking at her with amused exasperation. It’s a classic Laurel look that she’s seen often throughout their friendship.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Susannah quips innocently. “Belly just loves to dance.”
Laurel shakes her head in amusement as Susannah wraps her arms around her. In a few short days, they would all be returning to reality, away from the summer house and away from each other. But for now, Susannah enjoys sitting next to her best friend and watching the beginnings of something wonderful.