Chapter Text
"Do we really have to travel that far away again?"
"It's just the Land of Lightning." Sarada folded her arms over her vest.
"The Seventh says you can stay home from this one, Kawaki. We're going to hand over a scroll to another Jinchuriki, Killer B, and come back. No fights involved."
"You said that on the last mission and a war broke out... You'll need me." He kicked off the wall. "I'm going."
"Keep your sea-sick barf breath off our boat," said Boruto, his elbows in the air as he folded his hands behind his head. "We'll be fine."
Kawaki eyed Boruto carefully. But he was already leaning over Sarada's shoulder looking at the scroll.
"Hmm... So that's the info, huh?"
"It's classified information, so don't go trying to read it!"
"Yeah yeah... Killer B, huh. I think when I was a kid, I used to call him octo-pops."
"Sounds like quite the nickname for someone as powerful as a jinchuriki." Mitsuki smiled.
"His way of talking is... A little special, ya know."
"Special?"
"You'll see when we get there. When does the boat leave?"
"Tomorrow morning, bright and early," said Sarada. "Don't be late."
"Yeah yeah..."
. . .
That night, Boruto tossed and turned in his sleep. He was too late to save her. And he could still hear her calling his name...
"...Boruto!"
He woke up with a gasp, blinking to see Sarada hovering over him. Alive.
"Sorry," he muttered, dropping his eyes to the sheets. "I'm up now, ya know..."
As usual, Sarada turned away to hide the expression on her face, only the slightest hint of softness to her tone betraying her concern. "Jeez, you didn't even set an alarm?"
Boruto pushed himself into a sitting position, the palm with the black diamond mark face down on his sheets. "The sound must've gotten lost somewhere in between Dad trying to rap and a giant octopus..."
She let loose a small laugh. "What's up with that..."
"I'll be ready in five minutes. Is Mom making breakfast?"
"It was on the table, but she's putting it in a separate lunch box for you. Don't forget your kunai strap this time."
"Yeah yeah." Boruto rolled himself out of bed and ran his fingers through his bed-head, shuffling towards the closet.
As Sarada left his room, he changed into a clean white shirt and slipped his arms into his jacket. That explanation wasn't enough to kill off her curiosity, but she wouldn't ask. She never did. She just showed up to save him when he bit off more than he could chew...
He clenched his fist.
At least this time, the monster in his dreams wasn't him.
. . .
Seven minutes later, Boruto walked out the door, a bento box in his hand that was clearly large enough for all three of them.
"Thanks Auntie Hinata," Sarada called inside.
"Come back safe, all three of you," Hinata replied, appearing from the kitchen only to walk up behind Boruto and put her hands on his shoulders. As she did, she smiled gently at Sarada and Mitsuki, as if to say, please take care of my son.
Boruto lifted his mom's hands off of his shoulders, but not without a gentle squeeze of reassurance. "No need to worry... This mission'll be a piece of cake!"
"Onii-chan!" Himawari slammed into Boruto's back, her little arms tight around his waist. "Have a safe trip!"
"You bet!" He twisted around to ruffle her hair. "I'll try to bring you back a souvenir!"
"Yayyy!"
"I'm off! See you in a few days!"
. . .
Once they were tucked inside the cabin of the small boat and cruising towards their destination with full stomachs and many thanks to Hinata, Boruto convinced Sarada and Mitsuki to play a few rounds of Shinobi bout. Several losses later, Boruto pleaded for one more round, but Sarada stopped him with a hand on her hip.
"Why do you always get so worked up over pointless things?"
"It's not pointless! It's a good game! Right, Mitsuki?"
Mitsuki smiled. "It's fun for me as long as you're enjoying it, Boruto."
"You brought your game console too, didn't you?" Sarada turned toward the door, letting the fresh sea breeze into the room and scattering the cards about. "Why don't you just play with that?"
Boruto stuck out his bottom lip. "What's up with her?"
"Who knows?" Mitsuki gathered up the scattered cards and realigned them all to be straight. "It may have something to do with the fact that we're on a boat again..."
The last time they were on a boat, Boruto threw himself into the ocean to stop a war. He felt bad about it. But he didn't die in the end, so everything worked out fine, didn't it? No one had to know that dying then would've made his life a bit easier.
With a rather complicated look on his face, he curled his fingers into the diamond mark on his palm. Those pills were in his bag, but he didn't know if they were having any sort of effect. Just in case, Kawaki was among the few that knew if he went insane again, he needed to be killed. Or rather, Kawaki was the only one Boruto trusted to do it. Sasuke had the chance and didn't take it. His dad said he'd do something about it, but Boruto knew that didn't involve killing him. They were both too softhearted...
The only reason Boruto agreed to go on this mission without Kawaki was because they were meeting Killer B, one of the other jinchuriki. If anything happened, Killer B could handle it. Or so Boruto hoped. It was just a matter of getting there...
He took the stacked cards from Mitsuki and tied them with a rubber band, then booted up his console. As the screen flashed white, Mitsuki stood to his feet, ducking his head from the low ceiling.
"I'm going to go get some fresh air."
"Mm." Boruto looked at the screen. The game he'd played to keep himself up all night after the Boro incident was the only thing he had downloaded. He sighed. "Have fun..."
. . .
The roar of the engine and splashing of the wake made Mitsuki's voice barely audible as he spoke to Sarada. "Boats are kind of traumatizing now, aren't they."
Sarada leaned more of her weight onto the railing. "Mm... That idiot doesn't even seem to be aware of what he did to us."
"Hey, Sarada... I've been wanting to ask this for a while, but you don't think he did that on purpose... Do you?"
Sarada sunk down to a crouch, her hands limply grasping the railing as she looked down at the splashing water. "You said a while ago... He stopped eating and sleeping because he was scared that monster would take over again... I think he's still having nightmares about it."
"Then..."
"I don't think it was on purpose... But..."
Mitsuki looked out over the horizon. "On this mission, if anything dangerous happens, I'll stop Boruto from trying to sacrifice himself."
"We'll stop him together. Jeez, that idiot sometimes makes me feel like a failure of a friend... And a captain... And..." She slid down to a sitting position, her back to the splashing water.
"...And?"
"I dunno." She gripped the steel railing tighter. "Don't you feel the same way?"
"I trust Boruto," Mitsuki replied, his yellow eyes gleaming in the bright sunlight. "That he won't put us through that again. But if he does..."
Sarada lifted her head.
"I'll give my life in his place to save him. Without hesitation. No questions asked."
"Mitsuki..."
"That's why you don't have to worry about anything, Sarada."
"I'll be the one to save you both," she said with as much determination as she could muster. "No one is dying. We're all going home from every mission together."
"I enjoy your wishful thinking," was Mitsuki's only response.
Sarada knew it was wishful thinking. But wishful thinking carried her emotions. Every time her dad left her house, he'd returned in one piece. Part of being a ninja involved sacrifice... She tried to prepare herself for that sacrifice every time her father left the house, every time she herself went on a mission. But preparing for and watching a life or death situation play out before her eyes were two different things.
Becoming hokage would only bring her closer to people. If she couldn't understand that being a ninja came with sacrifice, every death would tear her apart. But the fact that she had two team members so willing and ready to give up their lives... Was that really what being a ninja was supposed to be about?
She pondered these things as she sat in silence with Mitsuki until the sun hung low in the sky.
. . .
"Boruto."
Boruto cracked open his sleep deprived eyes. He tried to play his game, but all he did was zone off for a long time, only to fall asleep completely unaware and wake up as if he'd never been sleeping. The constant tiny jumping motions of the small speed boat must've lulled him into a state of peace.
"...Mitsuki? Are we there yet?" He rubbed at one of his eyes only to see hints of orange peeking through the small porthole window.
"The sun is setting. I thought you might want to see it."
"Hm? Ah..."
"That, and I think I made Sarada cry."
"Wait, what?!"
"Do your best. I'll stay here for a bit." Mitsuki put his hand on Boruto's back and pushed him towards the door.
"Mitsuki wait, I--"
He opened it, and with that, cold wind was slapping Boruto's face. Mitsuki could be rather dense and say some harsh things, but it was unlike Sarada to cry about anything. Ever.
Although, last time they were on a boat, he did try to kill himself... And she'd been on the verge of crying then as she threw her arms around him and buried her face into his neck. He clenched his fist tight.
When he finally saw Sarada, curled into a little ball at the stern of the ship, hugging her knees as she stared out across the water, a tightness settled into his chest. She looked so small against the vast backdrop of ocean. Something he didn't associate with Sarada until he'd seen her nearly crushed by Boro's massive hand. Something that made him keep his distance from her... For fear of hurting her as the monster he could become. But Kawaki wasn't here to be his buffer now. He had to handle this all on his own.
He took a deep breath of fresh salty air in through the lungs and walked up behind her. "Yo."
"...Yo."
Her voice was small. Something really did make her cry.
Instead of talking, he took a seat next to her, looking out over the sunset. All he could do was watch as it sank lower, coloring the clouds orangey pink, reflecting off of the slightly choppy surface of the ocean. He managed to catch a glimpse of Sarada's face, her cheeks glistening in the same manor from tear stains, the skin under her eyes slightly swollen and red.
He looked away and into his lap. That old familiar sinking feeling settled deep within his chest. "You know... Mitsuki can say some pretty harsh things some times, but he usually doesn't mean them..."
"You think I don't already know that?" she said with a sigh. Then she wiped at her eyes. "We should be there soon. You didn't lose the scroll, did you?"
"...Still in my tool pouch... Did you wanna carry it instead?"
"Ha," Sarada laughed, coming untucked from her ball as she put one hand on the boat's railing. "I'm fine. You hold onto it..."
He sighed. There wasn't much he could do or say to cheer Sarada up when he didn't know the reason for her crying. But just being here like this... Maybe it was good enough. Maybe he didn't have to say anything.
He laid back flat on the wooden deck, spreading his arms out like a starfish. It felt nice. Each breath felt lighter, the sky felt wider, and that sinking heaviness eased, albeit slightly. As crappy as his life was, he could at least enjoy a sunset.
"You really are an idiot," she muttered under her breath, just barely loud enough that Boruto caught it.
"Huh? What does that have to do with..." He stopped himself before the words could fully come out and sighed, relaxing all the muscles that had tensed. "...I'm sorry."
She leaned back. Boruto expected her to flinch in shock and yell at him to move his sprawled limbs. He didn't have the energy to yank them away just yet. But when she didn't flinch, when she just laid there causally as if his wrist was a pillow, the sky was no longer the only thing that had a pinkish hue.
"Thanks."
Boruto swallowed. "...For what?"
"Living."
He froze. That single word held so much more implication for him than she could ever hope to realize. Tightness seeped into his throat when he opened his mouth to respond. What could he even say? Heck, was that really why she'd been crying? Because they were on a boat, and it made her remember... That?
"Sarada--"
She was looking at him. Eyes swollen and puffy, looking at him.
A thump from the cabin behind him made him flinch so hard he probably pulled a muscle. He jerked his head in the opposite direction and yanked his arm out from under her, sitting straight up. That pinkish tint to his skin was nothing more than the inside collar of his jacket and the sky. He said that to himself over and over as he shrugged his shoulders forward, coughing to hide the pounding in his chest.
But Mitsuki never emerged from the cabin.
Boruto heaved a sigh and let his head rest on the steel bar in front of him. "You worry too much..."
"Do I really?" she asked, sitting up with a sigh. "Now every time I'm on a boat for the rest of my life, I'll remember all the trauma you put me and Mitsuki thorough... I don't think I'll ever get used to that part of being a ninja."
That part of being a ninja... Watching your friends die. Boruto tried not to think about that part ever. He was determined to save everyone. And yet... He made her and Mitsuki watch him die. Even if it was for a worthy sacrifice... Would he have stood still and let Sarada throw herself into the ocean? The thought filled him with an uncanny amount of rage.
If anyone should die, it should be him. The one with the monster living inside of him. Maybe before he got this karma, things would've been different. Maybe he would've tried to talk it out with Ikada instead of sacrificing himself.
He thought Sarada and Mitsuki both understood that the choice didn't just come from the fact that he was the Hokage's son, but the fact that he was already close to death. But maybe... It wasn't so different after all. They didn't really know... How little of him really remained.
Sarada turned slightly away from him. "That being said... The view of the sunset... is nice."
Boruto turned the other way before muttering, "mm," despite the sun not being there. His view of the sunset included Sarada, so he couldn't look. Because if he looked and felt emotions, Momoshiki could use them against him.