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Aziraphale and Crowley had never hugged. They’d never really been all that physical with each other. Even over millennia, they never had any reason to.
Not that Aziraphale didn’t want to; he just didn’t want to jeopardize their relationship. He had no way of knowing how Crowley felt, after all. Along with jeopardizing their safety from Heaven and Hell.
So when Crowley finally kissed him, in a desperate attempt to save their relationship, he couldn’t take it.
After millennia of being too afraid to even hug, Crowley had kissed him.
Oh, how he loved him. But it was all too much. Too fast. That’s why he ended up choking out a bitter “I forgive you,” before he could think straight.
“Don’t bother,” Crowley had replied and walked out of the bookshop.
Aziraphale was devastated; of course he didn’t want to go to Heaven! His mind must’ve been gone for that conversation. He’d been horrible to Crowley, not realizing that he’d be confessing and asking him to be with him.
Tears ran down his cheeks. How could Crowley ever forgive him?
He probably wouldn’t even be able to forgive himself.
Wiping the wetness from his eyes, he walked out of the bookshop and towards the elevator to Heaven. The Metatron stood by, same dull expression on his face. “Ready to go, Supreme Archangel?”
Aziraphale approached the lift slowly and stopped abruptly in front of it. “I-I’m afraid I can’t accept this offer.” He said, almost shakily.
The Metatron stared at him seriously before clearing his throat, “Well, if that’s what you really want,” and the doors shut. He was gone. And Aziraphale was free. Not from the Second Coming, of course. But for now.
Aziraphale turned around to see Crowley still standing at his Bentley. He’d waited for him. There was still a chance. To make everything right. For them to be together. To finally be an us.
His legs started to move, but changed directions and headed towards the bookshop instead. Surely Crowley would get the hint.
Aziraphale walked through the doors and faced the pillar. Tears welled in his eyes as an attempt to blink them back.
A few minutes passed until Crowley came through the double doors. His glasses shadowing the silhouette of his eyes.
“So, how come you didn’t go? Thought you were gonna ‘fix Heaven’ ‘n all.” His words felt like daggers, though clear in his voice that he was upset.
“I decided not to. Heaven isn’t going to change, so there’s no point in trying to fix it.” Aziraphale said, still turned away from Crowley.
“Good. Good.” Crowley spoke awkwardly, his feet stepping side to side.
A sheet of silence covered the room. Neither of them spoke for a while.
“Well, I’m gonna go. Wouldn’t want a ‘bad guy’ like me here, so, goodbye, Aziraphale.” Crowley’s voice cracked as he began to move towards the door.
“No! Crowley, wait- I, I didn’t mean it like that…” Aziraphale finally turned to face him. Tears dripping quietly down his face.
“How’d you mean it then?” Crowley swallowed.
“I- I don’t know! I just… I didn’t mean you, Crowley. You’re not a bad guy, you’ve never been bad.” Aziraphale sobbed quietly.
Crowley paused, staring at the tearful angel in front of him. “Why’d you say it then? Why’d you try to make me become an angel again?”
“I don’t- I don’t know… but I didn’t want you to become an angel I just-” He got cut off by Crowley’s sudden interrogation.
“Then why did you ask me?”
“I just wanted you to be safe-“
“Why’d you think changing me would save me?”
“I didn’t want to change you-“
“I thought you knew Heaven and Hell were toxic?”
“I do I-“
“Then why did you want to go back?”
“I didn’t!” Aziraphale finally snapped, tears now streaming down his cheeks.
“I didn’t want to, Crowley! I never wanted to! I told him no! But when he said you could come with me, I thought we could save the world together, again. And you’d be safe and then we’d come back to earth and watch over the humans like always. I never wanted to change you, Crowley! I love you the way you are!”
After that, it went quiet. Aziraphale put a hand over his mouth and stared down at his shoes. He’d never confessed like that before.
“I-I’m sorry, I know I was wrong to consider that,” Aziraphale broke the silence, “And if you never want to see me again, that’s fine. I won’t bother you anymore.”
Crowley moved his mouth in contemplation as he fidgeted with his fingers.
He started to approach the angel, now standing centimetres away from him.
“You love me?” He finally spoke, his voice breaking around syllables.
Aziraphale looked up to meet his eyes blocked by the glass shields. He tried to hold back the waterfall that threatened to flow out.
“Of course I do, Crowley. How could I not?” His voice cracked.
Crowley brought his hand up to lightly caress his cheek, wiping the existing tears away.
Aziraphale practically leaped to wrap his arms around his neck. “I’m so sorry, Crowley!” He wailed, the dam breaking.
“It’s- It’s alright, Angel.” He swallowed again, trying to soften the lump in his throat.
“Oh, I really hurt you, didn’t I?” Aziraphale pulled away to cradle his face in his hands. His fingers brushing the tears that escaped his glasses.
“My dear, how can I make it up to you?”
“You don’t ave’ to. I hurt you, too.”
“Please, my dear?”
Crowley sighed, taking off his glasses and dropping them to the floor.
“Just… Promise me you won’t leave again?”
“I promise, Crowley.” Aziraphale sniffled and gave him a watery smile.
Crowley held onto his waist softly and buried his face in his neck. “Then, I forgive you.”
“Oh, my dear, I love you so much.” Aziraphale hugged him tighter, running his fingers up and down the black clad of his blazer.
“I love you too, Angel, always ‘ave.”
They stood like that for a minute. It felt like hours. Finally embracing each other after millennia of fear.
“‘S not fair.” Crowley spoke, breaking the silence.
“What’s not fair?” Aziraphale pulled away to cradle his face again.
“That we still can’t be free.”
Aziraphale pondered for a moment, caressing his cheek.
“We will be. Once we stop the Second Coming.”
“Together?”
“Together.”
And they did.