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Hoo boy, Roger's really in it now... It started off as a misspeak—a consequence of his tendency to mutter. He was talking to Fabron about his (really cool!!) computer on the breakroom, and was about to elaborate more on a month back when he nearly fried his brain with said device. Maybe he should offer Fabron a bite to eat? They should be able to collectively afford a cheeseburger and singular french fry to their names, who knows? Maybe they can kick things off, move in with eachother for tax purposes, and have a pet emu named New Folder (3)... Oh wait, a centipede! Maybe a fern, one of those ones that grows the pretty flowers and isn't made of plastic... Wait, what was he thinking about?
Oh right— He was gonna tell Fabron about what led to the events of.. all that fuckery. While he was explaining though, about to talk about his super awesome bestfriend Peter, he misspoke and said 'be' instead of 'he'. To most people, it's a simple mess up, just a slip of the voicebox, right? But Roger... He froze. Not because he mispronounced a super simple word in front of his coworker—well, yeah, that was admittedly part of the reason, he really did feel like a headlighted deer in headlights when he let that one slip—but something... Stuck, about 'be'. Even though he wasn't sure why, it just felt so... natural? to say out loud. Fabron was still standing there, slightly confused by the sudden pause, and...
Okay, so maybe Roger ran out of the room abruptly and locked himself in his office for the next 30 minutes, frantically pacing around and spouting gibberish. But hey, he wasn't being super not-productive, during that time! He remembers thinking and using his brain to try and figure out why 'be' felt... right, to think about. Be is Roger, this is bim, be's Roger, be's bimself, Roger, be bim bimself...
"Roger!!"
With a jolt, Roger returns to reality, staring at a somewhat peeved Peter. Yeah, be uh... Roger told him be had something to tell him... Bis head turns to the side a little, optic sensors spotting the nearest wall clock. Be's been staring off at nothing for the past five minutes. With a start, the orange phone clears bis throat, clutching bis briefcase tightly as be does so. "O-Oh, sorry Peter! Just uh.. gathering my thoughts, I guess.. Ahem."
The other man just sighs, head turning to the side with impatience as he gesture for Roger to get a move on. If only he knew just how much reason there was for Roger to be so nervous right now... They're both in Peter's office, which is what was Roger's old office; Much roomier, much cleaner, even has a window! They're stood just in front of his desk, the only other sound in the room besides the increase of nervous static being the scuttlers above the ceiling tiles, watching, waiting. Be really hates them, the scuttlers. One time, they stole Roger's lunch, it was something be really looked forward to eating, too. Maybe a PB&J? Wait, no, be's allergic to those.. A J? No, it wasn't a sandwich... Wait, no, focus on the bim.
Be clears bis throat again, vociebox making a loud crackle as be does so. "Uh, P-Peter... Uhm....." Oh no, be's regretting this a lot already. Fiddling with bis briefcase, a hand going up to fiddle with bis hat, foot tapping against the mildewy carpet with light, soggy slaps, Rotary Christ Roger's a mess... "Do you know what a 'pronoun' is?" No no no no what on Earth was THAT!?!? Oh no, oh fuck, Peter's head is doing that tilt thing it does when he's perplexed, shiiiiitt.... Be immediately tries to backpedal on the question, frame closing in on itself as be does so. "Well, of course you do, y-you passed school... I believe. W-What I meant was—" Peter lets out an involuntary chuckle stopping any further humiliation. Oh no, Roger's gonna be fired for being stupid and woke, isn't be?..
The red-headed phone takes a step closer to Roger, a hand outstretched hover just over bis shoulder, waiting, a quiet way to ask if he can place it on bis shoulder. When be doesn't retreat, Peter makes full commitment to the contact, not retreating even when Roger lets out a staticky exhale, the cooling-fans in bis head whirring like crazy. B-Be should be able to trust Peter, right? Peter's an open guy, always willing to learn, always supportive... But then, why does be feel so... scared? "Roger...," Peter begins, fingers just barely clenching around bis shoulder. It isn't his usual 'Roger...', it's a lot less disappointed than that one, this one feels more... round? Roger can't think of the word— Soft. The expression feels soft, like bis favorite stuffed animal (the humble centipede). "Are you... ready, to tell me what you want to?"
Hm. Be didn't think... Bis be ready!? Be first thought about it, what, a week ago? Is be ready?? Roger gives a halfhearted shrug, both hands back on bis briefcase, tapping away at its dark exterior. The room feels a bit stuffy, no longer from just the poor ventilation as be tries to think about if be's ready. The change, the humiliation, the acceptance... Only one thing really seems to stick out to bim though.
"One of the pronouns is technically a word, uh... Is that still alright?" Peter doesn't even dignify that question with a laugh, just nodding along with his arms crossed curiously, head barely tilted to the side as he tries and pieces together what Roger means. "Roger, they're yours, and because of that..." A light snicker leaves crackles out of him as he continues. "They adhere to just as few rules as you do, and that's perfectly fine." If Roger had organic eyes, be'd be sobbing. Unfortunately for bim, be still has a functioning throat, and its making stupid wailing sounds and— Oh no be's hugging Peter. Be's even doing the 'shoving bis face in his neck' thing be does when be's really upset, like that one time be ate ate a brownie in the work fridge and broke out into hives from the weed... Who puts weeds into a brownie, anyways??
Oh, Peter's doing the pat on the back thing he does when comforting someone, aughfhhfjehahaufhfjauua. Okay, Roger's feeling... Well, be feels like shit, but at least be's feeling like better shit. This goes on for maybe a minute, possibly even two, before the red phone pulls back, hands still on bis shoulders as he takes a moment to stare at the mess of a friend before him. Roger lets out a gross mix of a sob and interface, the two making a gross, snotty lovechild that sets off firecrackers in urinals, while be lets out a deep breath. This is Peter, be can trust him... "C-Can I tell you t— the pronouns, now?"
He moves his hands down bis shoulders with a light drag of his fingers, landing on Rogers' own as he holds his balled up hands, resting them on top of them. "Yup. And remember, feel free to beat me over the head if I do laugh, alright?"
Roger nods, the sound of all his internal mechanisms going on the fritz from nerves alone managing to punctuate the quick minute action. "A-Alright..."
* * *
Subject: Read this PLEASE!!
From: [email protected]
To: 5 Others
Hello, this is Peter, and I have some very important news to share. As of yesterday, Roger's confided in me and has given full permission for me to disclose this: Roger now goes by be/bim pronouns. Here's the full list of its possible variants. Now, before anyone makes any negative comments on this fact, let me remind you that I do not have any qualms about beating the shit out of somebody I somewhat respect (I have my brother to thank for that), and I can and will punch you if you purposefully misgender bim. Even if I'm not there when it happens, I'll know it did, and act accordingly.
Best regards, Peter
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[email protected]Good for bim, maybe this will be what makes bim tolerable
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[email protected]That's interesting. I'll probably ask bim about it later!!
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[email protected]Congenial tidings! I aspire that be's handling splendid with such modish recuperations, I comprehend if be's hassled.. I covet bim advantageous prosperity!
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[email protected]Im a bit rusty, ill try my best though. Also Everett can you fuck off
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[email protected]Thanks guys [Image Attachment of a potted plant. It has a ':)' poorly edited onto it, despite the fact that (basically) nobody has a human face anymore]
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[email protected]Glad to have helped, Rog'!