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Someone throws a small black animal at the stage and Eddie in a feat of grace and agility he has never shown before or since manages to catch it.
It's a teacup pig, the backstage manager says. Maybe someone in the audience thought the band might pull an Ozzy or sacrifice it or some shit.
Eddie thinks that's about the saddest weirdest thing he's ever heard. Stage manager offers to take it off his hands but they're touring in farm country and Eddie knows what happens to little pigs when they grow up so he decides to keep it.
It's a pig. It's black. It has had a tragic life.
Welcome to Corroded Coffin, Hamlet Munson, band mascot extraordinaire.
Hamlet makes appearances at every stop, Eddie carrying her out like a baby while Gareth sings their new song Pepper Sun/Son. The audience loves it and she seems to enjoy the attention, squealing along with the guitars before being returned to her cozy bed backstage, a repurposed couch cushion and dog kennel dubbed 'Denmark'.
Steve's title evolves from band manager to 'animal wrangler' which encompasses his responsibility for her and the band's well-being combined.
On their days off Steve takes Eddie and Hamlet for walks. Eddie never feels more like a rock star than when he's strolling through an unfamiliar city, his pretty boyfriend on his arm and a black pig on a leash leading the way.
Of course there's really no such thing as a teacup pig and it feels like hardly any time passes before Hamlet is just too big to take on the road. She retires to the house Eddie bought for Wayne and enjoys a life of luxury.
Wayne never considered himself a pet person, closest he ever got to cleaning up after an animal was raising Eddie, but he likes the company. Hamlet's a damned good listener and doesn't back talk.
Steve gives Wayne an understanding nod then laughs and Eddie squawks in mock offense before hauling Hamlet into his arms, nowhere near as easy as it used to be, and carrying her off to the small barn they had built on Wayne's property.
It isnt the first time Eddie has sulked off and the barn has become his clubhouse in a sense. He keeps an acoustic and some snacks out there and the two spend a peaceful afternoon.
Eventually Eddie and Hamlet are coaxed back to the house with a beer and some raspberries respectively.
Later that night, sitting around the firepit with Hamlet at his feet and Steve dozing beside him Eddie doesn't feel like a rockstar, just a regular guy. But he's so damned happy.