Work Text:
It was a dark Thursday evening, Qiu and Roxanne were walking to the park together after school and talking about events that happened today. Qiu gently reaches out for Roxy's arm and holds onto it like usual, bringing them even closer. They look at each other for a while with soft smiles on their faces, feelings of contentment and tranquility filling their hearts. The pair never told each other, but they knew they'd be stuck together forever, no matter what happened.
"So, how were your classes without me today?" She says as they stroll on the sidewalk, but notices that Qiu is closer to the road than she is. "Wait, move aside." Roxy says before removing their hand on her arm. They switch their locations, with Roxanne being on the side closer to the road now.
"Oh, thanks. I can always trust you." Qiu shows her a genuine grin and grabs her arm again, leaning into her even more as their cheeks slightly redden at the chivalrous gesture. "School's just as dreadful as usual." They shrug, not really showing any interest in the topic. "What about you?"
Roxy shrugs as well, replying blankly. "Not much, really. School is either boring or terrible, today was boring." She adds onto her words and smiles a bit. "But I'm glad you're with me, you make things less tiring."
The two stop their tracks when they finally reach the park, but continue to walk to the nearest bench so that they could both take a seat.
"Do you remember the first time I went here with you?" Roxanne asks, both of them finally getting to rest their feet once they sit down. "I got distracted and crashed while on my skateboard, it was embarrassing." Roxy and Qiu chuckle, but her words are followed with ones of sincerity.
"When you treated my wound, it felt like I had someone who truly accepted me." She smiles sincerely, her heart warming at the thought. "I'm thankful I met you, Toffee."
"Yeah, you were the only one who made sure I'd get what I want too. For the first time, I had someone who made me feel that I mattered. Thank you for looking out for me." Qiu went silent afterwards, not knowing what to say but they wordlessly smiled, sharing the mutual sentiment.
"I'm also glad I met Tammy, Ren, and even Baxter. Although, I don't know where Baxter has gone off to; I hope I never see him again, he hates my guts." Roxanne's response elicits a slap on the arm from Qiu, "Hey! What was that for?" She rubs her arm to soothe the pain of Qiu's hit, and jokingly pouts.
"Baxter's still my friend—even if I haven't talked to him in a long while." Qiu says, crossing their arms. Roxy just rolls her eyes. "Whatever, Qiu."
However, they both can't help but chuckle at each other's antics as Roxanne scooches closer to her friend, causing the sides of their legs to touch each other. Nobody dared to move away or pull themselves back, they were just basking in each other's warmth.
"Things have changed since then." Qiu says, "I'm letting all this gender stuff taking over my life, you're cool for having it figured out."
Roxy smiles and reaches over to pat her friend's head, Qiu doesn't even fight it anymore and just smiles at the gesture. "You're even cooler, Toffee. It must be freeing to not let labels define you."
Qiu's smile fades, removing Roxanne's hand from their hand gently. She mirrors their actions, wondering what the sudden change of demeanor was for.
"I should go home now." They chuckle, and Roxy raises an eyebrow. "Qiu, what's wrong?" She says, her facial expression turning from concerned to anxious.
They shrug, but try to give her a forced smile. Roxanne could easily see through that, but that didn't matter to them. "Don't worry about it, you should stay here first." Qiu walks off, and her eyes widen.
"Qiu..." Roxy stands up, but feels too weak to chase after them.
━━━━━━━━━━━━
The next day was the same. When she visited their house, Mrs. Lin said Qiu arrived to school first. It was weird having them go to the school they dread so much at such an early time.
Even with the classes they were in together, and even at lunch, Qiu didn't approach her; they went to the people who also wanted them around. Autumn's popularity was more of a disadvantage than a benefit for Roxanne.
After class, Qiu is also nowhere to be found. They'd usually be waiting for her extra period to finish by then. She didn't know what to do with the lack of Qiu in her day. She must've done something from for them to be so avoidant.
"I should apologize to them even though I don't know what I did wrong." She says, walking to the park again. Although, she does a double take when she notices the person she's spent all day thinking about in the distance. Roxy rubs her eyes, but it really was Qiu in the distance.
"Qiu?"
They turn back to her and she offers a friendly wave, but they don't say anything. They continue walking to the park and she follows along.
"Are you headed this way too?" Roxanne asks, Qiu nods. When they reach the park, she realizes that she can't keep beating around the bush anymore especially when it starts raining heavily.
"Did I do or say anything wrong yesterday?" She asks, her voice weak and filled with worry.
"Roxanne. Are you seriously asking me that?" They say, their initial facade of detachment melting away into nothing but anger when they turn back to face her. Roxy's smile fades, and her expression becomes fearful. "Qiu, I'm sorry... I don't understand."
They exhale, moving away from their best friend. "That's exactly the problem, Roxy. It's not ideal for me to not know what I am. It's not freeing, it's trapping me. It's killing me." Qiu replies weakly, and she frowns.
"Qiu... I understand, I shouldn't have said that. I'm really sorry." She says, sighing. "You don't understand at all, Roxy. You have everything figured out, everything in control. I act like a smartass but I'm really stupid for having something as basic as my gender not figured out." Qiu frowns, and Roxy wraps her arm around them to wordlessly say that she'll be there for them.
"You're not an idiot at all, Toffee." Roxy states sincerely, trying to reassure her friend. Qiu looks away, and they visibly scowl because of the uncertainty continuing to fill their mind.
"I'm sorry, I'm just trying to make you feel better." Roxy gives them a broken smile, and moves her arm wrapped around them, patting their back instead, but Qiu removes her hand. "You should stop trying, Roxanne. Nothing that comes out of your mouth will help me at all." They reply sternly, and Roxanne's forced smile fades, turning into an expression of abhorrence.
"Qiu, are you serious?" She raises an eyebrow, pushes them away and stands up from her seat. They do the same, replying even more angrily and sarcastically. "No! I'm totally joking! Damn it, Roxanne. You can be an idiot sometimes."
"Oh my God, Qiu. I'm really sorry for being insensitive and saying what I said last time, but you can't talk to me that way after all the times I've put up with your crap! I'm so fucking tired of having to chase after you when you push me away, having to drag you around with me, having to do everything just so that you can stay! Have you ever done anything like that for me?!" She shouts.
"And I'm tired of having you push me around all day! I'm not your friend, Roxy. I'm my own person! Nobody asked you to do these things for me!" Autumn shouts back coldly, and Roxy's anger explodes at that moment.
"I DID THESE THINGS BECAUSE I CARE ABOUT YOU! WHY CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?!"
Their anger slightly fades when she says this.
"Why do you even care about me?" Qiu replies, their morose tone becoming more fragile.
"Because you're my best friend, Toffee. You were the first person I could call my friend..." Roxy responds, her voice becomes shakier as well. "How can I stop caring about you?"
"Every time you do crap that hurts you—it drives me insane! It hurts me more than it hurts you!" She retorts, Roxanne's vision becomes blurry with tears and her frown widens.
"I'm in love with you, and it's killing me, Qiu. Tell me, how am I supposed to stop caring about you? To stop wanting you to be happy? To stop wanting to be by your side?" More tears fall down her eyes, and Qiu looks at her in shock. That's the first time they've ever seen her cry.
The rain mirrors the pair's current emotions right now: guilt, heartache, and anger. The current situation they were in was so painful, to the point that they didn't care about the fact that they were getting drenched under the rainstorm.
"I- I'm sorry, Rox..." Qiu looks at her, moving closer to Roxy. "I shouldn't have said that. I really am an idiot for treating you like that, especially since I feel the same way."
The pair already knew the feelings were mutual—but this was the first time someone actually expressed it—said it out loud. Qiu reaches out to hug her, and her arms are limp. Roxanne doesn't hug them back, but cries on their shoulder as Qiu strokes her back.
"Toffee..." She says weakly, wiping away a few tears. "May I kiss you?"
Qiu pulls away, placing their hands behind her neck instead.
"Of course."
Carefully, Roxy reaches out to hold Qiu's waist and nuzzle her nose against theirs. They both giggle before Roxy tilts her head but Qiu moves forward, catching her off guard.
The pair closes their eyes to savor the moment, the rain making the scene even more romantic. It was as if a heavy weight on their shoulders was lifted, they were both able to say how they feel verbally rather than relying on implications or flirty hints. Their cheeks reddened, it was both their first kisses.
Roxy felt a surge of fervor, the person who always looked out for her is the same one who's in her arms right now. Every moment they spent together, every fight they had, and every happy memory they had all led to this.
Qiu shared the same sentiment, the woman who protected and comforted them is the same one who gave them their first kiss. No matter what happened, they wouldn't trade this moment for anything else in the world.
Gently, Roxanne pulls away and chuckles at the butterflies in her stomach. Sure, the two felt love for each other, but that doesn't take away from how unexpected the moment was.
"I like... No, I love you too." Qiu giggles sweetly, and they nuzzle their nose against Roxy's. "I always knew you felt that way for me, but hearing you say it out loud is different. I'm sorry for taking your efforts for granted."
"Thanks for putting up with my crap and whatever else you had to deal with because of me." They breathe in, before continuing their words. "I should be repaying the favor sometime."
Roxanne nods before replying, "It's no problem at all. Now that I've said it out loud, it feels like a weight was lifted off me. Although I'm still sorry for what I said—I hope you know that I'll be with you throughout your complicated journey; you can't get rid of me now." She smirks before tucking Qiu's hair behind their ear, they blush even more at the gesture. "I'm with you, remember?"
"Yep, I do. I'll make sure to keep on taking care of you and continuing to treat your unhealed scars, Rox." They smile even wider before Roxy leans forward to place a kiss on their forehead, then a brief kiss on their lips. They both giggle yet again, hearts beating faster but still remaining in sync.
"Mhm... I'll make sure to keep protecting you, Toffee."
Art by Xue Wu on Facebook!