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‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐 1 𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅
Poe ran down the street, trying not to lose sight of the raccoon that was weaving through the crowd of people again. He shoved his way through the crowd, not caring if he was bumping into people. "Karl! Karl, come back!"
If Karl heard him, he didn't respond. He was on a mission. The raccoon turned a corner, and Poe recognized the street they turned onto. It was the street the agency was on—strange that Karl would run here of all places. He didn't stop to question it, though, because Karl was running in through the door to the cafe below the agency as a man was leaving. Thankfully, he didn't step on Karl, but he still wished he hadn't opened the door. God, how hard was it to just not get in Poe's way?
The door swung shut, trapping Karl inside the cafe. Great. Poe ran after him, but by the time he was in the cafe, Karl was gone. He hurried through the cafe, hoping to catch Karl on the other side of the door, but he was already halfway up the stairs. Seriously, how does he move so fast? Poe thought as he rushed up the stairs. When he got to the top, he found the weretiger holding Karl in his arms.
"Ah, Nakajima. Thank you." Poe walked forward eagerly, taking the raccoon into his arms.
"Oh, it was no problem!" Nakajima scratched the back of his neck. "Soo... wha—"
"Poe!" Ranpo called from inside the office. "Come entertain me! There aren't any interesting cases today." Poe moved past Nakajima, apologizing quietly for cutting the conversation short as Nakajima muttered something about the cases being interesting if you actually read past the first two lines of information.
Poe stopped in front of Ranpo’s desk and placed a book on it. He was glad he’d been holding it when Karl ran out. Otherwise, he would have missed the opportunity to show it to Ranpo. He couldn't wait to see the look of utter defeat on Ranpo’s face when he couldn’t figure out who did it! “I finished this last night, if you’d like to read it. This one will stump you for sure!”
“Doubt it!” Ranpo quipped, but picked up the book and opened it to the first page regardless. Poe stood off to the side, eagerly watching Ranpo’s face for some sort of reaction. Surely, this one would stump him.
Minutes passed, and Ranpo’s facial expression never changed, except when he paused to grab a new candy to eat. “Um, Ranpo, sir?” A voice asked from right beside Poe, startling him so badly he nearly dropped Karl. Once he recovered, he looked to see who had spoken. It was the weretiger—Nakajima was his name, if Poe remembered correctly. “Could you help me with this case?” Poe looked back to Ranpo, who was still ignoring Nakajima. He supposed he should just be happy that Ranpo seemed so enthralled in his novel, but he did feel bad for the boy.
“I can take a look if you’d like.” Poe offered. Besides, if Ranpo could figure it out, Poe should be able to as well.
“Oh, I’m not sure if that’s allowed…” Nakajima started, then trailed off, glancing around. The office was empty except for the three of them. “Well, I suppose, since Ranpo isn’t saying anything, it’s probably fine.” Poe followed Nakajima back to his desk as he spoke, Karl climbing onto his head as they walked. He explained the details of the case, showing Poe the few photos he had. Poe had to give it to the weretiger; it was a hard case—not hard enough to stump him, of course, but still plenty difficult.
Poe explained what was obvious to a master detective like himself or Ranpo, pointing out where the holes in the witness’s story overlapped. He felt a small spark of pride when Nakajima’s face lit up with understanding. “Oh! So it was the florist! She’s doing it for the insurance claim.”
“Exactly. It’s simple enough if you just look at all the facts.” Poe nodded along, prompting Karl to climb back onto his shoulder, chittering unhappily in his ear. “So, what’s your next step?” Poe asked, moving closer to Nakajima. Karl climbed from his shoulder onto the weretiger, who tensed, eyeing the raccoon with caution before seemingly accepting his fate.
“Well, as of now, this is all circumstantial evidence,” Nakajima said, thinking out loud. “I need to get a confession or find more concrete proof.” He reached up and pet Karl as he spoke. Poe was about to warn him that Karl sometimes bit people, but the raccoon was leaning into Nakajima’s hand, so he figured it would be okay.
‧₊˚ ⋅ ‧₊˚ ⋅
Poe followed Nakajima back into the cafe below the agency. They’d gone to the florist, and it hadn’t taken much to trick the florist into confessing. The weretiger was definitely not on the same level as himself or Ranpo, but he was a decent enough detective.
“Ah, good, you’re back!” Ranpo greeted, spinning on one of the stools at the bar top. “I was just about to order dessert. Come join me!”
“But I need to get this to Kunikida,” Nakajima said, holding up the file.
Ranpo waved him off. “Don’t worry about it. Dazai got his hands on some new mushrooms, so Kunikida will be distracted with that for a while.”
Poe expected Nakajima to react with concern at the news, but he just sighed and sat next to Ranpo. “Where does he keep finding them?” He groaned. Poe supposed this must be a fairly normal occurrence at the agency, given how they were treating it so casually.
“He picks them himself. Or he buys them off shady websites online.” Ranpo shrugged, then lit up as the waitress brought out three desserts. Poe had assumed they were all for Ranpo, so he was pleasantly surprised when one was placed in front of him and another in front of Nakajima.
“Thank you, Ranpo!” Nakajima said, digging into his dessert without delay.
“Thank Poe, he’s paying,” Ranpo laughed.
Poe blinked at the words. “I’m what?”
“Don’t act so surprised, Ed,” Ranpo said with a grin. “You were going to offer to buy Atsushi dessert anyway. I just cut out the boring steps in between.” Poe was so surprised by the nickname that he nearly missed the second half of Ranpo’s statement. In America, he wouldn’t have thought twice about it, but here, he hadn’t even thought he was on a first-name basis with Ranpo, let alone close enough to be making nicknames from his first name.
As if on a delay, his mind finally caught up with the rest of Ranpo’s sentence. He was planning on buying Nakajima food, and he really shouldn’t be surprised Ranpo had deduced that. He sighed.
“Ranpo! You can’t just offer me food from someone else!” Nakajima scolded.
“No, it’s okay. He’s right that I was going to get you something to eat anyway,” Poe sighed again. “Did Ranpo at least order you something that you enjoy?” He asked, already guessing the answer. The dessert that had been placed in front of him was one of his favorites, so it was safe to assume that Nakajima would be having a similar experience.
Sure enough, Nakajima nodded eagerly. “Dazai introduced it to me on my first day at the agency, and since then, I’ve been a little obsessed with it,” He said, scratching the back of his neck.
Poe nodded. It made sense that Ranpo would have known that. Even a common fool would have been able to guess Nakajima’s favorite dessert if they’d seen him order it that often. He hated to admit that he was slightly impressed that Ranpo had managed to guess his correctly. He hadn’t had it once since being in Japan, so there was no way Ranpo could have stumbled across him eating it.
Then again, Lucy worked at the cafe, so there was always the possibility that she told him. He took a bite of the dessert, savoring the rare treat. He’d decipher how Ranpo figured it out on a later occasion.
“What’s America like?” Nakajima asked, wiping some chocolate from his lips.
Poe didn’t respond at first, not realizing Nakajima was talking to him. Then he realized he was the only one from America at the table, so clearly, he wouldn’t be speaking to anyone else. “Oh, uh, it’s a lot louder there. And the streets are dirtier, I guess.” He thought back, trying to think of other things to say. “The food is very different, too.”
“Do you miss it?” Nakajima asked.
Poe thought about that. Did he? It wasn’t as if he had any friends he’d left behind. The few people he socialized with were also here, and he still had Karl, which didn’t leave much to miss in America.
“I suppose I missed my bed at first. I’m not the fondest of futons, but that didn’t take much to fix. I simply ordered a western-style bed for myself here,” He said with a shrug. He also missed not having to mentally translate everything, but the longer he stayed in Japan, the easier that was becoming, so he didn’t mention it.
“I’ve never slept in a western-style bed,” Nakajima commented, “So I don’t know which one I’d prefer.”
Poe nodded, then froze slightly. Now was when he was supposed to ask a question, right? To keep the conversation flowing. He tried to think of something related to the current topic to ask about, but came up blank. “Uh, do you like working at the Agency?” He asked, figuring that was probably a safe enough question to ask.
“I do. I really didn’t want to work here at first, but when Dazai has his mind set on something, there isn’t much you can do about it,” He sighed, scratching the back of his neck. “But I’ve really grown to like it. And I’ve learned a lot.”
“That’s good,” Poe said, a bit awkwardly.
Nakajima smiled. “Yeah, what about you?” He asked, right as Poe took a bite of his dessert. “Do you like working with the Guild?”
Poe frantically tried to chew his food, internally dying at each second of silence that lapsed until he swallowed. “It’s okay,” He shrugged. “It pays well and I rarely have to socialize with people unless I choose to, which is definitely a perk.”
Nakajima opened his mouth to reply, but Ranpo spoke before he could. “Ed! I’m bored. Small talk is so predictable,” He complained. “Let’s go see if Minoura has any exciting cases I can steal!”
Poe blinked, then nodded. “Of course. Just let me pay,” He said, passing his card to the waitress and waiting for her to swipe the card and pass it back. “Have a good day, Nakajima,” He said, sliding his card back into his wallet.
“You too. And call me Atsushi. Everyone does.” Atsushi smiled, waving as Ranpo dragged Poe from the cafe.
‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐 2 𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅
A loud cawing noise startled Poe so badly that he nearly slammed his head on the counter. He’d been crouching below it to feed Karl his dinner and wasn’t expecting the loud noise. At first, he thought there must be something at his window lattice, but once he realized it was just his ringtone, he settled down a little, but his heart was still pounding. He really needed to change his ringtone to something less jarring. More caws rang out, causing him to jump again. Right! He still needed to answer the phone.
“Hello…” Poe practically whispered into the phone.
“Ed! Yay, you answered!” Ranpo’s voice rang through the phone. Loudly. Poe moved the phone away from his ear slightly before responding.
“Uh, yes, Ranpo. What did you need?” Poe wondered what he could be calling about. Was he wanting to challenge him to a battle of wits? Maybe his latest novel had finally stumped him!
“Trains are stupid! How am I supposed to try this super tasty new restaurant if it’s all the way in Tokyo? Don’t they know that’s bad advertising?” Poe listened to Ranpo’s rant, slightly confused, but he got the general idea.
“What’s the place called?”
“Ginza Kitafuku.”
Poe nodded. He’d heard of it but had never been. It wouldn’t hurt to try, for sure. Ranpo was right, though; it was far from the agency. And it would require multiple train changes. Even if Poe explained how to get there, Ranpo would surely get lost. That only left him with one option. Besides, driving would be much more convenient anyway.
“I suppose I could take you?” Poe offered, but it came out as more of a question.
“Excellent! I’ll be waiting for you to pick me up from the agency at 7:00!”
Poe glanced at the clock. 6:23
Shit
Poe scrambled to get ready. He thought about calling the restaurant to make a reservation—the waitlist for Ginza Kitafuku was infamous—but he really didn’t want to make a phone call. He could always just bribe the hostess into moving them to the top of the list.
By some miracle, Poe made it to the Agency at 6:57. Ranpo was, in fact, waiting for him, and instead of his usual outfit, he was wearing a well-tailored brown suit. Poe didn’t think he’d ever seen the other dressed up like this, but he certainly wasn’t complaining. He obviously only cared because if they needed to fight each other, Ranpo would be at a disadvantage due to his unfamiliarity with the constricting confines of his clothes.
Poe escorted Ranpo out to his car. Together, they slid into the backseat, and the driver wordlessly pulled off the curb, merging into the flow of traffic. As soon as they were both seated, Karl jumped from Poe’s shoulder onto Ranpo’s lap—the traitor. Poe glanced at Ranpo. The car felt much smaller with the two of them in it. Perhaps hiring a driver had been a bad call. If Poe were driving, he would at least have the excuse of needing to focus on the road. Instead, he was stuck being unsure where to look. It didn’t help that Ranpo was practically staring into his soul with his bright green, beautiful eyes.
“So, uh, you solve any new cases recently?” Poe asked, trying not to squirm under the other man’s gaze. He was looking at him as if he were some case he couldn’t quite solve. But that didn’t make sense; Ranpo could solve any case easily.
“Eh, not really. It’s all the same boring stuff. Akiko and I do have a fun bet going on right now.” Ranpo grinned, scratching behind Karl’s ears. “I’ll obviously win. It was stupid to bet against me, but she likes a challenge.”
Poe couldn’t help but agree. He didn’t know why anyone in the right mind would bet against Ranpo—unless they were betting on him, of course. Then, he was clearly the person who would win.
The conversation flowed easily for the rest of the drive, and, too soon for Poe’s liking, they were pulling up to the front of the restaurant. They exited the car together and walked in through the front door. Sure enough, the place was packed with a few groups waiting in the lobby. A hostess greeted them when they arrived.
“Hello, what’s the name on your reserva—is that a raccoon?” Her composure cracked as she looked at the raccoon that was perched on Ranpo’s shoulder. “Um, sir, pets are not allowed.”
“We don’t have a reservation, and I’m sure Karl is fine,” Poe said as he pulled some cash from his wallet. It wasn’t a lot, but it was probably more than the hostess made in a year, so it should be a sufficient bribe. “I was hoping we could get one for now.”
The hostess gaped at the money for a moment before regaining her composure. She pocketed the money and made a few notes on the sheet in front of her. “Okay, if you’ll remove your shoes, I’ll escort you to your table.” She said, directing them to a space to store their shoes.
The two men slipped off their shoes, then turned to the hostess, who escorted them to a section of the restaurant that looked even fancier than the rest and sat them at a table in the corner. The table was low to the ground, and there was a cooking station attached where the chef would prepare their food. Poe sat on a cushion on the floor, opened his menu, and began to read through it when he heard a voice.
“Ranpo! What are you doing here?” Poe glanced at the table next to them. It was Dazai. Poe tried not to glare too much. Why were Ranpo’s coworkers everywhere? He couldn’t go anywhere without bumping into one of them.
“I made Ed bring me here,” Ranpo shrugged. That wasn’t exactly true; Poe had offered to come of his own volition. He was just helping lure Ranpo into a false sense of security around him. Then, he could use that to finally show him that he was the ultimate detective. It wasn’t for anything else.
“Sounds familiar,” Nakahara mumbled, bringing his glass of sake to his lips. Poe startled slightly. He hadn’t even realized the other man was there—he really needed to start being more aware of his surroundings; that was unbecoming for the world’s greatest detective.
“Chuuya! How rude! You’re the one who suggested we come here!”
“Only because I know your meddling when I see it. You weren’t even subtle this time. A newspaper happened to accidentally end up on our doorstep with news about the grand opening. I’m sure that was just a coincidence.”
“Exactly! The mailman must have gotten his doors mixed up. Quite unprofessional of him!”
“And the ink smudge that was on today’s date on my calendar?”
“Chuuya must have spilled some ink! I had nothing to do with that,” Dazai hummed innocently. Nakahara was trying to look annoyed, but it didn’t reach his eyes.
“Mhm, I’m sure that’s what it was.” Nakahara nodded.
Poe had to admit that it was clever of Dazai. Tricking his rival into taking him to dinner was a genius move. Nakahara gave Poe a knowing look, like he knew Poe would relate. But that’s not what Ranpo was doing. This was completely different. Ranpo would not be able to deceive him that easily.
Before Poe could tell Nakahara that, the waiter walked up to the table to take their drink orders. Ranpo ordered a sugary drink that would probably give him a cavity after one sip. Poe just got water.
“Is Ranpo a fan of crab as well?” Nakahara asked, eating one of the hors d'oeuvres on his table.
“Crab?” Poe asked. He hadn’t heard much about the restaurant aside from it being one of the most expensive Michelin Star restaurants.
Dazai nodded. “The main dishes are all crab,” He beamed. “Can you imagine a more perfect restaurant? It’s supposed to be the best crab you’ve ever tasted, with the cheapest being ¥40,000. Naturally, since Chibi is paying, I’ll be getting the Echizen Crab.”
Poe glanced at the menu, finding the one Dazai was referring to. He supposed, to someone with Dazai’s salary, a mere ¥300,000 would seem like an incredible amount. And, he would give it to him, even if it was more than he would typically see for a meal. Still, he could buy that for Ranpo for every meal and still not notice a dent in his account.
“Is that the one you’ll be wanting?” Poe asked Ranpo, who was still reading over the menu.
“Yep!” Ranpo said, a bit too loudly for restaurant etiquette. Poe shrank down on his cushion slightly, feeling the eyes of some of the other guests on them. “It’s the only one that didn’t mention being savory. Hopefully, that means it’s sweet.” He hummed.
Poe didn’t know how to tell him that he doubted the crab would be sweet, so he stayed quiet. Hopefully, the dessert that was included in the meal would satisfy Ranpo’s sweet tooth enough that he’d still enjoy the meal.
Only because, if he enjoyed it, he would probably be lulled into a sense of security, and it would be easier to beat him in a fight, of course.
‧₊˚ ⋅ ‧₊˚ ⋅
The dinner went smoothly, even if more time than he’d have preferred was spent talking to Dazai and Nakahara. He supposed it wasn’t all bad. Nakahara had even seemed interested in one of his novels.
Poe glanced over at Ranpo, who was sitting next to him in the car, fast asleep, leaning against Poe’s arm. They had entered Yokohama a few minutes ago, and Ranpo showed no sign of waking.
He knew he should take Ranpo home, but trying to carry the other man up the multiple flights of stairs to get to his apartment was something beyond his physical capabilities. It would be much easier to take him back to his own place. It was closer than the agency dorms anyway. It only made sense.
Not long later, the car slowed to a stop in front of Poe’s apartment. He nudged Ranpo a final time, unsurprised when the other man didn’t wake. He got out of the car, carefully pulling Ranpo into his arms and nudging the car door shut with his foot. Getting into his apartment was a much more difficult endeavor, but he managed to get the door unlocked and open before too long. He carried Ranpo to his bed—not wanting to face his complaining if he made him sleep on the couch and it caused his back to hurt—then returned to the front door to lock it.
He returned to the bedroom, planning to change into his pajamas, then sleep on the couch. When he’d finished changing, he moved over to the bed, pulling the covers over Ranpo. He went to straighten up, but found Ranpo’s arms around him, tugging him down. “It’s cold.” He complained.
“I can turn up the temperature,” Poe offered, trying to straighten back up. Ranpo groaned and tugged harder, making Poe lose his balance and fall onto the bed next to him.
Poe tried to get up, not wanting Ranpo to be upset if they woke up in bed together, when he felt a pair of soft lips against his. His eyes widened, and he froze, his brain short-circuiting as he tried to process the fact that Ranpo had just kissed him.
Ranpo used his distraction to pull the covers over Poe as well, pressing closer as their lips stayed connected before pulling back and resting his head on Poe’s shoulder instead.
“Good night,” He hummed, closing his eyes and quickly drifting off to sleep, leaving Poe to try to come to terms with what just happened.
Slowly, an explanation dawned on him. Of course. That had just been a strategy to get Poe to do what Ranpo wanted him to. It was ingenious, really, and obviously quite effective. Poe would have to try it out on Ranpo some other time.
‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐 3 𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅
Poe rolled over in bed, frowning when he didn’t feel Ranpo lying next to him. He usually woke up when Ranpo did, if not from feeling the bed shift, then from how loud Ranpo was while getting ready. It was unlike him to be so careful when leaving in the morning. Poe frowned. While he would never complain about getting more sleep, he enjoyed his morning routine with Ranpo. He sat up, and his back popped, reminding him why they usually spent the night at his place instead of Ranpo’s. Ranpo’s futon was okay, but nothing matched the comfort of Poe’s own bed. Karl chattered unhappily when the futon shifted, so Poe scratched behind his ears.
He stood up and walked to the kitchen, his jaw dropping when he saw the state of it. Clearly, Karl had been busy in the time since Ranpo had left. All the cupboards were open, and what were once dishes were shattered all over the floor. The plastic dishware was chewed up and left on the ground amidst the shards of ceramic. Karl ran by innocently, climbing his way onto Poe’s shoulder. He sighed, trying to ignore the urge to throttle Karl. He was just upset at the new environment. That was all. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed one last time before grabbing a broom and starting to sweep the mess. He would have to buy Ranpo new dishes later.
‧₊˚ ⋅ ‧₊˚ ⋅
Poe looked around at the clean and newly extremely sparse kitchen. His stomach growled, making him painfully aware of how long it had taken to find and clean up all the shards of the broken dishes. He opened the fridge to look for something to eat, but was instead met with a familiar bento box—Ranpo’s bento box. Poe had made it for him last night and reminded him a dozen times not to forget it. He grabbed it from the fridge and sighed. He really shouldn’t be surprised. Ranpo was a genius, until it came to simple things like public transportation and remembering his lunches.
Poe didn’t mind bringing it to him. He would already need to go into town to replace the dishes Karl had destroyed, and since they were at Ranpo’s place, the agency wasn’t far. Maybe he could pick something up on the way and eat it with Ranpo.
With a plan in mind, he returned to Ranpo’s room to get ready for the day, exiting the apartment around thirty minutes later with Karl on his shoulder. He made his way through the streets, heading to the Agency, keeping an eye out for anything that looked good.
A malasada shop caught his eye, and he wandered inside. Poe normally wasn’t one for sweets, but he’d been spending more time with Ranpo lately, and his sweet tooth was rubbing off on him. Anytime Ranpo came over to look over one of Poe’s novels, he insisted Poe ordered in some sort of dessert for them to share as the night got later.
He glanced over the menu, trying to decide what flavor sounded best. Eventually, he just settled on buying one of each. If nothing else, Ranpo would enjoy eating the ones Poe didn’t finish.
With the donuts secured, Poe set off the rest of the way to the agency, passing by Lucy in the cafe before making his way up to the fourth floor. He pushed open the door, bracing for the cacophony that the agency always seemed to have, and was surprised to find it silent, save for the sound of someone typing on a keyboard.
Poe glanced around, looking for Ranpo, but the only one in the room was Kunikida, who glanced up when he entered.
“Ah, Poe,” Kunikida greeted. “If you’re looking for Ranpo, he’s out working on a case right now. Would you like me to pass along a message for him when he returns?”
Poe shook his head, holding up the bento box. “Ranpo forgot his lunch. I was just trying to return it to him, but I can come back later. I need to go buy him new dishes. Karl broke most of the ones he already had.”
Kunikida winced sympathetically. “That is unfortunate, and I imagine, disruptive to your budget. Not many plan for that kind of accident.”
Poe nodded, not exactly sure how to say that he didn’t budget, so he just settled on silence. “Yeah, so I’ll return later.”
“You can leave the food in the fridge here so it doesn’t go bad,” Kunikida suggested. “And if you’d like, I could accompany you to pick out new dishware. I know a good place that has high-quality options at great prices.”
Poe hesitated, wanting to refuse, but not wanting to upset Kunikida. And, if he did accept, it would mean fewer people Poe would actually have to talk to, so maybe it would be nice to have him go.
“Wouldn’t that disrupt your schedule?” Poe asked.
Kunikida shook his head. “I’m already ahead for the day. Osamu had plans with our husband today, and I’m much more productive when he isn’t here.
Poe blinked. He hadn’t realized Kunikda and Dazai were married. And to another person as well, apparently. “‘Our’ husband?” He asked.
Kunikida nodded, standing and gathering the belongings he’d need for their outing. “Chuuya,” He explained. “I thought you knew this. They said they ran into you on their date the other night.”
“That hadn’t been a date? Dazai had tricked Nakahara into taking him.”
“That’s how Osamu plans all our dates,” Kunikida explained, as if it were obvious. Poe decided not to question it.
“I see,” He said, not sure what else to say. “So, where is this store you mentioned?”
Kunikida nodded. “It’s not far. Only a ten-minute walk from here,” He explained, leading Poe first to the fridge so he could drop off Ranpoe’s lunch, then out of the agency and down the street.
“Do you know what type of dishware Ranpo prefers?” Kunikida asked as they entered the store.
Poe shrugged. “I don’t think he has a preference. The dishes he did have weren’t part of any clear set, at least.”
“That makes things easier for us, then,” Kunikida hummed, watching as Poe grabbed the cart, then continuing further into the store next to him. “Let’s start with plates.”
Poe tried to pay attention as Kunikida debated the pros and cons of different materials, discussing how one was more scratch-resistant than another, while also noting how another would be easier to clean. He knew Kunikida was doing him a favor, but he couldn’t stop his mind from noticing how different this experience would have been if he had gone with Ranpo instead of Kunikida.
He wondered what it would be like shopping for household things with him. Ranpo likely wouldn’t care about the quality aspects that Kunikida was so concerned about. Poe smiled, imagining how quickly Ranpo would get bored with everything. He’d probably just want to grab the first ones he saw or find the cheapest ones and call it good. He could practically hear him whining about being hungry and wanting to go back home.
He pictured what a house would look like with both of them living there. It would undoubtedly be a little messy. Ranpo wasn’t one for cleanliness, and Poe wasn’t sloppy, but he often found himself too wrapped up in his latest novel to focus on keeping the space clean. The only reason his apartment was ever clean was that if he left it messy for too long, Karl would start destroying things.
He imagined nights on a couch next to Ranpo, listening as he complained about the stupid people he had to interact with at work that day. Ranpo would be petting Karl while he spoke, and Poe would be working on a new novel that was sure to stump him. It sounded nice.
Naturally, he was only thinking of this to get inside Ranpo’s head so he’d be able to better defeat him in their next battle of wits. To know an enemy is the first step in defeating them, after all.
“Poe?” Kunikida asked, and Poe realized that it hadn’t been the first time he’d said his name. He tried to remember what Kunikida had said, but he came up blank. He was holding two plates, so he was probably asking which ones.
“Uh, that one,” Poe said, pointing to the one in Kunikida’s right hand. He was sure Kunikida had gone on a lengthy explanation about the benefits of both, but Poe didn’t really care that much.
“Good choice. It has the option of coming in a set, so we can get the bowls and cups to match this one as well,” Kunikida suggested. “I don’t think Ranpo cares as much about that, but it doesn’t hurt to have a cohesive household.”
Poe just nodded, letting his mind drift back to thoughts of building a cohesive household with Ranpo and not just for him.
‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐 4 𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅
Poe filled his cart to the brim with sugary snacks. He added a few of Ranpo’s latest favorite candies, not understanding Ranpo's obsession with them. He'd tried one once and thought they were disgusting, but they weren't for him, so it didn't matter. Ranpo had accompanied him while he'd been shopping the previous day and complained loudly when they'd passed the snack aisle about all the brands of snacks he was out of or running low on.
Naturally, Poe had to get them for him. It was a measly sum—less than pocket change, and if he beat Ranpo when he was distracted by a loss of snacks, it wouldn't count! He needed to beat Ranpo at his absolute best.
To be honest, though, Poe already knew he was running low on snacks. He kept a detailed account of whenever Ranpo got new snacks and what snacks he'd eaten that day. He also had a running list of whatever snack was currently Ranpo's favorite. It was only natural to track everything he possibly could about his rival. How else would he learn how to beat him in a battle of wits?
And! If he brought the snacks to Ranpo at the agency, it would give him an opportunity to show off his newest novel! This one would surely stump Ranpo. Poe had stayed up for two nights straight, working on it and making sure every detail was perfect.
That was the only reason he was waiting in line to check out with a cart full of Ranpo's favorite snacks. Karl chattered in his ear, obviously agreeing with Poe's train of thought. He reached up to scratch the raccoon's head.
He got to the front of the line, ignoring the odd look the cashier was giving him. They never knew what to make of Karl, and Poe enjoyed the reactions more than he cared to admit. The cashier continued to send worried glances towards Karl as she scanned his items. Poe ignored her, instead thinking of new ideas to stump his dear Ranpo.
"¥57,698 is your total. Will that be cash or card?" Poe swiped his card right as she asked the question. He froze slightly, unsure if he should answer still, even though he had already paid by that point. He crouched in on himself awkwardly and picked up his bags, wanting to get out of the interaction as fast as possible. They were heavier than he'd been anticipating, so he was glad he picked a store near the agency. Karl switched shoulders as Poe adjusted the bags so they fit comfortably in his arms.
Once Karl was settled, Poe left the store and began walking towards the agency. It was just down the street, so he didn't have to go far. The waitress at the cafe below the agency cooed at Karl as Poe walked through on his way up.
He paused outside the door to the Agency. He could hear yelling coming from it, but that wasn't unusual. This time, it sounded like Kunikida yelling at Dazai. That seemed to be the case most of the time when Poe was here. He eased the door open, poking his head through before anything else. He glanced around but didn't see anyone looking his way, so he entered the rest of the way in.
"Oh, Ranpo!" Poe whispered, glancing over to Ranpo's desk. Ranpo was leaning back in his chair with his feet propped on the desk. He appeared to be sleeping. Maybe Poe should come back later. He couldn't defeat Ranpo in a fair battle of wits if he were tired from lack of sleep. Just as he was about to close the door again, Ranpo cracked one eye open and locked eyes with Poe. He tilted his head slightly, signaling for Poe to enter. He scurried through the room, trying to avoid the notice of the rest of the agency members. They could be... a lot.
"Oooh, good, you got my favorites. Hand 'em over!" Ranpo said before he could even see the contents of the bags. Poe wasn't surprised. This was his greatest rival, after all. He would obviously be able to deduce what snacks Poe had bought.
Poe reached into the bag and handed over Ranpo's favorite snack. He'd made sure to get extra because Ranpo had been going through them much quicker than usual lately.
Ranpo eagerly snatched the treat from Poe's hand as soon as it left the bag. "Put the rest in my drawer for me," he hummed around a mouthful of the much too sugary snack.
Poe did as he was instructed, then stood awkwardly to the side as Ranpo lounged at his desk. He was never sure what to do once he got to this point.
"Oh, hey, Poe!" Atsushi waved from where he was sitting at his desk. Kunikida and Dazai were still fighting, but Atsushi was pointedly ignoring them. "You know you don't have to keep buying Ranpo snacks, right?"
"Oh, I don't mind. It was only a mere ¥57,000. It's worth it to make sure Ranpo is in high spirits." Atsushi was gaping at him, and he didn't know why; it wasn't like he'd spent ¥57,000,000—although he could. Honestly, everyone always overreacted when it came to money.
"Oh- um, yeah," Atsushi stammered. "Well, anyways, have you started writing a new novel recently?"
Poe perked up at that. He loved talking about his novels—it wouldn't be as fun talking about them to Atsushi as it was to Ranpo, but he would take it. It would be interesting to see how long it took the weretiger to solve the mystery, and it wouldn't hurt to have someone who wasn't a super genius try to see if it was challenging enough.
“As a matter of fact, I have! This one takes place on a farm,” He hummed, pulling out his novel and passing it to Atsushi.
Kenji popped up. “Ooh, a farm? I didn’t know fancy city folk knew about farm life,” He said, smiling warmly.
“I must admit, I’m not too familiar with it, so there may be some inaccuracies,” Poe sighed. “I did some research online, but it’s hard to get a proper grasp of it without talking to someone directly.” But of course, Poe would rather die than reach out to someone to speak to about it. Although if it meant adding just the right detail to stump Ranpo, then perhaps it would be worth it.
“I could give it a read and help with whatever information you need,” Kenji offered, leaning closer. “It’s always interesting to see the other ways people think life on the farm is like.”
That would definitely help with the accuracy of the novel. And it meant he didn’t have to actually reach out to someone he didn’t know. “If you don’t mind,” Poe nodded, gesturing for Atsushi to give the book to Kenji. “Feel free to write whatever notes you have in the margins. This is just a rough draft after all.”
Kenji took the book and began reading it, occasionally jotting something down in the margins. Poe resisted the urge to grab the book from him each time to see what he wrote. No matter how many times he shared his work, having people critique it was always a stressful experience.
Ranpo scoffed, and Poe blinked. He hadn’t even noticed him move, too focused on what Kenji might be writing. “Obviously, Ed knows how to do that. He’ll explain it in more detail in three pages.”
Poe blinked again. Ranpo hadn’t even read this one yet. He shouldn’t be surprised that he could deduce that accurately, but it was still impressive.
Sure enough, in three pages, Kenji’s eyes lit up. “You were right, Ranpo! That sure is impressive.”
Ranpo shrugged him off, continuing to read the page. Kenji made another small note, but this time, Ranpo nodded approvingly. Poe was glad this one was more of a novella than an actual novel, because watching them both read and edit it was much more nerve-racking than he’d expected it to be. He’d given Ranpo his books to critique before, so he didn’t know why this one felt so different.
About two hours later, they finally finished. “That was really good, Mr. Poe,” Kenji complimented, handing back the book. “There were a few technical things that we do differently on the farm, but you did a great job with it!”
Poe straightened up a bit, proudly. “Thank you. I appreciate you taking the time to give your feedback,” He said, glancing over at Ranpo to see what he thought of it, then wilting a little when Ranpo seemed uninterested, more focused on opening another one of his snacks.
“Hey Ed, let’s go home. I’m bored,” He complained, grabbing a few more snacks from the road.
Poe nodded, walking with Ranpo out onto the street. Once they were out of the agency, Ranpo linked their arms together. “I liked that one,” He said after a few minutes.
It took Poe a few seconds to realize he was talking about Poe’s story. “You did?”
Ranpo nodded. “Don’t get me wrong, I figured out who did it in the first chapter, but it was still an interesting read. I’m proud to call you my rival.”
‧₊˚ ⋅ 𓐐 +1 𓎩 ‧₊˚ ⋅
Poe stared at his phone in awe. He couldn't believe this was actually happening.
Come to the agency
Ranpo had actually invited him to the agency! This was a momentous occasion! He probably wanted to read Poe's newest novel! He must have deduced that this one would finally be the one to stump him, and he couldn't bear the torture of waiting to be defeated. Or maybe he wanted to go try that one restaurant again! He seemed to enjoy the desserts there.
Or what if he was in trouble and needed to use Poe’s ability again? He’d better hurry. How would he defeat his greatest rival if he died at someone else’s hands?
Poe jumped from his chair, nearly face-planting when he noticed Karl, and had to change where he was going to land at the last second to avoid landing on him. He scrambled to the closet to get dressed, something he should have done hours ago, but that didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered except for the fact that Ranpo had explicitly requested that he go to the agency. He couldn't leave him waiting. Not when this was such a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence, and there was the possibility he was in danger.
He was changed and out the door in record time, nearly forgetting Karl in his haste—something Karl was not pleased about. Poe didn't care, though. Nothing could dim his mood, and he could always just give Karl a treat to make up for it. He would do that later. Instead, he just scratched Karl under the chin to appease him as he walked (ran) toward the nearest train station.
After ten agonizing minutes, he finally made it to the agency. He rushed in, nearly knocking Atsushi over in his haste to make it to Ranpo. “Ranpo! I’m here; what do you need?”
“Ed! About time you got here. I was about to die from boredom because I had to wait so long.” He whined.
“Ranpo, leave the poor boy alone. We only finished decorating a few minutes ago.” Fukuzawa said. Poe straightened slightly when he heard his voice. He knew how important Fukuzawa was to Ranpo, and he wanted to make sure he didn’t make a bad impression. Or at least no worse of one than being part of a rival group already gave him.
Wait, decorating?
Poe looked around the room, and sure enough, there were streamers and balloons scattered throughout the room. On a nearby table, there was a pile of presents. He’d been so focused on getting to Ranpo that he hadn’t even bothered to take in his surroundings. He’d thought he’d gotten better at that. His eyes landed on a banner that hung on the far wall.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY POE!
It wasn’t his birthday? He glanced at the calendar on the wall.
January 19th
Oh, it was his birthday. How did he forget that? He supposed he wasn’t used to doing things on his birthday. The most he ever did was go out for dinner with some of the members of the guild, but he didn’t really see most of them since the Guild fell apart—aside from Lucy, who he sometimes saw in the cafe below the agency.
“So, can we eat the cake now?” Ranpo asked, already making his way towards the table. His words drew Poe’s attention back to him, and Poe could’ve kissed him. He’d never told anyone his birthday, which means Ranpo had organized this for him. That, or they got the date from Lucy. Speaking of Lucy, he spotted her standing next to Atsushi, so it was entirely possible she had told them.
As Fukuzawa agreed and moved to cut the cake, Poe walked over to Lucy. “Did you tell them when my birthday was?”
“Nope, that was all lover boy over there.” She tilted her head in Ranpo’s direction.
“He did all this for—wait, we’re not lovers.” Poe cut himself off mid-sentence when he realized what Lucy had said. “We’re rivals.” Rivals who sometimes went out to fancy restaurants together…and shared a bed… and kissed.
Oh god, they were lovers.
How had he not realized this before?
“It’s okay, at least you’ve realized now.” Lucy patted his arm sympathetically before walking away with Atsushi. Poe stared off into space. How long have they been lovers? Were they dating? Did Ranpo know?
As if summoned by his thoughts, Ranpo appeared next to him, holding out a plate with a slice of cake on it. “Ranpo,” Poe started, unsure how to start this. “Are we dating?”
“Have been for about five months.” Ranpo nodded. “Was wondering how long it would take you to notice. For someone who claims to be my rival, you’re surprisingly dense sometimes.” Ranpo replied, then ate the remaining bite of his slice of cake.
“If you knew, why didn’t you tell me?” Poe frantically recalled every conversation he’d had with Ranpo in the past five months. That would have been right around the time Karl ran away to the agency.
“I tried.” Ranpo shrugged. “Why do you think I kept inviting you to the agency all those times?”
Poe blinked, opening his mouth to deny it. That couldn’t be true. Still, he couldn’t deny that since that time, he and Ranpo had spent a lot more time together than they usually did. Had that all really been by Ranpo’s design?
Poe sighed, admitting defeat. “You could have been clearer,” He argued, but still couldn’t fight the small smile from tugging at his lips. He and Ranpo were dating.
Ranpo shrugged. “This was more fun.”