Work Text:
The drive from the airport was made in comfortable silence. Comfortable might not be right, more like expected silence. Neither one of them had the words to touch on the other's grief. Eddie had lost a man who saved his life multiple times, who he went to for advice, and who always knew what would help him. Buck lost something a little bit more. Maybe not more but different. Bobby was his captain, the same as Eddie but he was more than just a mentor. With Bobby, Buck experienced what it was like to be loved by a father for the first time in his life. And now Bobby's gone. Both of them are grieving. Eddie had hoped they would grieve together. Maybe once they were home, they could break together.
“Are you hungry?” Buck asks, his eyes never leave the road. “I can stop at In-N-Out for you. I know you probably miss it.
“I'm good right now,” Eddie answers. “I can always make myself something later if I get hungry.” He notices Buck shift uncomfortably in the driver's seat.
“I, uh, haven't really had a chance to go grocery shopping.” Buck says, still not looking at Eddie. “Just been busy. You know.”
Eddie looks at him; he can see the back of Buck's neck turning red. Buck is lying. Eddie doesn't know why, but he doesn't think now is the time to call him on it. “It's okay Buck.” Eddie says softly. “I can order us something if needed.” Buck nods his head as he continues to drive down the freeway.
By the time they pulled up to the house on South Bedford Eddie was fidgety. Normally when they would drive home (really anywhere) together Buck had a million things to say. It always brought Eddie comfort listening to Buck talk about anything and everything. Buck, mostly silent, honestly scared Eddie. Eddie wishes he could have brought Christopher with him. At least then Buck would try for some normalcy. Unfortunately, Chris had finals coming up and couldn't miss the amount of school he would need to miss for the funeral. Eddie felt guilty coming without him, but the kid had basically pushed him out the door, telling him “You need to be there Dad. Cap was important to you. And Buck's going to need you.” Eddie silently cried the entire drive to the airport.
The Jeep was barely parked before Eddie was opening his door and walking around the back to grab his luggage. Buck slowly makes his way to the front door to get it unlocked. “Are you tired?” Buck asks. “Or do you want to wash the airport travel off of you?”
“Buck.” Eddie reaches his arm out for the other man's shoulder. Buck takes a step back. Eddie tries not to let the hurt show on his face from that. “I'm actually going to FaceTime Chris before he goes to sleep. Do you want to join me? I'm sure he'll be happy to see you.”
Eddie knows Chris recently started texting Buck again for the first time. The last time Buck had seen Chris was when they FaceTimed him for his birthday. During the talks that Eddie and Chris had while working through stuff, Eddie brought up how much Buck missed him too. Chris admitted that he didn't want to make Buck pick sides between the two of them and thought that Eddie needed Buck more. So, he stopped talking to Buck too. He felt guilty about it now. But Eddie encouraged him to start reaching out again. Telling the boy that Buck would never be upset with him.
“No. No.” Buck shakes his head putting up his hands. “You talk to your kid. I'm gonna go jump in the shower.” Buck turns and makes his way to the bathroom. Eddie sighs and sits down on the couch.
Chris answers almost immediately. “Hey buddy.” Eddie says, smiling at his son. “I just wanted to check in before you went to bed. We just got back to the house from the airport.”
“Where's Buck?” Chris asks, instead of any type of greeting.
“He jumped in the shower.” Eddie says, trying not to worry the kid. “I don't think he is up for talking right now bud. I'm sorry”
“It's okay Dad.” Chris says “I wasn't up for much talking when Mom died. But Buck kept trying until I did so that's what I'll do for him too. Will you just remind him that I know what it's like to lose a parent? And that I know it will get better for him eventually.”
Eddie's eyes tear up. “Yeah bud.” He says quietly “I'll make sure he knows. Maybe I can get him to call you tomorrow with me. But you should really head to bed now. It's late for you. I love you and I'll call you tomorrow.”
“I love you too Dad.” Chris says, “Tell Buck that I love him too.” He gives Eddie a wave before hanging up.
Eddie sighs and leans back on the couch. He feels better being here than he did in El Paso but it's still slightly off. Buck has set up his things similarly to how Eddie had the living room set up. But the fact that it's Buck's couch instead of his couch, he doesn't quite get the comfort that he's used to being here. Eddie can hear the shower still running so he stands and looks around.
Once he steps into the dining room, he notices a couple odd things. On the table is an electric kettle that he's never seen. Buck always swore that tea tasted better with water boiled on the stove and not from an electric kettle or Keurig. There are also a couple boxes of protein bars sitting next to the boxes of tea. Eddie doesn't understand why they're on the dining room table instead of in the cabinet in the kitchen. Buck must have a reason, so he leaves it be for now. There's also a pack of Styrofoam cups, and a small trash can against the wall with used ones tossed into it. Eddie's staring at the closed kitchen door with confusion when he hears the bathroom door open. He makes his way back into the living room to grab his pajamas and toiletries so he can have his turn with the shower.
“It's all yours.” Buck says, as he walks into the living room. “I also changed the sheets on the bed, so you have clean ones for tonight.”
“Buck, I'm not taking your bed.” Eddie sighs. “I'll be fine on the couch.”
“Eddie, please.” Bucks says softly. “This is your house, and you've been traveling all day. You're taking the bed.”
Eddie looks at him. He can see the cracks. Buck is barely keeping it together. He just wants to wrap the other man into a hug and will his pain away. He knows Buck won't allow himself that yet. So, Eddie sighs. “Okay Buck.” Eddie tries to convey comfort with just his eyes. “I'm going to take a shower.”
“I'm gonna go to sleep.” Buck says, looking away. “We have a long day tomorrow. Everyone wants to see you before the funeral Friday.”
“Buck.” Eddie tries again.
“Night Eds.” Buck says, grabbing the linens for the couch.
Eddie sighs and moves towards the bathroom. Once he closes the door, he pulls out his phone and opens a text thread.
Eddie: I should have come sooner.
Maddie: You came when you could.
Maddie: Has he talked to you at all? Maybe you guys can FaceTime Chris
Eddie: No. I tried to get him to call Chris with me and he ran to the shower.
Maddie: WHAT?!? He didn't even talk to Chris? Like at all?
Eddie: No. I'm going to do my best, but I honestly don't know what to expect from him the next couple days, let alone the funeral.
Maddie: You aren't alone. And don't forget to take care of yourself. Us oldest siblings gotta stick together okay?
Eddie: I will. We will see you tomorrow.
Eddie sighed. He sets his phone on the counter and jumps in the shower. Luckily, between his time in the army and the firehouse, he was quick when it came to showers, because the water turned cold right as he shut it off. Honestly, he should have expected it, Buck is a hot water hog.
Eddie slipped out of the bathroom after he was dressed. The lights were off already. He poked his head into the living room and saw Buck curled up on the couch. His eyes were closed but Eddie could tell he wasn't asleep yet. “Goodnight Buck.” Eddie whispered and turned back towards the bedroom.
If Eddie squints, it's almost like the room never changed. Eddie moved to Buck’s bed. He hadn't slept in it since COVID lockdown. Hen had brought an air mattress, Chimney claimed the couch, and Eddie shared the bed with Buck. Honestly those months probably hold the nights for “Best Sleep Ever”. Eddie assumed at the time it was the stupidly expensive memory foam mattress Buck owned. Now Eddie knows better. Hopefully soon he can convince Buck to share with him again. He is going to give Buck tonight. But tomorrow he will be in here with Eddie.
Eddie sets his phone on the bedside table, and he sees the picture frames. There is one of the entire 118. It's from Hen & Karen's vow renewal. Even Lucy and Ravi are in the picture. Next is a picture of a young Buck and Maddie. He can see the mischief in young Buck's eyes. Eddie smiles at it and turns to the last photo. Eddie feels his heat skip a beat as he picks it up. It's a photo of himself, Chris, and Buck. It's from their medal ceremony, right before Eddie blew up their lives. Eddie remembers Maddie taking the photo. Chris had been sitting at the table, Buck sitting next to him just smiling at him with such fondness. Eddie had come up behind Chris, sliding his medal around the boy's neck and hugging him, but his eyes were on Buck. They look like a family. They are a family. Maddie had sent them both the picture that night. He wonders if she knows. Probably, sisters always know, usually before anyone else even realizes it's a possibility. Eddie knows he is going to have to tell Buck someday. But it could wait until they weren't drowning in grief.
Eddie sighs and puts the photo back. He crawls into Buck's bed and attempts to make himself comfortable. Even though Buck had changed the sheets, he can still smell Bucks shampoo on the pillows. It brings him a little bit of comfort. He wishes Buck was here with him instead of out on the couch, but he can survive one alone here. Eddie closes his eyes, breathes in deep and eventually falls asleep.
The next morning Eddie is woken up by Buck trying to quietly sneak into the bedroom.
“Sorry.” Buck apologizes, “I was just trying to grab some clothes. I told Maddie I would take care of breakfast this morning for them.”
“I should wake up anyway.” Eddie says, sitting up in bed with a yawn and a stretch. “Are you going to make the famous Buckley pancakes?” Eddie would be lying if he didn't say he's really hoping Buck says yes, he has missed Buck's cooking.
“Uh. No.” Buck says, turning away from him to rummage through his closet. “Maddie's been having some crazy pregnancy cravings for this diner that's on the way to their house. We'll just stop there and grab something to take with us.”
“Okay. I'll get dressed and we can get going.” Eddie says getting out of the bed. “Don't want to upset a hangry pregnant lady.”
“I'll call in the order so we can just grab it on the way.” Buck says, making his way back towards the door. “Do you want bacon with your pancakes?”
“Yeah.” Eddie answers, putting his suitcase on the bed in search of clothes. “That would be perfect, Buck. Thank you. I'll be ready in just a little bit.” Buck nods and leaves the room. Eddie sighs. He just wants to sit with Buck and have an actual face-to-face conversation. But it looks like that's not going to be happening anytime soon. He gets dressed for what is guaranteed to be a long day.
“We come with breakfast!” Buck calls out as he lets them into the house.
“Aww, I thought you were gonna make pancakes this morning.” Maddie says, coming into the room as they set the takeout on the table.
“Uh, figured this is easier.” Buck says, not making eye contact with her. Maddie looks at Eddie with worried eyes. “Where is my favorite girl?”
“In her room.” Maddie sighs. Buck runs off before she has even finished her sentence. “Hey Eddie.” She reaches out for a hug.
“Hey Maddie.” Eddie gently hugs her. “How are you holding up?”
“At this point, I don't even know.” Maddie says her eyes getting watery. “I think I need to split myself into threes so I can be there for everyone.”
“I should have came sooner. I'm so sor-” Eddie starts to apologize.
“Eddie no.” Maddie interrupts. “You had Christopher to worry about. The important thing is that you are here now.” She squeezes his arm.
“Where's Chim?” He asks, trying to keep the tears from making an appearance.
“He went on another run.” Maddie sighs. “Been doing that a lot lately. He, hopefully, will be back soon. I reminded him that you were going to be here.”
“It's okay.” Eddie reassures her. “I get the feeling we aren't going to leave for a bit. As long as your brother can use your kid as a distraction, he's going to.”
“When Buck is sad, give him a kid.” Maddie says smiling.
“When Buck is sad, give him a kid.” Eddie repeats. They had started the joke when Chris was still little. When they realized anytime Buck was feeling down, it would disappear when one of the kids would appear.
“So, no weird pregnancy cravings for these specific pancakes?” Eddie asks with a slight smile.
“Honestly, it's been more for Buck's pancakes than these random diner pancakes.” Maddie says, shaking her head. “I'm not sure what is happening, beyond you know.” She waves her hand. “I am hoping you can get through to him. Because right now he is so focused on everyone else, it's scaring me.”
“I know.” Eddie says. Looking towards the hallway Buck had disappeared down. “We haven't even had a real conversation since he picked me up.”
“We keep trying.” Maddie says, rubbing his shoulder.
“I'm back.” Chimney called out as he came through the door. “Eddie!” The man launched himself at Eddie for a hug.
“Hey Chim.” Eddie hugs him tightly. The tears are back. “I'm sorry I wasn't there.” His voice is barely above a whisper.
“Hey! No!” Chimney says his eyes also watering. “I'm glad at least one of us wasn't in danger.” He gives Eddie another squeeze before leaning back. “Where is Buck?”
“I believe he has been kidnapped by your daughter.” Maddie says as she opens up the takeout and gets it set up. “Though at this point he might have actually kidnapped her.”
“Buckaroo!” Chim calls out. “You are starving Jee, come on.”
“We are coming.” Buck yells back. Shortly after he comes in carrying the girl. “We were trying to pick out the perfect outfit.”
“So she can cover it in pancake syrup?” Chimney asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Clearly it's for post breakfast clean up.” Buck rolls his eyes.
Breakfast conversation heavily relied on Jee, and her very strong options about the fruit blend with her pancakes. Eddie smiles at the little girl. Everyone else was digging into their food, well everyone but Buck. Chimney had tried to not eat but Maddie was giving him a look that had the man slowly start on his omelet Buck had ordered for him. Maddie was so focused on Chimney and Jee that Buck clearly thought he could get away with just cutting up and moving his food around his plate. Eddie noticed. Buck had just finished cutting up his pancakes into the smallest pieces Eddie had ever seen when he looked up from his plate. Buck jumped a little when he realized Eddie was watching him. Eddie tried to give him a look that conveyed that he needed to eat but Buck just shrugged and looked back down at his mangled pancakes. Eddie sighed and ate his own food.
“I'm done!” Jee announces, covered in pancake syrup as predicted.
“I've got her.” Buck jumps up before anyone else has a chance to move. Sweeping up his niece and disappearing down to the bathroom.
“So, are you gonna fix that or do we need to make it like a group thing?” Chimney asks, pointing at Buck's uneaten food.
“It's going to need to be me.” Eddie says sadly. “Otherwise, he is gonna double down and it's gonna get worse. Last night he wouldn't even get on FaceTime with Chris.” Chimney's jaw actually drops. “I know. Trust me. Though it might have been a good thing because Chris said something that I don't know how he would have reacted.”
“What did he say?” Maddie asks. Looking slightly confused. “I don't really think there is anything that kid can do that would actually upset Buck.”
“He told me to just remind Buck that he knows what it's like to lose a parent too. If he wants to talk about it.” Eddie's eyes are once again watery.
“Oh God.” Chimney says, putting his face in his hands. “I didn't even think about that for him.” Chimney shoots up from his chair and begins to pace. “God, he has to hate me.”
“Whoa! Chim!” Eddie jumps up and grabs Chimney by his shoulders “What are you talking about?”
“Bobby literally sacrificed himself for me, Eddie!” Chimney says through tears. “Buck lost his dad for what? His shitty bother-in-law!”
“Buck doesn't see it that way.” Maddie says reaching out for her husband. “It was an impossible situation Howie.”
“Maddie, he didn't say anything. And then he just gave me the antiviral.” Chimney cries. “All because I asked him to take care of you and the kids.”
“Chim, you know he would do it for any of us.” Eddie says softly. “You would have never been able to convince him to do anything but save you.”
“He didn't even give us the option!” Chimney argues. “He just sat there taking care of us all while he was dying. Why would he do that? We are a team. We always find another way!”
“Chim. You know there was no other option.” Buck’s voice cuts in. Eddie is honestly shocked at how steady it is.
“There is always a third option. When you are out in the field and you only have two bad options to choose from. You do not accept that. You do not let those be the only two crappy options available. You always find the third way.” Chimney cries “Bobby taught us all that.”
“Do you really think there was a third option here, Chim?” Buck asks softly, stepping closer to his brother-in-law. “You think I haven't spent the last two weeks trying to figure out another way?”
“I don't know how I'm supposed to live with this.” Chimney whispers.
“The point is just to live.” Buck says, pulling him into a hug.
Maddie has tears running down her face, Chimney is full body sobbing into Buck's arms, Eddie can feel the wetness on his own face. But Buck is almost stoic. There's no tears, just fierce determination. It honestly shocks Eddie. He's so used to seeing Buck show all his emotions, that this form of him is almost unrecognizable. He looks over to Maddie. They make eye contact, and Eddie knows that they're thinking the same thing. When Buck finally breaks it's going to be bad.
Chimney finally calms down enough for Maddie to lead him to their bedroom. Buck sighs heavily as they walk away. Eddie doesn't dare to move, mostly out of fear that Buck will finally break. Maddie walks back into the room and hugs her brother.
“Thank you.” She says into his chest. “I think you finally got through to him.”
“Good.” Buck says softly. “You know I'm always here for you guys.”
“We are here for you too.” Maddie says, giving him another squeeze.
“I'm fine.” Buck responds. Not looking anyone in the eyes.
“Buck.” Eddie starts but is interrupted.
“Uncle Buck!” Jee comes running in. “Can I have cookies?”
“Aww. I'm sorry Jee I didn't bring any today.” He says lifting the girl into his arms. “Unless Mommy still has some of the snickerdoodles I made her.”
“You know I ate those within 2 days of you making them.” Maddie laughs.
“Maddie, that was three dozen cookies!” Buck almost shouts. “Those should have at least lasted you a month.”
“Tell that to your nephew.” Maddie fires back. “He wanted snickerdoodles, so he got snickerdoodles. Leave me alone. I'm pregnant and hormonal.”
Buck laughs. And it warms Eddie's inside just a little bit. Like maybe they will be okay.
“I bet if you ask Uncle Buck really nicely, he would make us some more snickerdoodles for tomorrow.” Maddie says to Jee who immediately turns to her uncle.
“Plllllllllleeeeaaaaasssse Uncle Buck!” Jee turns her pleading eyes on him. “We need cookies. Uncle Buck!”
“Okay! Okay!” Buck laughs. “You can both put the puppy dog eyes away. I'll make them this afternoon while Uncle Eddie is visiting Aunt Hen.” Jee and Maddie cheer and high five. Jee runs off to play in her room “That was dirty.” Buck says to Maddie.
“Your nephew wants snickerdoodles Evan.” Maddie says in defense. “Don't you think he deserves snickerdoodles?”
“Alright, I'll get a fresh batch made and delivered tomorrow.” Buck shakes his head at his sister. “We better get going. Since I have cookies to make and Eddie needs to go see Hen.”
“Okay. I love you.” She hugs Buck again before turning to Eddie. “Both of you.” She hugs Eddie and whispers. “Call me if you need me.”
“I got him, Maddie.” Eddie whispers back. “Love you too. Take care of Chim. We will see you tomorrow. With cookies apparently.” Eddie smiles and looks at Buck.
“Yeah. Yeah.” Buck rolls his eyes. “Don't think I don't know, this is all just a big ploy, so you can get a sweet treat too Diaz.”
“I have no idea what you could possibly mean.” Eddie deadpans. “I'm just trying to look out for the well-being of your very pregnant sister and your unborn nephew.”
“So you aren't going to steal a cookie while they cool?” Buck teases.
“I never said that.” Eddie fires back and they both laugh. “Bye Maddie.” Eddie says as he pushes Buck out the door.
Once they are in the jeep, Eddie tries to keep up the mood. “You wanna just drop me off at Hen's?” Eddie asks. “I know you said you hadn't been to the store in a minute. You are gonna need all the stuff for our cookies.”
“Oh, they are ‘our’ cookies now are they?” Buck says in mock offense.
“Well, you aren't gonna deny your best friend snickerdoodles, are you?” Eddie says, turning on his own puppy dog eyes. They aren't nearly as good as Christopher's or even Buck's, but they generally work on Buck.
“You know I won't.” Buck laughs and shakes his head. “I'll drop you off and be back in about 4 hours. If that's okay with you?”
“That's fine Buck.” Eddie says, smiling at him. “It gives me and Karen time to catch up on our gossip.”
“I’m gonna come get you and you are gonna be wine drunk, aren’t you?” Buck teases him.
“I make no promises.” Eddie laughs. It feels good. He has missed this while in Texas. “I will try my best to say no to Karen when starts trying to give me wine.”
“Okay.” Buck laughs as he stops in front of the Wilson house. “I’ll be back in 4 hours. And if you aren’t wine drunk, you might get a cookie.”
“Deal.” Eddie laughs and jumps out of the Jeep. “I’ll see you in a couple hours. Enjoy your baking.” He gives Buck another smile. Before walking up to knock on the Wilsons’ door. When Karen opens it, he waves at Buck as he pulls away. “Hey Karen.” His smile turns slightly sad.
“Eddie.” Karen throws her arms around him. “Buck isn’t staying?” A look of confusion on her face as she sees him drive away.
“His niece and sister begged for cookies, so he is gonna head to the store and then home to bake.” Eddie says as she leads him inside. “I am hoping it's good for him.”
“He’s still not talking?” Karen asks, concern laced in her voice. “I know he has been checking in and trying to take care of everyone. But when anyone asks him how he’s doing. He just says...”
“That he is fine.” Eddie finishes for her. “Yeah. He barely let me get a hug at the airport. Jee asking for cookies to be made is actually the first time I have seen him actually look like Buck.”
“Eddie? When did you get here?” Hen enters the room, immediately going for a hug. “Where is Buck? Did he make you tuck and roll?”
“Jee asked for cookies.” Karen says simply and Hen understands. “Come sit down Eddie tell us how life is going in Texas.”
“Texas has been Texas.” Eddie sighs. “I hate it. I think part of that right now is the guilt for not being here. I know from what everyone has said that there was nothing I could have done, and survivor's guilt is nothing new for me. But at the same time, I hate the fact I was not with you all.”
“Eddie. It was better that you weren’t.” Hen says, placing a hand on his arm. “You could have been exposed and then we would be planning for two funerals.”
“Logically I know. It will take some time for the rest of me to catch up.” Eddie sighs. “When Karen called, I thought it was Buck. And I feel guilty for the brief relief I felt when I found out he was okay. Physically anyway.”
“No one is going to hold that against you Eddie.” Hen says softly. “He’s your best friend. Of course, you are going to be relieved that he is okay. And that doesn’t change what losing Bobby means to you.”
“I couldn’t remember the last time I talked to Bobby. Things just got busy in Texas, and I let things here fall on the back burner.” Eddie says sadly. “I had to look at my phone, and I had texted him a week before it happened asking about a crockpot.”
“Eddie, he understood.” Hen says. “He was so excited about any update Buck would tell him about how things were going. He just wanted you to get your son back. And he never gave up hope that you were going to come home. You are still a part of our family.”
“Thanks Hen.” Eddie says as he wipes tears away. “I thought once I was with Buck things would be a little bit better, you know? I thought that the two of us could at least be sad together. But I’m worried.”
“I think we are all worried at this point.” Karen says with a heavy sigh. “He has been running around like crazy, bringing food to everyone. I think he managed to get everyone’s dress uniforms to the dry cleaners. Cleaning and running the kids places while the adults recuperate.”
“Don’t get us wrong. We are extremely grateful.” Hen adds. “But we all know what Bobby was to him. And he just keeps saying he is fine, while asking us what we need.”
“He literally stepped away from me last night when I reached for him.” Eddie says, fresh tears forming. “I couldn’t even get him to FaceTime Chris with me.”
“Do we know if he has reached out to his therapist?” Karen asks.
“I highly doubt it.” Eddie sighs. “He had reduced his sessions down to quarterly meetings, and his next one is not till next month. I was trying to get him to schedule something sooner, just because of everything that has happened recently.”
“We will get him through this Eddie.” Hen says, “We are all going to get through this.”
“Right now, I just want to get through today.” Eddie says, shaking his head. “Hopefully the cookies will help. I need him in a little bit of a good mood when we argue about the sleeping situation at home.”
“Sleeping situation?” Hen asks, raising an eyebrow.
“We have literally shared a bed before.” Eddie rolls his eyes. “There is no reason for him to be sleeping on the couch. Especially since it is his bed and technically his house.”
“You can say that it is ‘His House’ all you want, Edmundo. But we all know he sees it as yours still and always will.” Hen sasses at Eddie.
“Yeah, well it could be ours if he would stop being a pain in the ass.” Eddie mutters.
“Excuse me?!?” Karen says, eyes lighting up with this new information. “Did you say ‘ours’?”
“Eddie, do you have something to share with us?” Hen asks, failing to keep the smile off her face.
Eddie shifted in his seat. He hadn't planned on telling his secrets to anyone on this trip. Honestly, the one person he wanted to talk to about it was currently unavailable emotionally. So, he was going to wait until they were both in a better headspace. He looked between Karen and Hen, both of them seemed to be vibrating with excitement. Eddie figured if there's two people that would keep his secrets, it was them. So, he sighed with defeat.
“Maybe I have a couple things that I'm keeping secret.” Eddie says, looking at the table. “I honestly hadn't planned on talking about them during this trip home.”
“It's interesting that you call this home.” Karen says. “Not the place that has the house you bought.”
“Yeah well, that's just where I live. It's not home.” Eddie sighs. “Honestly, I was working on a trip home before this happened. I needed to have a conversation with Buck.”
“Eddie.” Hen squeezes his arm, “You don't have to tell us anything you don't want to. If you're not ready that's fine. Just know that we support you no matter what.”
“I know.” Eddie looks up smiling at them. “I just don't want this to be a big deal. I've already had the conversation with Christopher. I just want to tell my best friend. But I can't right now.”
“He'll come around, Eddie.” Karen tries to reassure him.
“I'm just worried I'm going to lose him before that happens.” Eddie has tears in his eyes again. “I thought once I was with Christopher again, I would feel whole. Then I got to Texas and at first, I thought it was just because Chris was still living with my parents. But then he and I actually talked and he moved back in. I was happy, don't get me wrong. All I wanted was for my son to be with me again. But I still didn't feel whole.” He looked up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away. “Funny enough it was Chris who pointed out what the issue actually was. He told me it was because the rest of our family was in LA.”
“He wasn't talking about the 118 or Pepa was he?” Hen asks softly.
“No.” Eddie whispers. “And then of course I'm having a crisis over that. And then my 14-year-old is trying to hype me up when I finally accept it. Telling me there's no way it's not a mutual feeling. And about how everybody already thinks he has two dads. Then when I'm finally brave enough to take that step, the world comes crashing down again.”
“Oh Eddie.” Karen reaches out for his hand. Giving him comfort as the tears continue.
“I'm just sad and angry and so worried right now.” Eddie admits. “I thought coming here would allow us to grieve together and find a way to move forward. Then eventually we'd be okay enough to maybe start something new.” He runs his free hand down his face. “But I got here and it's way worse than I thought. I should have came sooner. I shouldn't have let him be here for two weeks doing what he's doing.”
“Eddie. It's not your fault.” Hen says. “And it's not all on you to keep him together.” She sighs. “I think we all should have expected what's happening. But between injuries and our own grief, we were all just blindly accepting his help and let the ‘I’m Fines’ happen without arguing.”
“He is normally so overly emotional. You always know what he was feeling.” Karen says, her hand is still gripping his. “I just didn't realize he was also good at hiding them when he wants to.”
“Baking the cookies will help tonight. He's always calmer when he has something to do with his hand.” Eddie sighs. “I am slightly concerned that he's not eating.”
“Why?” Karen asks. “Didn't you guys have breakfast with the Hans this morning?”
“He had a plate in front of him, but he just moved his food around or cut it up into tiny pieces to make it look like he was eating.” Eddie says. “I don't think he ate dinner last night either. On the way back from the airport he offered the stop. But it was only to get me something.”
“I’m going to be honest with you Eddie.” Hen says, worry painted across her face. “I haven't noticed whether or not he was eating. And since he stopped wearing shirts that were two sizes too small, I can't say whether or not he lost weight.”
“It's okay Hen.” Eddie reassures her. “Hopefully tonight I can get him to eat. And I'll watch him while I'm here to make sure he gets at least one meal a day in him.”
“This is also messed up.” Karen says, tears forming in her eyes. “You should be planning the last first date you will ever go on. You should be giddy with excitement for all the possibilities. Instead, we're worried about making sure somebody we love eats and getting ready to bury another one.” Karen starts sobbing and Hen moves to wrap her in her arms.
“Hey. Hey.” Hen shushes her. “It's going to be okay. We have each other. And we're going to rely on each other to make sure all of us make it through this.”
“Would you feel better if I let you brainstorm ideas for when I can finally take him on a date?” Eddie asks, sending Karen a small smile.
“You know what?" Karen says. “I actually would. Let's start with the setting and go from there.”
That's how Eddie found himself going over the most ridiculous first date ideas he's ever heard in his life for hours. He's stuck by his deal with Buck not to get wine drunk but that did not stop Karen from drinking two bottles by herself. After every glass, the ideas would jump intensity.
“Karen, I don't think taking him on a one-week trip to Italy is exactly first date material.” Eddie laughs, shaking his head at the woman.
“Yeah,” Karen said with a slight slur. “That's more honeymoon material.”
“I fear we have lost the plot.” Eddie says, looking at her like she is crazy. “We don't even know if he's going to say yes when I finally ask him out.”
“Eddie!” Karen almost shouts. “I know you aren't as smart as I am, and generally emotionally constipated, but that was the dumbest thing I've ever heard come out of your mouth.”
“Wow. You are such a great friend.” Eddie deadpans.
“I know.” Karen smiles. Hen cackles at him.
“Why am I here again?” Eddie jokingly glares at them. “When's Buck going to be here?” He looks at his watch, and his smile drops.
“Eddie, what's wrong?” Hen asks her smile also disappears.
“Buck should have picked me up over an hour ago.” Concern heavy in his voice as he pulls out his phone to call Buck. His call goes straight to voicemail.
“He could have just lost track of time.” Hen says, trying to soothe his worries. “You know how he gets when he's baking or cooking.”
“Yeah, You're probably right.” Eddie says, He opens the Uber app. “I’m going to get a ride home. I'll let you know when I get there.”
“Eddie, don't be silly.” Karen argues. “Hen can take you and drop you off.”
“No. No.” Eddie waves her off. "There's one that's less than a minute away and you should stay here with Karen just in case.”
“Okay.” Hen concedes “But you let us know what's going on as soon as you can.”
“I promise.” Eddie says, giving them both a hug.
The 15-minute drive back to the house felt like an eternity. Eddie could just feel in his stomach. Something was wrong. He was regretting leaving Buck on his own. Now he had no idea what he was going to walk into. When the car pulled up to the house the first thing Eddie noticed was that none of the lights were on. Despite the fact Buck's Jeep sat in the driveway. He thanked his driver and quickly scurried out of the back seat. When he opened the door, all heard was silence.
“Buck?” Eddie called out, concern lacing his voice. “Did you forget about me?” He was still hoping Buck would pop out with that signature smile. No answer.
Eddie walked into the living room and didn't see Buck. He turned towards the dining area and still no Buck. The kitchen door was still closed. The feeling of dread was building. He walked to the kitchen door to open it. He was able to push it open about an inch before there was resistance. Eddie pushed a little harder, the door opened more but there was clearly something behind it that was keeping it from opening with ease. When he finally got the door open enough to slide in and turn on the light, the scene that he was met with shook him to his core.
The kitchen is destroyed. Not, “Oh, I have been cooking and there are dirty dishes everywhere” destroyed. Cabinet doors torn off, broken dishes, upturned chairs destroyed. Eddie’s heart rate picks up as he sees the destruction. Drawers are missing, their contents flung across the kitchen. He is pretty sure the back is missing to one of the barstools for the island. There is flour mixed in with the broken glass, like the bag was thrown once all the breakable dishes were thrown.
“Buck?” Eddie calls out, he cannot keep the fear out of his voice. He takes another couple steps into the kitchen and finally sees him.
He's sitting on the ground, back against the cabinets. His curls are a mess from where he clearly had been pulling his hair. Tears are silently running down his face as he stares blankly ahead. There's blood on his shirt from his busted knuckles and what looks like a nasty cut on his arm. Eddie is terrified. “Buck.” He whispers, stepping slowly and carefully towards the man. “Buck? Bud, I need you to look at me.” Buck doesn't move. He doesn't even blink. If it wasn't for the tears and his chest rising and falling with each breath, Eddie would be more panicked.
Eddie crouches down in front of him, slowly reaching his hands out towards the man. In case Buck came back to himself and didn't want to be touched. “Buck?” Eddie tries again. “I need some type of sign that you can hear me, Buck.” He places his hands on Buck’s shoulders, rubbing them softly. “Come on Buck. Come back to me.” Eddie can feel his eyes trying to produce tears again. He fights them down the best he can. Right now, he just needs to focus on Buck. “Please don't make me call 911 Buck.”
After a couple minutes Buck finally blinks slowly. “He's gone.” Buck whispers. “He's gone, Eds.”
“I know Buck.” Eddie says softly. “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“I didn't say it back Eddie” Buck continues, just as quietly. “Why didn't I say it back? Now I can never tell him. He didn't know Eddie. He died without knowing.”
“What didn't you say back, Buck?” Eddie asks slowly.
“He told me he loved me.” Buck cries. “And I didn't say it back, Eds. I didn't say it back.” Buck falls forward into Eddie's chest sobbing.
“He knew Buck.” Eddie says as he rubs his back. “He knew. You didn’t have to say it.” Buck continued to sob. “Buck, I need to clean you up.” Buck shakes his head. “Come on Buck. You are bleeding, and I need to make sure you don’t need stitches.” Buck’s cries started to slow down. “It’s okay. I’m here. We can get through this. But first we have to get out of this kitchen before we cause more damage.” Eddie slowly pulled Buck to his feet. “Lean on me and watch your step.”
Eventually Eddie manhandles Buck to the bathroom. Buck is sitting on the counter while Eddie digs through the first aid kit. “You are lucky this wasn’t deeper.” Eddie says as he cleans the cut on Buck's arm. “Or we would be making a trip to the ER.” Buck shrugs his shoulders. He hadn’t said a word since they left the kitchen. “This might sting.” Buck doesn't even flinch as he wipes the alcohol wipe across his busted knuckles. “Okay all done. Let's get changed. You are covered in blood and flour.”
Buck didn’t actually move until Eddie pulled him off of the counter. Eddie guided the other man to the bedroom. “Let me get these off of you.” Eddie says softly, as he reached for Buck’s shirt first. Buck goes easily as Eddie gets the shirt over his head. “Alright. Pants next.” Eddie kneels down and mechanically undoes and slides Bucks pants down. Right now, Buck is his best friend, not the man he had feelings for. So, he is going to be Buck’s best friend and get him dressed. It’s nothing more. “Let me grab your comfy clothes.” Eddie tosses the dirty clothes to the side and steps toward the dresser. He grabs Buck’s favorite sweats and the cut off t-shirt he had been gravitating toward lately.
Buck is dressed and silent still. He has finally stopped crying, but now he just seems empty. “Okay Buck.” Eddie says softly and starts guiding him towards the bed. “I’m gonna get you in bed. Then I am going to get changed and join you.” He lays Buck down, the other man not protesting at all. “I’ll be right back.”
Eddie grabs his sleep shorts and heads to the bathroom. He pulls out his phone and sees several messages and missed calls. He goes to start replying to people when it vibrates with another incoming call.
“Hey Maddie.” Eddie sighs
“Eddie! Thank God.” Maddie sighs. “I think Hen is convinced your Uber driver murdered you. You forgot to let her know you made it home.”
“Maddie.” Eddie says softly.
“What happened?” Maddie asks, hearing how defeated he sounds.
“It finally happened.” Eddie says, hearing Maddie’s gasp. “It’s bad. I’m not sure what the catalyst was, but he and I are going to have some major repairs to do in the kitchen. You will have to let Jee know she isn’t getting her cookies tomorrow.”
“Do I need to come over?” Maddie asks, voice full of worry for her little brother. “I am getting ready to put Jee to bed and then I can head that way.”
“No. No.” Eddie assures her. “I am going to get him some water and Tylenol, and I am pretty sure he is mostly exhausted at this point. I cleaned up and bandaged the damage he did to himself. He will be okay. I’ve got him”
“Thank you, Eddie.” Maddie says. “I’ll let the others know you are okay. You just worry about Evan. And call me if anything changes.”
“You will be my first call. Promise.” Eddie says and ends the call.
Eddie gets changed and grabs the bottle of Tylenol. He heads back towards the destroyed kitchen. He opens the door and just stares at the carnage. In the back of his mind, he thinks this must be what Buck felt like when he had to break down the door to Eddie’s room all those years ago. Eddie steps carefully to the fridge, avoiding as much glass as he could, and grabs a bottle of water. He shuts off the light and closes the door. After making sure he locked the front door he heads back to Buck’s/his room. Buck is still laying down, but he is just staring straight ahead.
“Alright bud.” Eddie says softly. “Let's get some meds and water in you, or you are gonna feel even worse.” He pulls Buck up.
Eddie tries to hand Buck the Tylenol, but Buck doesn't even seem to realize he is there. Eddie sighs and sets them back on the bedside table. He gently grabs Buck's face, “Buck” Eddie whispers. “I really need you to come back to me. I am barely hanging on right now.” Buck doesn't react. “Evan please.” Eddie pleads.
Buck finally blinks. “Eddie?” He says in confusion.
“Hey, I'm here.” Eddie runs a hand through Buck’s hair. “I've got you some meds and water. Then we can lay down, okay?” Buck nods his head, and Eddie grabs the pills and water. “Okay. Open up.” Buck complied, allowing Eddie to feed him the medicine and water. “Okay. Let's lie down.”
Eddie gets them in bed facing each other. “You will be okay Buck.” Eddie says softly. “We both will.”
“I don't know how.” Buck admits. “I couldn't even make my niece cookies.”
“Do you wanna tell me what happened?” Eddie asks.
“I got home from the store. Ready to make about 500 cookies.” Buck admits. “Thought it would keep me busy enough that I wouldn't think about...” Buck trails off. “Anyway, I pulled out one of my aprons to get started. Then I saw which one I grabbed.” Tears are forming in Buck's eyes again. “It was the ‘World’s Best Sous Chef’ one he got me for my birthday.” Buck starts sobbing again.
“Oh Buck.” Eddie said softly, pulling the other man into a hug.
“I don't even remember what happened after I saw it.” Buck admits. “Everything is such a blur.”
“I'm sorry I wasn't here.” Eddie says, continuing to rub Buck’s back gently. “I'm sorry I left at all.”
“Eddie. No.” Buck pulls back slightly. “You had to be with Chris.”
“I should have been there. Maybe then we could have figured out the third option.” Tears are now falling from Eddie's eyes.
“Or you could have been infected too.” Buck says. “We can't think about the what ifs. Right?”
“I know. And I know he wouldn't want us to.” Eddie sighs. “But Buck when I got that call from Karen.”
“I should have called you. I'm so sor...” Buck tries to apologize.
“I thought she was going to tell me you were the one dead.” Eddie interrupts. “And then she tells me it's Bobby. And I'm trying not to lose it, so I don't scare Chris. I was alone and just wanted my best friend.” Buck pulls him into a hug as Eddie finally breaks. “I wasn't there, Buck. You all needed me, and I wasn't there.”
“Eddie, you were where you were supposed to be.” Buck tries to comfort him. “I know Bobby would say the same.”
“I'm supposed to be comforting you right now.” Eddie gives a watery laugh.
“Maybe we can just comfort each other.” Buck says softly. Eddie tightens the hug. Eventually they release each other and just lay next to each other.
“Athena wants me to give a eulogy.” Buck whispers. “Chief Simpson is giving one, but she thought there needed to be someone who actually knew Bobby.” Buck sighs. “She told me ‘His son should’. And I just nodded my head. How was I supposed to tell her no?”
“She would understand if you couldn't do it.” Eddie reassures Buck.
“I don't know what to even say.” Buck says. “How do you encompass someone who was so important in your life in just a couple minutes? Do I talk about how he took a kid who had no one and gave him support? Do I talk about how he turned the 118 into a family not just a crew? Do I talk about the unwavering support he gave all of us? Or how him sacrificing himself for others was not something new? Do I talk about how he always had advice for every situation?” Buck is working himself into hysterics. “Maybe I just joke about how he had to deal with me pestering him until he let me in. Or how he probably regretted the day I joined the 118 every time he found a new gray hair.”
“Buck! Breathe.” Eddie says as he grabs his arm.
“How am I supposed to do this without him, Eddie?” Buck asks through tears.
“By remembering you aren't alone.” Eddie says. “We are all here. And if you need something extra Chris wanted me to make sure you knew he is here for you.”
“I miss him so much.” Buck whispers. “I cried at the firehouse when he texted me for the first time since he left.”
“He felt really bad about that by the way.” Eddie says. “I had to convince him that you still loved him and weren't mad about it.”
“I could never be mad at him.” Buck says with a smile.
“I know.” Eddie smiles back. “You should go to sleep.”
“I'm scared. I keep seeing it. Every night.” Buck admits.
“I'm here.” Eddie reassures him. “You won't be alone. I've got you. Just close your eyes.” Eddie is honestly a little shocked that Buck complies without argument.
Eddie runs his hand up and down Buck's shoulder watching as the other man's breath evens out. He waits another five minutes before whispering to Buck's sleeping form. “I love you. And I am going to get you through this. I promise.” He snuggles down into his own pillow and falls asleep as Buck starts to snore.
A buzzing noise woke Eddie up the next morning. He sits up quickly looking around. They had clearly failed to close the curtains in the mist of their grief last night. The room is flooded with sunlight already. The buzzing stops and then immediately starts again. ‘His phone’ Eddie's brain supplies. He turns to the end table on his side of the bed and grabs his phone.
“`Ello?” Eddie mumbles.
“Eddie?” May’s voice says, sounding on the verge of panic. “Is Buck with you? I have been trying to call him all morning.”
“Yeah yeah.” Eddie says quickly “He's still asleep. Honestly, I'm not sure where his phone ended up.”
“Eddie, I need you to both get to Cedars Sinai.” May says.
“What happened May? Is Athena okay?” Eddie asks, jumping out of bed and looking for clothes.
“What'shappening?” Buck mumbles, awakened by the chaos Eddie is causing.
“You need to get up, Buck. We gotta go.” Eddie tells him, his tone seems to get Buck with the program.
“Eddie!” May shouts. “We are fine, I can't tell you any over the phone just get here. I'll text you where we are.”
“Okay. Okay” Eddie replies. “We are on our way.”
“Eddie, what's wrong?” Buck asks, fear creeping into his voice.
“I don't know.” Eddie replies, tossing a random shirt at Buck. “That was May, and she said we need to get to Cedars Sinai immediately.”
“Oh God!” Buck starts panicking, “Is Athena hurt? Or did Maddie go into labor early?”
“Hey! Hey!” Eddie grabs his hand. “May said Athena was okay. Whatever it is, it will be okay.”
“Yeah. Yeah okay.” Buck nods. “Let's Go.”
They both rush out of the house. Eddie is able to grab his wallet, and Buck manages to find his keys in the bowl next to the door. The drive to Cedars Sinai felt like it took forever. When they finally pulled into the parking lot, he could see Buck fidgeting with worry. May meets them at the elevator.
“You look terrible.” May remarks as she hugs Buck. Eddie looks over at Buck and can't help but I agree. You can see the dark circle under Bucks eyes, which are still puffy and red from crying last night. His curls are an absolute mess still. Eddie thinks this must be what ‘grief stricken’ looks like.
“Hey Eddie.” May says as she pulls him into a hug next.
“May what is happening?” Buck asks, worry still written all over his face.
“Buck, I promise everything is fine.” May says as she leads him towards the waiting room. “Mom can explain everything. So, let's just try and breathe okay?”
“Buck!” Athena’s voice catches all their attention. She is closing the door to a room and heading towards them. Eddie thinks it's slightly odd with how happy she looks. Not what he was expecting from a woman who lost her husband 2 weeks ago.
“Athena” Buck stands up, and she grabs his hands “What's going on? Why are we here?”
“I need you to just listen to me, okay Buck?” Athena asks, squeezing the man's hands. “No interruptions.” Buck nods his head. “I got a call from the funeral home this morning.” Eddie can see Buck stiffen. “They came in to prepare the body for the funeral, only to hear someone shouting for help. When they investigated, they found Bobby. He's alive. Bobby's alive.”
Eddie's jaw drops and his eyes move to Buck immediately. Buck has dropped into the closest chair. His mouth is moving but no sound is coming out. Eddie can see the tears forming.
“This isn't funny `thena” Buck mumbles “He's gone.” Tears are falling now
“I would never joke about this, Evan Buckley.” Athena says sternly. “Bobby is alive. He's alive, baby.”
Just then Harry came out of the same room Athena had. “He is asking for Buck.” Harry says with a smile. “He said you are taking too long.”
Suddenly Buck is on his feet and running towards the room Harry came out of. Eddie quickly follows, mostly to make sure Buck doesn't fall in his haste. Buck opens the door and stops so suddenly Eddie almost slams into him. Inside the room, there's Bobby sitting up in bed, with a smile on his face.
“Hey kid.” Bobby says, looking at Buck with that fatherly smile he always gives him. Buck launches himself at Bobby, engulfing the man in a hug. Bobby hugs him back with a laugh.
Next thing Eddie knows, Buck is full body sobbing in Bobby's arms. Bobby is rubbing Buck's back trying to sooth him.
“I'm okay.” Bobby says to Buck as he continues to cry. “I’m so sorry, kid. I'm here.”
“I love you too.” Buck cries, Eddie's heart breaks. “I love you too. I'm sorry I didn't say it back. I'm sorry I didn't say it back.”
Athena places a hand on Eddie's arm. When he looks at her, he sees tears in her eyes too.
“I knew, kid. You didn't have to say it. I knew.” Bobby says, still trying to soothe Buck. “I'm sorry I put you through this. But I promise I knew.”
Eventually Buck's sobs subside. Eddie manages to dislodge him from Bobby and set him in the chair next to the bed.
“It's good to see you, Eddie.” Bobby says, opening his arms to the man. Eddie hugs him tightly.
“Next time you want me to come visit just call, okay?” Eddie jokes.
“Deal.” Bobby laughs patting him on the back. Eddie stands next to Buck, as Athena comes and sits on the bed next to Bobby. May and Harry have disappeared.
“Buck, are you okay?” Bobby asks, concern written all over his face. “No offense kid, but you look awful. What happened to your hands?”
“Uh, I just had a little accident in the kitchen at home.” Buck says, not making eye contact with anyone.
“Does that accident have anything to do with Hen calling me last night because you two weren't answering your phones?” Athena asks, lifting an eyebrow at them.
“Yeah.” Eddie answers for Buck. He knows Maddie told everyone that Buck finally broke last night. “I took care of him though.”
“I'm sure you did.” Athena smiled, and Eddie blushed. “You both look like you could use some coffee. Why don't we leave Buck and Bobby to talk, Eddie?”
“Yeah.” Eddie agrees. “I'll grab you something to eat too.” He tells Buck, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “I know you haven't eaten in almost 48 hours.” Eddie knows he is basically tattling on Buck to Bobby, but he feels that it is necessary.
“Kid.” Bobby sighs as Eddie and Athena walk out of the room.
“Was it bad when you got home last night?” Athena asks as they walk toward the elevators. “Maddie didn't say much in her text.”
“It was so bad Athena.” Eddie sighs. “He and I are going to be spending at least a day fixing the kitchen. Once I am able to pry him away from Bobby.”
“I'm going to let them have their chat. Then I'll let the others know what's happening, and you will take him home. Maybe force him to sleep some more.” Athena says, “Is it true that he hasn't eaten in two days?”
“Possible longer.” Eddie sighs as they step into the elevator. “I know he hasn't eaten since I got here. And after what happened to the kitchen, I'm pretty positive I'm right.”
“We will get him some food for now.” Athena reassures him. “Take it one step at a time.”
“Yeah.” Eddie agrees “One step at a time.”
They arrive at the cafeteria and Eddie sets out on his mission. He knows Buck generally hates hospital food, but he also knows Cedars Sinai has a chocolate muffin Buck absolutely loves. He finds one left and grabs it along with a blueberry one for himself. He also gets a bottle of water knowing Buck is probably dehydrated too. He meets back up with Athena after paying and he notices she is coffee less and gives her a look.
“Harry and May went to get us real coffee.” Athena says. “They should be back soon.”
They meet Harry and May in the waiting room outside Bobby's room. Eddie graciously accepts the large cup of coffee May hands him. The first swig he takes tastes like heaven.
“It seemed like they were talking about something serious when I looked in.” May says. “I didn't want to interrupt.”
“Properly for the best.” Athena says. “I don't think Buck’s ‘I’m Fines’ will work on Bobby. He’ll get through to Buck.”
“Hopefully after this we will all be on the path to being fine.” Eddie smiles.
“He's got you to help.” Athena says, smiling at him. “I'm going to call the others. Take him his muffin and water.” She pats his shoulder and walks away to make her calls.
Eddie knocks on the door, just in case, and walks in. “Got you a muffin and some water.” Eddie tells Buck. “If you eat that and drink the water we can stop at In-N-Out on the way home.” Buck smiles and accepts the food and drink. “Athena is calling the others, so you got about 30 minutes before we gotta go and let the others have some time with cap.” Buck opens his mouth to argue. “You can come back tomorrow, Buck. But you aren't the only one who missed him. Let the others have their time.” Buck closes his mouth and nods.
“How are you doing Eddie?” Bobby asks him. “Is everything getting better in Texas?”
“Yeah, you could say that.” Eddie smiles. “Chris and I had a long talk about things. We are finally getting to a good place. The house is already loads better than what it was when I moved there. So that's a plus.”
“I'm glad to hear it's working out.” Bobby says, giving him a smile. “We do miss you though.”
“I miss you all too, Cap.” Eddie says. “I miss home.” Bobby smiles at him then looks at Buck, who is engrossed with his muffin, then back to him. Eddie blushes.
“Home misses you, I'm sure.” Bobby says knowingly. “There is always a place here for you.”
“Thanks Cap.” Eddie smiles. “I know Chris will be happy to know you are okay when we FaceTime him tonight.”
There's a knock on the door and May pokes in her head.
“Hey Mom said Chim and Hen should be here soon.” May says.
“That means our time is up.” Eddie stands “Let's go Buck, we can get some real food in you. Maybe figure out where your phone has disappeared to.”
Buck looks like he wants to argue, but sighs in defeat. “Okay. But we are coming back tomorrow.” He turns to Bobby. “And as soon as I find my phone I am going to be texting you.”
“I'll make sure Athena gets me my phone and charger.” Bobby smiles. “I'll be okay Kid. Go home and take care of yourself.”
“I love you.” Buck says and wraps the man in a hug. “I'll text you as soon as I find my phone.”
“I love you too.” Bobby says. “Now go before Athena physically drags you out.”
“We will see you tomorrow Cap.” Eddie says leaning in for his own hug. “I'm really glad you're okay.”
“Me too.” Bobby says, then drops his voice. “Take care of him Eddie.”
“I got him Bobby.” Eddie reassures him. “We will see you tomorrow.” He then gently but firmly guides Buck out the door.
“I thought I was gonna have to fight you more honestly.” Athena laughs when they come walking out.
“I'm only leaving because Eddie manhandled me out of the room.” Buck pouts. “We will be back tomorrow. Let us know if you need anything.”
“We will be fine, Buck.” Athena hugs him. “You have been taking care of everyone for the last two weeks. Now it's time for you to take care of yourself.”
“I got him, Athena.” Eddie assures her. “He is gonna get some food in him, and then we are gonna relax the rest of the day. Ending the day with a FaceTime with a very excited 14-year-old.”
“Okay go.” Athena pushes them toward the elevators. “Before the others get here and start asking why you look the way you do.”
“Bye Athena.” Buck says as they step on the elevator. Once the doors close, he lets out a heavy sigh. “He's alive.”
“He's alive Buck.” Eddie smiles at him, pulling Buck into a hug.
Buck sighs with relief. “Can I get a milkshake when we stop at In-N-Out?” Buck asks, mostly into Eddie’s shoulder.
“I will get you whatever you want, as long as you promise to eat.” Eddie says, rubbing Bucks back.
Eddie ends up driving them home. Stopping for the promised milkshake and way too many burgers. They sit on the couch instead of at the table to devour their food. Eddie isn’t surprised when Buck only makes it through half of what he ordered.
“I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach.” Buck sighs, leaning back into the couch. “Why did you let me order so much?”
“I was just excited for In-N-Out.” Eddie laughs. “Also, the fact you were actually eating. I was getting worried.”
“Sorry.” Buck says softly, looking down. “I just hadn’t had an appetite."
“I know.” Eddie says, reaching for Buck’s knee. “But you know in order to take care of others, you have to take care of yourself first.” Buck nods. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I really need to find my phone.” Buck sighs. “I am pretty sure it’s somewhere in ground zero.” He points towards the kitchen.
“I’ll go find it.” Eddie says standing up. “I’ll also grab the portable charger so you can charge while you answer the million messages from your sister.” Buck laughs.
When Eddie steps into the kitchen we can see the chaos more clearly now that he isn’t focused on Buck. He isn’t sure where they are going to start when they clean it up, but it will definitely take an entire day. He’s careful where his steps, not wanting to embed glass in his boots. He glances around the counters for any signs of Buck’s phone. Luckily with his next step he manages to kick something with the toe of his boot. When he looks down, he sees Buck's phone, it is covered in flour. He picks it up and heads out of the kitchen towards the bathroom to clean it up. He then grabs the portable charger Buck keeps in the drawer of his bedside table.
“Okay.” Eddie announces as he walks back into the living room. “We are charging and we...” He stops when he sees Buck asleep. Eddie smiles and sets the phone down on the coffee table. He carefully moves Buck to lay down on the couch and covers him with a blanket. “Enjoy your nap.” Eddie says and runs his hand through Buck's hair. “Guess I am going to get a start on cleaning up.” Eddie heads back to the kitchen.
Eddie was stepping out of the shower by the time Buck woke up. “Hey.” Eddie says running a towel through his still damp hair. “You feeling better?”
“I’m just really confused.” Buck said, blinking slowly, like he was trying to make sense of the world. “Bobby. That wasn’t a dream, right?”
“No.” Eddie reassures him. “I actually texted everyone that you passed out after food, so they didn’t worry about you not answering texts. I started with Bobby, and he thanked me for taking care of you.” Buck lets out a heavy breath at this.
“Good. That’s good.” Buck whispers. “Was I out for long?”
“About 3 hours.” Eddie answers. “I was honestly going to wake you up soon. Just so you would be able to sleep tonight.”
“What did you get up to while I slept?” Buck asks, stretching and standing up.
“I got the flour and glass cleaned up in the kitchen. Figured the plans for Friday are canceled now, so we can get to work on fixing everything else then.”
Buck blushes and looks at the ground. “You don’t have to do that. I can clean it up. I am the one who destroyed it because I got upset about an apron.”
“Buck, we both know it was about a lot more than an apron.” Eddie places his hand on his shoulder. His thumb immediately going to the spot by his collarbone. “And of course I am going to help you fix it. You did the exact same thing for me one time, remember?”
“That was different Eddie.” Buck argues.
“It absolutely is not.” Eddie says firmly. “You were in a mental health emergency. I am just upset it took me way longer to get to you, than it took for you to get to me when it happened.”
“Well, I didn’t have a Christopher to let you know what was happening.” Buck smiled.
“Speaking of Christopher, go take a shower.” Eddie demands. “We need to FaceTime him, and you are not getting out of it this time. So go make yourself look more human so he doesn’t worry.”
“Okay, Okay.” Buck surrenders. “Give me thirty minutes.” And he heads off to the bathroom.
Thirty minutes later they are crammed together on the couch and calling Chris. He answers immediately.
“Hey Dad.” Then he notices Buck is there too, smiling like he just won the lottery. “Buck!”
“Hey Bud.” Buck says his voice full of joy. “How are you?”
“I’m okay.” Chris says. “Tia Sophia keeps forgetting to get me orange juice though. I am about to riot. I need my vitamin C in the morning.”
Eddie rolls his eyes at the teen. “If your vitamin C intake is so important, we will just get supplements for you to take. Stop torturing your Tia over orange juice.”
“It's the principle of the matter, Dad.” Chris says, rolling his eyes.
“Anyway. We have something important to tell you, Bud.” Eddie says.
“Did you two finally get together? And now the women of LA can sleep in peace at night knowing there is no threat of accidentally dating either of you.” Chris sasses.
Eddie chokes and immediately turns red. He looks at Buck who is not doing much better. Eddie is pretty sure he has never seen Buck’s face that color before.
“Uh, your dad and I are just friends Chris.” Buck stutters out.
“Chris.” Eddie slightly shakes his head, trying to single his kid to shut up. “We are calling because we got the best news today. We don’t know how, but Bobby is alive.”
“Well, I already knew that.” Chris rolls his eyes. “Harry texted the group chat hours ago.”
“Well okay then.” Eddie rolls his eyes in response.
“Wow. Now I see where he gets it from.” Buck laughs. Both Diazs scoff at the comment, sending Buck into hysterics. “Yep, that’s your kid.”
“Well, I was excited to see you, but that ship has sailed.” Chris scoffs.
“Nooooo” Buck whines, “You definitely don’t have the same attitude as your dad. You are hilarious and your dad is such a bore.”
“I literally fed you not 3 hours ago.” Eddie deadpans. “Even got you that secret menu shake that you only drank half of.”
Christopher laughs at both of them. “You guys are okay now, right?” He asks seriously.
“We will be bud.” Eddie answers. “Not completely okay yet, but we will be.”
“Okay, well I’m gonna go then. Denny and I have a Fortnite session planned."
“Well, we won’t keep you then. Love you, Bud.” Eddie says, shaking his head.
“Love you too Dad. Love you, Buck. I’ll talk to you guys later.” And with a wave he hangs up.
“Remember when he was obsessed with us?” Buck asks.
“I think that ship has sailed unfortunately.” Eddie laughs. “You should really check in with your sister. I am sure she is worried. I am going to order us a pizza. Regular place okay?”
“We really aren’t gonna talk about it?” Buck asks.
“Nope” Eddie is already up and looking at his phone.
“Yeah, the regular place is fine.” Buck sighs and grabs his phone to go through the million messages he has.
By the time the pizza gets there Buck seems to be done with his phone. Eddie turns on a movie and they eat in silence. By the time the credits are rolling Buck has fallen asleep again against Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie smiles at him. He knows he needs to get Buck into bed, otherwise the man is going to wake up with a stiff neck. But Eddie just wants to sit there for a minute and feel content. He knows tomorrow Buck is gonna wake him up early so he can go see Bobby as soon as visiting hours start. Then Eddie is gonna have to be the bad guy to force him to leave again so others can also visit. He knows they need to come up with a game plan to fix the kitchen. He needs to tell Buck they are coming home, that Texas was never home because he wasn’t with them. He needs to tell Buck how he feels things that are more than just friendship. But for now, Eddie closes his eyes, snuggles closer to Buck, and chooses joy.