Chapter Text
Ocean chose herself. Of course she did. She could of chosen someone that deserved it.
But no, she greedily chose herself.
She thought she would be able to forget about the choir. About the accident.
She could move on with her life, graduate, go to college..
But she soon realised she might never forget.
Especially with these, well.. circumstances.
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When she first woke up, she was in the hospital.
The disgusting hospital.
She had an IV strapped to her arm, bandages covering her legs.
Scratches and scars left and right over her body, making her wince every time she moved.
The white bright lights above her glared down, almost haunting her.
She ran a hand (painfully) through her hair, and sat up.
Immediatley, she noticed how uncomfortable the bed was.
She shifted around, ultimately just giving up and leaning against the pillow.
She looked around boredly, examining her surroundings.
The walls were a shade of white, parts looking like they were peeling.
The window was dirty, but atleast there was one. She would probably suffocate without a window.
Before she knew it, doctors and nurses were assessing her left and right, calling her "lucky to be alive" and "a miracle!"
I mean, sure she was lucky to survive.. but nobody would know or believe her about what happened.
Mischa would of been able to be with his fiancé, Noel could of started writing, and become a poet.
Constance could of took over her parents cafe, or moved away..
Ricky.. well, as much as she hated to admit it she didnt know what he would do. She was so rude to him, and she regretted it.
And maybe they could of found that girls identity.. she hated how she didnt remember even in life what her name was.
But no, she chose herself over her friends.
They were freaking rockstars. She was just there.
She couldn't change it now, couldnt go back and choose someone else.
So she had to live with it. Maybe get therapy, study more..
Yeah, she would be fine... hopefully.
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After a week or two, she was discharged from the hospital.
She was given some random sweatpants and a plain brown shirt to wear.
It was really uncomfortable, but she had to deal with it until she got home.
She knew damn well her parents wouldnt pick her up, so she had to walk.
The distance was from the hospital and her house was an entire hour.
The walk was draining. Her legs dragged infront of one another, as she almost fell asleep multiple times.
Every time she looked at the sky, it seemed off.
Obviously it was blue, but the shade was just wrong.. she tried to ignore it but she couldn't shake the feeling.
Once she finally made it, she snuck through the back door and slipped straight into her room.
She did NOT want to greet her parents. She knew they probably wouldn't care, so she just decided to stay hidden.
Somehow they didn't try to cook meth or weed in her room, which she was greatful for.
But they did take the lock off her door, so she just grabbed another one from her dresser, and clicked it on again.
At this point, she had multiple locks hidden around her room because her parents kept taking them off.
She saw a photo frame of the choir on top of her dresser, and turned it face down.
But she took it back up. They all looked so.. happy.
Mischa was not on his phone, which was crazy. He was standing next to her, actually smiling for once.
Noel and Constance stood together, looking like the best of friends.
Ricky and.. that girl were next to eachother, but the girls face was covered by her hands.
Okay, she didnt like to keep calling her "that girl.."
She would try and find out her identity, but for now she would call her.. Savannah.
Well, she knew Savannah. They hung out a lot, but for the life of her she couldn't remember her name.
And that? That made her feel disgusting.
She turned the frame down again, not being able to comprehend she betrayed them.
She walked off and laid on her bed for a few hours, just staring at the ceiling.
Remembering that moment. That moment when she chose herself.
She felt her stomach twist, and tears pricked at her eyes.
She was exhausted, and just really wanted to sleep..
So she closed her eyes. Took a deep breath, and eventually fell asleep.
And she was back there in that warehouse.
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"How am I supposed to choose?.." She stammered, looking at her friends.
"You all deserve to live.. I- I can't just choose one!" She snapped, staring at Karnak.
Then it clicked. What if she didn't choose anyone..
"I.." Her voice trailed off, as she contemplated her desicion.
Maybe choosing herself is the best desicion.
She closed her eyes, clearing her throat.
"I choose.. myself."
She opened her eyes, turning around to face the portal.
She tried to change, she really did!
But maybe she couldn't change. And maybe thats what was best.
She mouthed out a sorry, the regret sinking in.
"As you wish." Karnak announced, opening the portal.
"Ocean O'Conell Rosenburg, born december 22nd."
She stepped forward, wiping a tear before she fully teleported.
Then she snapped back to reality, waking up in a cold sweat.
She curled up into a ball, letting tears fall freely.
"Why did I choose myself?-" She choked out, talking to herself and herself only.
She would never talk to Constance again.
She would never have movie nights with Noel.
She'd never hang out at Mischas.
No more being fascinated by Rickys drawings.
She couldn't even remember what Savannah's name was.
She would be in a sea of lonliness, having nothing. And nobody.
She remembered the times she'd go to Mischas house to tutor him (unwillingly,) and they'd end up laughing together by the end of the night.
God she missed him.
The times her and Constance would bake cupcakes, crossaints, basically every pastry that exists.
But she'd never have that again. That comfort.
Because she had to face reality, she was alone.
It was done. No second chances.
It was getting late, so she decided to try and sleep again.
She left the lights on, changing into her pajamas and climbing into bed.
It was 2am. She could not sleep for the life of her.
She tossed and turned, nothing worked.
Then she felt a shiver up her back.
She sat up, her eyes widening.
"Hello, Ocean."