Work Text:
[Tape clicks on]
[The soft sounds of wind; light rain in the distance][
Lightly anguished moans from poor unfortunate souls trapped in The Lonely]
[Footsteps; two pairs of feet stepping across rocks]
Jon
So in your domain, all you did was talk to... yourself?
Martin
(Exasperated) For the sixth time, yes, Jon. I talked to myself. A second myself, in some kind of messed up, post-apocalyptic form of... um, self therapy?
Jon
Fifth.
Martin
What?
Jon
It was the fifth time, actually. Not the sixth.
Martin
Jon.
Jon
Right, yes, not the point.
Martin
(Thoroughly sick of this topic already) So what is the point here? Because we've been talking about this for hours now. You know, for a boyfriend who's literally an omniscient being in the service of an all-seeing cosmic eyeball, the concept of me talking to a second version of myself conjured up by my own personal loneliness bubble seems weirdly hard for you to grasp."
Jon
No it's not - it's not... hard. It's just...
Martin
Just what?
Jon
Two of you.
Martin
(Absolutely not getting it) Yes, there were two of me.
Jon
Two Martin Blackwoods.
Martin
(The picture of utter frustration) Yes! Why are you so hung up on this?"
Jon
(Suspicious silence)
Martin
Jon?
Jon
(Continued, somehow even more suspicious silence)
Martin
(Ominous boyfriend voice) Jon?
Jon
I mean. Think about it. Two yous.
Martin
Why does two of me matter so-
(Gets it) Oh. Oh my god, Jon!
Jon
(Defensive) I'm just saying!
Martin
(Disgusted beyond reason) That's... I don't even have the words to describe what that is!
Jon
(Awkward shame silence)
Martin
(Equally awkward silence)
Jon
(Ill-advised attempt to make light of the situation) So that's probably a 'no' to going back to the loneliness bubble?
Martin
(Indignant and offended) Absolutely not!
[Miffed poet boyfriend steps angrily stalking away]
Jon
Martin! Martin, it was just a-
(Defeated sighing) It was worth a shot, I suppose.
[Tape clicks off]