Chapter Text
Janet Weiss had just been through a very, very unusual weekend. So when she was yanked out of bed by Magenta and dragged out into the hallway, she didn’t think much of it. Asking questions, she quickly learned, didn’t get you anywhere in this castle. Brad was a different story. In fact, she could hear him receive his own rude awakening.
Janet peeped into her fiance’s room, to find him frantically grabbing the nearest pieces of clothing. His glasses had already fallen from their perch on the bedside table and onto the ground. She smiled, before gently plucking them off the floor.
“I think you might need these..”
Brad froze for a moment, regaining his breath.
“Why aren’t you getting ready? He suddenly locked eyes with Janet, his voice rushed and more frantic than usual.
“What?”
“We’re going, they’re taking us somewhere, anywhere, I don’t know!” Brad thrust a letter into her hand. The seal on the crumpled red envelope had already been broken, revealing stark, black stationary.
“The participants of mission 25-A are required to depart from their vessel immediately on grounds of revealing sensitive information to the general earth public. We ask that you make your way to the state known as California with the two unknown earthlings for Judgement. Travel in a manner described by an artifact we have attached to this message.
Thank you for your compliance, may we dance once more to our dark refrain.
When Janet finished reading, Brad was nowhere to be seen. Which meant there was one thing to do. Just go along with it, like always. If Brad was packing for this “Trip”, than that’s what she’d do right now.
Making her way down the hall again, she was met with many unusual sights. More unusual than the usual unusual, that is. Columbia was carrying a wobbly pile of Columbia Adjacent Things(™) down the hallway. The size of the towering mass in relation to the size of Columbia didn’t quite make sense. Then again, Columbia never having ingested a single milligram of caffeine in her life also didn’t make sense.
A bunch of perfume bottles lay scattered on the floor, some broken, some with lids missing. A normal sight in the castle, besides the fact that it was Frank trying to pick them up. Janet had been there for a single crazy night, but the sight of Frank taking care of his own broken belongings was enough to leave her slack-jawed.
“Well?” He looked up at Janet, slightly miffed. When she continued staring, he let out a long, hard sigh (It actually sounded closer to a moan). “It would be wise for you to get down, and get cleaning.”
“I-”
“Magenta and Riff Raff are occupying themselves with the heavy lifting…” He rolled his eyes. So I must take care of the essentials.”
“Essentials?”
“Essentials. Stocking the right amount of Eau De Parfum, canceling my Fredricks Of Hollywood orders. That sort of thing.”
As Janet began to walk away, she was hit in the back of the head with a magazine. The front page had the words “HONCHO” displayed in bold letters, accompanied by a burly, shirtless man on the cover.
“For the ride, Janet. I’m feeling…generous.”