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Remus had done it. He had gone too far, and now he would be executed, Logan was sure of it. He wanted to close his eyes as the court fell silent, but something about Remus wouldn't let him close his eyes. Perhaps it was how unphased he looked. Or how, when he was kicked to the ground and restrained by a guard, all he could do was smile and laugh. He was insane, that was certain. This was only confirmed when Remus was asked how he wanted to be executed, as was his right: The breaking wheel. The court gasped, and Remus’s smile broadened, his eyes wild. Logan didn’t know what to think as he looked down at the former jester. What kind of masochist would willingly choose to die in the most horrific way imaginable? Would the king even comply?
The King did not comply. Remus was quickly thrown into the dungeons since he was supposedly “Infested by evil spirits” and “Not fit to choose his fate,” which Logan had to concede wasn’t a horribly illogical leap to make. Though now his curiosity was piqued, and despite his better judgment, he decided to visit the former jester.
“Remus?” Logan called out into the dark cell. Silence. He called out again, but was cut off by a sudden WHAM as Remus slammed against the bars and gripped them strongly, looking up at Logan with madness in his lime green eyes.
“Well, if it isn’t the Earl of Analyein. Come to gawk at the insane man yourself, hmm?” He pushed his face against the bars, squishing his lips like a duck. Logan kept his face neutral as he studied how quickly Remus’s outfit had deteriorated overnight. What used to be a vibrant green and red jester's outfit was now dusty, ripped, and unkept. Logan took note of the way the jester's top was coming off, revealing his shoulder. The Earl tried to avert his eyes to remain appropriate.
He met Remus’s eyes, still fascinated by the madness that lay within. “I thought it only appropriate to see you off.”
Remus snorted. “Come on, Mr Earl Grey Bore. Just admit you’re intrigued by me.” He tilted his head, his lips twisting against the cell bars. Logan would never say it aloud, but Remus was right. He had always been too curious for his own good.
“That’s Earl or Earl of Analyein to you, jester.” He spat out, more harshly than he had meant, honestly.
“Yeah, yeah, hey, at least you’re easy on the eyes, Earl stick-up-his-ass.” He smirked, leaning away from the bars, his hands still gripping them tightly.
Logan sputtered and frowned. “You’re mad!”
Remus just smiled. “So I’ve been told.”
They stood in silence for a while before Logan spoke up. “What… brought you to this point? Of madness?”
Remus shrugged. “I stopped caring what people thought and what happened to me and decided just to say what I thought and do what I want.”
Logan looked at him, confused. “But that led to you being in jail and being prepared for execution.”
Remus nodded. “And damn, what a fun way to get here. We all die, specs. I just decided to choose when and have fun till then.”
Logan wasn’t sure what to say to that. This… peasant… intrigued him. There was something exhilarating about what Remus was saying. And perhaps Logan was bored… or perhaps he was a little mad himself. Whatever it may be, Logan was drawn to this man. So he did the unthinkable.
“That’s… admirable. And please… call me Logan.”
Remus’s eyebrows shot up, then he smiled. “Logan…” He articulated, liking how it felt on his tongue. He’s sure Logan's mouth would feel just as good on his tongue. Remus shook his head and stumbled back from the bars. Where had that thought come from? Never mind that.
“Soooo… Logan. What’s your deal? Why are you down here being intimate with a criminally insane Jester?” He plopped on the floor like a kid waiting to hear a story from their parents. Logan couldn’t help the corner of his mouth turning up in a faint smile.
“Well, my mind has always been more tuned for science than folklore. So when I saw you in court… and the rest of the nobles were convinced you were possessed by the devil, I just had to see it myself.”
“And…?”
“Pardon?”
“Well, am I infested with evil spirits or not, Doc?” Remus asked, amused by Logan's matter-of-fact way of speaking.
Logan sputtered at being called “Doc”. “I’m not a doctor.”
“Nooo, but you wanna be, huh?” He teased, wiggling his finger through the bars towards the Earl's face. Logan’s face turned red as he was overwhelmed. Something about that reaction unlocked a part of Remus, and he made a mischievous grin. Oh, this was too fun.
Logan looked away from Remus’ gaze and crossed his arms. “Though I do not think you’re possessed, I do think you are insane.”
“Yeah? And why’s that? Because I’m not playing this kingdom's stupid game? Or is it something else?” He smirked and turned around, leaning back to see Logan upside down.
Logan looked down at Remus and raised an eyebrow. “I’m sure I don’t know what you mean.”
“Oh, come on, pretty boy. I fascinate you, don’t I?” He smirked, mostly just messing with Logan at this point since he was bored.
Something within Logan shifted. His stomach felt full of butterflies, and Remus’ eyes suddenly shone just a little brighter. This man was messing with him; he was sure of it. But god… no matter how much his mind screamed that it was a trap, the honey tasted too good. “Yes.” It was all he could allow himself to say without saying something he’s sure he’d regret. This man was a criminal… but something about him was so charming.
“Just yes? Something bothering you, Lo?” Remus looked so smug as he lay on his back and crossed his legs, letting the top leg bounce playfully. He could just barely see the mask Logan was trying so desperately to hide behind slipping. And Remus was so excited to see what was underneath. Perhaps Mr Goody Two-Shoes was more off his rocker than previously thought.
The Earl stayed silent, fighting to remain stonefaced as he looked down at the Former Jester. Finally, he sat down and crossed his legs, sitting more at Remus’ level. Remus smirked and turned onto his stomach, kicking his feet in the air like a schoolgirl. Logan sighed.
“I told you what I want. Now tell me what you want. What's your goal? Are you really so willing to die horrifically for one bad joke?” Something about how he spoke seemed genuinely concerned. He was starting to care for this deranged man somehow.
Remus shrugged. “ To live a life I like, I guess. I spent my whole life lying and hiding because society thought I was weird or evil. I guess I just got sick of it.” He said it matter-of-factly, but something inside him broke at finally saying those words. He felt trapped. Forced into a role he’d rather not play, all because the people in power disagreed fundamentally with who he was. And no matter how hard he tried… he could never stop being the monster they all saw.
“I don’t think you're evil,” Logan stated, his eyes wide like he’d just realized something. Remus sat up and looked at Logan, studying him as if looking for the trap.
“You will.” He said simply.
“I… I don’t think so.” The Earl blushed and rubbed his neck, avoiding Remus’ eyes. “I honestly admire you… You’re much more brave than I’ll ever be.”
Remus’s eyebrows shot up in shock. Oh. He studied the Earl's face. He was beet red, avoiding eye contact with Remus at all costs. So Remus decided to live up to what Logan thought of him and do something either ridiculously brave or ridiculously stupid. He reached through the bars, grabbed Logan by the coat, and pulled him into what must be the most awkward kiss in existence.
At first, Logan welcomed the kiss, but once he finally processed what was going on, he jumped back to his feet, gently touching his lips, which tingled with the remaining feeling of Remus.
“What are you doing? There are so many reasons why that was a STUPID move!” Remus just chuckled and stood up. God, that felt good to do.
Logan was dumbfounded. He knew he should feel mad or disgusted— But all he felt was dizzy. Was this what being flustered felt like? He was always told men couldn’t feel this way. Especially not because of another man. Perhaps he was just as broken as Remus. Or perhaps neither of them was broken… and it was society that was wrong.
He let out a loud sigh and hid his face in his hands. Forget him falling for a man. He’d explore that later. What really concerned him now was that this was a criminal on death row.
“Why did you do that?” He asked simply, hoping Remus’ answer would at least distract him from his racing thoughts.
“Because I wanted to. And I thought you did too.”
His answer was so simple. So obvious. So why was Logan so frustrated by it?
“Do you even realize the weight of what you’ve done? Putting aside what society thinks, you’re on death row and now—” He pauses, looking up at Remus. “Now I care way more than I should.”
The absolute pain in Logan's eyes silences Remus. He had just been acting impulsively, living his last moments to the fullest and leaning into his desires. He hadn’t considered how the Earl would feel because of it.
Suddenly, a group of guards barged into the hallway, and Logan straightened up, putting his mask back on effortlessly. It scared Remus how quickly Logan could pretend not to care.
“Earl! We apologize, but visiting time is over. This man is to be hanged tonight.” Remus snorted and rolled his eyes, leaning against the bars and looking at Logan. The Earl avoided Remus’ gaze, which hurt. But he could see the faint pink on his face. He’d take what he could get.
Logan nodded and headed for the door. “Of course. I thank thee for the time and can say with certainty that this prisoner is mad. When is he to be executed?” He looked back at the guards, seeing Remus’s crestfallen face from the corner of his eye. He tried not to wince.
“When the 11th bell tolls, m’lord.” The Earl nods in thanks and walks out of the dungeon, his heart aching as he hears the guards force Remus out of the cells and kick him to the floor. The guards were always so brutish—
Later, the time for the execution came. Logan was debating if he’d even want to watch, but he knew if he didn’t, his absence would be noticed. He wished he could convince the guards to let him visit Remus one last time, but he doubted that would be allowed. However, to his surprise, Logan turned left towards the cells anyway.
Once he arrived, again to his surprise, he was left alone in Remus’s cell. Apparently, Remus’ final wish had been to see him privately. And Jesters were always given proper decorum when on death row. Perk of the trade, he supposed.
Now here he stood, in the dark of Remus’ cell, his heart beating out of his chest. Remus walked out of the shadows, a faint smile on his face as he approached Logan and placed a gentle hand on his cheek. Logan began to tear up but leaned forward to kiss Remus regardless. He held him tight, refusing to let him go. A love so deep had never enveloped him so, but with Remus, it came easily. He’s sure the cruel world was laughing at him now. His first love would be dead by sunset, and there was nothing he could do.
The kiss lasted a long while, becoming desperate and sorrowful. Every time they stopped to breathe, it felt like wasting such precious, fleeting seconds. Logan felt awful getting so attached to what was essentially a walking corpse, but he couldn’t stop his heart. All he could do was make do with the short time left.
Accursed was his curious mind… for it led him down the path of endless heartbreak.