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Beatdown VS The World

Summary:

Nerissa finds herself at the center of a conspiracy where 7 (evil?) Exes attempt to win back Gigi Murin's love. Can Nerissa fight off every other potential ships (Up to 7) and keep Gigi's heart?! Can the writer fill the gaps and make a playful romance between lengthy bouts of over the top, overly choregraphed anime violence?!

Notes:

Beatdown VS The World is a very on the nose parody of Scott Pilgrim VS The World and will share multiple scenes that are heavily inspired (mainly) from the movie of which I love dearly. The goal is to just play around with the idea and also watch Nerissa Ravencroft throw absolute hands. This isn't a very serious story and is more just for fun and for me to put words on pages. It is written on the fly and read over only once for glaring issues.

Updates will be iffy. Don't take this seriously, it's just all good fun and silly!

Chapter 1: Death's Apprentice

Chapter Text

Nerissa grunted, using a mic staff to block against a scythe blade that was pushing her down to one knee. The woman ahead of her growled, pink long hair, magenta eyes glaring at her. Darkness pouring off of her, using all of her might to push down against Nerissa.

As far as second dates go, I’d say this one is going pretty well. It’s definitely not my worst, if you could believe it. I brought my new girlfriend to see my favorite band, The Bloodflames. Have you heard of them? They’re just absolutely killer and their lead singer is drop dead gorgeous. Don’t tell Gigi I said that. Anyway, I went to go get some drinks while her and my best friend stayed back to chit chat, this is all pretty standard procedure you know? Go get my new lady-friend something to drink, friend butters her up wingman style and who knows, if I play my cards right, I might even get to go home with her.

Standard procedure did not go as planned when little Miss Scythe-Farmer showed up.

The music was blasting, vibrating the walls of the building, threatening to blow the roof off. The Bloodflames were playing and they were absolutely shredding the building, Nerissa could feel the music in her core, in her soul. It was perfect, this was her element, the barrage of sound, the mass of moving people, the dancing and life going on around her. Nerissa spied her girlfriend from the upper balcony, a short girl with two-toned hair and soft pink eyes, wearing an overly large and busy hoodie. Standing near her was another girl with two-toned hair, black and white, with yellow eyes that pierced through you. A much more goth aesthetic laid upon her. Gigi, the girl in orange, was a talker, a certified yapper and Shiori, the goth one, was grinning casually listening to whatever the topic was.

Nerissa went across the open dance floor, stealing a glance at the blood haired woman on stage as she grabbed the microphone and sang her heart out. The black haired woman could swear the room became hotter as Lady Bloodflame (That was her title of course) sang her heart out. Nerissa felt the soft vibrations under her booted feet. She reached the bar, pulled her wallet from her inner jacket pocket and paid for a couple of beers. She took them up in her hands after thanking the man at the bar, she twirled on her feet to avoid colliding with another party goer as the lights suddenly cut out, causing the whole building to go pitch black. People yelled and screamed, phones flickered on trying to illuminate and see what was going on.

Then the lights came back on, blood red with pink, and a heavy bass beat began pounding from the speakers, thudding and sending vibrations in waves across the dance floor. Nerissa twisted this way and that as she began pushing her way through the crowd to the middle of the floor. Someone shouted with a grunt, and then Gigi suddenly yelled.

“NERISSA DUCK!!”

Nerissa twisted and looked up at Gigi who was half hanging over the rail with Shiori holding her hoodie to prevent her from falling. She was pointing down into the crowd. Nerissa turned to look and a fist flew out of the crowd directly at her. Her red eyes widened as it collided with the right side of her face, causing her to stumble back and collide with the wall of people as they began clearing out the dance floor.

The pain was dull and her right cheek ached, bruising as the crowd of people threw her forward in a rebound. She landed on her feet as a woman with pink hair yelled and rushed her, fist ready to go again. “Shit- Shit- What the hell?!” Nerissa yelled.

Shiori yelled from above. “Don’t be a pussy! Punch her back!” She laughed out a cackle.

Nerissa narrowly avoided the next punch, and then actively dodged the third and fourth. She swung one of the bottles out, throwing it at the pink haired woman. She deflected it away and Nerissa threw the other two. The first was blocked but the second collided with her face, stunning her. Nerissa ran forward and punched her across the face and then brought her other fist around and slammed her in the gut. The pink haired attacker stumbled back with a grunt as Nerissa charged her. She jumped into the air, kicking with her legs. The assailant brought her arms up, blocking and deflecting each kick. Nerissa landed and her opponent swept her feet out from under her. Nerissa hit the dance floor hard as the crowd let out an ‘oooh’. She rolled, narrowly avoiding a boot stomp where her head used to be. Stomp after stomp, Nerissa rolled away from them until she spun herself to face her enemy, slammed her hands into the floor, tucked her legs in and then pushed off and threw her feet forward. Nerissa slammed both feet into her opponent’s chest and sent them flying back as she narrowly landed and righted herself. The pink haired woman slammed into the wall of people who cushioned her and then pushed her back into the open dance floor that had become an impromptu combat arena. She grinned as she stood ahead of Nerissa who had gotten into a fighting stance, and was now glaring at her. “What the hell is your problem bitch?!” Nerissa shouted.

She grunted and stood up properly. The pink haired woman wore a black and gold ballcap on her head, a black jacket and dark pants with boots. Black gloves with dull gold studs on the knuckles and torn off white and pink styled shirt under all of it. “My problem is with you, Nerissa Ravencroft!”

“Uhh? Okay? What, did I step on your boots or something? Look at you wrong?” Nerissa laughed as she put her hands on her hips, regarding the shorter woman. “I don’t even know your name, Darling.”

“My name is Mori Calliope and I’m going to be the one to take you down! And win back the heart of the woman I love! Gigi Murin!” She twisted and put her hand over her heart and then outstretched her arm towards Gigi in the upper level.

“What the frig?” Lady Bloodflame said into her mic before snapping her fingers. “Yo! Light boy! Up there!”

The lights in the room suddenly swung around and pointed at Gigi and Shiori. Shiori cleared her throat and stepped out of the light. Gigi shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of her head. “Uhh. Yo, Mori Calliope! Long time uh, long time no see.”

“Long time no see!? That’s all I get from you! Come on man!” Calliope whined. “I’ve missed you! You don’t even text anymore!”

“..Dude, we broke up.” Gigi stepped from foot to foot, looking sheepish. “Like two years ago.”

“Yeah but I thought like, maybe we could do the friends thing, and maybe you know, if we felt we could try again..” Calliope looked up at Gigi, toeing the ground with her boot. Gigi grunted and flopped against the rail, deflating, her arm hanging off the front of it.

“Duuuude. I told you..” Gigi's voice whined awkwardly in annoyance.

“Excuse me? Excuse me? Hello? I’d like to know a little about what is happening here. This pink chick is your ex or something?” Nerissa waved her hand, the lights swept around to her on the dance floor, causing her to squint her eyes.

“‘Pink Chick’? Excuse me?!” Calliope growled at her, stomping a boot. “I”ll have you know, I’m all the rage in the underground rap scene!”

“Oh, I’m sure, Darling.” Nerissa chuckled. “Sorry, I’ve never heard of you. Anyway, Gigi?”

The light swept back up to Gigi who was trying to hide behind the rail now, crouched down, peeking between the black metal bars. “Ergh. Yeah we dated for a few months. She was like my Minecraft girlfriend for a little while. I don’t even know why we were playing it, we kind of both don’t even like the game. Then things progressed and I went to a few of her gigs and shows, we got into some good scraps with deadbeats but after a while. The whole…. ‘Death’s Apprentice’ schtick got to be a bit much and I told her peace.”

Nerissa stared at Gigi, her brow furrowing and her face confused. “Death’s Apprentice?”

“Her music is really awesome though.” Gigi chuckled, ignoring the question from Nerissa. The whole venue suddenly had rapid drum beats as the red lights that flooded the room swirled with darkness and depictions of skeletons and skulls. Nerissa turned back to Calliope who pulled a staff from behind her and it extended before a long blade shot out into a scythe. Nerissa’s red eyes widened as suddenly a long black coat wrapped around Calliope, with teeth jutting from a hood that hung over her head, veiling her face in darkness. Save one glowing magenta eye.

“What the hell…” Nerissa said as Calliope grinned and got into a stance, brandishing the new scythe weapon and launched forward at Nerissa. Nerissa dodged to the right as it swiped down and hit the floor. The dark haired woman stumbled backwards as Calliope ripped it out and twirled in a swipe. Nerissa jumped back and then dashed forward. She slid under the next sideways swipe and kicked Calliope’s legs out from under her. Calliope grunted and hit the ground next to Nerissa as the woman rolled away. Nerissa got up and ran towards the stage and ripped one of the microphone stands off, twisting around just in time to block the blade coming down on her. Calliope pushed her down, grinning under the cloak as darkness poured off of her. Nerissa went down on one knee, grunting as she glared up at Calliope.

So yeah. Now you’re all caught up. I probably need to finish this before I get sent to hell, or whatever this LARPer thinks she can do.

Nerissa grit her teeth and let her arms go slack just enough, the blade cut through the mic stand and she fell back as the scythe jammed into the ground next to her right side. Calliope put her boot on Nerissa’s chest and grinned down at her. “Surrender and I won’t ride your soul down to the underworld.”

“Uhg. Is that really the best battle dialogue you got?” Nerissa grunted as she grabbed Calliope’s boot and shoved up, causing her to lose balance and stumble backwards, letting go of her scythe.

Nerissa stood up and took a breath as she looked at the scythe next to her. She grabbed it and threw it back to Calliope and then looked at Lady Bloodflame and her band. “Give me a good beat, won’t you?”

Lady Bloodflame grinned, her red eyes cutting between them both. She suddenly jumped down into the impromptu dance floor arena, in the middle of them. “I want a good clean fight eh! No below the belts and hair pulling!” She yelled as suddenly blue lights ignited all along the walls of the venue, bathing everything in red and blue. A flame burst into existence on Lady Bloodflame’s chest.

“Mori Calliope! VS! Nerissa Ravencroft!” Lady Bloodflame’s voice boomed in a loud echo without the use of her mic as she jumped back up onto the band stage. She motioned to her band drummer.

“WE ARE THE BLOODFLAMES AND WE’RE GONNA MELT YOUR FACE OFF!!! ONE TWO THREE FIGHT!!!”

The room suddenly shook and vibrated with each slam of the drums and then waves of heavy electric guitars flew out into the crowd. All lights cut and illuminated the combat dance floor as red and blue flames licked at the walls. Elizabeth grabbed her microphone stand and then ripped the mic from it. “Oi! Ravencroft!” She kicked the stand towards Nerissa as Calliope rushed across the distance between them.

Calliope jumped into the air and twirled once, red and black energy poured off her scythe as she brought it around and down. Nerissa caught the mic stand and used it to block Calliope. Energy exploded out from under their feet as red and black suddenly mixed with a surge of blue. Nerissa’s long black hair flowed back as a blue underlying glow appeared, her eyes shined with black slits as she smiled at Calliope.

A complete horn and a broken horn was suddenly sprouting from her head, black feathered wings erupted out from under her hoodie at the small of her back. “So eager, aren’t you?” Blue flames rushed across the microphone stand, warping the once grey metal to black. It twisted and split at the end, producing two sharp prongs in a twin fork.

Elizabeth’s voice exploded out from her mic as she began singing. A loud energetic song mixed with a rapid thumping of drums and the screeches of guitars. Nerissa shoved Calliope back, causing her to flip backwards and land on the ground. Nerissa smirked at her, brandishing her spear off to one side as her wings flapped and she hovered into the air. “You got a little name huh? How about we call me, The Demon Of Sound.”

“Come on!” Calliope yelled as she twirled and slashed her scythe, sending a wave of energy towards Nerissa. Nerissa twisted the spear fork and it converted into a microphone end. She let out a soft hum into it. A soundwave shot out and met Calliope’s slash, cancelling it into an explosion of magic and sparks that illuminated the room briefly.

Nerissa flew down towards Calliope, twisting her weapon back to its combat state. She began stabbing and thrusting it towards The Reaper, who rapidly avoided and deflected each attack, using the staff of her scythe. She slashed and Nerissa flapped her wings, producing wind to push her back out of range.

Lady Bloodflame continued to sing, the flame on her chest grew larger, brighter. One might even say that her blood red hair began to move like flame at the end, dripping hot to the stage below her. The temperature of the room began to rise as the song and battle intensified.

They locked weapons, scythe blade caught between fork ends. They grunted and growled at each other until their weapons were wrenched out of their hands. Scythe and forked spear sticking in the ground away from them. They looked at their weapon and then at each other. Calliope jumped towards Nerissa, kicking her in the chest and then kicking her across the face. Calliope twirled sideways in the air as Nerissa stumbled with a grunt. She flapped her wings and launched herself towards the woman who hit the ground and then suddenly Calliope swung her legs out, spiraling around in a breakdance of whirling feet.

Nerissa narrowly avoided a kick when Calliope stopped her momentum, tucked her feet in and then struck out, launching off the floor as her robes flowed around her. Nerissa was struck again, stumbling backwards and hitting the stage with a grunt. She didn’t have long to recover because Calliope followed this up with a flurry of punches towards Nerissa’s face. Nerissa ducked and dodged left and right as fists flew by her head rapidly.

Calliope punched Nerissa across the face and she grunted as she grabbed Calliope’s arm and shoved her awkwardly away. Calliope staggered as Nerissa rushed her and jumped, putting a bit more oomph into herself as she brought a fist down across Calliope’s face and then brought another around to uppercut her. Calliope’s hood fell back and she grunted and then Nerissa let loose a screech, causing a blast of sound to echo out from her and slam into Calliope. She grabbed at her ears and yelled as all the musical sound in the room died and went silent. Calliope held her head tightly as she cried out deafened. Nerissa walked forward as she continued to let loose the screech, until Calliope melted into the floor and vanished. Nerissa stopped her attack, breathing quickly as sound returned to the room and she looked this way and that. Elizabeth’s singing returned as she let out a throat shredding roar as the room violently shook again.

Nerissa ran for her spear when out of the shadows under her, Calliope came rushing out, arms out stretched as she grabbed Nerissa. They flew into the air as Calliope held Nerissa by the throat and they impacted the ceiling of the room, cracking it. Nerissa clawed at Calliope, she tried to let loose another screech but her throat was being held too tightly. She gagged as she felt air unable to enter her body. Her legs moved and her feet pushed off the ceiling above her, Calliope’s eyes widening as they went back through the air towards the ground. She twisted around and put Nerissa’s back towards the floor and they impacted with a heavy thud that shook the room and cracked the floor.

Calliope grunted as she stood up in the small crater in the room as the music died and everyone watched as the smoke cleared. Lady Bloodflame's hair flicked and danced like flame behind her as she narrowed her eyes. Calliope grabbed her scythe and dragged it along the ground towards Nerissa. “Like I said. I’m going to win Gigi’s heart back… You’re not gonna stop me. How can a Demon stop a Reaper?”

Nerissa grunted on her back as she watched as Calliope came back into view, she hauled her scythe above her head. “Got any last words?” The Reaper asked with a heavy breath. Nerissa coughed, sucking in air and forcing herself to calm.

“Just two. Show’s cancelled!” Nerissa let loose another sound blast from her mouth using the last word, hitting Calliope directly in the head. Calliope stumbled and cried out and swung violently but her ears were ringing and her balance was thrown off. Her scythe hit the ground next to Nerissa as she rolled and pushed herself up. She rushed towards Calliope and ducked forward as she grabbed her around the middle and they crashed together.

The music, drums and guitar kicked up again as Nerissa swiftly got behind Calliope, grabbed her tight around the middle and bent backwards. Calliope flailed and yelled as she was lifted and turned upside down and then the back of her head impacted the ground. At the moment of impact the woman suddenly burst into a pile of coins and prop bones that resembled those from Spirit Halloween…? A number score briefly appeared above them which racked up to 666 before flickering out of existence.

As the impact and burst of coins and fake bones happened, the lights went out and so did the music die. The power came back and everything was normal again, Nerissa laid there on the floor staring up at the cracked ceiling with a bruised cheek and bloody nose. “Uhg.”

“Nerissa Ravencroft wins!” Lady Bloodflame called out and the crowd cheered.

“Outta the way! Outta the way!” Shiori yelled, cutting through the crowd as her and Gigi pushed their way through and met Nerissa. “Sheesh, you kicked her ass huh!”

“Doesn’t feel like it.” She said as Gigi offered her hand to help Nerissa. Shiori meanwhile was trying to sweep up coins into her hand and pocket the change.

“Oh. Here, check this out.” Shiori said as she offered a black coin to Nerissa, one with Calliope Mori’s face on one side and on the other the number 7. Nerissa took it with her free hand, mulling it around in her palm.

“That’s weird. Right? That’s weird.”

“Lil bit.” Gigi said sheepishly. “Are you okay? You can really fight!”

Nerissa grinned sheepishly, before she beamed in a smile. “Of course! But uhhh…. Your ex is kinda crazy.”

“Yeah, some of my exes are a bit, woohoowoohoo.” Gigi grabbed Nerissa’s left hand and arm, hugging it close. “Can we uhh.. Can we go..?”

“Oh, yeah. Yeah uh… I think that’s a good idea..” Nerissa said as she rubbed at the bit of blood from her nose with the back of her hand as a tired looking middle aged man wandered on stage.

“Uh, so that was uh….. The Bloodflames….” He read from a piece of paper in his hand. Meanwhile above the ceiling cracked and a small piece of it fell down and landed nearby. “Uhh…. Who is paying for that…?” He looked back at Lady Bloodflame.

Lady Bloodflame and her band were already done packing up their instruments and gear and carrying them. “Book it, Lads!” She yelled as they all scattered for exit doors.

Before he could look to Nerissa, her, Gigi and Shiorin were already gone in the crowd that began to filter back to the dance floor and out the door.

The trio were now outside on the sidewalk, snow coming down from above. They shivered and Gigi toed at a stray bit of snow left on the sidewalk. “Whelp.” Shiori said, pockets jingling. “I’m going to go to the bookstore.”

“At this hour?” Nerissa asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Yep. Ina runs it late, so I’ma go sneak in and scare the bejeezus out of her. Heheh. Don’t have too much fun now!” Shiorin said as she turned and walked away, jingling and waving a hand.

“She’s weird. Good listener though.” Gigi laughed and smiled, but her smile faded as she looked up at Nerissa. “Ahg…. You’re bleeding still..” She said, reaching into her pocket to pull out a tissue and then poked it under Nerissa’s nose at the blood. This caused Nerissa to hiss slightly.

“Ahh- hey, that is tender.” She laughed awkwardly. “Thank you though. So kind.” She paused for a moment, letting Gigi dab away the blood before she spoke again. “Do you uh, just always carry tissues for bloody noses?”

“You don’t?” Gigi laughed and smiled at her, walking over to a nearby trash bin and tossing the tissue away.

“Well, maybe in my purse, but I left it at home…” The taller woman said casually as she followed Gigi, putting an arm around her shoulders when she reached her. “Now what?”

“Milkshakes.” Gigi gave a confirming nod.

“Milkshakes? It’s freezing out!” Nerissa laughed out loud and smiled down at Gigi. “Alright. Milkshakes.”

“Hurrah! Milkshakes!” Gigi snuggled up under Nerissa’s arm and sighed. “And then the arcade.”

“Gigi, it’s almost midnight.” Nerissa informed her lightly as they walked down the sidewalk together, avoiding bumping into strangers as a random car went back and forth on the street.
“What arcade is open that late?”

“A really good one.” She said as a matter of fact.

“Ah huh.. I suppose I can’t argue with that.” Nerissa said with amusement as she looked down at the black coin in between her fingers and thumbs. “It is weird that your ex girlfriend exploded into coins, right?”

“Oh yeah, very weird. You’d be surprised how much it happens around me though.” Gigi chuckled and rubbed her head against Nerissa’s arm with a soft happy sigh. “We’ll talk about it tomorrow?”

“Will we?” Nerissa looked at her again as they walked along.

“Probably.” Gigi shrugged her shoulders. “But for now, we need to be talking about more important stuff. Like what kind of milkshake are you getting, what’re you getting on it?!”

“Oh my.” Nerissa chuckled and smiled sweetly. “That is important, isn’t it? And if I said I’d happily drizzle you into my milkshake?”

Gigi giggled awkwardly and grinned, looking away, mumbling through her teeth. “Awrharhehheh… Nerissa….. So forward and crude!” Gigi became heavy when her legs gave out and Nerissa yelped and laughed.

“Hey! Don’t go weak kneed on me just yet! It was just a little joke!” Nerissa laughed as she hauled Gigi back to her feet, the young woman sprung back up like a spring and laughed in that gnarled little laugh.

“I’m just playin’! I don’t even know what flavor I’d be! I dunno if I’d taste good!”

"We'll just have to find out, won't we then?" Nerissa grinned.