Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Madam Herta's body lay sprawled across the floor. 

Cold.

Motionless.

Split in half. Horizontally split, along her waist. For specifics! 

Panic set into his body as the domain's integrity wavered. The walls started to flake and would crumble at a moment's notice... Duo was in some deep, DEEP shit now—he! just! killed! an EMANATOR! a WHOLE Emanator!!

Well, he was also an emanator, but...

One that was super, DUPER important!!!

She has ownership of an entire space station, manages a bunch of complicated research projects, and is undoubtedly amongst the most brilliant minds the cosmos has to offer.

And now she was dead; at the hands of a fool.

"I am FUUUCKED... Hopefully I can get Flandre into the truck and drive off before they catch us..."

-YOU MAY BE WONDERING HOW THIS BOY GOT INTO SUCH A PREDICAMENT.-

-ALLOW ME TO RELAY THE STORY, FROM THE START...-

...

Nyoom!

Nyoooooom...!

The roaring engine, well... roared through the galaxy.

"𝅘𝅥𝅮 Skate to me bab-a-y! Skate! skate... 𝅘𝅥𝅮" 

Have you ever seen a person drive a Monster Truck through space before? No? Well today is gonna be your first time. The large, four-wheeled vehicle cruised along the stars, blasting the beautiful melody that is... uhm... 'Skate' by Bruno Mars and Anderson .Paak...? Well, that was the tune this monster truck was blasting for any person or planet in the nearby vicinity to hear. They shouldn't complain though. It's a catchy song! 

There was a youth at the wheel—no older than seventeen. He tweaked the front-view mirror as he sang along. This mirror was impeccably maintained. Boasting not even a single blemish, it proved able to reflect all in its sight. Even...

"𝅘𝅥𝅮 Slide your way on over! Slide your way on ove— W-WAAH!!"

...A woman that, clearly, was not supposed to be here. He slams down on the brakes, making the truck skid to a halt. Sparkle giggled as the frightened boy yelps, before clasping her hands together as if in prayer. 

"Duo, oh, Duo! Scion of the Joyseeker—"

Duo cuts off the Fool. "First! How did you get inside MY truck? SECOND! 'Scion', means DESCENDANT! As in, CHILD! OFFSPRING! I! AM! NOT! RELATED! TO THEM!" His head grows to a comically large size as he shouts right at Sparkle's face.

"How long have you been an emanator?"

"Since the day I was born, or so I've been told..."

"So, if you were granted THEIR power from birth, wouldn't that kinda make you a child of Elation?"

"...Fair. I don't quite agree, but fair, I guess."

The truck had halted for a bit now. Sparkle plants her knees on the padded car seat and a hand on the head rest. She leans forward a bit. "That's beside the point, though. As we walk the same path, I, Sparkle, would like to formally—"

"Invite me to the Masked Fools, yeah yeah yeah, I've heard this like, THIRTY times—and I'll give you my thirty-FIRST answer; NO! Now piss off, I gotta go interview a very, very VIP, I'm not gonna be late because of you."

"But you could be doing so much more! And doesn't that count as three 'verys'...?"

"Like what? What are you doing that's so important?"

"Spreading joy, far and wide~!"

"You cause the whole GALAXY stress! I'm ASHAMED to share a path with you!"

Sparkle, in her infinite knack for theatrics, clutches her chest as if she'd been stabbed. "Oh, how your tongue wounds me~!"

Duo raised an eyebrow.

"Pretty please, my dear? We Fools would love to have someone like you amongst our ranks!"

Duo glares at her for a good few seconds. Then, he reaches into the glovebox, and pulls out a long wooden ruler. 

THWP! 

"BLOOD OF— AGH! Where the hell did you get that from?!" Sparkle winces and rubs the spot on her back where Duo flogged her. 

"I bought it."

"Really?" She sounded genuinely curious. 

"No, I didn't... You of all people should know how I got this thing..."

Sparkle connects the dots. "Oooh, okay! That power of yours gives out a lot of miscellaneous stuff. What a benevolent being the Joyseeker is!"

Speaking of...

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second Dice, 1 - Critical Fail]

[Your power up is: Fission! "Fission (分裂 Bunretsu) is the ability for a single being to split into two different copies of themselves, divided more or less equally in terms of power and appearance, but usually share a single lifeline. It is also the reversal and opposite of a fusion."]

[This ability will be given to Duo.]

The white-haired boy blinks. He now possessed the ability to split himself into two! ...Not like it would ever be useful. "Thank you so much, Aha..." Duo sarcastically remarks. 

"You are so VERY welcome, my dear Duo! Ha! Ha! Ha...!" Sparkle does her best impression of what (she thought) Aha sounded like. Duo stares at her with an unamused deadpan. Which slowly shifted to annoyance. Which then, shifted to anger...

"Get OUT already!" He jabs his finger at the door. "I don't want to see you, damn it—"

And suddenly, Duo is met with a head-splitting headache. He instantly clutches his forehead, groaning in pain and doubling over. "aaRGh—! F-Fuck...!" It was like someone took an axe to his skull, trying to cut it in half...

...

"Duo? You okay?" Sparkle prods at his nape, to which she is only responded to with labored breathing. This new ability seemed to sap a lot of his vitality... "Well, on the bright side, at least you know how it feels for us girls to give birth—"

"Sparkle... please... not the time." Duo manages to blurt out as his chest heaved. 

"...Two-time?"

"...W-What?"

*insert thought bubble above sparkle's head here*

penis

"No, no, no! Do NOT talk about that dogshit game." A third voice speaks up, swatting away the two-time shaped thought bubble above Sparkle's stupid little head. She takes a good look at the new passenger—who bore a striking resemblance to Duo. The same haircut, the same build...

The only difference being, instead of white hair and red eyes, he had black hair and blue eyes!

"Hol-ey, Duo! You were actually pregnant!" Sparkle exclaims.

"You dumbass, I can't GET pregnant..." Duo slumps a little further into the seat. "Split... This ability makes you split in half. And I don't think I can control it well—"

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second Dice, 3 - Neutral]

[Your power up is: Villainous Mode! "Villainous Mode is a form that places a targeted individual under mind control and greatly increases their power and evil intent. It is taken on by several individuals when they are placed under Towa or Demigra's Dark Magic or by eating the Fruit of the Tree of Might infused with the power of the Demon Realm."]

[Alternate: Because there is no Towa, or Demigra, or Dark Magic, or Fruit of the Tree of Might... OR Demon Realm present in the cosmos (yet), this ability will be altered so that it will be able to fundamentally function the same as in its original dimension..]

[Your power up has been ALTERED: the individual succumbs to the darkness within their heart, greatly increasing their power and evil intent.]

[This ability will be given to Uod.]

Duo stares at his black-haired clone, his eyebrows narrowing. "...Uod? your name is fucking Uod? What kind of name is that?"

"Your name. Just, in reverse..." Uod scoffs and folds his arms. Calling him by name seemed to be a trigger. "But I agree. My name's stupid—call me something cool! Like... Never! Never sounds super cool and edgy... It makes me feel STRONG!" He raises his leg...

"—?!"

WHMP!

In a swift motion, Never lands a powerful kick on Duo's shoulder. He is sent flying out the truck, tearing off the door with him. Sparkle can't do anything but watch, her mouth hangs open like a fish as Never vaults after his other half. 

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second DIce, 1 - Critical Fail]

[Your power up is: Absorption! "Absorption is usually used when a victim possesses certain strengths or abilities that an attacker desires. The technique involves either engulfing a victim completely, or using a part of their body to suck the victim into their body, thus gaining their power and abilities."]

[This ability will be given to Uod.]

...

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 2 - Area

Second Dice, 5]

[Central Starskiff Haven - Starwatcher Avenue! "A bustling street in Central Starskiff Haven. Shops line the road for as far as the eye can see, and their lights are lit for perpetuity."]

[Duo and Uod will be teleported to Starwatcher Avenue.]

By the time Duo blinks, he was on solid ground. Well, a solid crater formed in the ground, but he was still on ground regardless. He sits up, clutching his sore shoulder. That Never sure did pack a mean kick...

"Jeez, back-to-back rolls...?" He stands on shaky feet. "What a pain..."

Down the street, Never stood menacingly—black hair fluttering with the wind. Slimy tendrils shot from his skin and towards panicked citizens...

Chapter Text

Squelch...

"M-Mommy!!" A young foxian girl shrieks, trying to stretch an arm out to her mother—which was pointless. It's no use (if you get the reference, please laugh)! The older foxian had a black tendril wrapped around her waist that squeezed tight. It hurt like hell, but she couldn't let her daughter come to harm...

"Lin, no! S-Stay away from mommy, you could get hurt if you come close—!" Orange... yes, her name is Orange, managed to choke out as the tendril began to expand across her entire body. She tries to writhe in the tendril's grasp, but that just felt agonizing.

And then, whoosh!

The mother is whisked into the air, pulled towards Never despite her child's wails.

Duo can only watch, flabbergasted, as she is assimilated into his other half's body. 

"You... I don't think that's your first time."

"Yeeeah, kinda ate your truck with that woman inside before we landed here. Sorry not sorry~!"

Unforgivable. Duo's eyebrows twitch with a certain anger. His hands shift inside his pockets. "...I'll deal with you quickly."

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 3 - Item

Second Dice, 4 - A Smidge More]

[Your item is: Slaughter Demon! "Slaughter Demon (屠と坐ざ魔ま Tozama) was a cursed tool that originally belonged to Maki Zenin before Satoru Gojo borrowed it and lent it to his new student, Yuji Itadori. Slaughter Demon is a combat knife with a black fur guard and a brown handle. It has a wide-edged blade with two holes and bandages at its base."]

[Slaughter Demon will be spawned in, slightly more durable than it is in the JJK universe.]

A dagger fell from the sky, clattering right in the middle of Duo and Never. They glance at the floor—then, they glance at each other.

WHSH!

The two sprang towards the knife, Duo's hand outstretched to grasp it. "No—!!" Never, quick on his feet, uses his tendrils to take hold of a nearby vending machine. It's pried from the floor before being swung with some serious force.

CRSH!!

It slams into Duo's side, sending him hurdling into a nearby store! He crashed inside, and the impact made its windows shatter. People screamed, feet scrambled against the ground as bystanders fled for safety. But what of the vending machine? It was still attached to Never's tendrils, surprisingly. Blackness spread across it until it was fully covered. 

"Hm... Looks weird." As the vending machine draws closer and is absorbed into his body, Never grasps the knife's handle. He inspects it thoroughly... Never in Never's fulfilling minute of existence has he seen an object like this before. There were even these fuzzy things that brushed against his hand! It tickled. 

The dust was starting to settle...

"Hm?" Never feels something bump against his calf. What was that...? He turns around, and by 'he' we mean Never's neck. It spun around a full 180°, eliciting a frightened shriek. His gaze lowers, and a little girl comes into view. There was some sort of liquid running down her face—she looked particularly disgruntled. "What?"

"M-Mommy... G-G-Give me b-back my... GIVE BACK MY MOMMY!!" Lin yells with all the courage built up in her little body—but her fox ears twitched with fright. With a grunt, she gives Never one last punch to his calf. Just for good measure. You go, girl!

"...Why?"

RSTLE...

"You killed her mom, dickhead!" Duo emerges from the rubble, charging straight at his adversary. "And you're asking 'why'? Idiot." He cocks his fist back and then launches a punch aimed towards Never's face.

"Hm... No. Not dead..." 

His neck twists back to face Duo. Humming a weird tune, Never snatches Lin by the collar—in a split-second decision, he decides to use a child as a literal human, no, foxian shield and dangles her right in Duo's line of attack.

His pupils shrink. 'DAMNIT—!'

WHMP!

In the heat of the moment, Duo had accidentally punched a child. Lin's body jerked as she collected a full-force blow. Never let out a... sound. 

A strange and foreign snort that could maaaybe be mistaken for a laugh? The black-haired menace tosses Lin aside like a trash bag—her body bounces off the ground and rolls toward a bench. The child whimpers, curling into a ball and hugging her knees.

"That was aaall you. I didn't touch her~. Heeheehee..."

"So the hand that grabbed her by the collar just doesn't exist, huh? Tch! What an annoying bastard..."

"...What's that mean?"

There is a brief silence. Blue eyes curiously peer into red ones. 

"No, really... I wanna kno—hmpgh! BLRGG..." Never vomited up a brown liquid mid-sentence. It looked... fizzy. Ugh, gross... He got cola all over his shoes, and just looked at the soaked floor like it caused this to happen. "Sticky..."

Duo just can't believe this. He's smart enough to use human shields and swing vending machines, but throws up on himself? Never was just too unpredictable. Too WEIRD. If this was his aptitude, not even thirty minutes into existence, just imagine what he could be capable of with time!

Duo's clenched fists trembled, but he had to admit it—his arsenal was just unfit for this boy. Despite being an emanator, he was only a punch-kick merchant. And even then, he was still green...

No beam attacks,

No swords, 

And no—

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second Dice, 6 - Critical Success]

[Your ability is: Dead Road! "Dead Road (死道デッドロード?): Another move Victor developed that Andy later co-opted in which Andy severs his arms and regenerates the blood at high speeds, creating a large, spiral-shaped stream of blood to blast opponents with. It's noted that Andy's stream with two arms is weaker than Victor's stream with only one."]

[This ability will be given to Uod. Because he does not have regeneration, it has a x1 use for each arm. Because a six was rolled, this attack's range and power are greatly increased, and the user has a complete understanding on how to use it.]

"You gotta be kidding..." Duo groans as yet another overpowered skill was granted to his other half. It's almost as if THEY don't want Never to ever be defeated!

While Duo was stressing internally over the situation, Never, with his nigh-infinite IQ, had already begun to hatch a carefully formulated plan; He aimed to use his blood blast to cause as much collateral damage to the surrounding area as possible...

...NOT! Well, half-not. Never would never think with logic! That boy is like a caveman—he acts based on his instincts alone. He was planning on becoming potentially the first being in history to cause a tsunami of blood, though.

Without a second thought, Never grasps Slaughter Demon and sinks it into his right arm. The boy winces as he is met with instant, burning pain. "O-Ow...! OUCH! It hurts..."

"Yeah, I'd imagine cutting a whole arm off would be a tad bit painful." Duo says, as if he was scolding a child.

But Never was too far deep to turn back. "Ghk—! Agh..." Pushing through the pain, he forces the dagger to cut completely through flesh and bone alike. His severed limb hits the floor with a -splat-. Pearls of sweat ran down his forehead as he aimed the stump right in Duo's direction. Small droplets of blood spurted from the wound and stained the floor. 

Then, the blood started to trickle down, like water from a faucet.

And then... Well, one could say that Never caused quite a Bloody Stream.

...

dun-du-dun-dun—

SHUT UP YOUR DIRTY MOUTH

"—!!" Duo braced for impact, throwing his arms up in a 'X' formation—as if that would help. A jumbo-sized in both length and width blast shot straight from Never's wound, sweeping up nearly the entirety of Starwatcher Avenue's infrastructure along with any unfortunate being caught in the crossfire.

It was brutal. Merciless. Collateral damage like this had not been seen amongst the Luofu since ages ago. And it was not even an Aeon that was the cause. Nor was it an Emanator. Just a kid.

One. single. kid. 

Never, his only hand in his pocket, stands amongst the wreckege—shallow puddles were scattered amongst the split sidewalk. Rubble and scraps of skyskiffs were also littered throughout, permanently dyed in a fitting crimson tint. Personally, Never thought he did an excellent job cleaning up the street! So he had no idea why Duo, battered and struggling to pull himself up, was scowling at him. 

"...Why're you mad? The streets are all shiny now. San... S-Sand... Santa-tation people don't have to work as hard."

"Oh... really? So you cleaned up the streets, huh...?" Never nodded with sincerity. "'Sanitation' KILL you there...! Just wait until I get my hands on you—!"

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

to be continued dun dun dun oooo so suspensful

Chapter Text

Everything was drowned in red... Duo's shirt clung to his skin, liquid sloshed within his shoes, and his hair—sodden with Never's rancid blood. The boy hacked, coughing up blood from that was stuck in his throat. Duo scowled at him. Never just gazed right back. 

"Just wait until I get my hands on you—!" He spoke through gritted teeth.

Never stood still, eyes narrow and leering at his other half. 

"Are you even listening...?"

...No response.

Duo tried to stand but DAMN—he ached all over! Everything hurt so BADLY. What the hell was in that blood beam that put him in such a state?! To simply breathe, felt like an sueño imposible. That's... uhhh Spanish for 'impossible dream'. 

ge tout

The best Duo could manage was to plant one, shaky knee on the ground. 'What a pain!' he thought to himself.

Battered and drenched, There weren't many avenues Duo could take to victory. In his current state, there was really one viable option. He had to—

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second Dice, 6 - Critical Success]

[Your ability is: Bounded Field! "A Bounded Field is a geographical form of magecraft whereby one knits a boundary line of magical energy around a space to separate its inside from the outside, cutting off and isolating that space from the outside world and then imposing an effect on the inside (or the boundary line itself). It is primarily used to protect one's body or property."]

[...There's the obligatory FATE power-up, does this count as an authentic Wiki Warrior fic now?]

[This ability will be given to Duo. Because of the critical success, Duo is instantly granted complete understanding and mastery over this ability.]

Duo blinked. Did he hear that correctly? Crunch Time. Favored HIM? Like, him?

No, not the song. 

Duo's spirits were lifted—even through the ache. He brought a hand to his blood-streaked cheek and smudged it with his thumb. "Hey, Never." He called out to his other half, a grin tugging at his lips. "Wanna see..."

He trailed off for a moment, eyes catching iridescent glints in the sky.

'The hell is that?'

"...A magic trick?"

Never perked up hearing that. Like a puppy that was told it was getting a treat... "Magic? Magic?! Yeah, yeah! Magic! C'mon, do magic! I wanna see a magic!" He beamed with excitement. If Never had a tail, it would be wagging furiously right now. 

Duo took a breath in, and out. He was feeling a lot better than he was a minute earlier. Do what you gotta do. Blue energy began to swirl around his entire body, most notably his palms.

"Abra-Kadabra, BITCH!" 

hey, watch your mouth. What the— Duo, you're flipping Never off too?! Hm... wouldn't that mean he's flipping off himself...?

In an instant, Duo was gone. He vanished into thin air, as if he'd never existed in the first place. Never stood there, puzzled. "Hey... H-Hey! Where'd you go?!" He ran up a bit, genuinely bewildered at this display of 'magic'. "Come back!" Never yelled, stomping his foot on the ground. 

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

What was that sound? No. SOUNDS? It was unlike anything Never had ever heard before—It was loud. Proud. Orderly. POWERFUL. In UNISON, and in a SQUARE GARDEN. Wait, no that's not right—

"The hell?" Never is instantly drawn towards the noise. 

CLANG. CLANG. CLANG.

It was getting closer. More potent.

He glanced back. And before he could even blink, 

Never was faced with an army.

"The destruction you've caused is UNFORGIVABLE! Surrender now, and just MAYBE, we won't execute you immediately."

And hovering above them all seemed to be their leader.

A pearl of sweat ran down Never's forehead.  

Chapter Text

Divination Commission

Fortuna Augurstead

"Agh, jeez... That was a close one..." Duo re-emerged into the physical world, the blue energy that once enveloped his body flickering out. It took a while, but he managed to drag his aching body a considerable distance from that fiend. And it wasn't like Never would pursue anyway—that boy definitely took Duo's 'magic trick' at face value! And now, that imbecile was stranded on his own. Good. 

But that was enough worrying over him. Now, Duo had to traverse this foreign environment. He tapped one foot on the ground cautiously; it felt wooden, hollow. In the distance, he spotted a large tree whose branches sprawled in all sorts of directions. Its 'leaves' didn't quite resemble leaves at all—a pale flame would be a more fitting description. Yeesh, this planet has some strange agriculture...

"Hey! You, over there!" Duo's heart skipped a beat as he was startled by the sudden noise. He whipped around towards the source of the noise—and eventually locked eyes with a petite, beige-haired girl. She sat atop a roof, one leg crossed over the other. "It's not safe to wander around. Haven't you heard there's some sicko that drowned Starwatcher Avenue in blood?"

"Tell me about it..." Duo grumbled. The irony was not lost on him.

"Alright-y then..." The girl leaps, pushing herself off the roof with her hands. Her twin-tails streamed behind her as she descended. They were like pretty beige ribbons. Yeah, really pretty. 

Duo watches, impressed and unimpressed at the same time. Anybody could jump off a roof, but what really mattered—can she stick the landing? Duo didn't want to admit it, but a small part of him was hoping she'd fall flat on the ground and, like... break her leg or something. What a hater! 

Fortunately, no broken legs would stem from this stunt. With a wave of her hand, a wide and multi-colored mahjong tile materialized from thin air. It hovered just slightly above the ground. The girl lands atop the tile without a sound. Duo rolled his eyes. What a show-off! 

"Name's Qingque," She introduces herself, hopping off the hovering tile. Did we ever mention that Qingque was short? With her two feet alone, her head only came up to Duo's shoulders. "I'm a diviner here at the divination commission—but don't expect me to read your future or anything like that, hah..."

"...Duo." He was glancing to the side, his expression glum. 'I don't really feel like talking...'

"Hm? Hey... You good?"

"...? Yeah... Yeah, I'm fine."

"Don't really look the part."

"Well..." Duo sighed. "Qingque, let's say, hypothetically, your body split into two halves, and the other half was super evil and wants to kill you—while destroying planets in the process—and got busted power-ups that made them, like, a thousand times stronger than you, and genuinely made you feel miserable... What would you do?"

Qingque put a finger to her chin. "Hm... Let's see... I'd hypothetically live out my childhood dream of being a kick-ass superhero and beat up the clone. But, if there comes a moment when I'm defeated, I wouldn't worry."

"Why?"

"Because I'd be on the Luofu. There's many-a-fighter that can take them down around these parts."

Brstle...

Duo felt the hairs on his neck tingle. He and Qingque whipped around, only to find...

Never stood there, his black tendrils outstretched and wriggling in the air. One of them was even grasping a Guandao. 

"You fucking ROACH!" 

||Several Minutes Earlier...||

"Why... are you doing this?" Never asked casually, now unbothered by the rows of armed soldiers that stood before him. 

"Tch—! Some NERVE you have. Just take ONE look around you! Buildings destroyed, LIVES lost—and YOU caused all of it. You're a beast that needs to be... no, that WILL be eliminated."

Never stepped a bit closer, meeting Yanqing face-to-face. The boy's face was fierce—it was clear that he bore determination. "So, you want to fight me?"

Yanqing shook his head. "Fight you? No, I wanna kill you."

Never's hand quickly slipped out of his pocket. He raised it, fingers closed...

WHAM! WHAM! WHAM!

Before he could blink, Never's fist slammed into Yanqing's nose. The Cloud Knights watched in shock and horror. Some even faltered in formation. Never pummeled Yanqing's face in rapid succession, his one arm reeling back and forth. The young swordsman staggered back, but was given no breathing room—Never brought his leg up and slammed it into the boy's ribs.

Yanqing was sent barrelling this time, but with the signal of his two fingers one of his many swords came to his rescue. He plants his feet on its face, and takes flight into the air. Several more blades trailed behind him. After gaining considerable height, Yanqing stationed himself. His swords began to circle around his back—they trembled with energy, prepared to strike. 

"You can fly?" Meanwhile, on the ground, Never's tendrils were latching onto several knights. It started from the ankles, then crept up to their thighs... A viscous, inky substance spread all over as their bodies were prepped for assimilation, drowning out their screams. "Cute trick..."

His eyes went wide. "N-NO! Damn you..." Yanqing's hands shook with fury as he helplessly watched. He had to act quickly... "Swords, DESCEND!"

On Yanqing's signal, the swords followed their master's orders. One by one, they rained from the sky. Some of them made shallow cuts against Never's skin before sinking straight into the ground. "Ouch... Huh?" He pressed a hand to his cheek, feeling the flesh wound.

Yanqing was a blur. By the time Never blinked, the lieutenant had returned the favor and punched him square in the face. As his body jerked to the left, Yanqing dashed to the right—he grasped one of the swords planted in the ground. He yanked it out swiftly, and digs his heels into the ground as he turns tail to Never's direction. 

"Take THIS!" Yanqing makes a swinging motion, aiming at a stunned Never's neck. However...

CLANG!

With a sword of his own, Never instantly raised it and parried Yanqing's attack. The blades briefly struggled against each other, but Yanqing overpowered his foe and forced Never's hand downward. The Lieutenant stopped in his tracks, stunned. "Wh— Where'd you...?"

"I picked it up. Hope you don't mind."

"I very much DO." Yanqing says through gritted teeth. He swipes his fingers up, and the sword in Never's hand began to tremble. In seconds, he lost agency over the blade as it slipped from his palms and pointed at his neck. "Surrender. NOW."

"...Why?"

Never gazes at Yanqing with half-lidded, detached eyes. It made him uncomfortable—but he can't falter now! The criminal was dead to rights. One wrong move, and he'd be a pincushion! 

"Hm."

Subconsciously, Never lifted his wrist and pressed it against the sharp blade. 

"What're you—"

SHRK!

With a single swipe, Never amputated his one remaining hand. It dropped to the ground. Everyone froze in disbelief. The Cloud Knights stood in shock, unsure whether to attack or to recoil in disgust. 

Never's breathing hitched—a crazed grin tugged at his lips.

"Ha... Ha-ha...!!"

He was laughing. Blood was spurting from his wound, and he was laughing? How does one even respond to such an action? This guy was seriously fucked in the head.

"Hehehehahah... One more."

Never raised his bleeding arm...

"SHIT—!"

Quick on his feet, Yanqing slashed his blade across the ground. With a flash, a monumental wall of ice erupted from the line, protecting the entirety of the Cloud Knight fleet from harm. The blast of blood was just as wide, if not a smidge wider. The wall did a great job holding up, but the stream of blood had a great amount of force to it as well. Any longer, and it just might break...

Never laughed manically. A purple aura swirled around his body as he continued his offensive. 

...

"HEY."

"...Huh? Who is that...?"

"YOU KNOW ME."

"I don't."

"YOU DON'T! HA, HA, HA!"

"What's so funny?"

"NOTHING."

"You sure...?"

"BWAHAHAHA!!! OH, YOU SHOULD SEE YOUR FACE—YOU LOOK SO CONFUSED."

"Get outta my HEAD, man! You're too damn loud..."

"NONO, UOD, WAIT! I WANNA ASK YOU SOMETHING."

"Tch—! I don't like being CALLED that."

"I AM CURIOUS. YOU ARE THE RESULT OF DUO SPLITTING HIMSELF IN HALF—AND DUO IS ONE OF MY MANY EMANATORS."

"Mhm...?"

"YOU SHOULD BE FAMILIAR WITH CRUNCH TIME, THEN. AN ABILITY THAT IS CAPABLE OF ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING..."

...

"YOU CAN BE CONSIDERED PSUEDO-EMANATOR YOURSELF. AND AS A PSUEDO-EMANATOR OF SOMEONE THAT USES CRUNCH TIME..."

"...What? You wanna give me an ability or something? Try and find something that can restore hands, please."

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability]

[Your ability is: Flight Magic! "Flight Magic (飛行魔法 Hikō Mahō) is a type of Magic that witches and possibly their male equivalent wizards use to fly, mainly through magic brooms. Flight Magic is one of the most essential, relatively simple, basic magics there are, practically all witches and arguably wizards are able to use it as a means of transport..."]

[This ability will be given to Uod. Uod is required to say the incantation phrase in order to use it.]

"What's the incantation?"

[Tia Freyre.]

"...The fuck?"

...

||Back to the present...||

"I can fly now." Never states calmly, despite Qingque and Duo's panicked expressions. "Wanna see?"

"NO! No, we don't want to—"

"Tiafreyre." 

As he blurted the incantation, a witches broom spawned under Never and he swung his leg over its worn handle. The black-haired boy hovered a few inches off the ground. He looked... Well, it definitely wasn't happy.

"Worst. Power. Ever."

Chapter Text

||Back to the past...|||

The attack had stopped. Yanqing sighed in relief, comfortable to lower the wall now that the blood had let up. "What a technique..." He murmured, sword in hand as he instinctively charged forward. His foe stood there, handless and handicapped. One swing, and this would all be—

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability]

[Your ability is: Break Cannon! "Break Cannon (ブレイクキャノン Bureiku Kyanon), also called Greatest Technique (最高の技 Saikō no Waza, lit. "Supreme Technique") is a Mouth Energy Wave used by Nappa. Nappa notes it as his ultimate technique."]

[This ability will be given to Uod.]

"Say 'aaah'..." Never's mouth opened wide, a glowing energy balling up inside it. Yanqing freezes up, his eyes wide with confusion. He'd left himself wiiiide open... 

VWROOOOM!!!

The blast tore through the air. Yanqing, barely, dove aside to evade. He rolled across the ground before springing back to his feet. The beam continued travelling, dangerously approaching a row of Cloud Knights that ducked just in time. It flew over their heads into the distance. Close one... "The hell was that?!"

"Ngaaah..." His foe unfurled his mouth a smidge wider. Uh oh...

POW! POW! POW!

Never was like a pea shooter—would that make Yanqing the zombie? 

...

Ok, FINE, no more corny references during flashbacks. I've never even played PvZ before...

Yanqing was quick on his feet, darting across the open field and dodging Never's blasts. Each one scorched the ground where he once stood, nothing but smoldering craters left in their wake. The swords trailed behind their master—they just needed an opening...

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 6 - Status Condition]

[Your status is: Paralysis! "The paralysis status condition (Japanese: まひ Paralysis), or paralyze, is a non-volatile status condition that causes a Pokémon to be unable to attack ("fully paralyzed") a quarter of the time. Additionally, its Speed is reduced to 50% of its previous value (25% prior to Generation VII). Prior to Generation VI, it was abbreviated as PAR, or as Pz in Pokémon Stadium 2."]

[Yanqing will be paralyzed for 15 minutes.]

The lieutenant stopped in his tracks. His body had suddenly locked up, and white-hot pain tore through his every limb. Yanqing was unable to even stand. His legs gave out, and he collapsed to the floor. Arcs of electricity crackled across him. 

Wild YANQING is paralyzed! It can't move!

...wait, did we just call a child an 'it'? uhhhhhh—

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled: 

First Dice, 3 - Item]

[Your item is: Cloud Gouger! "Cloud Gouger (刳雲くれぐも Kuregumo) is one of the seven Enchanted Blades crafted by Kunishige Rokuhira. In the Seitei War, it was wielded by Ibuki Misaka. Three years ago, the Hishaku killed Kunishige and Ibuki and stole the original six Enchanted Blades, leaving Cloud Gouger as the only Enchanted Blade without a bearer. Cloud Gouger was later entrusted to Genichi Sojo by Yura in early October of the present year."]

[This weapon is up for grabs—if you want it, take it!]

Another blade fell to the ground. It resembled a katana, as opposed to Yanqing's more traditional swords. It clattered once, it clattered twice... and then it went still—laying perfectly between the two of them.

They both stared.

They both wanted to grasp it, but couldn't due to varying conditions. 

Never was handless. Yanqing was paralyzed. The Cloud Knights were acting like a bunch of PUSSIES. In short...

...That katana would be there for a while.

"So..." Never rasped, hunching over slightly. Blood continued to drip from his arms. He sighed through his teeth. "...You wanna take it? Or...?"

"Ghnnn..."

The poor boy could not even speak. He was reduced to vocalizing unintelligible hodge-podges that could barely be passed off as language. 

What an awkward scenario.

"Hnnn... Get up...!" Never cringed. Looking at Yanqing in such a condition made him feel... sick? "I don't... I... I'm just gonna kill you. If you can't even stand, then you're worthless anyway!"

He opened his mouth wide, preparing to fire off a finishing blast...

Until he felt a hand on his shoulder. A really tall guy. Like, seriously—he was towering over Never with ease. He had white bangs that swept across his left side—excess hair was fastened into a ponytail at the back. His gaze locked onto him. It was overwhelming with authority. There was just something peculiar about those golden eyes...

"I think you've caused quite enough trouble for the day, hm?"

||Back to the PRESENT...!||

"I'm telling you, that was the strongest guy I've ever met! Absorbing him was a REAL miracle!" Never exclaimed, waving his arms in excitement. "Compared to you two..."

"...Yeah. DOWNGRADES..." 

Duo clenched his fists. "Downgrade. DOWNGRADE?!" He ground his teeth. "I MADE YOU! I'm TECHNICALLY your FATHER! If anything, YOU'RE the downgrade!"

"Keep telling yourself that." Never smirked, slowly dismounting his broom. There was a sinister glint in his eyes. "Keep lying..."

The black-haired menace steadied his legs and lifted his arms, taking a battle stance. A malicious aura radiated off him. Duo's eyebrows furrowed as he studied Never's form. His arms bore something that was hard to ignore—shards of ice clung to them, inching down until they reached where the hands would be. There, they formed jagged claws.

"Wh... When'd you learn to do that...?"

"Don't worry about it, heh...!"

No escaping this one. Duo tightened his fists. "Q, get outta here—go somewhere safe. You're a good person, and I... I... I won't let Never kill anymore!"

"No can do, boss." The girl shook her head. "Two is better than one. And plus, I'm plenty strong myself." She waved her hand, summoning a floating board that Duo assumed she used to play with the tile she summoned earlier.

The tension was tense. 

...

The three of them were on standby, each side anticipating the other's move. Never's aura was growing larger by the second—more evil...

"Hnghh... Wait. WAIT! I never told you how I absorbed that guy." Never blinked out of what one could call a bloodlust. He wanted to share more of his story. "What was his name again... Jin— J-Jin Yawn...?"

"It's Jing YUAN, dimwit. Better tell that story fast—we're about to make you pay for what you did to the general." Qingque had already set a row of four tiles across her board. She looked serious. It was kinda scary...

"Alright..."

||Back to the future!||

||Wait. I was late for that one, wasn't I...?||

||Back to the past. Last flashback, I swear!||

Never was forced to his knees. Six Cloud Knights had circled around him, each of their blades pointed at his neck. This was the end of the road for him—no more Dead Roads, and a Break Cannon wouldn't be practical for this situation. The General's guandao hung low, bolts of golden lightning crackling from the blade. It hummed—and the tune was rather pleasant to Never's ears.

Yanqing propped himself up with one arm. The paralysis was slowly wearing off. "You're... finished...! No hands, no chance... Surrender q-quietly, devil..." The lieutenant said, his voice hoarse.   

Never tilted his head. "Wait. What did you say?"

"I said... you're unarmed. Literally. You... can't even punch me...!"

Never's eyebrows twitched. Usually, he was quiet. But right now...? He looked very cross. 

"The cosmos is vast... You can make swords fly, and your master commands a lightning spirit."

...

"You have jets that soar through the sky, cities that float in the clouds, and you all definitely have phones."

...

"All this... and you SERIOUSLY think I'm unable to find a substitute for these hands?"

Yanqing blinked.

"...Uh—"

Never cringed.

"Hnnngh...! Y-You're so stupid, it hurts...!"

SHRK!

Several black tendrils exploded from Never's shoulders, each one shooting at a soldier and stabbing them in the neck. 

...

"You dare—?!" 

Before Jing Yuan swung his blade, a tendril hurled towards him like a bullet. It stabbed him in the abdomen, lodging itself deep inside. "S-So fast..." He wheezed. Blood curdled in his throat. 

"This is what happens to STUPID PEOPLE!" Never yells, springing to his feet. His tendrils began to expand around their victims, lifting them like puppets.

They even wrapped around that katana...

...

Yanqing tried his hardest to blink away his tears. But seeing that happen to the General... Man, it was hard. He could only stare at this fiend as his vision blurred.

Never stood before the boy, turning his condescending gaze on him. His brows furrowed. He could feel his anger building up. Looking at this boy filled him with rage. He needed to voice his opinions.

"Ngh... HNNG..." Never groaned his signature groan. 

"Just kill yourself. You're not worth talking to anymore." 

He leapt into the air, flying off into the distance. He deserted Yanqing—battered, worn, and alone. There was no one. There was nothing. Nothing accompanied him, save for the blows  of gushing wind...

||motu patlu? PRESENT! gattu battu? PRESENT! ninja? PRESENT! kenichi? PRESEN— oh oh we're back here now ok sorry||

"Yeesh, what a bastard you are." Duo sighed, running his hand through his hair.

"Killing the General, making my junior cry..." Qingque snatched a tile from her board, "All the more reason to give you a good ass-kicking!" And flung—

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 1 - Person

Second Dice, 5 - Moderately Stronger]

[Your person is: Zani! "Zani (Chinese: 赞妮) is a playable Spectro Mutant Resonator in Wuthering Waves. She is a staff member of the Montelli Family's Averardo Bank in Ragunna. As a serious and reliable Montelli employee, Zani follows a strict routine and manages tasks with ease. For years, she has clocked in on time without fail, finding as much enjoyment in her well-ordered life as in her carefully planned moments of leisure."]

[Zani will spawn in Penacony, Land of Festivities. Zani will spawn with her Forte strength considerably increased.]

...

stare...

Duo crossed his arms.

"...If you're going to spawn a person, the least YOU can do is bring them a smidge closer. We need all the help we can get—I wanna see this smug bastard get jumped."

Chapter Text

Three. Two. One.

"Don't blink!"

One finger pierced into the skin of Qingque's shoulder.

A thin trail of blood slipped down the puncture.

Three. Two. One.

Duo caught Never's wrist. His grip jittered—such muscle...

He halted two fingers, mere inches away from gouging out his eyes.

Three. Two. One.

With one hand, Qingque wrenched Never's claw upward. 

His talon dragged, tearing fabric and flesh alike. She hissed. Yeowch...

Her free hand snatched three tiles from her board. 

She flicked them at Never's chest. They shattered on contact and erupted in fizzling quantum sparks. 

"That tickled..."

...

It was on. Duo steadies his grip and hoists Never's arm up. He raised his leg and drove his foot into his foe's gut. Never skid back, a trail of frost following his feet. Yet another tile flew through the air. He caught it in his hand and crushed it into... quantum energy?

Never gazed at Duo and pointed a talon toward the floor.

Duo's eyes follow—and he is met with rime encroaching from his foot, all the way up to his calf. "...!"

"Know what that's called?"

"No..."

"Yui."

Never fixed his palms against the floor, his icy claws glowing. There was a flash, and rows of icicles burst out. They danced towards Duo and Qingque, to which both leapt into the air in response. Duo studied the ground beneath him. Never was gone...

He felt his back tingle. Duo spun around, and there he was. Talons locked together, Never raised both arms and threw them down—like a sledgehammer. Duo threw his forearms up to guard, but the blow was just too strong. He's sent hurling to the ground, in danger of the rising ice impaling him...

Meanwhile, Qingque is throwing all the tiles she can at Never. Rapid-fire! Blam! Blam! Blam! They hit, they pop, they fizzle out, but they're not dealing damage! Qingque grumbles. "How frustrating..."

"Kou."

A ring of water forms around Qingque's throat. "...?!" She claws at it, but the water clung. Never flew in, driving his heel into her stomach. Qingque crumpled. She flew back and crashed into a nearby building. 

Never descended, his feet gently planting on the ground. "Maybe I should freeze it with Yui? Asphyxiation plus frostbite sounds plenty painful." He glanced to the side, noticing Qingque slumped across the rubble. He grinned slowly. Vapor wafted off his palm and a cone-shaped shard of ice formed in it. A makeshift knife, one could say. And if Never used black ice, you could even call it a BLACK knife!

...

It's one of the best songs Toby's put out shut up

Qingque groaned. Turns out, getting kicked into a building hurt like a bitch. Only one thing could make such an experience even worse... Suffering that the amateur diviner would undergo shortly. Before she knew it, Never had closed the distance. He raised up his leg and pressed his foot onto her left shoulder. Rocks scratched at her bare skin as Never pinned her down.

"Hold still..." He pointed the spike at her stomach, just slightly east from her navel. Qingque tried to move, to plead, to flick a tile, to shift away—but it was no use. Icy-hot pain shot through her body as the spike pierced through her skin. Pain unlike anything she had ever felt before. 

"A-AAGH...!"

"Huh..." Never pressed the spike deeper in. A warm, red liquid stained his talons. "...never heard a cute girl scream before. Like a little baby bird..."

"Y-You—ghk—are you getting OFF to this or something?!"

Never gave a one-armed shrug. "...I'unno." 

Her vision spun. Blood ran over her side, soaking her cloth and streaking across the rubble. Her left arm twitched. If she could just reach her board—

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability]

[Your ability is: Erasure! "Erasure (抹まっ消しょう Masshō) is the Quirk used by Shota Aizawa. Erasure allows the user to cancel out the Quirk of anyone they look at.When Erasure is activated, Shota is able to disable a person's Quirk Factor until he closes his eyes. Shota only needs one part of the target's body to be within his sights for Erasure to take effect."]

[Alternate: Because quirks do not exist in the Star Rail universe, this ability will be altered so that it will be able to fundamentally function the same as in its original dimension..]

[Your power up has been ALTERED: The user can nullify the powers of Pathstriders and Emanators that are caught in their sights.]

[This ability will be given to Qingque.]

The ring of water evaporated. The icicle stabbing her melted and turned slushy. Even Never's claws were starting to defrost!

"The hell—" 

Qingque cocked her legs back and double-kicked Never square in his chest. The impact made him stumble backward, his shoes scraping against the floor. It hurt like hell, but Qingque pushed herself off the rubble with her elbow. Right now, she needs four of a kind...

Duo was already in motion. Before Never could even think of a counter-attack, he had shot in from behind and slammed his fist into his spine. Never lurched forward, only for his face to be met with one of Qingque's tiles. This time, it actually hurt. kinda.

Qingque slammed her fist on her board—she'd reroll, no matter how many tries it took.

...

Duo punched Never in the back.

Qingque flicked a tile at his face.

his claws were melting

DON! A Scoop of Moon.

Duo punched Never in the back, harder.

Qingque flicked two tiles at his face this time.

why were they melting

DON! A Scoop of Moon.

Duo punched Never in the back—hard enough that each knuckle would be indented in his skin.

Qingque flicked three tiles at his face. It was close, she could feel it...

he'll be handless again at this rate

"Ag—"

"...AIN!"

she's causing this

Never shrieked, voice gruff and furious. He opened his mouth wide, but... nothing happened. What a weirdo. No one wants to see your teeth!

hate her

gouge her eyes out

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 1 - Person]

[Your person is: Hiiragi Utena! *insert dramatic sfx here* "Hiiragi Utena (柊ひいらぎ うてな), also known by her alias Magia Baiser (マジアベーゼ, Majia Bēze), is the protagonist of the series. She is the leader of the evil organization Enormeeta, and attends the same middle school as the members of Tres Magia."]

[Utena will spawn in the vicinity. Not telling you where, though~! Happy searching, and finders keepers! ...wait how old is she again *searches up on google* ok so we're going to omit that last part just go look for the damn girl if you want to]

Never was frothing at the mouth. He'd never felt so irritated in his brief—but entire—life. Was irritated even the right word to use? It didn't sound right—he was feeling way beyond irritated. 

Angry...?

Livid...?

INFURIATED...?

...

Calm.

Never felt very calm right now.

Never felt very happy right now. 

Never felt like his head was clear right now.

Never's frown turned upside down, stretching into a manic grin. He tilted his head to the side. 

...

"Bird."

"...Me?" Qingque pointed to herself. Her brows furrowed—she took grave offense to this less nickname, more insult. "Don't ever call me that again."

"Who do you value most in your life?"

What kind of question was that? Qingque decided to humor him anyway. "The Master Diviner, I guess...? Scolds me a lot, but she's a respectable person."

Never's shoulders racked with laughter. A low, breathy and sinister laughter that made Qingque instantly regret giving him an answer. 

"...You two want to act like heroes, right?" 

...

"BLOOD'S on your hands today."

He leapt into the air and flew off. There was no way they could give chase. When did he get so fast?

Duo watched with squinted eyes, hand pressed across his forehead. 

"Yeeeesh, what a weirdo."

"...You know he gave me this eraser power?"

"I'm actively trying to ignore that—but I don't think THEY'D let me..."

Chapter Text

"I'm... lost." 

A nervous girl, head full of purple hair, wandered aimlessly.

DIVINATION COMMISSION

CONCLAVE HALL

"Yeowzers, I'm in trouble...!" Utena skittishly scratched at her elbow—probably a tic of some sorts. "Mom's gonna kill me if I don't get home on time—but I don't know where I am..."

Her eyes darted around the area. There weren't any signs—not even one that said 'YOU ARE HERE', or 'FREE ROBUX'. So unhelpful...

Shrk...!

Utena's ears perked. What was that? Someone was nearby. She stopped mid-step, holding her breath and listening for footsteps. 

"...iminal! H-Hey, stay..."

SHRK...! 

"Ghglhh—"

SHRK, SHRK...!

"H-Help...!"

...

Utena's heart skipped a beat. Actually, it skipped two. That wasn't simply someone walking around. People... were getting hurt! Her feet moved before her brain could. She had to get out before—

Woosh...

Now her brain was moving before her feet. She felt this presence lock onto her, and it felt scary. Her legs were frozen in fear—pearls of sweat ran down her forehead as she sheepishly turned her head around. 

"U-Um... Hi...?"

"Girl. Let me ask you a question."

His voice was overpowering, to say the least. It made her feel kinda insignificant.  

Never rested his back against the wall, arms crossed. Streaks of blood discolored his clothes—there was even a thin trail near the corner of his mouth. Scary... In the distance, he could see the outline of two Cloud Knights. Their weapons were raised, and it looked like they were charging at him.

fools

"But, before I ask, let me show you what will happen..." 

The soldiers grew closer. Never unfurled his left arm, raising it into the air and then brought it down like a thunderbolt. A figurative one, right...?

KRSH!!

Utena yelped. That was a LITERAL thunderbolt, not a figurative one! Never's first victim, toasted from the electricity, tumbled to the ground. That only served as motivation for the second knight to rush with reckless abandon, only for him to be met with an icicle to the chest. His arms went limp over it, spear clattering to the ground.

Never pointed a talon at the first body. "...If you refuse to answer,"

He pointed at the second one. "Or if you say no."

shit shit shit SHIT— Her legs could classify as jello, they wobbled just like the dessert! He'd kill her if she said no? Utena didn't need to think twi— "YES! YES! I'll do what you want! J-Just... Don't hurt me, please..."

"Good." Never nods his head, satisfied—well, at least on the outside. 'This girl doesn't scream well... It's not as pretty as Bird's...'

They stood in silence for a few seconds.

Never snapped his fingers.

[CRUNCH TIME — VERSION UNO!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability]

[Your ability is: Unrepair! "...Unrepair allows the user to make any wound fatal by negating the ability to heal or keep the wound from bleeding. This includes any attempts made at their life by a target that knows killing them will deactivate the user's ability."]

[This ability will be given to Utena.]

[...Eh? How will the ability work if there's no matching UMA to negate?]

[dont worry about it thats how it'll work lol]

Never grumbled. It was good, but not enough...

He pressed his talon tips together and—

"Dude, stop it! You can't even roll twice. What a shoddy rip-off!"

Never raised an eyebrow...

His fist met a fist.

He staggered to the side, giving a hostile growl as he saw who the fist belonged to. "Stupid boy...! How did you find me...?"

Duo pumped his dukes. The bird was standing right beside him, with that stupid fucking board levitating under her palm...

i wanna break her fingers

"We got lucky. reeeeally lucky." Duo raised his palms above his head. "C'mon—I'll show you a REAL roll!"

CLAP!

[CRUNCH TIME - Two Dice, Two Rolls!]

[*clink... clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second Dice, 6 - Critical Success]

[Your ability is: Horizon of the Captivating Skandha! "Horizon of the Captivating Skandha (蕩蘊平線たううんへいせん Tau'un Heisen) is Dagon's domain expansion using his innate technique.Dagon's domain is conjured either when Dagon forms the necessary hand sign or when he draws a cursed seal on his stomach."]

[This ability will be given to Utena. Due to the critical success, Utena is granted complete mastery over this ability—alongside the preceding curse technique, Disaster Tides.]

[...'But what about cursed energy'? Shut up]

Duo clicked his tongue. "Shoot!" 

But there was no time to think—they had to strike while the iron was hot. Duo charged in, while Qingque assisted by flicking several tiles. Duo wrapped around Never's skull, and drove his face into his knee. THAM! He recoiled, swatting away three tiles aimed at his ribs. 

Utena watched carefully.

Why are they FIGHTING?

I... I think I should run.

I'm definitely gotta run—

"No you DON'T!" Never slammed one claw into Duo's gut—and raised the other in the direction of a Utena attempting to flee. Frost formed all over her body instantaneously, forcing her to a stop. She tried to break free, her body jerking to no avail.

"L-Lemme go!"

"NO! You have powers. Use them. KILL these two for me!"

"B-But... I don't wanna!"

"I WILL SKIN YOU."

Threatening a child? Not cool, Never...

Utena gulped. She tried to blink away her tears.

Well... I'll just throw a little water at 'em.

It shouldn't hurt, right?

Her back was turned, so this would be a bit hard. Deep breath in, deep breath out... a tiny sphere of water appeared in her palm. The droplet shot out into a thin stream, and curved over Utena's shoulder as it flew in Duo's direction. 

It drew closer, and closer...

*4*

Duo took a stance, sticking his right elbow and leg out in reflex. The second the water tickled his shoulder, he sprang to action—he closed the gap between himself and the girl, dropping to the floor and whirling his leg at Utena's face. His foot met her cheek. A tooth fluttered out her mouth. 

Utena tumbled to the ground. 

"Owwwwww..."

"Uh, wow—sorry about that, kid! That was a counter, so it'll automatically make me counter any attack. Even if it's a little splash of water."

Qingque facepalmed.

"BUZZ OFF!" Never lobbed a fist at Duo's shoulder, sending his other half reeling aside. "And YOU!" He glares at Utena, who lay on the floor with her head in her arms. "The hell was that, huh?! A pissant water drop? That's the BEST you've got?!" He grasped Utena by the hair. He lifted her head up, taking a good look at her face. Her eyes were puffy, and she had a swollen cheek. Looks painful... 

"L-Leave me alone..." She said, voice hushed and meek. "Please..."

Never tightened his grip. Their faces were close. Utena could see his gritted teeth. It was scary.

"BaaaaSTARD. I'm gonna BREAK your dainty little fingers, one by one—maybe that'll get you to FUCKING listen to me."

He's... He's gonna WHAT?

No.

Please.

I don't want that.

No no no nonononono—

"L-LEAVE ME ALONE!!" 

She twisted her wrists down, locking her fingers together. 

Never blinked.

『DOMAIN EXPANSION』

⏺

『HORIZON OF THE CAPTIVATING SKANDHA』

...

Can you feel the sunshine—does it brighten up your day?

"Aw, shit." Duo scratched at his hair. He was completely stumped—he never thought this kind of technique would encompass him, not just the enemy. "She got our ass, didn't she? Kinda my fault... My bad, y'all!"

Qingque fanned herself with her hands. Looks like she wasn't used to extreme heat, sweat was flying down her forehead! "What... kinda lobster hotbox IS this?!"

a RED lobster hotbox! 

...no? I'm the only one that watches RabSoPetty here? Ok. Sorry.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Chapter Text

Leave me out

I don't wanna fight

But if you insist

There will be consequences

The heat was blistering. 

The waves wuthered.

Qingque and Duo were bound, cocoons of water wrapped around their bodies—but it was pointless trying to keep Never at bay. He'd just freeze the water, shatter it, and go on and on...

"Please, leave me alone! I never asked for this—I don't even know where I am."

Something in Duo's brain clicked. Summoning a whole person to this world, it's happened many times in the past, and in fact happened earlier! That Zani girl... Even though his power whisked people on a whim, this was likely the first time it had actually brought someone close. 

No wonder Utena was confused and scared! She looked pretty young—about fourteen or so—and was likely living comfortably in her home dimension. Then, out of the blue, she's on a spaceship, in space, with no way to get back home. At least that Duo knew of...

The least he could do was explain.

And not waste his manji kick on a fourteen year ol—

"Hey! Kid! If you're looking for someone to be vexed at, I'm your guy!"

Utena blinked.

"My power... is the reason why you're here. It's also the reason you can do..." Duo gazed at the domain's surroundings. "This."

He could hear Never growling. He was definitely pissed off, having to use Cloud Gouger's power to freeze and shatter water repeatedly. It also seemed pretty annoying, having to use hydrokinesis to trap someone over and over and over...

"STOP IT!" Never shouted. Yet another cocoon was shattered to pieces by his hand. His patience was wearing thin.

"And, uh... I know I just said you should be mad at me, but kid, I'd ki... I'd knock that guy out first if I were you! He's a reeeeal piece of work!"

"Yeah! He's a BITCH!" Qingque chimed. It was a long time since she last swore. It felt good.

Don't even try

What you want from me?

Better stop pushing

Cause I won't tolerate it

Several swarms of fish rose from the ocean. They... all resembled some sort of piranha. 

On Utena's signal, they all rushed at Never. His brows furrowed as he flicked two talons up, raising a wall of ice from the floor to shield himself. The piranhas crashed into it head-on, most of them dying and turning to mush. 

Qingque and Duo watched from their cocoons. Well, not as if they could do anything in their current state...

"Hey, Duo?"

"Yeah?"

"Try to catch some of those fish—I haven't eaten all day!"

"...You're kidding."

"Fish is FISH. I'm sure they'll taste good!"

Eventually, the barrage subsided. 

The wall of ice sunk back into the ground. He let out a low grunt, raising his left arm and inspecting the various injuries on it. Despite his wall, Never seemed to emerge with a noticeable amount of scratches and bite marks all over his skin. Maybe he should've gone with a dome... 

Either way, he'd had enough.

[Crunch Time — Two Dice, Two Rolls—

"Not the time, or place—"

[CRUNCH TIME — TWO DICE, TWO ROLLS!]

[*clink, clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 4 - Ability

Second Dice, 3 - Neutral]

[Your ability is: High Speed Regeneration! "High-Speed Regeneration (超速再生, Chōsoku Saisei; lit. "Super/Ultra-Fast Regeneration") is a supplementary ability possessed by many Hollows, some Arrancar, and even Shinigami who have undergone Hollowfication."]

[This ability will be given to Utena, forgoing its Hollow/Arrancar requirement.]

One foot stepped forward—with a single blink, he'd seemingly teleported in front of the girl. As fast as lightning...

"AAAH! Stay away, you—I'm scared of you the most!" She yelped, falling back onto the sand.

"Fish. Fish. FISH. You thought FISH was the best thing to attack me with."

"A-And... I'll do it again! S-Stay away if you don't wanna get bitten!"

Never grit his teeth. Veins bulged on the side of his forehead. His claws... weren't claws anymore. They resembled normal human hands. 

He stepped forward.

Utena skittered back.

"Wh— What're you doing...?! I said, go away...!"

Never grinned—but it wasn't the grin of someone joyful.

"Don't worry. I just want to give you hugs and kisses."

Never quickly got on top of her, his knees digging into the sand.

WHAM!

"AAAGH—!!"

"A whole me."

WHAM!

"A WHOLE ME—!"

WHAM!

"THAT YOU SAW BLAST SOMEONE WITH THUNDER—!!"

WHAM!

"—AND STAB ANOTHER WITH ICE!"

WHAM!

"YOU THOUGHT—"

WHAM!

"YOU THOUGHT COMMON FISH WAS—"

WHAM!

"—THE BEST WAY TO ANSWER ME?!"

WHAM!

"HOW DARE YOU INSULT ME!"

WHAM!

"YOU PURPLE, YAM COLORED BITCH!"

woah never calm down we need to keep it pg-13 for the kids

...

Never slammed his fist into her face one last time, and kept it there. His knuckles felt every corner of her bruised skin, and the wet tears that brushed past them. Never took a good look at her. He looked at Utena for a long time.

Maybe he went too far.

no i didn't

This was unnecessary.

says who

Perhaps there was a better way to go about it?

ill show you a better way

The second the water surrounding them began to evaporate, Qingque and Duo's bodies moved on instinct. They rushed at Never. He didn't move. He didn't need to. He knew that—

[CRUNCH TIME — TWO DICE, TWO ROLLS!]

[*clink, clatter...*]

[Rolled:

First Dice, 2 - Area

Second Dice, 4]

[Your area is: Atlantic Avenue—Barclays Center station! "The Atlantic Avenue–Barclays Center station (formerly Atlantic Avenue/Pacific Street station) is a major New York City Subway station complex shared by the BMT Fourth Avenue Line, the BMT Brighton Line and the IRT Eastern Parkway Line. Named after Atlantic Avenue and the Barclays Center arena, it is located at Fourth and Flatbush Avenues' intersections with Atlantic Avenue and Pacific Street in Downtown Brooklyn."]

[Because the second dice rolled a 4...]

[Duo, Qingque, Never, and Utena will all be teleported to the Atlantic Avenue—Barclays Center station.]