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205 lbs blinked onto the rudimentary screen built into the scale. Hector sighed heavily and stepped off it, fiddling with his hands to try to ease himself. His tail was swishing side to side, brushing against the floor of the bathroom.
He had lost a lot of weight since he descended from godhood. His sweater started to feel loose around his body. He glanced at the mirror above the bathroom sink and looked into the reflection of his face. He had so many new wrinkles now, he touched his cheek. He pulled the sagging skin down with too much ease.
Gods he looked terrible now.
At least now he had his fur and flesh again – is what some of his boys tell him. He didn’t feel like himself in his body yet. He felt up and down his arms, shoulders and sides, all while he had a blank dead expression as he observed his actions reflected in the mirror. The feeling of running his fingers through his fur gave him goosebumps. He curled his tail up to his chest and considered...doing something he shouldn’t.
Knock Knock Knock
“Etka, Dinner’s on da stove. Ya show’s on too.” Capochin’s voice was muffled through the door.
Hector was snapped out of his dissociation and called back to his...roommate. Yeah, that's probably all they were now. “Thanks, Cap!” he put on a cheery voice. He looked back at himself for a few more seconds until deciding to finally stop looking at what he’s become and exited the bathroom swiftly. He slicked back his hair and put on a smile.
Whatever Capochin was cooking smelled amazing. Not that Hector planned to eat it. He went and sat on the couch and distracted himself with TV until Capochin sat next to him.
“You gonna eat?”
“Yah, later. Not feeling hungry right now-” As Hector spoke his stomached loudly growled at him in protest.
Capochin gave him a look, forcefully handed Hector the plate he initially made for himself and got up to fix himself another plate. Hector looked down at the plate of food that had been shoved his hands.
Speghetti Carbonara with mushrooms, pesto and toasted garlic bread. It smelled divine. Hector felt himself drooling over the meal in front of him.
But he can’t eat it. He doesn’t deserve food from Capochin after everything.
He placed the plate on the armrest of the couch, and stared at the screen ahead of him. Capochin returned with his second plate and started feasting away at his own work. He never seemed satisfied with how it turned out no matter what he made, even though it was always delicious. Hector couldn’t help but switch his attention back and forth from the TV to his plate to Capochin. Capochin took notice of this of course.
“Do y’ onmly wmnt et cuz et’s mne?” Capochin said with a mouthful of noodles.
Hector blinked and shook his head, “No no just- Been a while since it was only us two.” Hector forced himself to smile.
Capochin swallowed his mouthful and made a concerned glare at him, “’kay… weird ta bring up afta over 4 months of livin’ togetha.”
Hector forcibly laughed, “HAH! Hahah Yeah... it is, ain’t it?” he idly picked at his fur on his arm.
Capochin scooted further away from Hector. He was acting too weird today, and in general since he started living with him again. Capochin wasn’t sure if he should try and say something about it, so he tried to pay attention to their show on the TV. Hector kept shifting around and shuffling on his side of the couch, as if he was trying to distract himself from something. Capochin grabbed the remote and paused the show.
Hector whined, “Heeeyyyy Cap, I was watchin’ dat-”
“What’s goin’ on wit yew?”
Hector stared at Capochin blankly for a second. He felt the air in the room stand still. He snapped himself out of it and made himself sound as bright and cheery as he could.
“Whaddya mean? I’m all hunkie-doodie ova heresie, Caps!”
“No stop dat, Hector I’m serious. Yew’ve been so weird since we’ve been togetha again. Is it because...” Capochin paused and looked down, away from Hector. “Is it cuz of me still?”
“NO No no no- Cap, we are fine now, we’re all okay!” Hector frantically reassured Capochin. He held Capochin’s paws and patted them. Capochin pulled away from Hector quickly.
He started to get angry at Hector, “Then why don’t yew wanna eat what I make for yew?”
Hector swallowed, his tail curled against his leg. He bunched up his shoulders and closed his eyes, “I- I do. I do WANT to but I..” he trailed off, looking at his full plate with sadness.
Capochin crossed his arms, “But what? Cuz it reminds ya too much of what we did?” He tapped his finger on his arm. “Well. What you mostly did.” he mumbled. Hector turned to face him, with an accusatory stare that morphed into exhaustion.
“Cap. Don’t start that with me again. It’s not-”
“Tsh. Yew know it’s true.” Capochin swayed his tail against the couch. Hector felt fire burn in his face and chest. His tail frizzed up.
“Yew aint innocent about it eitha, Mistah Delivery Boy.” Hector regretted that immediately and shook his head at himself. “No I.. sorry- That wasn’t-”
Capochin let out an angry huff and waved his hand dismissively.
“Fuckin’ Whateva. Don’t eat my food, who fuckin’ cares.” He stood up and grabbed his plate to throw into the sink.
“It’s nawt about yew.” Hector grabbed Capochin’s arm gently.
“Den Why don’t ya wanna eat it?!” Capochin yelled and slipped out of Hector’s grasp again.
“I Just- I CAN’T okay? I can’t. I don’t deserve it.”
“Oh boohoo ‘Don’t Deserve it.’ my food aint even all dat great. Ya gotta eat SOMETHIN.”
“It IS great Cappy. It’s some of da best food I’ve ever had. Which is why I don’t deserve it. I don’t deserve anythin nice like dat anymore.” Hector’s breathing grew rapid, he rubbed his hands against his arms quickly to try and ease himself.
“I’m too terrible. I shouldn’t give myself stuff I want, because everything I want is bad.” Tears started to rolls down Hector’s face.
“Spec..” Capochin’s anger fizzled out like the end of a candle. He sat back down on the couch and put the empty plate next to him.
Hector took off his glasses, “I shouldn’t even be here livin’ wit yew! All I did was make yew hurt and do awful things for me. It’s selfish of me ta even want anything.” He rubbed the wetness around his eyes. He heard his stomach growl again to his dismay. “UGH SHUT UP!” He punched his gut and felt himself break down completely. He fell over on the couch into Capochin’s lap and started sobbing uncontrollably.
Capochin pet Hector’s hair, letting it curl around his fingers. He felt every convulsion Hector’s body made as he cried loudly. “Specs, you can’t just...” He tried to find the right words. “Ya gotta eat, it’s nawt somethin’ yew just want it’s...” He paused again and lifted Hector’s face to meet his own. “Yew need to.” He wiped a tear away with his thumb.
Hector sniffled, his face being covered in tears and snot. “I sniff shouldn’t h-have needs.” He curled up closer to Capochin. His claws dug into his sides. Capochin ignored the pain as best he could.
“Yeah ya do. You ain’t an all powerful goddie anymore.” He hugged Hector. “Even when ya were, yew still needed...” He trailed off, remembering what Inspekta needed. “Well ya still needed things, right?”
Hector gripped Capochin closer. He buried his face in Capochin chest. “M sorry...’m sorry ‘m sorry abmt evrythimng.” Hector’s words were muffled and small. He kept repeating his apologies to Capochin over and over. His voice was strained and hoarse.
Capochin wasn’t sure how to feel. He’d been through this situation with Hector before.
A lot, actually. Almost every month at this point.
He wanted to feel angry. He wanted to feel hurt. But there had been so much of that already these past few years. He heard Hector's stomach growl again.
"Spec, come on yew gotta eat." He tried and failed to sound as gentle as he could. "Please?"
Hector shook his head. "I shouldn't. I shouldn't. I'm not like him anymore. I shouldn't be so greedy like him."
"It's nawt greedy gettin' what ya need." He stated matter-of-factually. "Now come on, get up." He patted Hector's back to prompt him to get off of him. Hector obeyed slowly. He was a huge mess again. He wiped his face with the sleeve of his sweater and put his glasses back on his face.
"Get your plate" Capochin pointed at Hector's still full plate of pasta and bread on the armrest of the couch. Hector grabbed it with shaky hands and looked at Capochin for the next step.
"Grab da fork and get some pasta on it."
Hector lifted the plastic white fork from the plate and twirled the noodles around it. He lifted it to his mouth, scared. He looked at Capochin to make sure it really was okay. Capochin nodded to give him the permission he wanted. Hector stuck the forkful in his mouth. He savored the creamy, salty, basil flavor of the pesto sauce and the starchiness of the noodles.
It was heavenly, divine. Too good for him.
He swallowed and took another forkful, slurping it down quicker. He moved on to the garlic bread, taking one big crunchy bite, the garlic butter melting in his mouth. He kept eating and eating and before he knew it, the whole plate was empty. He licked up the sauce on the plate and looked at Capochin who was looking closely at him the whole time. Hector felt embarrassed and put the plate on his lap.
"S-sorry I'm bein' sucha slob aren't I?" He asked sheepishly. A tint of sadness still lingered in his voice.
Capochin gave him a slight smirk, "A little, but at least you're eatin' it." Hector returned the smile. He looked at his empty plate and fiddled with the rim.
"Could I um.. get some more?" He stuck his tongue out playfully.
Capochin chuckled, "Of cawrse, why d'ya think I made a whole pot of da stuff?" Hector perked up at the mention of that.
The two of them were sunk into the couch, curled up next to each other. They were both full from their meal after having seconds, thirds, even fourths. Hector almost didn't remember why he didn't let himself just enjoy food before. His stomach growled again. Seems like he wasn't as full as he thought. He flicked his ear as he thought about earlier in the evening. He glanced at Capochin who was fast asleep next to him. He got up carefully, trying his best to not wake the sleeping man and went to the bathroom to check the scale again.
215 lbs. Hopefully he can get himself back to the weight he once was in the past.
But... did he really want that? Was it okay to want that? He rubbed his stomach. It felt good to be full. It was a nice feeling and he wanted to feel full more often.
Would he look okay if he gained more weight? Inspekta was slim and stretchy and Hector was certainly not built to be stretchy anymore. Should he be thin? He looked at himself in the mirror. His sweater was still loose on his body. He was sad it didn't fit him like it used to. Maybe he should try and make it fit again? But then he wouldn't look...normal. Average. His mind kept switching back and forth with similar thoughts until Capochin opened the door.
"Spec I gotta use it, can ya-" Capochin stopped as he saw Hector on the scale he didn't know they had. Hector felt ashamed, his tail curled around his leg.
"When did we get one o' dose?" Capochin grumbled sleepily. Hector didn't say anything. Capochin picked up on the deafening silence Hector was giving him. He flicked his ear and gestured for Hector to get off of the scale. Hector obliged, still feeling a pit in his stomach at what Capochin was gonna say. Was he gonna make fun of him for getting fat now? Did he really want him to eat so much earlier or was he just lying?
Before Hector could explain himself, Capochin picked up the scale and smashed it on the tile floor with a loud SNAP! The pieces spread all around their feet. Hector jumped at the sudden loud sound.
"C-Cap?-"
"When did we get that?" Capochin's voice was stern.
"Um I did... a few months ago."
"Was dat why ya weren't eatin?"
"N-No! Well- sorta. But I was gonna stop!" Hector protested. He thought more on it for a second, "I mean, I... I might have stopped. But I wasn't really sure if I-"
Capochin hugged Hector tight. Hector stumbled back over the sudden action. Hector tried to speak but Capochin spoke over him, "Why do you keep hurting yourself like dis, Ekta?" He asked with a wobbily voice. Hector suddenly lost all the words he wanted to say. Did he really need to hear another sorry from him? He was so pathetic and terrible. He felt a lump in his throat form.
Capochin shook his head and pulled away from Hector. "Go sit in da kitchen." He pointed out the door. Hector looked at him sadly.
"Cap..."
"Please."
Hector listened and made his way to the kitchen, turning on the light as soon as he entered.
After Capochin did his business, he came out and opened the fridge revealing a huge chocolate cake under an ornate cake dome hiding in the back.
Hector was more than surprised at the reveal, "Dessert?! When did ya make-"
"Doesn't matta. I want yew to eat it now." Capochin placed it on the dinning table and lifted the dome.
Hector tried to resist, "R-right now?! But Cappy I had so much earlier I don't need-"
"Hector. I don't know how long you've been letting yourself starve. But it is officially stopping today. Right now." He hastily cut and plated a slice of the cake, "Eat." He slide the plate over to Hector. He handed him a fork.
Hector gulped and took the fork from Capochin's hand. "Are, yew sure?"
"Please, Hector." Capochin looked so worried. "I wanna do dis for yew." He pushed over a chair in front of Hector's and sat down to make sure he ate all of what he needed to.
Hector took a bite of the cake. It was so rich and sweet. The chocolate frosting melted in his mouth. The fluffiness of the sponge was like the stuff of dreams. He quickly finished the whole slice. He hesitated to serve himself another slice. He looked at Capochin, "C-Can I?"
"Eat it, Spec. I want ya to. Yew should want to also." Capochin sounded as sympathetic as he could.
Hector chewed the inside of his cheek. He let himself indulge and ate 2 more slices. Soon chocolate covered his mouth and crumbs decorated his sweater. Yet he still felt somewhat hungry. "I don't think I should eat more." He tried to stop himself.
Capochin gave him a look, "Are ya full?"
"Y-..um.. sorta?"
Capochin shook his head, "Eat 'til you're full." He offered another slice.
There was about 3 slices left of the cake and Hector finally felt even more full than before. His tail involuntarily wagged from the dopamine rush of the sugar and eating something he liked. Something he wanted, something he needed. Capochin put the cake back in the fridge and the dirty dishes in the sink to wash tomorrow morning.
"Better?" He asked Hector.
Hector nodded slowly. "Much. But-"
"Atatatat- In my house yew are gonna eat wheneva ya feel like it and yew're gonna eat until ya feel full. 'kay?" He gestured with his hands as he spoke. Hector still wasn't entirely sure about it, but he tried to feel encouraged by Capochin's words.
This wasn't gonna fix everything over night, but letting himself eat so much more tonight was a good start. He felt nostalgic over what he used to eat before he ascended into Godhood. He felt glad Capochin was the one to feed him again. It's one of the things that first started their relationship after all. He stood up from his chair and hugged Capochin from behind as he organized the dishes.
"Thanks." He whispered into his hair.
Capochin smiled. "It's what I was made ta do, Bawss." His crooked tail curled around Hector's.
Hector wasn't sure what to make of that, but if it was meant to be nice then it didn't matter to him. May
The two of them were fully exhausted and very much not hungry at this point and passed out on the couch completely. They were too lazy to go all the way to their bedroom.