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“Yeah we all shine on, like the moon, and the stars, and the sun.”
-John Lennon
“I want to shine,” he says at the age of eight, wide eyes gazing up towards the sky. A confused chuckle escapes Iwaizumi’s lips as his tilts his head, eyes trailing up to where Oikawa is looking. The stars twinkle brightly, and when Iwaizumi glances back at his friend, he sees the stars reflecting off his eyes.
“I want to be a star, Iwa-chan! I want to be as bright as them!”
With a scoff and a roll of his eyes, Iwaizumi gently flicks his forehead, “you’ll be brighter than them someday, idiot.”
When middle school rolls around and they find themselves in their last year at Kitagawa Daichii, Oikawa becomes an asteroid. He barrels down into the Earth; shoving everything out of his way and focusing on nothing but his one goal. He grits his teeth and practices and practices and practices.
Until he hits the ground.
Iwaizumi has to grab his wrist, physically stopping him from doing more damage. He has to drag him home- the place he hates the most. Iwaizumi has to wrap Oikawa in the blanket his father left behind when he stormed out of the house. Even if the alien print blanket is a cruel reminder that his father didn’t want to be there anymore, it still held memories of happy days. The times they were looking up and pointing out constellations, observing the shooting stars and learning about planets to impress his father.
Knowing the pain held deep within Oikawa’s heart, Iwaizumi stays with him. He lifts the blanket, the corner of his lips tugging into a soft smile. He places a hand to Oikawa's jaw, forcing him to look at up. Swiping his thumb gently over Oikawa's cheek, he tilts his head down to kiss his friend's forehead.
“I- I didn’t mean to lash o-”
Iwaizumi shushes him, his lips slotting perfectly against his. A small sob rips itself from the back of Oikawa’s throat, and Iwaizumi softly slips onto the bed next to him. Hands carding through his brown locks.
He pulls away when Oikawa calms down, the smile growing as the seconds drag on.
“I know you didn’t mean to,” he whispers into the quiet night, pulling Oikawa into another gentle kiss-
In the morning, Oikawa is reborn as the star he always said he wanted to be. He shines. His smile brighter than any star Iwaizumi has ever seen.
“Let’s go on an adventure,” Oikawa says, hanging halfway out the window and halfway in Iwaizumi’s room. The moon shines down like a spot light, framing Oikawa perfectly.
“An adventure?” Iwaizumi grumbles, sitting up in bed. It’s four in the morning and the first day of their third year starts tomorrow- well, technically, today. His tired eyes study Oikawa, noticing the small details.
Red rimmed eyes, tight smile, posture stiff-
Another fight with his mom, most likely.
“Alright,” he agrees easily, sliding out from under his blankets and joining Oikawa by the window. His room is on the second floor, luckily by the big tree outside the window, easy to climb. It must've been fate that this tree was right outside his room.
He’s lost count of all the times Oikawa has come climbing up to his room looking for comfort.
Grabbing the edge of his window, he lifts himself out of the room and swiftly lands on the bark of the tree. He follows Oikawa to the ground. The moment his feet hit the grass, Oikawa’s arms wrap around him, pulling him into a desperate kiss. It was screaming ‘I need you, please stay with me, I’m sorry for waking you up-’
And he kisses back with as much force, whispering that he understands, that he doesn’t mind.
He knows that sometimes, stars can fall.
“I don’t like fighting with her,” he mentions one day. Legs tucked under him, hands resting on his knees as his chews on his bottom lip.
Iwaizumi looks up from his paper, eyes narrowed as he looks at his best friend. He knows Oikawa needs to talk about it, he never does- only when he’s about to burst.
“She…” Oikawa gulps, nervously looking at Iwaizumi through his lashes, “She blames me for him leaving, always has. B-but...how could an eleven year old be at fault?” He whispers. His voice cracks and it hurts Iwaizumi’s heart to see him like this. To see the mask finally cracking and for his feelings to ooze out until he’s nothing but a pile of stardust.
Shoving his papers aside, he opens his arms wide- an invitation that he knows Oikawa will take. Sniffling, tears roll down his cheeks and drip down his chin- and then Oikawa has his arms around Iwaizumi, clutching the fabric of his shirt, sobs racking his body as he asks the same question over and over again-
Why?
He becomes a shadow of what he once was. Throwing himself into volleyball. Sweat clinging to him until he pants. Hands on knees as he bends over.
“I have to do this, Iwa-chan,” he says one day, the bags under his eyes not helping his case. “I have to make her proud somehow,” and after the explanation, he’s turning on his heel and jogging back to the gym without a goodbye.
That night, when he gets a phone call, the broken voice on the other side sends shivers of dread down his spine. He’s out the door, rushing to the gym in his pyjamas, heart pounding like an earthquake as he throws the doors open. All at once it’s as if he’s up in space, unable to breath. The coldness seeps into his skin, watching as Oikawa leans heavily against the wall, crystal tears sliding down his face.
He’s heard of stars falling, but never has he heard of one star falling twice in it’s lifetime.
“I’ll be fine Iwa-chan,” Oikawa laughs as he sneaks in through the window. Brace wrapped snuggly around his knee, another fight with his mom sending him back down to Earth.
“Mmhmm, if you say so,” Iwaizumi replies.
He knows Oikawa like the back of his hand. He knows when he’s lying.
Graduation and talk of university helps nothing. Going to separate colleges, their parents said, would help in the long run. They’ve been together for so long; they need to learn what it’s like without the other.
Iwaizumi agrees, but in the back of his mind he knows that he doesn’t want to learn what it’s like living without his shining star.
Then one night, before they are due to leave for college, he gets a phone a call.
“Hm, Tooru?” He grunts, rubbing sleep out of his eyes. He sits up, the blanket falling off his shoulders as he walks to the window. He opens it, expecting to find Oikawa on the ground- but no. All that’s there is the grass and dirt.
“Look up, Hajime,” Oikawa whispers, and he does. His eyes scan the night sky, the moon and the stars and clouds, until his gaze lands on Oikawa’s roof.
“That’s dangerous, Oikawa.” He snaps, crawling out of his window and onto the tree.
“I wanted to say thank you-”
A black hole opens in Iwaizumi’s gut as he freezes in his actions, head jerking up.
“Tooru-”
“Y-You were always there for me. Always helping me, always by my side. Y-You...Hajime, you were the only good thing in this world.”
“Tooru, get down from there right now, you idiot. You could slip and fall.”
Oikawa ignores him. “All my happy memories have you in them, you made me so happy...I'm sorry, though, that it’s not enough. Never blame yourself, please, because if anything, you kept me here this long,” he pauses, gaze locking with Iwaizumi’s. His lips then turn upwards into a kind, thankful smile.
“Tooru, stop it-” he begs, voice cracking. How had he not seen the signs? He should’ve seen the sad look in his eyes, the slump of his shoulders, the way he slowly grew more distant-
Iwaizumi just thought he needed space.
“I want to shine,” Oikawa whispers, shuffling to the edge, “so hopefully I’ll come back as a star.” He then tosses his phone to the side, taking another step.
He looks up, right at Iwaizumi, “I love you, Hajime,” and then he’s a shooting star, rushing down towards the ground at an alarming rate, head first.
Iwaizumi doesn’t realize he’s screaming, scrambling down the tree at lightening speed, trying to get there as fast as possible-
But he doesn’t recall a single story of someone catching a shooting star.