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Chapter Text

The first ball of the season was underway and Colin had just arrived with his family. He was not typically so eager to attend such events but this year he suspected the usual monotony would be much abated by the presence of his dearest friend. Spotting the familiar red curls he excused himself from his mother and headed in her direction. 

“Pen!” Colin exclaimed happily as he approached her.

Penelope smiled but it was not the usual exuberant grin she sported when seeing him, rather her mouth was quirked into a demure, polite society smile.

“Mr. Bridgerton.” She said smoothly as she dipped into a proper curtsy.

Colin stopped and stared at her, his brain halting at the abrupt switch from their usual familiar greeting to . . this?

“Pen, have I done something to offend you?” He asked nervously as he cast his mind to their most recent encounter.

“Not at all, Mr. Bridgerton.” She responded serenely, to his consternation. “Why do you ask?”

“Why do I ask?!” He blinked, baffled. “The fact that you are calling me Mr. Bridgerton and not Colin for a start!” 

“Mr. Bridgerton,” She began in a kind of embarrassed condescending tone. “It would not be proper for me to address you as such, nor for you to call me by my name.” Her eyes told him he should refrain from making such a mistake again. “I am a lady out in society now and as such, propriety must be observed.”

“But . . we have never held such formality between us before? Are we not still friends even if you are making your debut this year?” He asked with a frown.

Penelope nodded though her face remained serious.

“We are friends indeed but such friendships must always evolve and change by necessity when both parties grow and mature. I am a woman now and it would not be proper for us to maintain the kind of friendship we enjoyed when we were children.”

She sighed and he felt a deep sense of foreboding trickle down his spine.

“I will always remember the times we have spent together fondly but I’m afraid I must apply myself to finding a suitable match this season.”

“A suitable match?” He gasped as his brain tried to make sense of this senseless conversation. “But you and Eloise have long spoken of your desire to be spinsters together!”

“Oh Mr. Bridgerton, not all of us have the security necessary to plan for such a life. Eloise is incredibly privileged to have not only a family of adequate wealth but who also love her enough to accept such a choice were she to make it. I have neither of those options available to me and . . . and to be truthful I never envisioned a life of spinsterhood for myself. I may have indulged Eloise’s fond discussions but I have always dreamed of marrying and having children of my own.”

Colin could have been knocked over by a feather, so great was his shock during this unprecedented conversation.

“And to that end I cannot be seen conversing with a young gentleman and calling him by his Christian name. I do hope our paths may cross on occasion during the season but I’m afraid most of my time and attention must be allocated towards searching out any potential suitors.”

“I . .  but . . I . . “ Colin stuttered.

“I hope you enjoy your evening, Mr. Bridgerton.”

Penelope curtsied again and walked away, leaving Colin grappling in her wake. Never in his life had a single conversation thrown his entire world into upheaval.

Chapter Text

Colin stayed on the sidelines for the rest of the ball that evening. He could not for the life of him make sense of what Penelope was saying. Of course he knew that many young women did not have the same options that his family could boast but it had never occurred to him that Penelope might be one of them. The thought of her trying to find a husband seemed entirely foreign to him. She was just . . Pen. She was a constant figure in his life and one that he had perhaps mistakenly assumed would always remain the same. But of course she was correct. If she did indeed wish to find a husband and get married then that was her right as a young lady out in society. He just could not explain why that thought brought him such turmoil. And . . and he could not countenance her stance that their friendship need change at all! If any of her suitors had an issue with their longstanding friendship then obviously they were not worthy of her time and attention!

He had grappled with these many thoughts until the final strings of the orchestra rang out and it was time to depart. He found his family and sulked the whole carriage ride home, feeling very much like a petulant child but unable to overcome his feelings. When his head finally came to rest on his pillow that night he was still no closer to understanding why he was feeling so unsettled nor how he should proceed given Penelope’s instructions. The idea of staying away from her made him feel physically ill and yet what kind of friend would he be if he deliberately went against her wishes. He was unable to sort through his feelings or emotions with any degree of clarity or satisfaction, such that he did not fall into a restless sleep until the sun was already rising in the sky. 

~

Colin had spent much of the following weeks attempting to get close to and speak with Penelope but to his frustration she kept him at arm's length. He knew that by seeking her out he was acting in opposition to her behest but he could not help himself; unfortunately all his efforts had been in vain. She was very crafty at evading him and she was able to easily escape his sight when she wanted to. When he did find her again it was usually on the dance floor being twirled around by some gentleman who he felt, on principle, could hardly be worth her notice. He knew his thoughts were not sensible but his frustration fuelled his irrationality. 

This evening he and his family had arrived early and so he was able to immediately spot the Featherington party when they arrived shortly thereafter. Lord and Lady Featherington walked through the doors and immediately separated. He hardly paid any attention to Penelope’s father as he seemed to flee his own family. Portia appeared to be speaking through the side of her mouth to both Prudence and Phillipa but his eyes swept past them as he craned his neck searching for Pen. 

Finally! There she was and looking quite lovely in a pink gown he had never seen before. By her side was another woman with dark hair who looked a bit unnerved by the grand room and its many occupants. He saw Penelope squeeze her arm and the dark haired woman gave a tumultuous smile back. At once he recognized a possible solution to his problem of a disappearing red head. If he approached her while she was with someone else then she couldn’t very well cry off and leave him in the lurch. 

Quickly, before she could escape him once more he approached.

“Pe . . Miss Featherington, good evening.” He said with a bow in her direction.

“Good evening, Mr. Bridgerton.” She said with a curtsy.

He fought against the wince that he could not fully suppress whenever she called him that. He did not even realize how much he enjoyed hearing her say his name until she no longer would. 

“Might I introduce to you my cousin, Miss Marina Thompson. She will be staying with our family for some time during the season.” Penelope explained.

He bowed again and Miss Thompson curtsied in response. 

“Lovely to make your acquaintance Miss Thompson.” He said politely though his eyes were already straying towards Pen.

“Miss Featherington, I was hoping I might request the honor of a da . . “

“Oh pray excuse me, Mister Bridgerton.” Penelope cut him off. “But I promised I would show Marina to the refreshment table before the dancing begins and I’m afraid we have little time left to complete our task. If you will excuse us.” 

Before he could even understand how she had possibly managed to escape him yet again the two women gave a curtsy and departed into the crowd. The “wait” on his lips dying as they disappeared. 

It took some time before he had gathered his wits enough to search her out again and even then it was no easy feat. Penelope was a small woman and she easily blended in despite her vibrant hair and colorful gowns. When he did spy her familiar figure, she and Miss Thompson were speaking with Lady Featherington and they were joined by Lord Rutledge, of all people. He could tell that Miss Thompson was uncomfortable by whatever was being said and his heart warmed to see Penelope take her hand discreetly to offer some comfort. Unfortunately Lord Lumley approached their group and promptly escorted Penelope onto the floor. He watched them join the other couples lining up while he lamented the fact that she had sidestepped his own offer earlier.

Idly he walked along the edge of the floor, his eyes straying towards the woman on his mind. Before too long he was close enough to Lady Featherington to hear her not so subtle comments indicating Lord Rutledge should ask Miss Thompson to dance. It was clear by the set of her shoulders that Miss Thompson was not at all amenable to the scheme and yet if the older man should ask she would be forced to accept. 

Inspiration struck.

“Good evening Lady Featherington.” He said pleasantly as he came right upon the group.

“Ah . . Mr. Bridgerton, good evening.” The Featherington matriarch replied.

“Miss Thompson, are you perhaps free for the next set? I would be most honored if you would allow me to escort you to the floor.” He said charmingly.

“Oh but . .” Lady Featherington started.

“I would be delighted!” Miss Thompson cut in quickly.

Without allowing any more conversation he offered his arm and led her to the floor. 

“I thank you for your timely interference Mr. Bridgerton.” Miss Thompson whispered as they lined up.

“Not at all Miss Thompson.” He said with a smile. “It is clear that Pe . . Miss Featherington holds you in high esteem and any friend of hers is a friend of mine.” 

Miss Thompson gave him an odd look but he was already tilting his head to see if they would be close to Penelope. Unfortunately she was already on the far side of the room and they were unlikely to meet. 

“It was very gallant of you.” He faintly heard Miss Thompson speaking as the chords for the dance began. He offered her a nod and smile but not much more as his attention was already on seeing where Penelope might end up. 

As the dance continued he was dismayed to find that Penelope had not looked their way once. He had hoped to endear himself to her by offering an escape for her cousin but as far as he could tell she had not noticed. He attempted to converse with Miss Thompson, as was expected, but he could not tell his success when his mind was on the other side of the floor. Before long the dance finished and he gave the required bow. He kept hoping to catch Penelope’s eye but he never did. The disappointment was shifting into frustration and so when he escorted Miss Thompson from the dance floor he did so in a way that left him able to intercept Penelope. 

“Thank you for the dance, Miss Thompson.” He said with a bow as he eyed where Penelope was also giving Lord Lumley a parting curtsy.

“It was my pleasure Mr. Bridgerton. Although I do find myself feeling rather warm after such exertion. Perhaps you might escort me outside for some fresh ai . . “

“If you’ll excuse me Miss Thompson.” 

He said as he departed, completely unaware that she had still been speaking to him. All his attention was now on getting to Penelope before she could disappear once more. Thankfully Penelope was not looking in his direction and so she did not realize with whom she almost collided until they were staring at each other's faces.

“Oh I beg your par . .  Co . . Mr. Bridgerton!” She stuttered as her eyes took him in.

“Miss Featherington, might I have the honor of your next dance?” He asked in a rush.

She blinked up at him and he thought he saw a flicker of frustration flash across her face before she quickly masked it. 

She was frustrated?! 

“Of course Mr. Bridgerton.” She said stiffly as she offered him her wrist. 

Reaching out a hand he carefully wrote his name down. When he finished he offered her his arm and watched as she hesitated for the smallest moment before accepting. 

“I thought I made it clear it would not be proper for us to spend as much time together now that I am out in society.” She said through her teeth as she smiled pleasantly at the crowd.

“You may have made that clear but I did not agree.” He paused and amended his statement. “I understand that you are . . much occupied this season but surely one dance between old friends is hardly scandal worthy. It is not as though we have spent any time together at events thus far.” He tried to keep the bitterness from his tone. 

Penelope sighed. “I suppose you are correct. One dance.” She said firmly. 

When the music began he allowed himself to relax and simply enjoy the dance. Being so close to Penelope again felt as easy as breathing; the weight that had been sitting on his chest vanished entirely. Penelope still maintained her new polite society demeanour, which was a disappointment, though he did manage to make her laugh once with a comment on Cressida Cowper’s feathered hairstyle. Despite the fact that the old Penelope was conspicuously absent, the dance was altogether lovely and so his heart hurt all the more when it eventually ended. 

His bow was stiff and his smile more of a grimace when he offered his arm to escort her off the floor. If he hoped for more time with her after their dance he was sorely mistaken. Almost as soon as they reached the sidelines Lord Cho was there to inform him that Penelope had promised the next set to him. 

It was in that moment that he came to an essential revelation. Having to hand Penelope over to another man. Watching as she took his arm and walked away to be held, courted and romanced, gave Colin startling clarity. 

He never wanted to let her go again. He could finally understand why her absence from his life, her reticence had thrown him so off balance. 

He loved her.

Chapter Text

The realization that he was in love with Penelope filled Colin with relief and nerves in equal measure. The relief of finally understanding what she meant to him and why her absence had affected him so, was immeasurable. Regrettably he was now filled with an unsettling amount of fear that she would be unreceptive to his attentions as a suitor. So far she had given no indication that she felt anything more for him than friendship and certainly with how easily she had stepped away from him he worried she might never come to see him in that light. However he was determined to at least try. He knew doing nothing and potentially losing her altogether would result in a lifetime's worth of regret. 

He was taunted with dreams of her, dreams where they were married and happy. Every time he closed his eyes his mind was awash with visions of a future where he and Penelope experienced all the happiness they had in their friendship but now with the unmistakable intimacy to be found in matrimony. 

He shivered to remember the vivid portrayals of her his latest dream had conjured. 

The positive side effect of his newfound nocturnal aspirations was that it gave him further reasoning to pursue Penelope as an ardent and sincere suitor. It was as though his mind had given him a glimpse into the joy to be found should he prevail in winning her hand and he would not stand idle when such felicity seemed within his reach. 

He determined that paying a call on Featherington house would be a good place to start with his plan to win her over. It would allow him more chance for privacy to explain himself to Penelope than in a ballroom and selfishly he also knew there would be less eyes if she were to reject him immediately. 

That morning he dressed with care and stopped by the florist to obtain a beautiful bouquet. He was not overly familiar with the language of flowers but thankfully the florist was able to fill in the gaps in his knowledge. In the end he walked away with a large bouquet of purple and white. He chose them for their meaning as much as their colour, believing Penelope would appreciate the deeper shades as well as their symbolism. He decided on bittersweet to symbolize how truthful he was in his intentions, knowing she would not entertain him if she felt him insincere. He also added edelweiss to illustrate his devotion to her and heliotrope to show his love. The last thing he had the florist add was some ivy which meant affection, friendship and fidelity; all sentiments he hoped to convey. She was his dearest friend and now those feelings were elevated beyond mere friendship to a romantic affection. His heart felt so full with the intermixed feelings of both love and friendship. It might be one thing to love another but he was coming to realize that to love one's dearest friend was a sensation altogether different. 

When he was shown into the Featherington’s home he saw a line of gentlemen waiting and his heart dropped. Through some doors he saw Penelope sitting and conversing with Lord Lumley, though the gentleman stood as though to depart. He had to watch as he took her hand and bent over it to say his farewells. In the back of his mind he thanked God that the man had not pressed a kiss to her hand because he knew not if his heart could take such a sight. He barely spared Lord Lumley a glance as he exited the room before he took a step forward.

“Sir?” Came the voice of a footman who looked at him expectantly.

“Ah . . yes. Mr. Colin Bridgerton here to call on Miss Penelope Featherington.” He said as evenly as he could. 

The footman nodded and made to announce him. His brows furrowed as to why he was not simply asked to wait in line with the others. 

“Mr. Colin Bridgerton for Miss Penelope Featherington.”

He stepped forward without thought. Penelope looked up and her eyes narrowed for the briefest of moments before her face smoothed into the polished society mask she had been wearing all season. Oh how he hated that look. He longed for her exuberant smiles, her biting wit and her carefree laughter. He could only hope he might catch a glimpse of her once more. 

Penelope stood and moved to greet him. From the corner of his eye he saw Miss Thompson seated across the room conversing with a man he did not recognize. The next moment that man departed and one of the men from the line entered the room to sit with her. Understanding washed over him. The line was for Miss Thompson not Penelope. The new knowledge that he was not to be contending with half the gentleman of the ton for Pen’s affection eased his nerves just slightly, though his chest remained tight at the task before him. He would need to prove himself a serious suitor as well as win her heart. 

“Mr. Bridgerton.” Penelope greeted softly with a demure curtsy.

He bowed back and unceremoniously thrust the bouquet forward. 

“I uh . . I selected these for you Pe- . . Miss Featherington.” He said. Taking a breath to steady himself he stepped forward and more slowly offered them to her. 

Her hands raised and she accepted the flowers as Lady Featherington joined them.

“Ah Mr. Bridgerton, how nice of you to join us today . . .” 

Lady Featherington kept speaking but her voice faded into the background as he focused on Penelope. He watched as her eyes took in all the different flowers in the arrangement. He could practically see her mind working as her gaze sharpened in understanding. When she finally looked at him he was staring right back at her, his full attention on her reaction, and she startled slightly. She tilted her head as she assessed him and he hoped she could see the truth. Her eyes widened the tiniest bit and he gave her a discreet nod. Her mouth dropped open as if she were to say something but no sound came out. 

“Lady Featherington,” He said, unknowingly cutting off her continued speech, “I wonder if I might have your permission to escort Miss Featherington for a short walk? The weather is very fine today.”

When he finished he tore his eyes away from Penelope to seek out the matriarch’s approval. 

Lady Featherington looked taken aback but she jerkily nodded her head in agreement.

“Yes . . quite . . it is a rather . . lovely day. Do ensure you take your maid with you Penelope.” She said before returning to the settee.

Colin held out his arm and was gratified when her small hand settled there gently. As they made their way to the garden Penelope stopped and requested the bouquet be placed in some water from a passing maid as well as send a request for her maid to join them. By the time they reached the doors to the garden a young woman was walking swiftly to join them, a light parasol in her hands. 

“Thank you, Rae.” Penelope said. 

Colin could hardly look at her as they walked a ways from the house. He knew he should speak but he needed to gather his courage first. 

“Pe- . . Miss Featherington, I hope my presence here is not an imposition.” 

Inwardly he winced at such a terrible start. He did not need to add any reasons why she might not wish him here.

“What I mean to say is that I am aware of your request for space this season and I can only hope that in light of . . my sincere intentions you might change your mind?” He finished his statement as a question and winced again at his inability to speak plainly and concisely at this moment. 

“I . . I do not . . understand.” Penelope said softly.

He eyed her shrewdly. 

“Do you not?” He asked.

She huffed a frustrated sound before composing herself.

“I thought I made it clear that I must focus on serious suitors this season, Mr. Bridgerton.” She said with a bit of bite to her words.

He nodded. “So you did, Miss Featherington.”

“I thought you would understand.” She continued.

“I do.” He answered though he was unsure if she truly heard him.

“I do not have the luxury of wasting any time. I can appreciate your . . “ Her words caught slightly, “devotion to a dear friend but I really must ask that you cease these obtrusions.” She finished firmly.

Seeing that she was finished he turned to face her head on.

“And what if my devotion was not to a dear friend . .” He paused. “not only to a dear friend. What if my devotion were of a more . . personal nature.” He finally got out.

“Personal?” She frowned.

“Intimate.” He expanded.

“Intimate?” Her eyebrows rose.

“Romantic.” He stated firmly. 

“Romantic?!” She yelped in shock.

“Penelope,” He took both of her hands in his. “This season has been nothing short of torturous for me. To see you so near and yet be unable to be near you. To dance with you, hold you and then be forced to relinquish your hand to other gentlemen.” He shook his head. “I understand that you may see me only as a dear friend but it would be remiss of me to allow you to believe that I feel only friendship for you. I have come to recognize that you hold a piece of my heart and perhaps . .” He paused as he considered, for the first time, how long he may have felt this way and not realized it, “ . . perhaps you always have.” He said softly.

“You would . . you are . . what are you saying, exactly?” She asked with wide eyes.

“Penelope Featherington, I humbly request your permission to court you with my full intention of asking for your hand in marriage, when and if you should find such an offer acceptable.” He spoke seriously but fervently.

“Oh,” she whispered.

He waited, body tense, for her answer. Thankfully she did not keep him in suspense for long.

“You . . you are in earnest?” She clarified.

He nodded his head. “It is my fondest hope that you will allow me the opportunity to prove to you just exactly how earnest I am.”

Her eyes widened further but he felt her hands squeeze his, seemingly almost involuntarily.

“Then I . . well I suppose . . to answer your question . . yes.” She fumbled and then answered firmly.

“Yes?” He felt his lips curve up into a small smile.

“Yes.” she repeated with a decisive nod of her head. 

A breathless laugh escaped him, more relief than mirth. He beamed at her and her answering smile was everything he remembered it being. No dainty, polite society smile but a real and genuine one. 

“There she is.” He whispered.

She cocked her head to the side.

“Did I go somewhere?” She asked with an arched brow.

He shook his head. “No but that hardly changes the fact that you, the real you, have been absent this whole season. I have craved seeing your bright smile and your expressive face so much that I find images of them in my dreams.”  He stepped closer and tilted his chin down to bring his face closer to hers. “You have been in my every dream.” He murmured.

Penelope inhaled sharply and tilted her own chin up; their breaths mingling.

A loud throat clearing had them springing apart, eyes darting to the presence of Penelope’s maid.

“Rae!” Penelope exclaimed. “I forgot you were with us.” She blurted.

“Yes I can see that, miss.” Rae said with a sly grin.

Colin shook his head to dispel the fog of lust that had gathered before offering Rae a bow.

“Forgive me Rae for forgetting myself. I would never wish to compromise your Lady’s honor. My feelings got away from me. It shall not happen again.” He said.

Rae simply raised a brow to indicate she did not believe him. 

Penelope giggled at the exchange and his attention turned to her.

“Do you not believe me either?” He asked, though his smile belied any seriousness in his question.

“I think if this,” She indicated between them, “is any indication, we likely should not be left alone.”

His smile turned a bit wicked and he stepped to her side once more to lift her hand to his lips and place a searing kiss to the back of it, relishing in her gasp.

“Now where is the fun in that?” His mischievous look made her laugh and his heart soared to see her so carefree once more. 

Chapter Text

Their courtship was a delightful experience. Colin had never tried to woo a young lady before but his confidence in his ability to win Penelope’s heart had increased exponentially since she happily agreed to his courtship. He chafed a bit at the restrictions placed on them by society for all he longed to do was be alone with her so they might speak as freely as they once had but he persevered. In time he began to recognize that every new moment with her was all the more precious because their time together was brief and chaperoned. And every experience held untold treasures to discover now that he was experiencing them through the lens of love.

He called on Penelope as often as he could, often bringing little trinkets and gifts he felt she would like. It was gratifying to see her soft blush and his smile whenever he did so. In fact he took every opportunity to bring forth her true self now that he was privy to it once more. He craved her as one does air, unaware for too long that it was essential to his health and wellbeing and yet once realization set in it was all he could think of. She invaded his every thought and so he did everything he could to see her. He accompanied her on every family promenade and he had pre-emptively requested her first and supper sets for every remaining ball of the season. At least each new event was now anticipated with eagerness and not dread for he knew he was allowed to spend them with Penelope. 

~

Colin was enjoying this evening more than he could ever remember enjoying an evening. He was with Penelope, which was always going to improve his mood, but not only that they were finally able to converse as he had hoped they would when the season first began. He had secured Lady Featherington’s permission for them to walk together before their dance and now they stood on the sidelines making observations about the other occupants in the room. It was remarkable how much Penelope saw and he was delighted by her wit.

“Our host looks a bit fussy.” He commented blandly. “Do you think if he goes to bed we all have to leave?”

He eyed her sideways to see her duck her head at his jest and his chest swelled.

“It was lucky the lady produced an heir before the old man croaked.”

“Lucky indeed.” Penelope joined in. “But do you not think the boy bears a passing resemblance to Lady Trowbridge's footman?” Penelope said innocently.

He gaped at her before his lip began to twitch.

“Penelope! What a barb!” 

She giggled and he laughed, enjoying seeing her joy filled face. It was the only way he wished to see her after so many weeks watching her polite but distant smile and serene countenance. 

He saw Penelope smile behind him and he turned to see her cousin, Miss Thompson had come to join them. He gave a proper bow and turned slightly to allow her to join in their conversation.

“How is your evening, Marina?” Penelope asked pleasantly.

“Oh it is well I suppose. Lady Featherington has been rather insistent on my dancing with certain gentlemen.” 

She let out a grimace and he couldn’t stop his huff of amusement. It was common knowledge that Lady Featherington was always eager to make a match for her daughters and now apparently her ward but her taste in suitors was rather more deficient than her enthusiasm.

Miss Thompson’s eyes turned to him.

“I have found many of my partners for this evening to be . . lacking. I do admit I would rather take to the floor with a more pleasing partner, much like our previous dance Mr. Bridgerton.” She said with a somewhat pointed tone.

Penelope cocked her head to the side.

Colin gave a rather embarrassed chuckle and rubbed the back of his neck.

“I must confess that I . . may have come to Miss Thompson’s rescue at the last ball. Your mama had chosen Lord Rutledge for her victim and it would not do to allow a young lady to suffer a dance with that man.” He forced himself to meet Penelope’s eyes and continued, despite the embarrassment already heating his cheeks. “I will admit I had hoped my actions might . . endear me to you.” He said with an awkward chuckle.

Penelope’s eyes widened and her cheeks pinked just the tiniest bit.

“I am relieved to know now that you are receptive to me as a suitor but before, I was fully convinced I would have to work to prove myself an acceptable candidate. Saving your cousin seemed a good way to improve myself in your eyes.” He finished sheepishly.

Penelope gave him the softest smile and he grinned back, thankful she was not put out by his rather convoluted thinking. 

What neither of them noticed was the look of absolute horror and indignation on Marina’s face which was swiftly hidden behind a pinched smile when they looked back.

“I do find it rather gallant of you to rescue Marina from the dreaded clutches of the indomitable Lord Rutledge.” She pursed her lips in thought. “It is odd that mama is encouraging his suit so favourably for you Marina. You are young and beautiful and a new face in the ton. There is no shortage of eligible young gentlemen pursuing you.” She mused.

Colin frowned in thought at her words and couldn’t help but puzzle that it was extremely odd for Lady Featherington to be pushing for such a man. Perhaps she was not so keen for Miss Thompson to make a good match after all? Despite being a Lord, Rutledge was well known as a horrid old man who no sensible young woman would ever choose for herself.

“Oh who knows what Lady Featherington is thinking.” Miss Thompson cut in quickly. “Rest assured there are plenty of other gentlemen I have enjoyed spending time with. It seems much more likely that I will end up choosing one of them.”

Penelope seemed to calm somewhat at her words and spoke warmly.

“I only hope that you will find as much happiness as I have found.”

His face lit up at her words but unfortunately they seemed to make Miss Thompson uncomfortable.

“That is most kind of you cousin Penelope. Speaking of happiness, I do know how much you enjoy dancing and I must insist you take to the floor so that you may enjoy your evening to the fullest.” 

Colin wasted no time in acquiescing to her suggestion, happy to hear the orchestra signalling the dancing was to begin.

“Allow me.” He said with a flourish of his hand.

Penelope giggled but took his hand as he led them to the dance floor. 

He stayed as close to her as he could, even when he was forced to relinquish her hand for her other partners he remained on the sidelines and took great delight in catching her eye as she was twirled around the floor. Yes the season was looking up indeed. 

The only thing that would make it better was if Penelope were already his wife.

Chapter Text

Colin had been courting her for several weeks and Penelope could honestly say she had never been happier in her life. He was attentive and charming and thoughtful. She could never have imagined such an outcome when the season first began. 

She had resolved to be practical, to put aside her childish love and focus on securing a suitor who could provide her with a comfortable life. In her more optimistic moments she had hoped to find an amiable man with whom she could foster a friendship but in her mind she was already planning to settle for a merely tolerable husband. 

Speaking with Colin at that first ball had been the most difficult thing she had ever done. To pretend indifference and hide behind a facade of propriety when all she wanted to do was speak and laugh with him as they had always done; it nearly killed her. But she persevered and was rewarded with a modicum of success in the form of a few gentlemen who seemed viable prospects. It did not stop her from noticing whenever Colin entered a room or that he seemed to still be trying to get close to her. Her resolute promise to herself kept her in check and she managed to evade him quite easily until of course she nearly ran right into his chest. Her annoyance at having been caught was intermingled with the joy of dancing with him.

It had been difficult to let go when the dance came to an end. She longed to remain with him and after dancing in his arms she might have finally lost her resolve entirely if her next partner had not come to claim her. She let out an internal sigh of relief and determined to redouble her efforts when next in company. Her shock was considerable when the very next day he arrived in her mama’s sitting room announcing he was calling on her. 

But oh, when he had spoken so haltingly, so nervously and yet with such sincerity she could hardly breathe . .  she allowed herself to hope. In that moment whatever strength she had been holding onto to keep Colin Bridgerton at arms length crumbled like a biscuit. Saying yes was easy after that and the ease with which each subsequent interaction had come made her eternally grateful for that decision.

It was with the fullest of hearts that she accepted another offer of his to walk in her family's garden, only the slightest inkling that this walk may be different from their others.

The two walked leisurely, their ever present chaperone trailing behind. Penelope attempted to bring forward their usual rapport and though Colin smiled and responded as he usually did there was a certain frenetic energy about him in the way that his eyes and hands never did stand still. Normally her insecurities would rise to the surface with such a display but she found herself more curious than anything, eyes sharp as she tried to discern the reason for his agitation. 

“Penelope!” He said suddenly which caused her to jump. 

He stopped their walk and apologized swiftly. “Forgive me! I did not mean to startle you. I suppose I was a bit abrupt.” He said with a frustrated huff before taking a deep breath obviously meant to settle him.

“Penelope, these past few weeks have been a true joy . .” He began and she offered an encouraging smile. “And I do believe that you have enjoyed them as well?” His brows rose in question and she couldn’t help her soft laugh.

“I should think it has been more than obvious how much I have enjoyed these last weeks.” She tried her best to ease his nerves by running her free hand along the top of his arm in a soothing gesture.

Colin’s eyes fell to her hand and he huffed again while running his own free hand through his hair. 

“Forgive me, I do not know why I am so nervous.” He confessed.

For some reason his nervous energy gave her confidence and she caught his eye.

“It is only me.”

Her words seemed to penetrate his anxiety and he blinked at her before his own easy smile returned to his face.

“Ah but that is both helpful at alleviating my nerves and a reason to exacerbate them.” He teased. “For it is indeed only you. Only you who are my dearest friend, only you who I have laughed with and confided in, only you who know me better than I know myself, . . .” He took a breath, “And only you that I wish to spend the rest of my life with, only you whose opinion of me matters more than any other, only you who I hope to build a family and a life with.”

Tears were slowly dripping down her cheeks as he shakily got down on one knee.

“So Penelope Featherington, I ask if you will have only me? As your friend, as your partner, as your husband, as the father of your children.”

“Yes,” She said wetly. 

His grin widened.

“You will marry me?” He confirmed.

“Yes!” The joy was bursting from her heart as he stood and took her in his arms. She laughed and cried against his chest as he whispered happy murmurings against her hair. And when he pulled back he dropped a hand to her cheek to lift her chin as he slowly lowered his face to hers.

She had but the briefest of moments to close her eyes and sigh as his lips finally met hers.

Chapter Text

Things passed swiftly after that, at least from an outside perspective. To Colin time seemed to slow down and speed up simultaneously. On one hand he eagerly anticipated the day he could call Penelope his wife and that day could hardly come soon enough. On the other hand every moment with her was enhanced now that he was sure of her affections beyond any doubt. It was as if everything before was hazy and dull by comparison and he did not even realize how empty his life was until she filled it, until she was there in every laugh and every quiet smile. 

He shuddered to think of his previous plan which was to go on his tour, unintentionally leaving behind his true love. Even the vague reminder of his plan to request to correspond with her did nothing to dull the irrational panic which flared occasionally when he thought on how he might have missed this. Now his mind was happily filled with images of a home and children, of libraries and letters exchanged between rooms instead of continents.

Wedding plans were made and executed to the delight of both of their mothers. He kept his eyes firmly on his betrothed to ensure she was happy with the arrangements. He would have been happy to marry anywhere so long as Penelope was his bride but he also wanted her to have the wedding of her dreams. Thankfully the details were decided relatively smoothly with only the slightest disagreement over the amount of yellow in the decorations. Before too long the day arrived and he stood nervous but proud at the foot of the altar. When the doors opened he almost stopped breathing entirely.

Penelope was a vision, all soft ivory and pink as she walked toward him. He caught her eye and they both beamed. 

The minister spoke of love and duty and Colin repeated his part with care and elation in equal measure. His bride seemed to share his sentiments for she was firm and radiant as she echoed his promises.

When they were officially pronounced husband and wife Colin wasted no time in claiming his wife’s, his wife’s! lips in a kiss likely far too passionate for church. He could hear Benedict's whistle as well as Anthony’s sharp reprimands but he cared naught. Penelope was his wife! 

The reception was attended by only their two families, though Penelope’s cousin was notably absent. Blinded by bliss he hardly noticed when Miss Thompson was quickly married off to a young man from her home town. Penelope had tried to inquire more but her cousin simply assured her she would be happy to return home and not remain amongst the ton, though Penelope did receive her promise that they would write.

Now he sat in a carriage with his new wife as they travelled back to number five for their wedding breakfast. His arm was firmly around her waist and he was pressing featherlight kisses along her neck as she giggled in his ear. 

“Finally we are wed, my love.” He said fervently.

Penelope sighed and hummed her agreement. 

“I must say this season has turned out quite a bit better than I anticipated.” She mused as her hand came up to run through his curls. 

He bit back a groan and nipped at her skin.

Penelope arched her back and sucked in a sharp breath. 

“I think you are stating it too lightly.” He murmured. “Compared to my feelings at the beginning of this season I would say we are walking into heaven after living in hell.”

He pulled back to stare into her eyes. “You have no idea how much your absence affected me.”

“If I knew the way to receive your attention was to feign indifference then I would have employed such a tactic long ago.” Penelope teased.

He smiled at her. To think on that time was certainly much easier now that Penelope was his wife.

“It was not entirely your indifference towards me, though that was a large factor, it was also the complete erasure of who you are. I have always found pleasure in your company, your personality is a joy and yet once the season began it was as if you were someone completely different.” He looked down to where their hands were now intertwined on his lap. “I could not stand to see the one I esteemed more than any other reduced to the same meaningless platitudes and dull smiles that every debutante could boast. You are Penelope Bridgerton,” He emphasized with a grin, “and you are extraordinary. I can hardly explain how painful it was to see your light dimmed.”

Penelope blushed at her new title but smiled at him with a twinkle in her eye. “I am more than pleased to be through with that whole facade. It was a means of protection but that does not mean it was easy to maintain. I longed to join you as we once had been but I had resolved to be practical.” She gave a rueful smile.

He could not stop himself from claiming another kiss, though this one was sweet and promising instead of the heat from moments before. 

“Now that you are my wife I must insist that you forgo that false facade forevermore. I wish never to look upon you and see such a pale imitation of the woman I love.”

She wound her arms around his neck and he willingly allowed himself to be pulled back down to her.

“Well . . I suppose if my husband insists.” She murmured before their lips were more happily engaged.