Work Text:
they just finished filming the smosh winter games, so of course they had to celebrate it and what better way than a company dinner at a private karaoke room.
Yes, I saw her, her spiraled hair
And I could see it, our life in a movie
And now I'm spinning, my web up in the air
My spider senses, rain's gonna fall
Wash away the life I'm weaving
she wasn’t supposed to be there, at least not that night, no. she was supposed to be across the country with her ex husband. she was supposed to be celebrating their anniversary. she was supposed to be happy and in love.
but there she was in a crowded karaoke room celebrating her 47 ringless day.
how did she end up there? not with her friends singing some 2010 pop banger, but there, being in a numb mental place where everything she had hoped/dreamt slowly vanished until the word divorce made sense.
I thought you were gonna catch me
I never stopped falling for you
she didn’t believe in soulmates, but he was truly hers, wasn’t he? it felt like that for years. when did it stop being the truth,
Now I know better, never let me
Leave home without a parachute
when did it all dim.
I thought you were gonna catch me
I never stopped falling for you
when did she start seeing other eyes shine.
Now I know better, never let me
Lеave home without a parachute
why weren’t those eyes looking at her right now.
You told mе you waited for me, you said that you won
Asked me on a plane from Rio, do I ever think of us?
amanda, she always knew what to say when needed. but it was never the case when it came to her and angela, at least not in the way she wanted to talk about her and angela.
to the world they were perfect soulmates, platonic soulmates, to them as well, to their world too.
but damn hayley wrote in those words exactly what happened the night she told angela that she was a newly divorcée.
a bottle of champagne later, ang looked into her eyes and said those damn words “have you ever thought of us?” right before wicked’s ‘what is this feeling?’ started to play on the speakers and chanse grabbed angela to sing their duet.
when have i not thought of you and i was the response stuck in amanda’s throat. that was the response the old fashion in her hand drowned.
And you were at my wedding, I was broken, you were drunk
You could've told me not to do it, I would've run, I would've run
as those words were leaving amanda’s mouth angela felt the disco lights were pointing at her, she felt every single eye onto her, when in reality their friends were just talking or dancing to the banger.
but she knew, or at least she felt like it was a dart at her, like amanda was demanding the love she knew angela had for her.
but to ang there hasn’t been an appropriate moment to give that love. no. amanda was married, then amanda was not herself, and throughout everything amanda was mostly her best friend. she wouldn’t give away the love she was sure wouldn’t be reciprocated, not when she could lose her, not when she was in love, and much less when she was as vulnerable as a broken heart can leave you.
Tell me what was the moment, you decided to give up
You could've told me what you wanted, I would've done, I would've done
Anything, I would've done anything
neither of them was sure if the other understood the song the same way.
angela thought amanda just needed to sing an angsty song, one where amanda could explode without reason. she needed to think and believe that because otherwise this was a direct message to her. otherwise amanda was screaming to her that they could’ve had everything in the past years.
that they could’ve saved lots of pain to each other had them her say anything.
amanda didn’t believe the words she was singing. she wasn’t sure if angela had done anything, said anything, had angela been brave she’d jump out of bravery as well. she’d like to think she would, but amanda wouldn’t bet on that.
she was also showing the bitterness she held onto what their relationship came to be after angela said those damn words “have you ever thought of us?”. those damn haunting words changed everything.
they stole amanda’s nights and dreams, she stole her peace replacing it with what ifs in her mind.
those words stole her best friend. because yes, angela was there when she needed it, but not her angela, a version of her that didn’t hold her like she used to.
I thought you were gonna catch me
I never stopped falling for you
Now I know better, never let me
Leave home without a parachute
angela decyphered amanda’s eyes. this was a warning. she was falling and was asking for her.
Watch me fall
Watch me fall
Watch me fall through the sky
Watch me fly
chanse’s eyes were on them both, as if he was understanding everything that was going on, the conversations the song and their eyes were having, that overwhelmed angela who was starting to eye the exit door.
I thought you were gonna catch me (Watch me fall)
I never stopped falling for you (Now watch me fly)
Now I know better, never let me (Watch me fall)
Leave home without a parachute
amanda was the one who crossed the door. didn’t even finish the song, angela stood still for a second until chanse whispered “do it, go” and she did. not because chanse told her to, she wanted to go but she wasn’t sure if following her would do good. the last thing angela wanted was to hurt amanda.
with her eyes closed, a couple of tear trails on her cheeks and slowly breathing, that’s how angela found her outside, around the corner. amanda immediately went to hug her, angela could’ve swore that amanda still had her eyes closed.
“you okay?” amanda nodded her head.
they stayed in that hug for a while, amanda took a deep breath and a step back “i don’t- i don’t know how to do this i just”
“amanda, we don’t have to do anything. you’re my friend we-”
“ang” amanda cut her, closed her eyes, took another deep breath, reached for angela’s hands and looked into her eyes “angela we’ve never been just friends. they way you look at me that, those eyes, i never seen them shine like that if you’re not looking at me. and i, i swear i don’t look at anybody else like i look at you. ang, the moment you stepped into my life, or I stepped into yours. the moment i laid eyes on you. i don’t- i haven’t- i’ve been looking you the same way ever since then i just. god. i just”
she could’ve had all the english dictionaries downloads in her brain, but there was no other way to finish that sentence than with a kidd. not a regular kiss. a kiss that felt a breathe of fresh air. a kiss so passionate it made the floor rumble. a kiss so needed it felt like nourishment for a hunger that had been happening for years.
I thought you were gonna catch me (Watch me fall)
I never stopped falling for you (Now watch me fly)
Now I know better, never let me (Watch me fall)
Leave home without a parachute
angela didn’t need to catch her. but she did. as the kiss was deepening her right arm hugged amanda’s waist as her left hand cas caressing her face and her neck not wanting to leave her skin.
“we’ll talk tomorrow about this. i literally cannot right now. i- manda, i-”
“i do too.”
“i love you”
nothing was for sure but angela held her hand and the pair went inside again, to find their friends talking and dancing to another banger.
it was trevor’s turn “cause i saddle up my horse and I ride into the city, i make a lot of noise 'cause the girls, they are so pretty”