Chapter Text
“so, pancakes?” amanda asked.
saturday morning, with nothing to shoot,they were just two friends catching up in a diner booth.
“yeah! why not manda? itts saturday morning, get your pancakes out!” - angela answered excited.
“okay honey, you know i love this “ she said pointing at angela¡s face with her hand “but you wanted to talk, so, lets’s talk.”
andgela took a deep breath “okay”
“okay”.
angela didn’t know were did she draw the courage needed to say the words that were about to leave her mind, she had been happily pinning over her best friend for a couple of years, and truly nothing happened, no sign was caught, nothing gave away anything that opposed the fact that amanda would not return the feeling.
but one day angela woke up with the need to be free of the burden that carrying that amount of love was.
“so.. i had a dream”
“okay martin luther king”
“AMANDA!”
“sorry, sorry, i’ll shut up and listen” amanda said holding angela’s hand.
“i had a dream, in it i was in a meeting with ian and anthony and ale, and oh my god. it was the realest dream. i felt it all, it’s crazy how i can still remember everything. i was nervous, and excited. in the meeting i was telling them three that i had to fo on maternity leave”
“YOU ARE PREGNANT”
“Manda, please, let me tell you this”
“sorry, sorry go on”
“i was telling them that my wife was pregnant, and i simply was giving them a heads up, to start planning videos for my absence. then jumpcut, i was going into a house, a home, gorgeous, small but with a backyard. i was going into a nursery room, almost finished, with my wife in a rocking chair folding baby clothes.”
angela has never looked so focused in her life, amanda has never seen her with this kind of hope in her eyes. she didn't know where this talk was going, but it truly seemed important for ang, and honestly there was nothing else amanda rather do than spend all morning listening to angela talk, with the smell of fresh pancakes.
“and another jumpcut, i was in a delivery room, and again i swear it felt too real, like a memory, a deja vu that hasn’t happened yet. i was holding my child, a son, and i can still feel his weight, i can remember the smell of his head, i can hear both his and my heart beating.”
angela held amanda’s hand a bit stronger, she gulped.
“then i woke up and i felt so lost and a huge loss. for a second i didn’t recognize my room. for a second i thought it was all real. and then the real real hit me and honestly i cried. i truly felt like my life was taken away from me.”
angela let go a breath that she might’ve been holding for months, or maybe years, amanda could sense that, she walked arond the booth and sat next to angela.
“are you okay ang?”
“yeah, yeah, i’m fine, i just..”
“is this your way of telling me that you want to be a mom?”
“no no, it’s not about the baby, no it’s just-”
angela looked into amanda’s eyes, and something in them made all her fears disappear, made her be at ease.
“you were my wife, amanda. when i was going home, i was going to you.”