Chapter Text
starscream' s glory hole
hall prowler: would someone like to explain what that moaning noise is
hall prowler: specifically the students in the decepticon dorms
sexiest medic: lets be real
sexiest medic:it's probably starscream
circus baby: what the fuck
circus baby: i'm not even in the dorms
bonnie: what IS that moaning actually
bonnie: why is it so loud
hall prowler: don't make me come over,
i do NOT want to walk to whatever hell your dorm is
papa: @mama
mama: it's the freshmen
elite: how loud is it that it can be heard from our dorm
doesn't keep the doctor away: it's shaking the dorm building actually
logical: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EROTICA PLAYING
logical: MY EXPERIMENTS MESSED UP NOW
mama: their speakers have been confiscated
william afton: can't lie, they've got good taste in PVs
mama has added Rodimus
unc status: isn't rodimus from the autobots dorms,
what's he doing in the decepticon dorms
william afton: cus we're cooler, duh
william afton: autoBORES
unc status: deceptiWHORES
doesn't keep the doctor away: can't argue that
Rodimus: i've been promoted!! to the school groupchat!!!!
Rodimus: is maggie here? hey!
Rodimus: @magnum give me admin!
magnum: the day i give you admin in any chat is the day humanity has lost their gods
car: a little edgy huh
mama changed Rodimus's name to FLAME ON
FLAME ON: whateverrr, soundwave let us use his phone
mama added Orion, Dee and Bumblebee
Dee: hello...?
FLAME ON: its the school chat!!!!!
Dee: roddy is that you
FLAME ON: yeah! howd you know?
Dee: your name
Orion: oh! new people
Bumblebee: WOW IS THAT THE HIGH GUARDS IN THIS CHAT??
an apple a day: if you mean the three fuckers who keep fucking everything up,
still have clean school records and in the student council?
circus baby: hey now
an apple a day: yeah, they're here
elite: the only reason they havent been expelled is because of their connections and jazz im pretty sure
papa: hey, gotta keep my boyfriend with me
mama: thank you jazz
papa: hold on, im coming over
logical: then im going to the labs
logical: no way in the PITS OF HELL AM I STAYING
circus baby: oh fuck is jazz coming
circus baby: skyfire, im coming over
Orion: is jazz that bad?
Dee: no but jazzwave's lovey doveyness is so bad it makes people viscerally sick
FLAME ON change Dee's name to deebunked
FLAME ON changed Orion's name to onion
FLAME ON chnaged Bumblebee's name to bumbling
some guy: HELLO MY FELLOW STUDENT BODY
bumbling: HELLO
bumbling:
bumbling: WHO ARE YOU?
elite: thats just sentinel, ignore him
onion: THE PRESIDENT????
mental: oh god i think i can hear soundwave moaning,
KNOCKOUT LET ME IN YOUR ROOM I DONT WANT TO BE IN MY DORM
deebunked: ...
deebunked: im going to the autobots dorm
im in your balls
chandler: are you done
mcnamara: sounders asleep
chandler: can you guys fuck in the autobots dorm instead
mcnamara: lol maybe :P
duke: we are thankful you keep us from detention but holy fuck
duke: you didnt dirty the bed did you?
mcnamara: course not my mech!
mcnamara: [picture of Soundwave, his face is fully covered by Jazz's chest.
He looks comfy.]
chandler: awwww you guys make so violently ill
duke: go do that with your boyfriend then
chandler: cant, hes at the lab
duke: yeah i know, hes next to me
chandler: THEN WHY THE FUK DID YIO ASK???
duke: because i wanted to see you grovel over the fact that skyfire is bus-
duke: oh shit-
duke: [It's a video, Skyfire's in the background mixing chemicals.
"Oh shit", Skyfire. Shockwave turns around and something behind him explodes
and the video cuts off]
duke: MY EXPERIMENTS
please dont use our patients as experiments:
smallest: how do i treat burn wounds...?
best: WHAT
scariest: i literally just told you wdym
prettiest: FIRST AID WHATEVER YOU DO DONT LISTEN TO SHOCKWAVE
scariest: HEY WHAT THE FUCK
best: ME AND NAUTICA ARE ON OUR WAY
prison wardens
Star: alright listen up gays
Star: theres gonna be a decepticon and autobot dorms camping trip
E.O.: wow, i sure hope we wont have to fight off beavers again
ACAB#2: how silly, of course not!
ACAB#2: it'll probably be bears!
ACAB#3: thats not very comforting...
ignore me: wait!
Star: not this guy...
ignore me: i thought we were going to disney land!
lord and saviour: @ACAB can you kick him out, heard its gonna be a sandstorm in 10 minutes
ACAB: way ahead of you
ignore me: airachnid! help!
bodyguard: i would but...the sandstorm's already here and i dont wanna get sand in my eyes
ACAB: on that note, @lord and savior, @S.S. and @S.W.
ACAB: DONT bring any weird things that could potentially put anyone in danger
Star: we would NEVERRRRR
ACAB: of course...
ACAB: because cyclonus definitely didnt get some weird new disease from last year's camping trip
S.W.: and it made him an arguably better person
E.O.: he was in the hospital for two months :heart:
S.W.: either way, i was gonna kidnap sentinel and get him somewhere no one can find him
ACAB: oh. well have fun
S.W.: i most definitely will
School Board
Alpha: Are we absolutely sure the camping trip is a good idea?
Prima: Yes, exactly! What if my precious Dee gets hurt???
Megatronus: Dee is old enough to take care of himself and I'm sure the high guard can protect him as well.
Vector: Are you sure? Last year, they somehow managed to set up a bomb level firework during the bonding trip....
Amalgamous: Come on now, they werre having fun!
Vector: How haven't they been expelled yet.
Onyx: They are in the top 5 of the school and in the world for their GPA.
Liege: They also use the fact that Soundwave is dating Jazz to get Nexus to pardon them.
Nexus: Well how am I supposed to say no to my son?
Solus: They also became the face of the school, we have thousands of applicants coming in each year just to see them.
Onyx: Expelling them would be hard on the school.
Quintus: Shockwave is sure to be quite the inventor once he graduates...
Liege: You mean an insane scientist with no morals?
Quintus: Just one of my student's many traits.
Prima: But still, what if that Orion Pax tries to deflower my Dee!
Zeta: I'm sure he'll be fine, Prima
Liege: Yes, my Elita seems to tolerate him so he can't be that bad.
Alpha: I'll...inform Dee that he should avoid Orion when he can...
Prima: This is why you are my favourite after my husband.
im in your balls
chandler: @duke you got the good shit?
duke: obviously, you seem to underesteimate me
chandler: how could i ever underestimate you?
chandler: oh mr megatronus just sent me a message about the camping trip
mcnamara: he isnt enforcing rules is he?
chandler: oh, he says keep his son away from that orion kid or his safety might not be guaranteed
mcnamara: orion? the one whos under mr prima?
chandler: yeah that kid
duke: why would his safety be jeopardised
mcnamara: probably because he keeps outwardly flirting with dee
chandler: hes focused on the wrong freshman though
duke: how do YOU know
mcnamara: dee seems to show more affection towards the redhead freshman from the autobots dorm
duke: rodimus?
chandler: the great shockwave didnt realise??
chandler: hes always flirting with dee in the big group chat, like, right now
starscream's glory hole
FLAME ON: @deebunked
FLAME ON: deeee, theres a new cake shop nearby do you wanna go!!!
deebunked: of course, if you dont mind waiting, i have club after school
FLAME ON: i'll wait for you then!!
im in your balls
duke: primus, they're getting to jazzwave levels this is horrible
mcnamara: orion is too straightforward, rodimus despite himself is somehow subtle about it
chandler: cant wait for mr prima to find out
starscream’s glory hole
papa: alright everyone! are you ready to go camping???
FLAME ON: YEAAAAAAH
bumbling: YESSSSSSS
skywarp: FUCK YEAH
doesnt keep the doctor away: HELL YEAH IM SO READY TO START FOREST FIRES
elite: how about we dont set forest fires
breakdown: so the high guard can put chemicals into the water but we cant set off a little fire?
hall prowler: maybe come back when you get good grades and connections
doesnt keep the doctor away: this is nepotism!!
car: unfortunately
circus baby: HAHA SUCK IT FUCKING LOSERS
circus bay: GET GOID OR SOMETHING
papa: please dont do anything horrible to the wildlife but out president is free game!
logical: dont mind me
deebunked: we havent even gotten on the bus yet…
FLAME ON: dee! i got a new game, i wanna show it to you on the bus!
deebunked: oh sure
bumbling: i wanna see too!!
FLAME ON: you can sit behind us!
onion: hey i wanted to sit next to dee!
FLAME ON: maybe you shouldve been faster LOLOLOLOL
mama: you two are acting like 5 year olds, the bus is here, get on
papa: nothing and no one is left behind?
elite: everything we need is already in the trailer
magnum: everyone accounted for
some guy: i still want to go disneyland!!
bonnie: yall hear sumn?
william afton: nah
elite: im tying him to the seat and taping his mouth, any objections
hall prowler: if you dont do it, i will
im in your balls
mcnamara: remember to keep orion away from dee
chandler: yeah yeah i got it
duke: either way, dee and rodimus seems to cuddled up to each other
mcnamara: [It’s a photo of Rodimus and Dee, they look very comfortable, Dee brought pillows and blankets for the ride. He is cuddled into Rodimus’ side while Rodimus plays his new game. Orion looks very disgruntled behind them, Bumblebee is a yellow blur.]
chandler: primus, they look like you and jazz back in freshman year
duke: so we dont need to do our jobs?
mcnamara: we can just let rodimus steal dee away, just dont tell mr prima
chandler: got it sounds
starscream’s glory hole
mama: freshman, put up the tents
mama: everyone else, either help the freshman or help to set up the food
circus baby: the allocations for tents will come later
logical: and please do not interact with the wildlife
unc status: does this include the three of you?
circus baby: who do you think we are?
unc status: oh thank primus
circus baby: of course we are excluded!
car: oh shit
elite: besides that, you three are being suspiciously responsible
logical: of course, our connections and reputation only gets us so far
magnum: and it has nothing to do with the suspiciously rocket launcher shaped duffel bag in the back of the bus?
mama: what duffel bag :)
magnum: okay nevermind…
School Board
Solus: For some reason, I feel a sense of pride for Soundwave
Zeta: You always do
Solus: Yes, but this time it feels like he’s doing right by my name
Alpha: Well I hope he isn’t doing anything bad…
Solus: Nonsense! Soundwave would never do anything bad!
Nexus: He caused at least five different incidents last month and blamed it another student
Solus: And did he get caught?
Onyx: Perhaps you shouldn’t be condoning this…
Solus: Tronus and Quintus gets to spoil their students but suddenly I can’t?
Solus: That’s so sexist Onyx, I can’t believe you
Onyx: Those two need to stop condoning the High Guard’s behaviours as well
Quintus: I don’t see why I should
Quintus: Shockwave is simply an inventor
Vector: Did he not attempt to experiment on his fellow students
Quintus: It is a dog eat dog world out there, Vector. I make sure my students know that as well.
Liege: Well, what’s Tronus’ excuse?
Megatronus: Dee seems to like them and they babysit him.
Prima: As much as I hate to admit it, yes, they do take care of Dee well.
Solus: Of course! My soundwave is just naturally talented at taking care of others!
Amalgamous: I think they are fine! My little Bumblebee idolises them too!
Zeta: I really don’t think Bee of all people should idolise them.
Solus: Nonetheless, I’m sure Soundwave is out there making me proud!
starscream’s glory hole
hall prowler: HOLY FUCK GET RID OF THAT ROCKET LAUNCHER RIGHT NOW
mama: dont worry, no wildlife will be harmed
papa: i’ll be supervising prowlers don’t worry! :)
an apple a day: SHOCKWAVE GET AWAY FROM THAT BIRD I SEE YOU HOLDING A SYRINGE
rockstar chica: WHERES STARSCREAM IVE LOSET HIM
deebunked: this camping trip is going great
elite: guys i found a pond with fish and turtles wanna come?
car: im omw!!
deebunked: running
bumbling: i wanna see!
onion: im coming!
FLAME ON: IM BRINGING BREAD
bonnie: WAIT WHAT IM SPRINTING
william afton: OH MY GOD SHOCKWAVE IS ON ME RATCHET HELP
an apple a day: SHOCKWAVE DO NOT EXPERIMENT ON OTHER STUDENTS
doesnt keep the doctor away: yeah if you want to, sentinels hiding in the yellow tent
some guy: NO NO GET AWAY FROMNENSJSKSXNVG
hall prowler: good.
logical: @spiderwoman, @sexiest medic and @mental come help me hold him down,
i found a new serum
spiderwoman:
magnum: was that a bomb…?
unc status: dont worry bout it kid
magnum: oh dear…
papa: soundwave’s caught us some food!
mama: i told you it would work
unc status: sorry sounders, i was familiar with but underestimated your game
mama: never underestimate me
rockstar chica: STARSCREAM GET OFF THAT TREE OH MY PRIMUS????
circus baby: i have become one with nature
circus baby: come my friends @mama and @logical, we shall rule this lawless land
magnum: we’re only 2 kilometres away from civilisation
hall prowler: maybe we should’ve fought to have had the bonding trip in a resort
circus baby: skyfire you will be emperor’s consort, skywarp and thundercracker shall be my closest servants
rockstar chica: thank you…? can you please come down from that tree dear
circus baby: jazz shall be soundwave’s husband with their hellhound, ravage, two birds and two random creatures from the depth of hell, blaster shall be his closest servant
unc status: actually what ARE rumble and frenzy
mama: creatures from the pits of hell, dont ask
papa: our lovely children
mama:
circus baby: shockwave will have his army of other medics and predacons
logical: dont worry i will treat all of you well…
sexiest medic: yo can i have special access to the lab and my boyfriend
logical: sure
elite: we’re back
elite: …
elite: why is starscream standing in a tree with war paint?
mama: we’re starting an empire, do you juniors and freshmen want to work under me?
car: state your case
mama: i have 5 creatures who very cute and
you will have full control of what weapons you want to make
elite: oh right, you are ms solus’ student
car: you know what, hell yeah im in
mama: dee i see you typing, remember when i didnt tell
mr prima about what you did, May 9th 5 years ago?
deebunked: …
deebunked: i’ll work under you
bumbling: im gonna follow dee then!
FLAME ON: i wanna join too!
onion: me too!!!
mama: yes, come to me my children
some guy: i have an empire too!
circus baby: ATTACK HIS EMPIRE NY SEEKERLINGS
magnum: im going to start on the food…
elite: okay so starscream’s empire is just the seekers, soundwave is his boyfriend, confidant and his many children and shockwaves is the medics?
car: i guess so
some guy: @hall prowler youre in my empire!
hall prowler: fuck no, im joining soundwave
mama: my empire only grows…
mental: i think thats the first time ive ever heard soundwave laugh like that
papa: isnt it the best?
mental: sure…
elite: @car lets be ambassadors
car: of course!!!
onion: does this happen every year?
elite: last year, the empire was the school board so id argue yes
william afton: oh i remember, it was hilarious to see little dee rip sentinel a new one
deebunked: oh primus dont remind me…
FLAME ON: why is sentinel always being shat on anyway
rockstar chica: oh primus you shouldnt have that
FLAME ON: huh why?
FLAME ON: I HEAR STOMPING
hall prowler: LET ME TELL YOU THIS MOTHERFUCKER TAKES UP MORE THAN THREE QUARTERS OF OUR DORM
hall prowler: HE NEVER DOES ANY OF WORK IN PROJECTS
hall prowler: I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DONT HAVE AS MANY CONNECTIONS
circus baby: hes just really annoying as a whole
logical: we need prowl alive, i dont want to deal with the logistics of prowl jumping
papa: he tried to hit on soundwave while we were on a date
mama: he lied to the entire school about being zeta’s son
which made everyone worship him
mama: with our combined connections and grades,
the high guard will take sentinel down
circus baby: he cant even break top 50, how pathetic is that?
circus baby: for someone whos our president, can you believe that?
deebunked: he also bullied me before he found out mr megatronus was my dad
FLAME ON: dont worry dee, i’ll get him back
bumbling: how could he!!
onion: wheres that piss haired president
magnum: the logical empire is busy using him to study for their exams
an apple a day: his refusal to ingest anything harmful to his
body makes it an amazing dummy
doesnt keep the doctor away: breakdown and i are helping them to hold him down!
an apple a day: yes, thank you dear
circus baby: COME MY SEEKERLINGS
circus baby: WE SHALL HUNT FOR FOOD
mama: we’re going to go foraging
william afton: hey soundwave can i borrow that rocket launcher
mana: 👍
william aftin: HELL YEAH
deebunked: is that safe?
onion: i dont think so
bumbling: how do we know what stuff can be eaten?
mama: hold on my children
unc status: i forgot you had that whistle
FLAME ON: THEYRE SURROUNDING DEE
please dont use our patients as experiments
smallest: what do i do with the presidents spleen?
sexiest: obviously we should sell it, its in perfect condition
prettiest: wont he be more likely to die?
scariest: like we all havent wished that on him?
prettiest: ??? ratchet are you not going to do anything
best: if i get a fraction of the money, i’ll close my eyes
prettiest: you know what
prettiest: i need a new stethoscope anyway
smallest: i have it in the jar!
best’s husband: dont worry guys, i’ll make sure you all get new kits
starscream’s glory hole
car: is that a spleen in a specimen jar
an apple a day: no
car:
car: alright
rockstar chica: we’re back with food
elite: that’s just bags full of meat from walmart
bonnie: well we cant actually kill the wildlife
magnum: where did you get the money for that
circus baby: slipstream and jazz’s black cards obviously
bumbling: the dj empire is back too!
sexiest medic: thats a lot of fruits and veggies
onion: the critters soundwave summoned led us to edible vegetation!
FLAME ON: a few of them gave us some from their stashes too, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT
mental: taking soundwave into consideration? i definitely can
im in your balls
chandler: im assuming the creatures saw dee and were smitten, however that works
mcnamara: yeah
duke: soundwave, your hell hound is biting sentinel
duke: we cant have his organs be damaged, we are selling them
mcnamara: she’s back with me now
duke: thank you
chandler: fuck we need to make sleeping allocations
mcnamara: [sleeping_arrangements.pdf]
chandler: soundwave i could kiss you
mcnamara: please dont, but i appreciate it
starscream’s glory hole
circus baby: thanks to soundwave’s amazing planning we have the sleeping arrangments
mama: [sleeping_arrangements.pdf]
logical: if you wish to leave the campsite, notify soundwave
logical: even if you dont, we will still know and we will hunt you down
FLAME ON: o-okay…
School Board
Prima: [It’s a picture of Dee and Bumblebee sleeping together, they were assigned to the same tent room]
Prima: Look how cute my son is!!!
Amalgamous: My bumbler is so cute too!
Nexus: Is that a body pillow of Tronus?
Megatronus: He begged me for one when he was a child.
Onyx: We sell those?
Zeta: How else do you think we make money?
Onyx: School fees.
Megatronus: The high guard have their own merch too.
Megatronus: It got sold out in one day.
Onyx: How…?
Vector: Well of course, Starscream is the youngest Aviator,
Soundwave hacked into the government files and Shockwave is the youngest Inventor
Solus: Don’t forget that they are all popular models too!
Onyx: One of those are not like the others.
Nexus: Jazz’s room is full of Soundwave merch, it’s kind of terrifying.
Alpha: At least he’s loyal?
Liege: They could easily make up an army if they weren’t busy playing around all the time.
Liege: Speaking of which, making merch of Dee may bring us some money as well.
Prima: No! What if perverts buy it to desecrate it!
Amalgamous: It could work! He used to act and model too didn’t he?
Megatronus: Yes, he usually acted as the younger sibling for
characters Soundwave plays due to their hair colour being similar.
Liege: His rooms are full of merch of Megatronus and Soundwave,
even the extremely limited ones.
Megatronus: Yes, he was excited to see that Soundwave would be babysitting him and made him sign all of his merch.
Prima: Anyways, NO!!
Prima: I know that Orion boy will buy them and Primus knows what he’ll do with them…
Alpha: Calm down Prima, I think it could be a good idea too.
Megatronus: It is a good way for Dee to be more out there.