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English
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Published:
2025-09-25
Updated:
2025-09-27
Words:
5,114
Chapters:
2/?
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screaming, shaking the bars of my enclosure like a manic orangutan

Summary:

elite: how loud is it that it can be heard from our dorm

doesn't keep the doctor away: it's shaking the dorm building actually

logical: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EROTICA PLAYING

logical: MY EXPERIMENTS MESSED UP NOW

or

this is a self indulgent chatfic

Notes:

heads up, this is gonna be SUPER out of character because its mainly just me talking to myself and then adjusting it to the way the character might be like, feel free to criticise the way i characterise them!

starscream’s glory hole:
orion (onion)
dee (deebunked)
bumblebee (bumbling)
arcee (car)
elita (elite)
ratchet (an apple a day)
skywarp (william afton)
thundercracker (bonnie)
soundwave (mama)
shockwave (logical)
starscream (circus baby)
skyfire (rockstar chica)
sentinel (some guy)
airachnid (spiderwoman)
jazz (papa)
blaster (unc status)
drift (doesn’t keep the doctor away)
rodimus (FLAME ON)
magnus (magnum)
knockout (sexiest medic)
breakdown (mental)
prowl (hall prowler)

please dont use our patients as experiments:
ratchet (best)
nautica (prettiest)
knockout (sexiest)
first aid (smallest)
shockwave (scariest)
drift (best’s husband)

prison wardens:
sentinel (ignore me)
starscream (S.S.)
soundwave (our lord and saviour)
shockwave (S.W.)
jazz (ACAB#2)
prowl (ACAB)
elita (E.O.)
magnus (ACAB#3)
airachnid (bodyguard)

im in your balls:
soundwave (mcnamara)
starscream (chandler)
shockwave (duke)

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: GETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEADGETOUTOFMYHEAD

Summary:

tis a new school year

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text



starscream' s glory hole

hall prowler: would someone like to explain what that moaning noise is

hall prowler: specifically the students in the decepticon dorms

sexiest medic: lets be real

sexiest medic:it's probably starscream

circus baby: what the fuck

circus baby: i'm not even in the dorms

bonnie: what IS that moaning actually

bonnie: why is it so loud

hall prowler: don't make me come over, i do NOT want to walk to whatever hell your dorm is

papa: @mama

mama: it's the freshmen

elite: how loud is it that it can be heard from our dorm

doesn't keep the doctor away: it's shaking the dorm building actually

logical: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT EROTICA PLAYING

logical: MY EXPERIMENTS MESSED UP NOW

mama: their speakers have been confiscated

william afton: can't lie, they've got good taste in PVs

mama has added Rodimus

unc status: isn't rodimus from the autobots dorms, what's he doing in the decepticon dorms

william afton: cus we're cooler, duh

william afton: autoBORES

unc status: deceptiWHORES

doesn't keep the doctor away: can't argue that

Rodimus: i've been promoted!! to the school groupchat!!!!

Rodimus: is maggie here? hey!

Rodimus: @magnum give me admin!

magnum: the day i give you admin in any chat is the day humanity has lost their gods

car: a little edgy huh

mama changed Rodimus's name to FLAME ON

FLAME ON: whateverrr, soundwave let us use his phone

mama added Orion, Dee and Bumblebee

Dee: hello...?

FLAME ON: its the school chat!!!!!

Dee: roddy is that you

FLAME ON: yeah! howd you know?

Dee: your name

Orion: oh! new people

Bumblebee: WOW IS THAT THE HIGH GUARDS IN THIS CHAT??

an apple a day: if you mean the three fuckers who keep fucking everything up, still have clean school records and in the student council?

circus baby: hey now

an apple a day: yeah, they're here

elite: the only reason they havent been expelled is because of their connections and jazz im pretty sure

papa: hey, gotta keep my boyfriend with me

mama: thank you jazz

papa: hold on, im coming over

logical: then im going to the labs
logical: no way in the PITS OF HELL AM I STAYING

circus baby: oh fuck is jazz coming

circus baby: skyfire, im coming over

Orion: is jazz that bad?

Dee: no but jazzwave's lovey doveyness is so bad it makes people viscerally sick

FLAME ON change Dee's name to deebunked
FLAME ON changed Orion's name to onion

FLAME ON chnaged Bumblebee's name to bumbling

some guy: HELLO MY FELLOW STUDENT BODY

bumbling: HELLO
bumbling:
bumbling: WHO ARE YOU?

elite: thats just sentinel, ignore him

onion: THE PRESIDENT????

mental: oh god i think i can hear soundwave moaning, KNOCKOUT LET ME IN YOUR ROOM I DONT WANT TO BE IN MY DORM

deebunked: ...
deebunked: im going to the autobots dorm




im in your balls

chandler: are you done

mcnamara: sounders asleep

chandler: can you guys fuck in the autobots dorm instead

mcnamara: lol maybe :P

duke: we are thankful you keep us from detention but holy fuck
duke: you didnt dirty the bed did you?

mcnamara: course not my mech!
mcnamara: [picture of Soundwave, his face is fully covered by Jazz's chest. He looks comfy.]

chandler: awwww you guys make so violently ill

duke: go do that with your boyfriend then

chandler: cant, hes at the lab

duke: yeah i know, hes next to me

chandler: THEN WHY THE FUK DID YIO ASK???

duke: because i wanted to see you grovel over the fact that skyfire is bus-
duke: oh shit-
duke: [It's a video, Skyfire's in the background mixing chemicals. "Oh shit", Skyfire. Shockwave turns around and something behind him explodes and the video cuts off]
duke: MY EXPERIMENTS




please dont use our patients as experiments:

smallest: how do i treat burn wounds...?

best: WHAT

scariest: i literally just told you wdym

prettiest: FIRST AID WHATEVER YOU DO DONT LISTEN TO SHOCKWAVE

scariest: HEY WHAT THE FUCK

best: ME AND NAUTICA ARE ON OUR WAY




prison wardens

S.S.: alright listen up gays
S.S.: theres gonna be a decepticon and autobot dorms camping trip

E.O.: wow, i sure hope we wont have to fight off beavers again

ACAB#2: how silly, of course not!
ACAB#2: it'll probably be bears!

ACAB#3: thats not very comforting...

ignore me: wait!

S.S.: not this guy...

ignore me: i thought we were going to disney land!

lord and saviour: @ACAB can you kick him out, heard its gonna be a sandstorm in 10 minutes

ACAB: way ahead of you

ignore me: airachnid! help!

bodyguard: i would but...the sandstorm's already here and i dont wanna get sand in my eyes

ACAB: on that note, @lord and savior, @S.S. and @S.W.
ACAB: DONT bring any weird things that could potentially put anyone in danger

S.S.: we would NEVERRRRR

ACAB: of course...
ACAB: because cyclonus definitely didnt get some weird new disease from last year's camping trip

S.W.: and it made him an arguably better person

E.O.: he was in the hospital for two months :heart:

S.W.: either way, i was gonna kidnap sentinel and get him somewhere no one can find him

ACAB: oh. well have fun

S.W.: i most definitely will




School Board

Alpha: Are we absolutely sure the camping trip is a good idea?

Prima: Yes, exactly! What if my precious Dee gets hurt???

Megatronus: Dee is old enough to take care of himself and I'm sure the high guard can protect him as well.

Vector: Are you sure? Last year, they somehow managed to set up a bomb level firework during the bonding trip....

Amalgamous: Come on now, they werre having fun!

Vector: How haven't they been expelled yet.

Onyx: They are in the top 5 of the school and in the world for their GPA.

Liege: They also use the fact that Soundwave is dating Jazz to get Nexus to pardon them.

Nexus: Well how am I supposed to say no to my son?

Solus: They also became the face of the school, we have thousands of applicants coming in each year just to see them.

Onyx: Expelling them would be hard on the school.

Quintus: Shockwave is sure to be quite the inventor once he graduates...

Liege: You mean an insane scientist with no morals?

Quintus: Just one of my student's many traits.

Prima: But still, what if that Orion Pax tries to deflower my Dee!

Zeta: I'm sure he'll be fine, Prima

Liege: Yes, my Elita seems to tolerate him so he can't be that bad.

Alpha: I'll...inform Dee that he should avoid Orion when he can...

Prima: This is why you are my favourite after my husband.




im in your balls

chandler: @duke you got the good shit?

duke: obviously, you seem to underesteimate me

chandler: how could i ever underestimate you?
chandler: oh mr megatronus just sent me a message about the camping trip

mcnamara: he isnt enforcing rules is he?

chandler: oh, he says keep his son away from that orion kid or his safety might not be guaranteed

mcnamara: orion? the one whos under mr prima?

chandler: yeah that kid

duke: why would his safety be jeopardised

mcnamara: probably because he keeps outwardly flirting with dee

chandler: hes focused on the wrong freshman though

duke: how do YOU know

mcnamara: dee seems to show more affection towards the redhead freshman from the autobots dorm

duke: rodimus?

chandler: the great shockwave didnt realise??
chandler: hes always flirting with dee in the big group chat, like, right now




starscream's glory hole

FLAME ON: @deebunked
FLAME ON: deeee, theres a new cake shop nearby do you wanna go!!!

deebunked: of course, if you dont mind waiting, i have club after school

FLAME ON: i'll wait for you then!!




im in your balls

duke: primus, they're getting to jazzwave levels this is horrible

mcnamara: orion is too straightforward, rodimus despite himself is somehow subtle about it

chandler: cant wait for mr prima to find out




starscream’s glory hole

papa: alright everyone! are you ready to go camping???

FLAME ON: YEAAAAAAH

bumbling: YESSSSSSS

skywarp: FUCK YEAH

doesnt keep the doctor away: HELL YEAH IM SO READY TO START FOREST FIRES

elite: how about we dont set forest fires

breakdown: so the high guard can put chemicals into the water but we cant set off a little fire?

hall prowler: maybe come back when you get good grades and connections

doesnt keep the doctor away: this is nepotism!!

car: unfortunately

circus baby: HAHA SUCK IT FUCKING LOSERS
circus bay: GET GOID OR SOMETHING

papa: please dont do anything horrible to the wildlife but out president is free game!

logical: dont mind me

deebunked: we havent even gotten on the bus yet…

FLAME ON: dee! i got a new game, i wanna show it to you on the bus!

deebunked: oh sure

bumbling: i wanna see too!!

FLAME ON: you can sit behind us!

onion: hey i wanted to sit next to dee!

FLAME ON: maybe you shouldve been faster LOLOLOLOL

mama: you two are acting like 5 year olds, the bus is here, get on

papa: nothing and no one is left behind?

elite: everything we need is already in the trailer

magnum: everyone accounted for

some guy: i still want to go disneyland!!

bonnie: yall hear sumn?

william afton: nah

elite: im tying him to the seat and taping his mouth, any objections

hall prowler: if you dont do it, i will




im in your balls

mcnamara: remember to keep orion away from dee

chandler: yeah yeah i got it

duke: either way, dee and rodimus seems to cuddled up to each other

mcnamara: [It’s a photo of Rodimus and Dee, they look very comfortable, Dee brought pillows and blankets for the ride. He is cuddled into Rodimus’ side while Rodimus plays his new game. Orion looks very disgruntled behind them, Bumblebee is a yellow blur.]

chandler: primus, they look like you and jazz back in freshman year

duke: so we dont need to do our jobs?

mcnamara: we can just let rodimus steal dee away, just dont tell mr prima

chandler: got it sounds




starscream’s glory hole

mama: freshman, put up the tents

mama: everyone else, either help the freshman or help to set up the food

circus baby: the allocations for tents will come later

logical: and please do not interact with the wildlife

unc status: does this include the three of you?

circus baby: who do you think we are?

unc status: oh thank primus

circus baby: of course we are excluded!

car: oh shit

elite: besides that, you three are being suspiciously responsible

logical: of course, our connections and reputation only gets us so far

magnum: and it has nothing to do with the suspiciously rocket launcher shaped duffel bag in the back of the bus?

mama: what duffel bag :)

magnum: okay nevermind…




School Board

Solus: For some reason, I feel a sense of pride for Soundwave

Zeta: You always do

Solus: Yes, but this time it feels like he’s doing right by my name

Alpha: Well I hope he isn’t doing anything bad…

Solus: Nonsense! Soundwave would never do anything bad!

Nexus: He caused at least five different incidents last month and blamed it another student

Solus: And did he get caught?

Onyx: Perhaps you shouldn’t be condoning this…

Solus: Tronus and Quintus gets to spoil their students but suddenly I can’t?
Solus: That’s so sexist Onyx, I can’t believe you

Onyx: Those two need to stop condoning the High Guard’s behaviours as well

Quintus: I don’t see why I should
Quintus: Shockwave is simply an inventor

Vector: Did he not attempt to experiment on his fellow students

Quintus: It is a dog eat dog world out there, Vector. I make sure my students know that as well.

Liege: Well, what’s Tronus’ excuse?

Megatronus: Dee seems to like them and they babysit him.

Prima: As much as I hate to admit it, yes, they do take care of Dee well.

Solus: Of course! My soundwave is just naturally talented at taking care of others!

Amalgamous: I think they are fine! My little Bumblebee idolises them too!

Zeta: I really don’t think Bee of all people should idolise them.

Solus: Nonetheless, I’m sure Soundwave is out there making me proud!




starscream’s glory hole

hall prowler: HOLY FUCK GET RID OF THAT ROCKET LAUNCHER RIGHT NOW

mama: dont worry, no wildlife will be harmed

papa: i’ll be supervising prowlers don’t worry! :)

an apple a day: SHOCKWAVE GET AWAY FROM THAT BIRD I SEE YOU HOLDING A SYRINGE

rockstar chica: WHERES STARSCREAM IVE LOSET HIM

deebunked: this camping trip is going great

elite: guys i found a pond with fish and turtles wanna come?

car: im omw!!

deebunked: running

bumbling: i wanna see!

onion: im coming!

FLAME ON: IM BRINGING BREAD

bonnie: WAIT WHAT IM SPRINTING

william afton: OH MY GOD SHOCKWAVE IS ON ME RATCHET HELP

an apple a day: SHOCKWAVE DO NOT EXPERIMENT ON OTHER STUDENTS

doesnt keep the doctor away: yeah if you want to, sentinels hiding in the yellow tent

some guy: NO NO GET AWAY FROMNENSJSKSXNVG

hall prowler: good.

logical: @spiderwoman, @sexiest medic and @mental come help me hold him down, i found a new serum

spiderwoman:

magnum: was that a bomb…?

unc status: dont worry bout it kid

magnum: oh dear…

papa: soundwave’s caught us some food!

mama: i told you it would work

unc status: sorry sounders, i was familiar with but underestimated your game

mama: never underestimate me

rockstar chica: STARSCREAM GET OFF THAT TREE OH MY PRIMUS????

circus baby: i have become one with nature
circus baby: come my friends @mama and @logical, we shall rule this lawless land

magnum: we’re only 2 kilometres away from civilisation

hall prowler: maybe we should’ve fought to have had the bonding trip in a resort

circus baby: skyfire you will be emperor’s consort, skywarp and thundercracker shall be my closest servants

rockstar chica: thank you…? can you please come down from that tree dear

circus baby: jazz shall be soundwave’s husband with their hellhound, ravage, two birds and two random creatures from the depth of hell, blaster shall be his closest servant

unc status: actually what ARE rumble and frenzy

mama: creatures from the pits of hell, dont ask

papa: our lovely children

mama:

circus baby: shockwave will have his army of other medics and predacons

logical: dont worry i will treat all of you well…

sexiest medic: yo can i have special access to the lab and my boyfriend

logical: sure

elite: we’re back
elite: …
elite: why is starscream standing in a tree with war paint?

mama: we’re starting an empire, do you juniors and freshmen want to work under me?

car: state your case

mama: i have 5 creatures who very cute and you will have full control of what weapons you want to make

elite: oh right, you are ms solus’ student

car: you know what, hell yeah im in

mama: dee i see you typing, remember when i didnt tell mr prima about what you did, May 9th 5 years ago?

deebunked: …
deebunked: i’ll work under you

bumbling: im gonna follow dee then!

FLAME ON: i wanna join too!

onion: me too!!!

mama: yes, come to me my children

some guy: i have an empire too!

circus baby: ATTACK HIS EMPIRE NY SEEKERLINGS

magnum: im going to start on the food…

elite: okay so starscream’s empire is just the seekers, soundwave is his boyfriend, confidant and his many children and shockwaves is the medics?

car: i guess so

some guy: @hall prowler youre in my empire!

hall prowler: fuck no, im joining soundwave

mama: my empire only grows…

mental: i think thats the first time ive ever heard soundwave laugh like that

papa: isnt it the best?

mental: sure…

elite: @car lets be ambassadors

car: of course!!!

onion: does this happen every year?

elite: last year, the empire was the school board so id argue yes

william afton: oh i remember, it was hilarious to see little dee rip sentinel a new one

deebunked: oh primus dont remind me…

FLAME ON: why is sentinel always being shat on anyway

rockstar chica: oh primus you shouldnt have that

FLAME ON: huh why?
FLAME ON: I HEAR STOMPING

hall prowler: LET ME TELL YOU THIS MOTHERFUCKER TAKES UP MORE THAN THREE QUARTERS OF OUR DORM
hall prowler: HE NEVER DOES ANY OF WORK IN PROJECTS
hall prowler: I CANT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE I DONT HAVE AS MANY CONNECTIONS

circus baby: hes just really annoying as a whole

logical: we need prowl alive, i dont want to deal with the logistics of prowl jumping

papa: he tried to hit on soundwave while we were on a date

mama: he lied to the entire school about being zeta’s son which made everyone worship him
mama: with our combined connections and grades, the high guard will take sentinel down

circus baby: he cant even break top 50, how pathetic is that?
circus baby: for someone whos our president, can you believe that?

deebunked: he also bullied me before he found out mr megatronus was my dad

FLAME ON: dont worry dee, i’ll get him back

bumbling: how could he!!

onion: wheres that piss haired president

magnum: the logical empire is busy using him to study for their exams

an apple a day: his refusal to ingest anything harmful to his body makes it an amazing dummy

doesnt keep the doctor away: breakdown and i are helping them to hold him down!

an apple a day: yes, thank you dear

circus baby: COME MY SEEKERLINGS
circus baby: WE SHALL HUNT FOR FOOD

mama: we’re going to go foraging

william afton: hey soundwave can i borrow that rocket launcher

mana: 👍

william aftin: HELL YEAH

deebunked: is that safe?

onion: i dont think so

bumbling: how do we know what stuff can be eaten?

mama: hold on my children

unc status: i forgot you had that whistle

FLAME ON: THEYRE SURROUNDING DEE




please dont use our patients as experiments

smallest: what do i do with the presidents spleen?

sexiest: obviously we should sell it, its in perfect condition

prettiest: wont he be more likely to die?

scariest: like we all havent wished that on him?

prettiest: ??? ratchet are you not going to do anything

best: if i get a fraction of the money, i’ll close my eyes

prettiest: you know what

prettiest: i need a new stethoscope anyway

smallest: i have it in the jar!

best’s husband: dont worry guys, i’ll make sure you all get new kits




starscream’s glory hole

car: is that a spleen in a specimen jar

an apple a day: no

car:
car: alright

rockstar chica: we’re back with food

elite: that’s just bags full of meat from walmart

bonnie: well we cant actually kill the wildlife

magnum: where did you get the money for that

circus baby: slipstream and jazz’s black cards obviously

bumbling: the dj empire is back too!

sexiest medic: thats a lot of fruits and veggies

onion: the critters soundwave summoned led us to edible vegetation!

FLAME ON: a few of them gave us some from their stashes too, CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT

mental: taking soundwave into consideration? i definitely can




im in your balls

chandler: im assuming the creatures saw dee and were smitten, however that works

mcnamara: yeah

duke: soundwave, your hell hound is biting sentinel
duke: we cant have his organs be damaged, we are selling them

mcnamara: she’s back with me now

duke: thank you

chandler: fuck we need to make sleeping allocations

mcnamara: [sleeping_arrangements.pdf]

chandler: soundwave i could kiss you

mcnamara: please dont, but i appreciate it




starscream’s glory hole

circus baby: thanks to soundwave’s amazing planning we have the sleeping arrangments

mama: [sleeping_arrangements.pdf]

logical: if you wish to leave the campsite, notify soundwave
logical: even if you dont, we will still know and we will hunt you down

FLAME ON: o-okay…




School Board

Prima: [It’s a picture of Dee and Bumblebee sleeping together, they were assigned to the same tent room]
Prima: Look how cute my son is!!!

Amalgamous: My bumbler is so cute too!

Nexus: Is that a body pillow of Tronus?

Megatronus: He begged me for one when he was a child.

Onyx: We sell those?

Zeta: How else do you think we make money?

Onyx: School fees.

Megatronus: The high guard have their own merch too.
Megatronus: It got sold out in one day.

Onyx: How…?

Vector: Well of course, Starscream is the youngest Aviator, Soundwave hacked into the government files and Shockwave is the youngest Inventor

Solus: Don’t forget that they are all popular models too!

Onyx: One of those are not like the others.

Nexus: Jazz’s room is full of Soundwave merch, it’s kind of terrifying.

Alpha: At least he’s loyal?

Liege: They could easily make up an army if they weren’t busy playing around all the time.
Liege: Speaking of which, making merch of Dee may bring us some money as well.

Prima: No! What if perverts buy it to desecrate it!

Amalgamous: It could work! He used to act and model too didn’t he?

Megatronus: Yes, he usually acted as the younger sibling for characters Soundwave plays due to their hair colour being similar.

Liege: His rooms are full of merch of Megatronus and Soundwave, even the extremely limited ones.

Megatronus: Yes, he was excited to see that Soundwave would be babysitting him and made him sign all of his merch.

Prima: Anyways, NO!!
Prima: I know that Orion boy will buy them and Primus knows what he’ll do with them…

Alpha: Calm down Prima, I think it could be a good idea too.

Megatronus: It is a good way for Dee to be more out there.

Notes:

thanks for reading! leave a kudos if you liked it, im open to constructive criticism! if you have any ideas for chapters please comment it, i would love to know!

Chapter 2: the school is haunted, i wonder why

Summary:

whats that whispering in the halls?

Notes:

sorry, this chapter is really short!

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

starscream's glory hole

circus baby: i think that went arguably well

elite: i dont think i can take another year of these bonding camps with you

circus baby: it went GREAT wdym elita

car: not sure if i could call almost starting a cult, great

logical: almost? you severely underestimate us, we already established a cult

deebunked: we have?

mama: yes, it's called the student council

hall prowler: i hate to agree but he's right

elite: is that why it always feels like we are worshipping someone during meetings?

papa: yeah lmao, the school IS a cult

onion: huh-

mental: that explains the propoganda posters all over the school

logical: incorrect, half of them are cult propoganda, the other half are motivational posters

bumbling: but they all look the same?

unc status: don't worry bee, you'll get the difference in a few years

deebunked: are the ones that seem more suggestive the propoganda?

mama: yes, your time will come too, to make these posters

deebunked: what.

logical: it is but, a rite of passage

FLAME ON: wait sorry, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL IS A CULT???

doesnt keep the doctor away: i think it has been since the high guards joined

circus baby: we're just too good

onion: if it's a cult, who are we worshipping?

bonnie: realistically, it's the high guards

william afton: literally, it's soundwave LMAO

sexiest medic: oh shit, that does make sense

elite: IS THAT WHY HIS NAME IS THAT IN THE SC CHAT

magnum: unfortunately

elite: YOU KNEW AND DIDNT TELL ME??

magnum: i assumed someone as smart as you would've realised it

elite: i suspected it but oh my primus???

rockstar chica: you should come to the weekly seances, they are rather fun!

an apple a day: SEANCES???

circus baby: skyfire! i told you not to tell others!!!

car: is that why i keep hearing whispers in the school sometimes :,)

hall prowler: student council bonding dont worry about it

mama: we are figuring out how to sacrifice sentinel

elite: oh that was a cult thing? i thought it was just a we hate sentinel thing

logical: both, soundwave only accepts the blood of sinners

onion: i found a book about seances if you want it?

circus baby: worry not young orion pax! we have been researching since freshmen year, but this year will be the year

magnum: for what?

logical: with months of researching, starscream is finally 18 so we are buing books off the black market

unc status: months of researching and its just soundwave asking around until you found it

circus baby: we stand by our words

deebunked: where do you even find time to do this?

papa: somewhere in between tutoring lessons and musical recitals!

bumbling: the black market is crazy-

car: how did you even find such a thing

circus baby: convinced soundwave might be royalty but i can't prove it


hall prowler: arent YOU royalty?

william afton: like, distantly

logical: imagine being rich

deebunked: at least you have one of the biggest achievements out of the three of you?

logical: this is why you are my favourite junior

sexiest medic: WHAT! WHAT ABOUT ME IM YOUR ASSISTANT???

logical: second favourite obviously, i can somewhat tolerate you but you are on thin ice.




im in your balls

duke: sounds, you literally have a crown

mcnamara: that i got for my birthday, from jazz

chandler: what about the insane amounts of sweets you get

duke: hes rich starscream, think of something only royals have

chandler: diplomatic visits?

mcnamara: jazz's plus one

duke: the way we are free from crimes because of your connections?

mcnamara: i know good lawyers

chandler: two birthdays

mcnamara: one is at school then i go back and celebrate with family

duke: driving without a liscense or a liscence plate number???

mcnamara: good lawyers

chandler: where do you even get cars with no plate numbers????

mcnamara: solus made me a bike and jazz bought me other cars

chandler: jazz spoils you way too much

duke: then ask skyfire to spoil you more

chandler: he isnt as rich as jazz!

mcnamara: i thought you said you liked spoiling him

chandler: i do! im just saying jazz spoils you too much

duke: hypocrite.

mcnamara: yeah starscream, i can't believe you

duke: you house is literally a castle though

mcnamara: the one i brought you guys those?
mcnamara: that's my family's summer house

chandler: i'm sorry?

mcnamara: it's okay

chandler: YOUR SUMMER HOUSE IS AS BIG AS MY ACTUAL HOUSE

duke: shut up star, your bathroom is literally the size of my apartment AFTER i got money from being an inventor

chandler: okay whatever but still what the fuck

duke: wait where was your hometown again

mcnamara: i have never told you guys

chandler: you're gonna make us guess?
chandler: your best friends???

mcnamara: yeah lmao

duke: its not helex since that's where star's family is from

chandler: it's not iacon or cyber city either

mcnamara: either way i'm not telling you, so have fun




starscream's glory hole
circus baby: WHAT

deebunked: it's 4am what the fuck

logical: apologies, starscream and i were researching where soundwave hailed FROM

circus baby: YOUR FAMILY IS THSjkjabdkjx

mama: if anyone tries to look anything up, be prepared to have your darkest secrets plastered on the school board

logical: this is not normal, i'm so fucking scared

bumbling: THE shockwave? actually scared?

elite: bee, he's a lot more of a pussy than you actually think he is
elite: and why are yiu still up?

logical: soundwave controls my budget and also where i sleep so i will do whatever he asks

deebunked: what was that scream…

mama: dont worry dear, go back to sleep

elite: holy shit, i could hear that from the autobots dorm

rockstar chica: I JUST HEARD STAR SCREAM

mama: dont worry about it

logical: iwontsayanythingpleasedontkillme

mama: You’d better, I am always watching and listening.

sexiest medic: oh my primus, shockwave actually listening to someone??

unc status: soundwave ain't someone you wanna mess with

mama: everyone go to sleep or i will drug all of you with melatonin

elite: sleeping.




in the clerb, we all fam
boombox: @cassette, did they find out about your family LMAO

cassette: i wasn't hiding it from my roommates but i suppose so

dj player: we gotta keep it on the down low tho! its not exactly something they should know without being from your hometown

cassette: you two are trained saboteurs, i'm pretty sure you could
cassette: starscream on the other hand...

boombox: his name ain't starscream for no reason
boombox: i still can't believe he eavesdropped on our convo and blabbed to the whole school!

dj player: yeah but that was about your dog shitting on the gardener's flowers

boombox: and i got into trouble!

dj player: blaster we don't even know what ravage is and even she doens't go around shitting in people's gardens

cassette: don't compare ravage to blaster's uncouth dog

boombox: UNCOUTH???

cassette: ravage, no matte what she may be is a creature of pure elegance

boombox: even after she pickpocketed like half the cohort????

cassette: and she did it very elegantly
cassette: no one found out until YOU SNITCHED AFTER STEELJAW GOT CAUGHT

boombox: I WAS NOT GOING DOWN ALONE

cassette: COME BACK WHEN YOU FINALLY POTTY TRAIN HIM
cassette: SNITCHES GET STITCHES

boombox: YOU MANIFESTED THIS
boombox: I LITERALLY GOT STITCHES AFTER THAT WHOLE THING
boombox: STOP WITH YOUR FUCKING CRYSTALS AND SPELLS SHIT

cassette: your stitches weren't even that bad
cassette: it was ONE stitch you crybaby

dj player: can't argue that!

boombox: shut up jazz, you and your 100 battle scars 🥲
boombox: whatever...anyways i got the stuff for your weird student council ritual

cassette: thank you blaster
cassette: see this is why i kept you around even after you snitched on ravage

boombox: i would box you if not for the fact that she would maul me

cassette: one of her many amazing traits

dj player: the materials are in our dorm room 💜

cassette: thank you darling
cassette: blaster, i hope you start levitating in your sleep

boombox: lets try not speaking anything into existence




prison wardens
Jazz: i have the good kush, i'm leaving class right now!

E.O.: we're really leaning into the cult stuff huh

S.S.: we always have been, honorary vice president

ACAB#3: I am still surprised you didn't catch on after the first five attempts to sacrifcice Sentinel, Elita.

E.O.: i thought it was just a thing the high guards did for fun...

S.W.: oh no it is, we just dragged the rest of them with us

ACAB: i am all for sacrificing sentinel

ACAB#2: i'm the main provider for their rituals

bodyguard: sentinel doesn't pay me

ACAB#3: i start praying for my grades instead

E.O.: okay...

Notes:

thank you for reading! please kudos and comments if you liked it, i'm always open to ideas!

Notes:

thanks for reading! i dont mind any constructive criticism, im not very good at writing