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Claude has always known that he was hurt more by the breakup. He understands the business side of driving, but the way everything went down is something he may never recover from.
Even as years pass, as others come in and out of his life, as he watches Danny date and get engaged, he wishes it all happened differently. That everyone could be happy. That he could be happy.
Not that he’d ever say that out loud.
Ask any of his friends, and they’d tell you that he’s fine, that he’d tell them if something was up. Or, at least, he’d tell them if he wanted support. It’s difficult, though, to talk to some of the guys when they’re still buddies with Danny.
Claude didn’t expect to be invited to the wedding. Why would Danny invite his ex that he hasn’t talked to in years? He knows a lot of people going, though. Hartnell let some information slip. Of course Hartnell is going to Danny’s wedding, and of course he can’t keep his damn mouth shut. He’s not going to use any information that Hartnell told him. Or the picture he totally didn’t take of the invite. He’s stable enough to know better.
Well. Sober Claude is stable enough to know better.
He’s not entirely sure what exactly led him to this moment, but here he is stepping out of an Uber at Danny’s wedding reception. God, he’s crazy. Danny’s going to hate him forever.
He immediately feels out of place, surrounded by suits and nice dresses. He didn’t even consider changing out of the t-shirt and jeans he was wearing or taking the stupid baseball cap off his head. The puffer jacket he threw on to fight the cold doesn’t stop him from sticking out either.
He hears Hartnell’s worried “what’re you doing here?” but doesn’t stop. He swipes the champagne glass in front of Danny’s new husband, continuing to ignore anything people say around him. He downs the glass, and a few minutes later there is a microphone in his hand. God, why does he have a microphone? Who’s stupid enough to give him a microphone in this state?
“Danny, mon ange,” he says, and it doesn’t feel like it’s really coming from him. He can’t stop the words coming out of his mouth, “I am so happy for you. I really–I have no problems with the fact that… that someone else got to put a ring on your finger. It’s good it’s not me.”
Everyone’s silent. Claude’s not sure when the music stopped. Why is he here? Why did he say that? He needs to get out of here, but he can’t bring himself to move.
But then, Danny steps forward, gently trying to take the microphone from Claude’s hand. Claude holds onto it tighter.
Maybe, Claude thinks, this is Danny realizing his mistake. He’s finally going to come crawling back to Claude.
“You shouldn’t be here,” are the words that come out of Danny’s mouth. Not what Claude was hoping for.
“No, no, listen, I need you to know I’m fine without you,” Claude insists.
Danny sighs, “Is there anyone I can call to come get you?”
“Do you think I don’t have friends?” Claude’s voice comes out as more of a whine than he wants, “I’ve got friends, Danny. Just cause I’m not surrounded by-by all these NASCAR execs and up and coming drivers doesn’t mean I don’t have friends.”
“I didn’t say–”
“I’m not washed up, Danny!”
“You’re not washed up,” Danny repeats back, and Claude almost thinks Danny believes it, “But you are causing a scene.”
Claude tries to blink the tears out of his eyes, “You need to know I’m okay, mon ange.”
“I hope so, Claude, it’s been ten years,” Despite the fact that Danny is still talking softly, his words absolutely crush Claude.
Ten years.
Ten. Years.
“I… I’m gonna go,” Claude finally hands over the microphone.
Hartnell comes over, putting his arm over Claude’s shoulder. He leads Claude out of the venue. Claude can’t stop himself from looking back, expecting at least a look of pity from the man he once thought he was going to spend his whole life with.
Danny doesn’t even spare him another glance.