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Warm. It felt warm. The breath he exhaled, the lips that kissed his slender neck, and the hands that touched his body. Everything was warm. His face, his body, his heart.
His hand sank into the crook of his beloved neck. He held it gently, like the kisses that constantly graced his chest. His heart was full, he let himself moan.
"San," he called softly. His eyes refused to close, wanting to drink everything he could get right now. There was nothing better than letting your greedy desire have something it had long desired within its grasp.
“San. Darling,” he called again. His breath hitched as his eyes met San’s. His heart felt like it was about to burst from his chest as he saw the same thirst in those eyes. San’s pupils dilated, consumed by lust.
A soft groan from San's lips reached his ears as his right hand caressed San’s cheek lovingly.
I love you, he thought. I want to kiss your lips, devour them, eat you whole. I want you.
His mind was full, his heart was full. Even though San was the only one there, it felt full.
Seonghwa didn't mind. He felt like he was floating. Or perhaps, he was drowning from the weight of his feelings.
Either way, if he died with these feelings, he would thank the gods for dying in the warm embrace of the one he loved.
“What’s on your mind? Why did you leave me here?” a warm whisper in Seonghwa’s left ear brought him back to earth. Another kiss landed on the crook of his neck, San burying his love there deep.
He moaned again. San's hand didn't stop, fondly stroking his inner thigh. Both San's hand and Seonghwa's mind were getting higher. Gone.
San's name came out of Seonghwa's lips again, quietly because he was afraid it was all just a dream.
“Don’t hide yourself from me,” San said, now looking at him closely. His hands kept himself from falling on Seonghwa, but he still kept the distance between their chests to be close. “My darling, I want to hear you. Let me be yours.”
It’s funny, Seonghwa thought. Who wants to be who? How could San ask to be his when he already had Seonghwa in his grasp?
So he smiled. A small laugh escaped his chest. Caressing San's cheek affectionately again, Seonghwa let his heart speak, "I've been yours from the start."
Thirsty. They drank each other like they were possessed. Warm and wet, that was all Seonghwa felt. He might die from how he refused to break the kiss to fill his lungs.
But it was okay. He was thirsty. He was kissing San. San was kissing him. It was okay.
The warmth enveloped his body again. His legs spread wider, allowing San to come closer, become one with him.
The kiss finally broke, allowing a broken moan to escape Seonghwa’s lips. San swallowed the sound again. His hands were busy holding Seonghwa's waist, letting his lust take over.
The room was warm. Sweat began to coat both of their bodies. There was no space for either of them to hide in silence.
Moans and growls filled the room. All shame is gone, Seonghwa couldn't tell which moans were his own and which were coming from his beloved, San.
He feels so full. His body, his heart. Everything.
Love. My love. He whispered softly. At least that's what he thought. It probably sounded like a mere murmur to San's ears.
However, his tongue could do nothing but help him swallow the saliva that had gathered in his mouth before being swallowed again by the warmth of San's tongue.
“Seonghwa,” San moaned as Seonghwa’s fingers gently scratched his back. Red lines began to form there. Seonghwa was pouring his love into him. Oh, his heart was so full.
His movements grew faster, the screeching of his bed filling their ears. Seonghwa didn't care if his neighbors would come in the morning to kill them both for their sin.
He felt full. His heart, his body. So full. He could explode right now with all the feelings he had for the man in his arms.
Seonghwa loved San. For so long. It wasn't fair. To bury those feelings for so many years. From himself, from his parents, from God Himself.
He let the night swallow him alive. He Let himself drown in the thirst he had buried for a long time. If he died tomorrow morning, at least he would know he was loved.
Those lips gently kiss his lips again. Seonghwa thought he was going crazy with how he could taste the sweetness of San's lips between his teeth.
The string inside him tightened, his breathing became faster. "San, I'm close." he said softly.
San just nodded. His movements quickened. His grip on Seonghwa's waist tightened, pulling him closer. And the string snapped.
Warm. He was warm. San's breath on his shoulder, San’s body finally giving up and resting on top of Seonghwa, and their bodies covered in sweat from head to toe.
The fluid in Seonghwa's stomach began to feel sticky between their bodies. San hadn't pulled away yet. He was still busy caressing and teasing Seonghwa with small bites at the junction of his neck and shoulder. His love for him was already deeply etched.
“I love you,” Seonghwa confessed. Finally let those words come as the truth.
His heart skipped a beat as San stopped kissing him. He shouldn't have said that. Now everything was ruined.
San lifted his head. Seonghwa's lower lip trembled when he didn't find what he feared in those dark eyes. They weren't ruined.
There was no need to guess what he saw inside San's eyes. San loudly poured out his feelings to Seonghwa's palms, “Me too. I love you too.”
Their lips met again. And as if they are possessed by thirst again, Seonghwa took the steering wheel and moved San as he pleased. He kissed him closer, devoured him deeper.
His thirst didn't go away. He became more and more greedy.
But He was tired. So tired. His eyes began to close as San kissed his forehead and pull himself away from him. Seonghwa's hand was still around San's wrist. Not tight, but strong enough to keep him there.
“I’m not going anywhere,” San assured Seonghwa. His fading consciousness still caught the smile on San’s lips. “I’ll clean up after us. Get some rest.”
Seonghwa let himself drown.
When he returned to the surface, the sun was already caressing his cheeks lovingly.
The blanket that covered him up to his waist was soaked with stains. There is a wet spot there. He had another wet dream. He had sinned again.
Getting up from his bed, Seonghwa let out a sigh. June 17th. The day of his death had come.
Reluctantly, he cleaned himself up. He took a shirt from the closet and straightened himself in the mirror. Today, he had to be happy.
A vibrating sound from the table caught his attention. The screen lit up, displaying a message that made him tilt his head even further.
San
Don't come.
Don't come to my wedding.
There is no you there.
I won't come either.
Seonghwa.
Meet me at Terminal Three.
Canada sounds fun.
Humming, Seonghwa continued buttoning his shirt. Well, if he remembers correctly his passport and savings were enough for them to be strangers in a foreign land.
Seonghwa also doesn't want to come to the wedding if San isn't there.
If San is in Terminal Three. He's going there. As San said, Canada sounds great.