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With Bahamut finally defeated, and the heart of Drake’s Tail shattered, Ifrit dove through the planet’s atmosphere. He needed to get back—had to. It was with the intensity of hellflare that one thought burst into Clive’s mind, drowning out all else and frying its edges, as Ifrit plummeted.
Joshua!
When Ifrit Risen had ceased to be, the sudden shock of the Eikons’ diffusion felt to Clive as though he’d been cleaved in two by Zantetsuken. Joshua had been there—right there—beside him, part of him. Their souls and bodies were as one, so to have the Phoenix cleaved from him had inflicted upon him a pain like no other, and left behind a gaping, aching emptiness. It was compared to that that his midair detransformation came and went as…nothing—little more than a product of instinct.
The closer the planet’s surface drew, the more Clive could feel Joshua. If the world itself was of darkness, then Joshua’s presence was a lone, flickering flame, cutting through it all with its warmth and glow. If the world was trying to suffocate that flame and swallow its light, then Clive was making a beeline for it, reaching back for the soul which was so desperately reaching for his own. He would share with Joshua his own flames if–
The moment his soles met solid earth, he felt Joshua’s flickering soul, and just how near it was now. He bound into a run, seeking that light, tracing their connection like a lifeline.
“Joshua!” Clive yelled, desperation near pervading his tone.
He could see him ahead now, hands and knees on the ground amidst the rubble of the capitol, in front of where a body laid supine. When Joshua looked up at him, all else began to fade away. Clive’s entire world at that moment was Joshua, who was staggering to his feet at the sight of him.
“Clive!” Joshua called back with equal parts desperation, limping towards Clive as quickly as he could manage.
My… My… Joshua…
It was for a brief moment that Clive stopped, as did Joshua. The two stood just mere feet away as Clive took in the sight of his dear brother in full. He was older, he was taller, he was…
He’s…hurt…
But that didn’t matter right then. What mattered was that the crater in Clive’s heart ached even greater now with the closeness, because Joshua was right there.
And Clive wanted—no, needed him to be here.
That connection between them—stringing together their hearts and souls—began to thrum as they took a few tentative steps towards each other.
Clive breathed heavily, doing his best to stave off the emotions which surged in his chest as he threw his arms around Joshua’s neck and back. However, tears began to prick the corners of his eyes as a hand settled into the center of his back, just barely pulling him forward. He buried his face into Joshua’s shoulder, squeezing him back.
It’s Joshua… Joshua’s…here…
He pulled back just slightly, resting his chin against Joshua’s collarbone. Although relief had seeped into his muscles, his words came out a bit shaky nonetheless, “My brother…” His eyes began to gravitate inwards, as he was unable to keep them off Joshua. It was as if he’d…disappear if Clive looked away for too long.
It was real. It had to be, because Joshua was in his arms, holding him back.
“I…” Joshua started.
Clive began to lean back in slowly, pressing his lips into the soft, warm skin at the base of Joshua’s neck. Centimeter by centimeter he began to move, slowly trailing soft kisses up the side of his dear brother’s neck.
It had to be real, because Joshua’s skin was solid beneath his lips, and he still smelled of cinnamon, orange peel, and pressed morganbeards—if not a bit like campfire.
“I’m sorry…” Joshua’s voice wavered. “I’m so sorry!”
Were it not that Joshua was here, those tears in Joshua’s voice would strike Clive’s heart as embers cast across bare skin. Instead, when that empty chasm in his chest began to ache ever deeper, all he wanted to do was to keep Joshua close, close, closer.
It’s okay. Those things…don’t matter now…
Clive’s left hand slowly curled around the side of Joshua’s face, his thumb gently settling at the center of his cheek. His eyes fluttered closed for but a moment—just a moment—as he pressed his lips gently into the left side of Joshua’s chin, trailing kisses up the side of his jaw. It was only when Clive reached his left cheek that his will, keeping his emotions in check, began to erode just a bit more. Peppering Joshua’s warm cheek with deeper, more languid kisses was all he could do in the face of the overwhelming joy pumping into his veins.
What… What matters is…
After planting one final kiss, finishing with Joshua’s right cheek, Clive pulled back just enough to behold his dear brother’s face. His right hand came to find its place at the left side of Joshua’s face, so that he might cup it between his hands.
After everything…
Joshua’s hair may have grown a bit longer, his face now that of a man, his eyes red with tears, and his lips crusted over red with dried blood, but he was still Joshua. Deep in his heart, no matter how Joshua had or could yet change, he’d recognize him no matter what.
“You’re alive,” Clive breathed. He was stroking Joshua’s cheek with his left thumb absently, picking up fresh tears with his gloved fingertip, as his eyes bore into Joshua’s. “We both are.”
Clive’s hold on Joshua’s head was gentle, yet sturdy, so there was nowhere to hide when Joshua bit down on his bottom lip, as if trying to hold something back. However, despite the attempt, his eyes glistened with tears as his hands flew to Clive’s chest, fingers barely tugging at the cloak fabric just under his shoulders.
Clive’s heart panged at that, as if echoing the motivation behind Joshua’s movements. Although his heart was greedily drinking in Joshua’s presence—all in hopes of satisfying that empty hole within—an attempt had remained just that. The further away Joshua was, the more empty he felt—one of the many reasons Clive was loath to let this moment end. However, very much like the beast which coveted a rose, the closer he was to the light and beauty of a soul such as Joshua’s, the more he needed to be closer.
Perhaps, Clive supposed, as his heart thirst for evermore, Joshua is similar…
Clive could not blame his brother for such need, especially not after they’d been so cruelly torn from each other again. If it were to make Joshua feel better, then…
“Nothing else matters,” Clive uttered between them, like a secret meant only to be pressed against their hearts, as he pressed his forehead against Joshua’s. Right then, as tears once again threatened to fall from his eyes, he squeezed them shut for a brief second.
It was during that briefest of moments that he could nearly hear it—Joshua’s heart—beating in time with his own.
And then, against the urging of his incomplete heart, he pulled back. Still, he could not take his eyes off Joshua for long. His left hand lingered at the side of his dear brother’s face, thumb still stroking his cheek absently, as his right settled atop his shoulder.
Those ever beautiful eyes of Joshua’s, blue as the sky, and clear as the eye of a storm, no longer seemed to beget tears. As his eyes met Clive’s, so too did his expression relax. Even his bottom lip, which was no longer held between his teeth, only trembled ever so slightly.
Oh, Joshua…
The corners of Clive’s lips were ever so slightly upturned as he confessed, “I never dared hope that I would see this day…”
A beat passed, and Joshua’s fingers clenched around the fabric of Clive’s cloak, pulling at his shoulders.
Standing here, being able to bask in the warmth and light of Joshua’s presence this way, was something he’d never believed he’d experience again. So, it was that his heart itself began to rise on borrowed wings as it soaked up every ounce of joy his veins could supply.
But, suddenly, it all froze. Clive’s heart halted in midair, its ascent interrupted as something hot pressed against his lips. His eyes widened with the realization of just what it was, but…
Clive had hardly begun to think before cinnamon, orange peel, morganbeards began to seep into his nostrils, and his hand fell from Joshua’s cheek. Those lips—Joshua’s lips—flared against his own, sending the elevated heat straight to his partially fried brain.
Perhaps, looking back, it was only his heart that remained functional by the time Joshua began to pull away.
His withdrawal was eventually halted due to Clive’s hold on his shoulders. So, Joshua averted his eyes, as if needing to avoid the sight and scent of something he’d accidentally burned.
Joshua was…afraid, but…why?
Yet, what Clive’s mind couldn’t comprehend, his heart pulsed and ached in the face of.
Did it even matter?
Heedless of the regret and fear pervading Joshua’s expression, Clive pulled at the connection between their hearts, following the ever increasing cravings of his heart so as to be closer—so much closer. If they could not be Ifrit Risen here and now—if they could not be one—then the least they could do was to share that heat between them once more, founder willing.
Or, put simply, Clive’s lips were losing heat by the moment, his arms were empty, and his heart just…needed. Joshua had to feel it too.
Clive lifted his left hand to cup Joshua’s cheek once more, gazing into those twin skies, clouded over with smoke and fear. Perhaps that expression of Joshua’s remained, but his fingers still held onto Clive’s cloak, just barely tugging at it.
For now, at least.
Joshua’s voice was barely audible, if not a bit strained, as he opened his mouth once more, “C-Clive, I–”
But Joshua’s unnecessary apology was quickly swallowed as Clive’s lips captured his this time, and his right hand slipped down to Joshua’s left shoulderblade, pulling him closer.
“Joshua…” Clive breathed against his dear brother’s lips, having pulled back for a mere moment, before seeking that heat again and again.
Joshua… Joshua…
“Joshua…” Clive continued, breathing the name between kisses like a mantra, as that misshapen hole in his heart begged for more, more, more.
Then it was that Joshua’s lips finally burned against his, pressing back with enough force to muffle the groan that would escape Clive’s lips. Clive’s heart soared, and even the wings carrying it were ablaze.
“Clive,” Joshua muttered between kisses, with one hand yet holding onto that fabric, and the other now pressing against Clive’s waist.
Joshua…
“Joshua… My…” For Clive, whose eyes had long fallen shut, his world was a small thing of existence. Within it existed nothing but Joshua’s body, both pulled and pressed against his, Joshua’s scent, which strongly enveloped them, and their hearts, whose duet thrummed in his ears, drowning out all except the sounds from Joshua’s lips.
“Joshua…” Though he could not see it, he could sense their souls there—twin flames which lit up his world as they shared their fire.
“Clive…” Joshua groaned against Clive’s lips, causing something of a whine to slip from them.
Though Clive would know not when it occurred, suddenly, they were embracing once more. Clive buried his face in Joshua’s shoulder, inhaling and exhaling deeply, as Joshua’s breaths began to slow.
Perhaps his lips no longer blazed hot without Joshua’s against them, but even the incomplete pieces of his heart were content to be there, as close to Joshua as he could manage. With the adrenaline finally wearing off, all Clive could do was hold him, breathe, and allow the relief to seep and settle into his bones.
“Clive…” Joshua began, whispering in his ear, and Clive’s heart squeezed.
Oh, Joshua…
“I… I’ve missed you Joshua.”
Joshua’s voice came out strained at that, as if he was trying not to cry again. “...I know.”
“For so…so long…” Fuck. Now he was trying not to cry again. “I’ve missed you, Joshua. More than I… More than I can–”
“I know, Clive. I know.” For a moment, Joshua’s voice was small, almost like it was eighteen years ago, “Me too…”
A relieved sound, something like a laugh, fell from Clive’s lips as a smile stretched from ear to ear, probably the largest in years. If he could help it, they would never leave this world. Instead, they would stay like this, just holding each other, having each other, never letting go.
But, then, a sound broke through the boundary of Clive’s world—a bark. Then came another, and a couple in succession, before Clive finally opened his eyes.
Torgal, he’d realized, only pulling just far enough away from Joshua to glimpse his dog, whose tail was wagging excitedly.
His heart ached once more as reality began to seep into his world through the cracks, but it was…better than before, knowing that Joshua was with him.
His heart was warmer now, knowing that he could be here with Joshua, whatever came next.