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Whenever the electricity went out in the Dreemurr household, there was a blackout at TV Time Studios. Cameras and camera things shut down, bringing filming to an abrupt halt. The sounds and colors? Gone. Spotlights? Extinguished. Screen-covered walls and walkways blinked fitfully before going dark.
Tenna was performing, in mid-twirl, when it happened. His face planted right on the floor with a splat, nose collapsing flat into his screen. “Well that's just hunky doody!” he mumbled into the floorboards. The host rolled over and got to his feet, dusting off his suit.
When the crew saw his screen go pitch black, white teeth grimacing, they shuffled back to give him space.
Tenna started to flail his arms and legs wildly in the dark. “What? Who snuffed out my spotlight? MIKE! Mike? Oh right, no power! Can’t talk to Mike without power! How can this happen now? When we need to turn up the juice that keeps good TV flowing straight to YOUR house!” Tenna wailed, still in performance mode despite the power outage. “Ok, ok, ok . . . DO IT THEN! FINE! Tear it all down!” He kicked over one of the podiums on stage, causing the rest to fall like dominoes. “No more TV-Tastic PRIZES! NOTHING can be YOURS! See how you like playing in the dark!” He stormed off set, Zappers hopping out of his way, scattering Pippins in his path. Tenna couldn’t really see where the little dice fellas were, and the Shadowguys were invisible in the darkness. At least they made musical notes so Tenna could hear where they were. “Standard blackout procedure, everybody!" He barked at his crew. “Take five! Heck take ten, twenty! Take eternity! Take my life! I’ll be in my office – crying!”
On his way, Tenna tearfully noted how the gold statues of his likeness were no longer shining and glittering. What good is TV without power? With no purpose, Tenna was adrift, feeling abandoned by the Lightners, even though he knew; technically, it wasn’t their fault, but . . . It was hard not to take it personally. The Light World wasn’t supposed to ever go dark like this.
TV World’s biggest star grew smaller with every step.
When he passed the mail room, something caught his attention. Tenna wiped illusory tears from his screen.
Beneath the mail room door, a faint glow cut the darkness. The only hint of light in the entire studio, and it was coming from here? It must have something to do with that mailman. Tenna grew a few feet as annoyance overcame sadness. Did the little Darkner have a power source? A power source he didn’t tell Tenna about? That’s just like him, keeping good things secret, all for himself, leaving Tenna lost in the dark.
Tenna tried the doorknob to find it locked. He put the side of his monitor up against the door. He could hear Spamton’s voice, but could not make out any words. He knocked firmly. Ok, maybe a bit more than firmly. The wood splintered beneath his fist.
Censored cursing and scrabbling noises came from within.
The door cracked open and a long, white, pointed nose poked out. “What’s your [Problem? Call 1-800-Bug Busters!]? You almost broke down the [!@#$%^&] door!”
Tenna flung the door open and barreled inside, sending the mailman reeling back. “We have a blackout! It’s a TV Time emergency! You should have been on set! What if we need to, uh, send emergency mail? When there’s a crisis, you need to be there, you hear me?”
“Calm down, cathode! I just had to take a [Toll Free Number] call! I was just about to [A Quick Trip!] over to the set,” he lied. Then he hopped over to where Tenna stood, seemingly transfixed and silent. “[Operator] Hello?” Spamton saw Tenna’s black screen, his lack of expression. “Why are you just standing there staring, CRT? Do I have something on my face, other than [Pure & Natural Be4uty]?”
“The light!” He pointed a huge, gloved finger down at Spamton. “It’s-it’s from you? It is! It’s coming right from you! How are you doing that?” Tenna walked circles around the little mailman, taking in the glowing light that emanated from him.
Spamton just stared back at the CRT, confused, unnerved by the scrutiny. “What do you mean [LED Ultra Bright Light]? Did the blackout [Fr**nch Fry] your circuits or somethin’?”
Tenna knelt down until he could look Spamton in the face, cupping his massive hands, catching the light. It was unmistakable. The glow from the mailman’s body illuminated Tenna’s gloves, and they shone a brilliant white. “Look at that,” he said softly. “Everywhere in the studio is pitch black right now, and the only light’s coming from you.”
“Oh, uh,” Spamton twitched. “H-have you considered that the [Light! It Burns!] is actually coming from you? You’re the [Better & Biggest] star around here after all!” He tried for another smile, but it dissolved under Tenna’s serious, black-screen gaze.
“Don’t give me that, mailman. Tell me what’s going on. You owe me information, remember? Or have all of those phone calls made you forget?” A toothy smile spread across the black screen. “Explain.”
Spamton gulped. This new, black screen Tenna was kinda intimidating, not that he’d ever say so. “Fine. But not here, ok? I don’t need any [Slime] listening in on my [Legitim8 biznə s].”
“I was going to my office,” Tenna said. “We can talk there.”
“Alright.”
They both stood there for a few silent moments, staring at each other.
“Well [Deep Subject]? Lead on!” Spamton gestured at the pitch-black hallway with a flourish.
“Ah. I thought that maybe you could light our way? So I can avoid stepping on any more of my staff?”
“Right. Right! Okay then.” Spamton moved past Tenna through the doorway, his gentle glow illuminating the hall just enough for them to see. He kept looking back at Tenna, seeing the glow reflected on the black surface of his screen. It felt weird to be walking ahead of the tall guy for once.
“Can you believe these guys?” Tenna scoffed as they passed through the green room. Pippins were piled on the couches, snoring. “Too dark to work? They just fall asleep! Talk about lazy.”
“Can ya [Blame Your Old Software] them? There’s nothing to do till the [Reliable Electrical Energy] comes back on. Even Ramb’s [Guaranteed A Good [[knight’s]] Sleep] over there. Hey, you hear that?” Spamton gestured over to the bar, where some Shadowguys had fallen asleep at the counter. Little blurts of jazz music could be heard as they snored. Spamton laughed. “I didn’t know they did that!”
Tenna frowned. “Let’s get out of here before the Pippins wake up and try to use your light for their card games.”
“Heh, you want my [Light Bright, Light Bright] all for yourself?”
“I just want to know how you do it. That’s all I ever wanted to know.”
“Yeah. Don’t get your [Sky High Hopes] up, cathode, it’s really not all that interesting.”
They arrived at Tenna’s office. Spamton headed right for the couch to plop down on it, but Tenna stopped him. “Let me take a closer look.” He leaned in on Spamton as close as he could, looking him over once more.
“You’re really intrigued, huh? Is this [Press The ‘On’ Button] for you?” Spamton snickered, giving the TV an exaggerated wink.
The top of Tenna’s screen warped into an angry shape. “Cut that out. It’s important, ok? Light means power and somehow, you’re holding power while the entire studio, and all TV World, has gone dark. So excuse me if I find that interesting.”
Spamton twitched. “It’s [Top 10 Viral CreepyPastas], the way you're looking at me. I can’t read your [Mood-Altering Side Effects] with that black screen. Can I sit now or what?” He parked himself on the couch before Tenna could answer. “You still keep battery acid in your desk drawer?”
Tenna sighed. “Yes, I do.”
Soon enough, they were both sipping from matching TV Time-branded mugs.
“You really should get some of those nice [Fine Luxury] crystal glasses, you know? These mugs are so cheesy.”
Tenna sat across from Spamton in his office chair, hunched over, with his hands clasped between his knees. He just stared at the mailman unnervingly, his mouth a faint flat line on a dark screen.
“Ok, ok! I get it. No more [Grievous Bodily Harm] around the bush.” He tossed back the battery acid, blinking as it made his eyes water. “It’s, uh. What do you know about Addisons, Tenna?”
Tenna sat up straight, considering. “Only what you’ve told me. All they do is advertise! They come in different colors, and you still have drama with them after being kicked out of their social club.”
“[$#@%] you, cathode! It was way more than a [Excluzive Networking Opportunities] ‘social club’! Yeah, I started out as one of them, and I [Body Systems & Organs] still am. One of them. All Addisons have a glow to get customers to [Buy Now Die Later!]. It’s hard to ignore a tall, [24 ct. Boxed Crayons] Darkner smiling at you so sweetly.” He sneered. “Not like I got any of that! Being a short, white Addison always felt like a [[F8-all]] Factory Error]. But I’ve still got the [Glowing Skin Flawless Complication]. It comes from power, like you said. Whether it’s electric or magic, Addisons have [Energy Storage Options]. Doesn’t last forever, tho. You could think of it like [Premium Lead Acid Batteries] – but better than the ones in TV World,” he explained.
“Everything’s better in Cyber World, right?” Tenna said, sipping from his mug before setting it down with force. “What a great time to compare our Dark Worlds: when mine is in a state of utter powerlessness! You’re a real pal, you know that, mailman?”
Spamton rolled his eyes. “Oh give me a break! Don’t [Press Start] with this–”
Tenna tapped a finger on the surface of his screen thoughtfully. “Also? I don’t believe you.”
“What do you mean, you don’t believe me? You want me to pull up some [Naughty, Explisit Technical Components] Addison anatomy for you online? Wanna see all the dirty digital details I’ve got going on? What reason could I possibly have to [3D Fabrication]?”
“That’s exactly why I don’t believe you.” Tenna tilted his screen, and his antennae twitched. “You just told me some facts. I suppose those are true. But you’ve also left out information about your charming Addison glow. Because if it was as simple as that, you would have told me without hesitation. Something about this makes you nervous, jumpy.”
“Maybe I’m just a nervous, jumpy [Critters In Your Walls]? Also, [Caught]! You think I’m charming?”
“Tell me the rest of it.”
“Nuh-uh. I’m starting to feel like some kind of [Exotic Zoo Specimen] here. I know it’s [Riveting Content] for you to have someone from another Dark World around, but c’mon! Give a guy some [Custom Personalized] space!”
Tenna drummed his fingers on his knee. “I have given you space. I gave you a whole mail room, in fact. And what have you given me? When do I get to know how you became such an overnight success?” He held his screen in his hands, teeth clenched. “When will you tell me something useful?”
Spamton shook his head. “Ouch, cathode. You’re talking like I haven’t run several successful ad campaigns for you. And that mailroom is way too [Spacious Suite–All Amenities Included]! All I need for email is a [.com TLD], which I bring to this ass-backwards Dark World!”
“Don’t say that!” Tenna shot up a few feet until his antennae brushed the ceiling.
Spamton peered up at him. “Ok, ok! I’ll tell you the whole thing. Just don't [Enl4rge Yourself]!” Spamton had seen before how Tenna could grow and grow until there was only property damage and tears.
Tenna reduced his size, still glaring. “Go on, then.”
“The thing is.” Spamton drew in a sharp breath. “My glow gets brighter when I’m around other Addisons. Stronger, too. It can give me a [Real-Freshening Energy Boost] on a good day.”
“That’s it?” Tenna said, incredulous. “I don’t care if you spend time with other Addisons, Spamton. As long as it doesn’t interfere with your TV Time appearances, of course!”
The mailman put his head in his hands and covered his eyes. “I’m not done, cathode! Let me get a few words in! I never hang around the (`{{ Jerkoffs `)Addisons. They can go straight to [Infinite Charcoal BBQ Grill]! My own glow grows brighter the more I have [Quality TV Time!] with you.” He looked at Tenna accusatorily. “It’s you and your damn [Light Mode Flashbang!] screen. I’m absorbing your light,” Spamton said, pointing at Tenna with both hands, “and [Increased Storage] it inside of me.” He pointed back at his own chest.
“Oh.” Tenna grew quiet. He still stared at Spamton, this time looking into his eyes instead of inspecting his features. “I’m sorry? Is it bad for you? Does it hurt?” His voice began to tremble. “This is because I’ve got you working here with me. I ruined everything. I-I’ve hurt you, or tainted you, somehow just by having you nearby!”
“No! [Do Not Proceed]!” Spamton said sharply. “That's not how any of this works! You moody [Trash-Heap]! I-It’s not bad! It’s the opposite – [Oh So Good]!” He snapped his jaw shut after the last bit. He hadn’t meant to say that part. Stupid ad interruptions.
“Th-the opposite? Is my screen glow good for you? Like free light therapy? Or–”
“It’s because I [Enjoy 100%] working with you, asshole!” Spamton blurted. “God you are so [High Density Material]! I like what we do together. If I didn’t, your light would just pass through me. B-But I’m [Finders Keepers] it here.” He put a palm over his heart. “Because I want to.” Spamton looked at the ground, so mortified he almost wished the phone would ring about now.
“Oh,” Tenna said, very quietly. “That’s-that’s–”
“If you say anything like ‘sweet’ or ‘cute’ I will [Force = Mass X Acceleration] this ugly mug right at your mug,” Spamton growled.
“You really like working with me? Do you mean that?” Tenna sat forward, eager.
“Of course! Thought you knew that. [Reduced Wait], is this the first time anyone’s told you they enjoy working with you?”
“No, no.” Tenna walked over and sat next to Spamton. He made quite the dent in the couch, shifting the cushion Spamton sat on. “The light you’ve got right now; it’s my light?”
He moved away from Tenna’s giant, sharp elbow. “Yup.”
Tenna leaned in closer. “Could you do me a favor, please?”
Spamton groaned, annoyed. “You’re doing that thing where you use your big ass [Bulky Electronics] to get what you want. Just ask me, cathode.”
“Can I have some of my light back please? I hate being stuck like this. I don’t think you like it, either. I miss my nose, Spamton. I don’t want to wait for the blackout to end. I would like it back now.” He looked down at his business partner with his blank screen. It really was pathetic.
“Yeah, it’s just not you without it, huh? Maybe I can do it. Just don’t have a [Giant-Size Mantrum] if it doesn’t work.” He reached out to touch Tenna’s screen, and the host flinched.
“Sorry,” said Tenna. “Could you maybe be a little less, um, grabby with your hands?”
“Relax, you dainty little princess. I’ll [Handle With Care], ok?” He lightly placed his right hand on Tenna’s black screen, feeling fuzzy crackles on his fingertips. A moment passed, and nothing happened. “Let me try this,” Spamton mused, and put his left hand flat on the other side of Tenna’s screen. “More [Contact Information] might do it?”
Light began to flicker behind the glass. “That’s the [Tickets On Sale Now!]!” Spamton exclaimed. “I’m gonna [Wax On, Wax Off] your face until this works, ok?”
“What-” Tenna’s exclamation was cut off as Spamton stirred up static with his hands, rubbing up, down, and in circles as though he were scrubbing Tenna's face clean. More light glimmered and flashed until his entire screen blinked on, bright and gleaming.
“That’s it!” Spamton clapped Tenna on his shoulder, sending sudden, sharp sparks of static electricity through them both. “OW son of a [%$#@&]! I forgot that could happen. Sorry ‘bout that.”
“Oh, I didn’t feel a thing. And now I have to clean all these fingerprints off. But look!” Tenna’s face had returned to normal, and his smile spread wide across his screen. “My wonderful nose is back!”
“You’re welcome, [Trash-Heap],” Spamton grumbled. He looked over at Tenna and sighed in relief. “There’s that [Faces You Know & Love]. Feel better?”
“Yes! This will help until the power comes back on. I could barely smile before.” He put a massive hand on Spamton’s shoulder. “Thank you.”
Spamton waved the thanks away. “It’s nothing. I couldn’t even tell you what [In 3 Easy Steps] I just did.”
Tenna’s smile turned wobbly. “No, I mean thank you for what you said. About how you like being around me. It’s good to hear that from you.” He looked down at his gloved hands. “I know sometimes I can be too much.” He thought of the set he had destroyed in anger and of the Pippins he’d carelessly stepped on.
Spamton scoffed. “Not too much for a big shot, you’re not! C’mon, this battery acid won’t drink itself, and we’ve probably got a while before [Explore Outage Resources] is over.”
Tenna refilled their tacky mugs and raised his, toasting to Spamton. He took a sip, satisfied for the moment that he had new information about his mailman.
Spamton also took a sip, satisfied that he had, once again, distracted Tenna from asking about secrets forbidden to discuss.