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That first night after Matthew Clarke's arrest, Adam had paperwork to distract him. They'd finally caught the bastard that had been stalking Morgan, that had kidnapped Oz, and he wasn't about to risk him getting out just because of a mistake on the paperwork.
The next night, though, there was nothing to save him. Morgan hadn't even been there that day, nothing going on that had been worth calling her in for, and yet his brain kept circling around her like she was standing in the bullpen with him. Kept trying to put her in the bullpen with him, like it no longer felt right without her.
He'd failed her. They'd all failed her. A truly evil man had been stalking her, was playing mind games with her, and they'd spent most of the time too slow to find her the evidence she'd needed. Told her she was stressed instead of believing her and chasing that much harder for the truth.
Which had left her feeling like her only choice was facing the potential serial killer alone. Anything could have happened, and he wouldn't have even known until it was too late.
There was only darkness at the end of that thought, deep enough that even the thought of it left his chest cold.
Maybe if he called her, made up some bullshit reason just so he could hear her voice. Only that wouldn't be enough, because if she decided to only pretend she was all right she could keep it out of her voice. He needed to see her face to be sure. To have any chance of being able to sleep tonight.
But there was no way he could just show up at her house. She'd make fun of him and he'd deserve it, and even that would be better than her taking one look at him and realizing the real reason he was over there. There was more than one way to lose someone, and though that would be a hell of a better option it would leave his days just as empty.
Pizza, maybe. No one could argue with pizza, especially with hungry kids. She'd still tease him a little, but then the kids would swarm and distract her from anything else. It was the safest option, at least if he wanted to sleep that night.
Decision made, he pulled out his phone and made the call.
#
He nearly stopped himself four separate times before he ended up at Morgan's door with the pizza, but after he'd given them his credit card number there was really no point. There wasn't enough people left at the station to eat it, at least not people he particularly wanted to feed, and there was no way in hell he'd manage to get through three pizzas on his own.
But then he was standing on her front porch in the dark, listening to the happy chaos just beyond the door. For just a second, he wanted to be inside that chaos so much that he nearly dropped the pizzas, turned around and left.
But then the door opened, Morgan standing in the square of light, and the chance to run was over. "Karadec!" The flare of welcome in her eyes was the same as it always was, and something eased in Adam's chest at the sight of it. "Do we have a case?" She frowned. "Hopefully a less dangerous, creepy one then our last little adventure."
"No case." He handed her the pizzas, letting himself soak in the sight of her. She was okay. For now, everything was okay. "Just wanted to bring over dinner."
Her eyebrows lifted at that, but before she could say anything her oldest daughter ducked around the corner. "Sweet!" Ava took the pizzas from her mother, giving Adam an approving grin. "I knew you were awesome." Then she headed back into the house with a shout. "Mom's partner brought pizzas!"
Morgan smiled a little at the cheers coming from inside, still watching him with those too-perceptive eyes. She stepped out onto the porch with him, closing the door behind her. "So, are these 'I'm sorry we thought you were crazy?' pizzas?"
Adam's jaw tightened. "We left you alone." He'd left her alone.
Her expression immediately shifted into a fond version of her "you're being slow" look. "Uh uh. Lieutenant Soto told me what you said to her, that you trusted me. And who showed me that he trusted me to handle my end of things while he stopped our overly emotional ex-husband from doing Clarke's murder for him?" He opened his mouth, catching himself, but she pointed at him with an approving look. "That's right, you." Her voice softened. "I may have wanted to whap you on the head more than once through all this, but you never once left me alone."
Adam's chest squeezed tight, throat crowding with a dozen different things he was never, ever going to say. He let out a breath. "Thanks."
"Thank you right back." She smiled, and Adam very carefully didn't think anything about how beautiful it was. "We'd probably better head inside if we want any that pizza, though. I love those kids, and I'm fond of Ludo, but they all have the appetite of locusts."
The urge to say yes was a pull in his gut, the sheer strength of it enough to make him step back. "I should go."
Quicker than he'd expected – he should know by now that she would always surprise him – she reached out and caught his wrist. "You have plans?" she asked lightly, gaze penetrating.
He was tempted to lie, but he had a feeling she'd catch him at it. He didn't want that between them. "I don't want to intrude."
She gave him that fond "you're being slow" look again. "You're not intruding, you dope. You're eating your share of the spoils." Then she hesitated, looking uncertain for the first time that night. Her grip faltered. "Unless you're not ready to deal with all the chaos you'd be facing."
It was the perfect out. Except it wasn't, not really, because it was the exact opposite of the real reason he'd tried to run away. He wouldn't know what to do with that kind of warmth and light, would only end up disappointing her when he couldn't bring any of it himself, but that didn't mean he didn't want it. Wanting it too much was the whole problem.
So, no matter how dangerous it was, he raised an eyebrow. "After all this time with you, Morgan, the last thing I'm scared of is chaos."
Her smile came back, grip on his wrist tightening, and he had a much harder time not thinking the word "beautiful." "Then you'd better come in, or otherwise I'm not going to believe you." She turned back around, still holding onto him, and opened the door. "You guys better have left us some pizza!" she called out.
"I'm holding them off with a kitchen chair," Ludo called back, "but you two had better hurry!"
She turned back to him with a grin. "Hope you know how to fight for your food."
Helpless to do anything else, he let himself be pulled inside.