Chapter Text
Suitcase sat ambivalently on her respective stump. She thought of the previous question Knife asked her.
What is an alliance to you?
The question burned in her mind as she thought about it.
She was convinced it was not the kind of alliance that Nickel had with her. That should have been obvious now that she reminisced on all their interactions. How he pressured her to steal that battery for Mephone 4 back when he was sick, how he made all those sarcastic comments towards her, him yelling at her in the maze and blaming Balloon for setting off those traps. And especially the threat he presented to her after her attempts to advocate for herself.
"As long as I’m here you’re not fooling anyone again”.
So… that didn’t feel right.
It could've been the one Baseball had with her. He was a lot kinder to her and even checked up on her. One instance she remembers is when after Nickel peer pressured her into stealing a battery he talked to her to make sure she was alright. Explaining "It's just he expects a lot out of us. He believes in us.” But now looking back on it was visibly just Baseball defending Nickel. She could understand why he defended him. They have been best friends since the start of the show. But by her definition didn’t a best friend mean you recognize their faults and try to guide them to realize and learn from their mistakes?
And what about her? Forget about defending, she was understanding. She understood everything. She understood how even if she felt left out for some of Baseball and Nickels conversations it wasn't their fault. They knew each other longer than she did. Or how Nickel’s distaste for Balloons attempts at being friendly considering the actions he took last season. So she did not understand why this alliance hadn't worked. Was her understanding seen as pathetic? Or did she not understand everything like she thought?
She decided to not dwell on it. And reminisced the alliance she held with Balloon. If that could be considered an alliance. She recalled her penultimate interaction with him. He tried to defend her in the elimination ceremony by making it look like it was him who voted for Nickel and throwing himself under the bus. But could she call it an alliance when they barely even talked and discussed less about strategies and spent hours discussing their own personal ideals? No, it couldn’t have been she hadn't even mentioned her own likes and dislikes to Baseball and Nickel. So the problem lies what exactly was her relationship with Balloon? If it is not professional like Nickel and Baseball. Or an Acquaintance like everyone else on the show. It had to be a friend.
Suddenly the “answer” clicked in her mind like her mind was missing a puzzle piece that she had found buried under sands of confusion.
There was no answer.
An alliance meant nothing to her. What she desperately wanted wasn't an alliance. It was a friend. Someone to talk to and give opinions about and receive and provide emotional connection. She was supposed to feel ecstatic about this revelation but she couldn't. She had received this revelation too late. And couldn’t discuss it with her friend because he was gone.