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It was frigidly cold outside. The wind was harsh and bitter towards the town today. Icy breaths come out of people's lips when sighing. It was so cold that you could feel the tingling sensation of the wind touch your skin. It was a tranquil evening, and that's how most people treasured the start of winter.
Winter is a lonely season, some say, but for others, it's the time people seek warmth and love. Many people stay at home, waiting for this day to come. They cuddle in warmth with their freshly prepared hot cocoa, sharing their beloved stories. After gathering firewood, they'd light up a beautiful fire, enjoying the heat it gives to offer. Smiles, warmth, and new people.
It truly was the spirit of winter coming to life.
With darkened skies and soft particles of snow, a new discovery of two awaits. With bitter coffee in hand and an unopened umbrella in the other, she sits on the wooden structure. With hidden identities and forgotten promises, today was the day they are destined to meet. And with tears and joy, they shall realize it no longer was a dream but reality.
One man veiled with a mask where his life is joyful with his friends. Although he lives in this state, if you look much closer into his eyes and heart, you'll see a different man. You'll see a man filled with crushed hopes and dreams. You'll see a man bathed in sorrow, pain, and fear. This man is like no other person out there, who has witnessed death at his loved ones' doors. He is like one of us, cowards, who refuse to be strong against our own self's demons.
One woman who hid from others because she was one born with a curse. A curse with rain to fall upon her life. Every day and every night, she hopes that one day; she will no longer look up with dark skies falling with the melancholiest of all rain. It reminds her so much of those days up to now, that all her time she's lived on the Earth, she's been rejected by the society. With words getting to her head, she has accepted her fate, although she won't let go of her hopes and dreams.
Two people dying in the past, hoping to live. Their hands connected with rusted iron hand cuffs to the past. Their hearts' desires being held back by chains wrapped around their very own life; these chains are memories. Dark and painful memories, changing their desires. Changing them.
As a result, they've ended up as mere mortals with a desire for love, but one fears it the most. Every day, they look up to the sky, with wishes said out loud. But this winter, they don't have to bear their pain by their battered bodies that have gone into battle for many times. With one look, memories from their past shall live onto a new lifetime of memories.
The dreams and nightmares are reminders that they should treasure a promise made and their loved comrades.
The air was taking in the strong aroma of freshly ground coffee emanating from a nearby café. A blunette had just exited the said building with a cup of newly poured coffee in her hand. She had long strands of blue hair and it was let open. She wore a beanie, also in the color of blue; it seemed like she like the color of the seas.
She held the cup of coffee in one hand and an umbrella in the other. She had a very neutral face, her lips was formed tightly in a thin line. The blue haired girl wore nothing but her school clothes; she felt quite cold and even though she knew of the weather, she wore no warm clothing. She had left her navy blue jacket at home on her bed.
Her footsteps could be heard throughout the empty street. The wind was blowing very lightly and a simple breeze brushed by hair. Street lights lit up the very solemn evening. Voices from nearby shops could be heard loud yet very distorted at the same time. It was a typical start for the beginning of winter itself.
Knowing that no rain will fall upon her head today, her heart felt a tad bit way too excited. At the same time, she knew that snow shall fall upon their dainty little heads. Snow was just another form of rain. They may be white, but they remind one's mind of rain drops.
"Juvia-chan!"
She turned her head around and saw a man with spiked white hair running towards her direction. She stopped in her steps, waiting for this man. He looked very familiar. He had broad shoulders and a very distinct voice.
Panting, he said, "Juvia-chan." "Haah… hah… Juvia, ah, you forgot your scarf," her eyes widened, looking at him. His hands were held out with a neatly folded gray scarf. She knew of this certain scarf. Juvia had just knitted it this very morning. It hadn't turned out great, but it reminded her of the warmth she always felt in her dreams.
She grabbed it slowly, feeling the wool she used to knit it. She could remember it crystal clear. The way he rejected it, and how this girl with the same name as her, had cried. It had also snowed heavily that night. Juvia woke up with tears in her eyes this morning and it was to no surprise. The girl she's been having dreams of, loved this man and she tried anything to pursue his love for her.
Juvia could remember the faint details of the dream. She smiled faintly.
It was the day for their 413 th anniversary of their first meeting. To think that this version of her actually remembered the date was kind of cool. A friend with bright scarlet red hair called Erza suggested that she give the unknown man a gift. The woman had tried everything. She had asked her guild mates and came to a conclusion. She'd make him a homemade scarf. Despite the cold weather of the night, she went on looking for him. She gave it to him, yet he had ignored her. She had tears in her eyes. He left her and she went her own way back to her house. It had started snowing and she touched the snow. When she was back home, Erza had told her that he had worn her scarf. She was overjoyed and the dream had ended with Juvia hugging Erza quite tightly.
She smiled at the man and she realized that she knew him. He was the waiter who would always serve her at the café no matter what situation. They had small talks before, but she never really considered anything else of his true feelings. Considering the fact that Lyon liked her and she knew very well.
"Thank you, Lyon-san. Juvia has to go now," she gave him a much warmer smile.
Lyon scratched his head and smiled goofily, "It was nothing. I'd do anything for you Juvia."
Juvia wrapped the scarf around her neck, feeling much warmer than before. She couldn't believe she had left something this important. She felt so foolish and stupid. Juvia continued on walking, leaving Lyon standing there under the lights of the cobble street.
Gray just finished his shift as a barista. He had just finished serving his lot and saw his co-worker Lyon run out the café as if he was in a real hurry. He had always despised Lyon, but he still felt the same familial love for him decades ago with a little amount of boiling hate every now and then.
They were students of the same master and she had died a decade ago. Ur. She was like a mother figure for Gray, since his parents had died in the hands of a literal demon. This guy ordered his henchmen to murder his parents, but Gray never found out the reason. His hometown was reduced to nothing but bits and pieces of stone and useless rubble. Ur had taken him since he was off wandering around by the mountains. He trained martial arts and self-defense with Lyon since then. And a result of this, was his minor stripping problem, which isn't that amusing, even if Natsu says so.
Gray loved her as he loved his own mother. He tolerated Lyon's arrogance towards him, but he soon grew to actually like him. Lyon was like the brother he never had, but everything had changed ever since then. Lyon was still stubborn and arrogant, but these past few years, Lyon has been nothing but blaming him. Gray usually brushed this off, but it deeply hurt in his chest. After all, it was a constant reminder that he was the cause of Ur's death.
Gray wanted to avenge his parent's death as soon as he had seen Deliora, the gangster lord. He had been built up with so much rage and stubbornness, that he was so close to killing him, but he didn't. His conscience got the best of his desire to avenge his dead parents. Gray's tiny hand holding a silver knife, ironically since that was his dad's name, hung a few centimeters over the man's heart. He moved his hand, retreating and he fell onto his knees. Ur came along with Lyon and she stood there in front of Deliora. It happened so quickly. Lyon had fainted and Ur was killed.
She had died right in front of his eyes… and it was all his fault. He has never forgiven himself for this. He considers Lyon's words of blame as a constant reminder that he was an indirect cold blooded killer… and it's gets to his head. All. The. Damn. Time.
Gray was just a 'nobody' and he considered this as a fact. Every day in work, he'd get reminded of why he shouldn't be alive. Lyon reminds him of that, and it hurts knowing that you can't say anything even though you feel the strong urge to cry. All he feels is numbness and no one in the world understands it. Lyon may be a little shit to him, but he feels differently for him. He's like family… the only thing left that's alive connected to his past.
Today was the worst day to go to work. Gray had homework and projects to do, and yet he still went to work. He needed the money though. He needed it to pay his rent and it was due soon, and he hadn't even earned enough yet. Going on several part-time jobs, it was terribly exhausting for him. Emotionally and physically. With a thousand thoughts going through his head, as well as tasks, it could get a little tiring.
Gray trudged by the cobble street huffing, as he put on his thin, lightweight jacket. Feeling so weary with heavy eyes forcing him to sleep, he decided to take the bus, despite having to pay for the goddamn ticket. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A light breeze passed by him, giving him slight chills down his back. Shivering a little bit, he walked faster over to the bus stop.
She sat on the wooden bench, sipping her coffee in peace. She listened to her surroundings. Juvia wasn't surprised when people gave her dirty looks when they passed by her. The whole town of Magnolia knew that she was the teenager who had the curse of the rain. Juvia's chest felt numb and she wanted to badly cry, but instead she fought the urge. She wished to be back home, where she could lay asleep on her bed, with those dreams of hers.
Juvia had dreams of a "wizard guild" under the name of Fairy Tail. It was where a water mage who had Juvia Lockser as a name, had felt at home. Ironically, she knew people from Earth with the same names and looks. They also had magic within at hand. She had beautiful dreams of missions with a man. He had raven black hair with dark blue eyes, who had the power to mold ice to his own will. In her dreams, her version of Juvia was deemed to be in love with him. Suffice to say, she wasn't this happy on Earth as she was in her dreams.
This girl may have the best of her dreams, but the other named Gray gets the worst of nightmares. No matter if they're dreams or nightmares, these were memories they once retained. It's sad to know that one's nightmare doesn't end. Gray's dark dreams don't end. They become a reality. Words haunt his life, and so do the nightmares.
His nightmares are deaths of a previous lifetime, yet he doesn't know that. Gray thinks they're just his crazy imagination. But he does often question himself why… why he gets these dreams of a certain "wizard guild". It has the same names and people of those who live on Earth. Gray doesn't understand why, but he found a reason of why he should let these nightmares go on.
A certain woman with blue hair had caught his attention. She was a water mage and it was funny to think that this woman in his dreams was in love with him. She chased him, went with missions with him, and expressed her love to him from the craziest to the simplest ways. She lit up his nightmares even for the slightest bit, and that's what made him bear the angst felt through the mere nightmares.
Gray knew he would never be the same Gray from his nightmares nor will he meet a girl like her in this world.
~Maybe it just wasn't time yet. But the day has come- you can meet the light of your darkness, and so will the other one.~
Gray had arrived at the bus stop. He saw a woman with shoulder length blue hair sitting down on the wooden bench. The blue haired girl was wearing school clothes from the same school he goes to, Fairy Academy. She must've been in the same classes he has been. But, he hasn't seen her anywhere around school.
He could get a waft of the coffee's aroma from where he stood. She was looking up at the sky as if waiting for something. The wind seemed a bit colder around here. Weird.
Gray went closer, positioning himself by leaning onto the street light's pole. Light from it shone on him, which made him snicker. So ironic. Life mocks you in any way possible. When you are living in the dark, it tries to make you laugh by shining light on your physical form. Gray knew that there could be nothing that could save him. He's let go of that dream a long time from now. After all, dreaming for a really long time with no signs of progress, can really crush your hope. It leaves one to let go of a dream that will possibly never come true.
"Tch. Fuck… Fuck this shitty world."
His voice was low like a growl and laced with utter disgust. There was a hint of mysterious tone to it and it sounded very familiar to Juvia. It was hidden quite well, but Juvia was sure she heard it. The tone of being in pain so much that you have to hold the sob in your throat.
"What?"
Gray turned his head to see the bluenette looking towards him with a look of concern. He had been thinking out loud once again. He took in her soft natural features. Her blue hair was moving against the wind and it was pretty. It reminded him of something that he can't quite grasp but it was close.
He replied, "It's nothing."
Juvia could feel a tug down her heart. She felt numb. He spoke like it he has been saying it for the longest of time. His voice sounded so flat and nonchalant, that it reminded her of the days she lived with her mom. Her mom hated her with great passion. She loved her mom, but soon enough she decided her mom never loved her. Rain fell upon their neighborhood and it made situations worse.
Juvia was sent to the orphanage then, at the age of 7, and it's been a decade since then. But it still reminded her of the way her mother had left her.
"I'll pick you up later!"
Juvia's eyes were filled with tears and she was bawling. The other orphans were staring at her intently. Soon enough, the rain had started falling.
"What's wrong Juvia? Mama is here. Don't worry, I'll be back."
"It's nothing."
Juvia shuddered from the sudden flashback. She had said those bitter words in the same way. The same exact way. She had replied in a way that sounded relieved but melancholic at the same time. It was like sighing deeply after hard work's day, but the sudden tone of sadness. It was like hoping they'd notice their pain.
"Beautiful…"
It had started snowing. Gray's head was tilted upwards, raising his hand.
"No. The snow isn't beautiful. It's nothing but something that destroys people's lives. Like…"
Gray looked at her.
"Like who?" he asked.
"Like… hah- like… never mind. Juvia has to go."
She stood up and ran, accidentally throwing her cup of unfinished coffee on the ground. It had spilled and he saw that she had left her umbrella and scarf too. Gray noticed her wearing it before she even initiated a conversation with him. She must've taken it off.
Grabbing her belongings, he ran desperately after her. There was something that he couldn't figure out. The way she looked. The way she stood. The way she spoke. The way she brushed off a simple subject. Her voice.
Catching up to her, he grabbed her arm, stopping her.
"Hey! Let go of Juvia's arm! Juvia has to go back to her apartment!"
"You forgot your umbrella and scarf, Juvia. It's cold and snowing. You might freeze," grabbing the gray colored wool scarf, he draped it around her, "There."
Juvia gazed at his eyes longer than she had intended to. Gray was quite amused. He saw right through her. She had the eyes of a person who had been rejected by society several times. Juvia had the eyes of a victim of rejection and loss.
"Thanks."
"H-hey. U-uhhh… Mind if I take you home? It's freezing after all," Gray asked nervously, he wasn't one to be nervous, but this girl. There was something about her. Something about her gave him a pain in the ass trying to figure who she really is.
"Uhhh… yeah, sure, it's not like you're an axe murderer," she replied with a very cheeky smile.
"Mmm… Let's go. Where do you live, by the way?"
"Fairy Hills."
And just like that, his head started hurting. Gray felt the sudden gush of recent nightmares came running through his mind, and it hurt. He groaned, turning his face away for a second, hoping she wouldn't hear. But that was to no avail.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah, just a small headache. No need to worry, Juvia."
Gray was sure that he was going crazy because of everything she does or says. He'll find out soon enough, if he learns more about her. So, he asks her questions about herself on the way to her apartment, which surprisingly, Gray knew the way to.
Juvia felt safe around this man for some reason. She felt like she's been talking to an old friend the whole time. Her heart was racing and her feet felt light. It was as if they weren't even touching the ground. She knew this feeling. The light hearted feeling and the butterflies in her stomach.
She must be in love.
Juvia looked up the sky and raised her hand, letting snow touch her hand slightly. She shuddered at the moment it had touched the tips of her fingers. She could feel the flashbacks and memories come back to her. The way it has ruined her life.
Her lip trembled and the tears wanted to come out, but all she felt was numbness around her chest. She forced herself to cry, but nothing came out. She let herself drown in the memories, both from her dreams and reality itself. It drove her mind crazy.
She hugged Gray tightly, burying her face into his chest. Juvia was surprised to find him warm. When he had draped her scarf around her neck, she felt the cold tips of his fingers touch her. They felt like icicles frozen for the longest of time. Juvia could remember the familiar feeling. The same feeling from her dreams when she hugged a man just like this.
Gray was quite surprised, but he welcomed the hug with open arms, remembering a certain memory like this. The feeling of being warm in a woman's embrace. More importantly, the more he finds out about Juvia he realizes how similar she is to the woman in his dreams.
"H-hey. What's wrong?"
"The snow," Juvia replied in a low tone, as if trying to hold back her tears. She wasn't one to break down like this, but something about today made her feel more vulnerable than ever.
"Oi, Juvia. What's with it? There's nothing wrong."
Gray could hear her murmuring words in his chest, but it was difficult for him to hear. He craned his neck closer to her, hearing her repeat a phrase. She sounded so broken and fragile, and it led Gray to the final puzzle piece of her past. She's been lying the whole time about her past. She's been being held back by it with chains of unreliable fucking memories. That must've been the reason. She tells of a happy childhood, where in fact, she's been abandoned by her parents, not even loved.
"I love you, okaa-san."
It hurt Gray. Why would a mother leave this girl in an orphanage? She's such a kind-hearted person yet so fragile like glass. She's strong though, Gray could give her that. He saw that she had strong determination for a dream like that. She's been rejected by society, it was obvious, so it was also obvious she wanted someone to make her feel loved and accepted.
"The snow reminds Juvia of the rain."
Gray was terribly confused from her words.
"The snow is always sad and cold, just like the rain. The rain is just… just…" her voice broke off, hugging Gray tighter.
"The rain has ruined your life has it?"
Juvia gasped, pulling from the hug, and that's when he saw the true colors of her eyes. By true colors, Gray meant the emotions being conveyed through the colors of one's eyes. If you looked closely, and observed it, you would understand. He saw the sudden fear and surprise in her eyes. There was also something that she was hiding from him.
Juvia nodded to his question.
"Juvia bears a curse. She's called the rain woman. She can make it rain because of her emotions. The snow is just like rain. Cold and wet. People hate Juvia because of her curse. The always say that it ruins their day. And okaa-san, she also hated Juvia for that, even though Juvia loved her," Juvia's voice was wobbly. There were tears welling up at the sides of her eyes.
"I see," his eyebrows knitted showing a troubled expression, "So the snow reminds you of the rain? They're both beautiful, y'know. I've loved the rain, since I was small. It made me feel safe and rainy days were the only days I could let out all of my thoughts with no certain regrets. If that's what others hate you for, then that's what I like about you," he paused, realizing that he let his own emotions control his words, but he still continued "You just have to look at it in another way."
Sometimes, Gray wondered why he even bothered with words like these when they were just lies. He lived in the hurtful truth, so why did he lie to her? Was it to make her feel better? No. Maybe it was because Gray felt like he was telling the truth for once. Truth that didn't hurt for once. He smiled inwardly.
Juvia felt like the darkened skies of rain and her worries were suddenly taken away. Like her rain was suddenly overpowered by the powers of the holy sun and the clear skies. His words were so bright and they felt like the actual truth. He sounded so sincere and concerned.
They were closer to Fairy Hills than she had expected. She was back.
"Here we are."
Juvia looked at his hair, as if mesmerized by it. It was black, raven black. Juvia never thought about it but now that she has, she wondered why he even accompanied her. Well, not that she was complaining… Realizing she never got his name, she asked, "Uhh, sorry to ask, but what's your name?"
Gray sighed deeply.
"Gray. Gray Fullbuster," he told her in a formal tone, then asking, "You?"
"Juvia Lockser."
Gray froze in place with widened eyes and felt really cold. Normally, he wouldn't really feel cold, but now… hearing that name. It felt so cold and distant. But as he repeated the name in his head again and again, it felt so warm and close. Like he's been missing something in his whole life. Like his memories were jacked and lost. Gray had often wondered why it seemed like there was something missing in his life. It was a memory.
The blue haired girl in his dreams whose face was once blurred became clear. It was her. Juvia Lockser. An unexpected memory came to mind; a specific death. Gray was surprised to find that he was dying. He was exhausted and had no magic left. He had been beaten up. His willpower wasn't enough to stand up and fight once more. But, he was smiling at the sky. At least he wasn't dying alone. She was there.
His hand was stretched out over the ground reaching out to her frail hand. She was laying on her side with tears overflowing her cheeks. The rain was sure to come later.
"Gray-sama? Juvia wants you to promise her something."
"What is it?"
"Promise her that you will find her and you won't forget this day… even if it's another lifetime."
"Don't worry, Juvia. I will."
With that they smiled holding hands with the last of their strength. They could hear the faint voices shouting from a distance. They were yelling out there names. Darkness overwhelmed them.
Gray turned to look at her. The sound of his footsteps were heard as he walked towards her. Juvia was crying. Her lip was trembling as well. When he reached there, he stared longingly into her beautiful sapphire blue eyes. He was mesmerized by it. It looked like the seas. Waves crashing and it felt like he was there. He reached out his hand to stroke her gave him warm memories and a feeling that felt so tender and caring that left him wanting more.
Without thinking he grabbed her shoulders. His teeth were clenched as lip began trembling. She gasped.
"Juvia. Juvia Lockser…"
He buried his face onto her chest and tears streamed down his cheeks.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
Gray sobbed harder.
"Gray-sama…" Juvia had said his name with the honorific as if it was always like that. It felt heart wrenching to the both of them,
How could this happen to them? They could've felt complete and filled with light, but no.
No.
The world is cruel to those who suffer. Merciless even… and that's that.
"Why. Why? Why?!"
It hurt Juvia to see him like this. He was sobbing onto her chest and for her it felt like was slipping away instead of becoming closer. They slowly fell onto the ground. Knees crushing on the snow. Juvia had never felt so helpless. She let him cry. Juvia knew it was the best way to let emotions out. But he cried no more. He just laid his face onto her chest with no words exchanged.
Gray could hear her beating heart loudly. A sign she was still alive.
He never felt so afraid in his life. Gray felt like her heartbeat was ticking, and if he waited any longer, the timer would end and she'd leave once again. He felt so vulnerable and –
And… and…
And lost.
Never.
Juvia kissed his hair and she liked his scent. He smelled like strongly brewed coffee, vanilla, and a strong scent of cologne. She smiled slightly and said, "Gray-sama, it's alright. You didn't break our promise. You're here now, right?"
He rose his head lightly dusting off the snow fallen on his head. He looked at her intensely and using his index finger, he raised her head by her chin. The simple act was enough to make Juvia cry. Tears were about to cascade down her eyes, but before she could, Gray said, "Don't cry. I'm here."
He kissed her forehead, caressing her face afterwards, saying, "I'll always find you. Even if it's in another lifetime."
"Even if you have to go through the pain of our memories gone again?"
Gray assured her once more, "Even if I had to go through the pain of our memories gone again," he sighed contentedly and continued, "I know that you'll always be there to find."
With that, she chuckled and gave him a big embrace.
The weather was so cold yet there were two people who felt the warmest. They stayed there without having to say the phrase consisting three words and eight letters. Assurance of no rejection and loss was enough for them. To find the light of their darkness on such a cold day would be enough for them. Their once incomplete memories, now complete, was enough.
The snow fell thicker as the people who knew the couple silently smiled from a watching distance.