Archive of Our Own ^beta

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Sooooooo.. I've in and out of writing and never really thought about 'publishing' them this is probably the closest I'll get. Most of these will be on Laurance (Irene forbid a girl to be passionate about her husband) and his relations- yes, mainly Laurmau. I mightttttt do a few pages of head canons, y'all tell me what you want- whether that'd be the said head canons or a specific story. I work with a lot of symbolism, so if theres something your confused about please feel free to ask! Anygays, to the rest of your night/day, happy reading! :)

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Grotesque is the only correct word to describe my repulsive heart that believes it beats and twists for others, for her. Vines and blood- parasites of its lively death squirming, squelching as all empathy is juiced out for Ruins’ drink. His tastes are delicate and divine- almost as if he made the recipe himself. Sending my organs into an eternal hamster wheel with no way off. He’ll starve his fruits of the sickly sweet nectar of life, watering with only rotting hope and faux dreams.

It’s almost delicious, chasing everything I ever wanted- sticking to her side like a thorn blissfully. It has to be real- her hand in mine as vinyl sings us along to her friend’s joy. Satin whisps and teases her image, highlighting her smile as she dances under fairy light, enough to make me blush brighter than the sunset haloing the holy helm of her obsidian locks.

Lovely- that's the only word to describe it.

Everything from the padding of her soles to the star glimmers in her eyes- she’s delightful as always. Amber crinkles with wonder as embarrassed giggles escape once I remind her of herself, flattery, she calls it.

As the night continued, watching her swoon for the citizens below us almost made me smile, but all it did was make my heart choke, wishing her all her attention. I laugh- how could I deprive her of helping others for my own benefit? It would be quite easy- but she likes her freedom. I hear a soft sigh of contentment as the stars blink above. “I’m so glad you're here..” she whispers reverently as if I would have a heart attack once the words reach my ears. I did, but she doesn’t need to know of my desperation.

I reach out- only to feel cold, jagged cliffs against my rough palms. My eyes almost deceive me. She isn’t a wall of rubble, her lovely eyes aren’t holes I dug out, and I’m not delusional. She’s here. I’m not running in circles. My heart is beating, We are here under the stars together. Please…

Amber eyes flicker back into view, then back out. Worms squirmed, squeezing his delicious desperation out for a drink. Fumes fill his head, a hopeful gasp echoes from him, panting as his body trembles. Glimpses of dreamy landscapes clash with the chains that flash in view. Knees buckled in heartfelt agony, tears streamed as he doubled over, his hands confusing the feeling of rubble and grass blades together as he heaved.

Slowly but surely, the sound of vinyl tunes sung as fairy lights gleamed once more. Bliss overcomes him forcefully as he sees the familiar sight of a dress swaying under lights happily. He smiles and stands up, taking her hands, not realizing how the stars had reversed and turned back, in this endless wheel. They swirl and dance as his heart fills back up without him realizing, forgetting about what just happened for another spin, for another whirl for eternity.

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1)I’ll love you
Till you learn to love
But please hold me,
Chain me down-
In your arms, tonight

2)Kiss me, once
And fill my heart with Kerosene.
Light it up and watch me burn-
Crush my bones to ash afterward
With your loving hands

3) Take my desperate remains- my thoughts
And discard with pleasure
Leaving nothing but devotion,
Discard everything but my love

4)Promise me: you’ll wait
wait for my heart to stitch itself back together,
For me to come back to you- your side
Just to take my heart once again
And rip the new seams for another

5)I’ll love you
As you cry for another,
As infatuation writes your name-
Your spawn of shadow learns to damn your name
…
I’ll run- from you, your ‘love’- from it all
Leaving my heart to rottenly thrive with you
To let you see what godforsaken fate you’ve written-
For me… for us, till you magically forget once more
And rerun your cycle of learning- living

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1)My pearl, spare thou moment, just once.
Mayest not, for I kneel before you
Singing out thy blessings, moreover poison

4)Hear royal wyverns sing my wishes.
For they feel pity on my hopeful corpse.
Emerald and amber complement;
So why can’t we?

8)I jest
For I stick to you
Until your tabled to danger
For then I must go,
To weave and chain down whatever’s lurking
Encasing myself as bait for your safety

14)Once everything has gone down
Once they’ve stopped bleeding me dry out of boredom
Call out to me, be my guide home
Let the dragons bring me home,
bringing me back from inescapable hell
Back to your arms.

20)Ignore the change
How thorns impaled my love.
How my heart filled with weeding.
Gems transformed into rubies-
before paling to a light blue,
Labeling itself as a two-step divine intervention
fighting over a hopeless husk is more truth.

27)I am not a phoenix anymore
Yet a fire, burning itself out
Please don’t water me down
For I live to give you warmth

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Oh, Irene- you wondrous, filthy woman. The matron and her shield, isn’t that sweet? What about me, huh? What about what we had- OUR LOVE? Damn you, damn you to the depths of each world you created to keep me entrapped. That, is probably what I would have said, IF I wasn’t stuck in this godforsaken fortress of shadows she’d had caged me in. She had stripped me of everything, even my own body, casting me aside as a hopeless obstacle she couldn’t get rid of like we hadn’t spent eons gazing at the stars we created: US- me, and their disgusting angel.

I should’ve declined that stupid relic. If I had known that blazing piece of scrap would destine everyone to turn on me, I would’ve cursed that damned witch before leaving that island immediately. Only if we were seen as humans once more, maybe I’d see her amethyst eyes under me once more, or every night under those blessed suns as she smiles my way. Now the closest thing a sun I have are the pits of lava pooling, filling the cracks in the crimson bedrock- the last cage she made for me. How I wish to plunge into those damn oceans of hell, to feel alive once more as I evaporate into burning ash and hope she won't find my next incarnate and let them live their humane life for once. But she found me, and every other generation before- praying for a losing game’s a pathetic gamble.

I wish to see the moon once more, but only then do I loathe it as I remember how I promised to engrave us into it. Then every other memory that wretched artifact stored flashes as a broken film from generations ago. Did every version of me love her- or did she poison the crystal to torture me with this star-crossed fate?

…Did she ever love me back? Or at least once in a lifetime ago?