Work Text:
It’s an unexpected encounter when Homare walks home from the publishing company.
There she is, Ayaka Yamamoto, the woman he has failed in the past.
The meeting is awkward. They approach each other, but neither really knows how to start a conversation. Surely, Homare knows not to start with poetry.
It’s Ayaka who breaks the ice.
“I saw your performance as Gui Yu. I also read your life story.”
It takes a moment for Homare to reply, “What do you think?”
“I finally saw the man whom I wished was there with me back then.”
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…
…
Ayaka begins again, “Do you know what I mean?”
Homare nods. “Indeed, the man who was there with you when you were at your lowest was merely Arisugawa Homare the poet. The image of Arisugawa Homare.” He smiles wistfully. “I was a fool back then. It was supposed to be a moment of vulnerability for both of us, but the silly old me decided to keep my shields up.”
“...you’ve matured.”
“I had help from my comrades. That story you read, the first draft was criticized for only representing my image.”
“Arisugawa Homare the poet, correct?”
“Yes. I love arts. I love poetry. Yet without realizing it, I have made them my armor.”
…
…
…
“...I’m glad that you’ve spoken to me without your armor. I’m not angry anymore, but we’re different people now.”
“I know, and that is fine. I have failed you in the past and there is no changing it, but I only wish to try to make up for it even if just a bit,” he said, “by speaking to you as the real Arisugawa Homare.”
“You’ve done that and I appreciate it. I hope you understand what I mean by ‘broken cyborg’ too.”
“I know. You never meant it to be that harsh, yet I ended up thinking that way. I should have known that because…we were lovers.”
“I never knew the real Arisugawa Homare was truly that clumsy and vulnerable, so I suppose…I was wrong too, and I’m sorry.”
“It is not your fault. Perhaps if I have shown you the real me, you may not have called me that. The real me was truly pathetic, was it not?”
Ayaka shook her head. “You’re brave enough to show me the real you. That’s not weakness. That’s strength.”
They exchange one final glance, not as lovers or enemies, but as just two people who have once failed each other. Then they part ways with a smile.