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Riza was nearly asleep when the shrill ring of her landline cracked the tired silence of her apartment into pieces. She groaned and pressed her face into the warmth of her pillow, wondering what kind of emergency was supposed to get her out of bed when her back was still aching from her being thrown into a wall earlier that day.
It was supposed to be a relatively routine operation. It had certainly gone that way at first. They had broken into the gang’s base, and she had been heading to the upper level when the stairs began to ripple under her feet, wood turning into what felt like liquid. The next instant she was launched over the stairwell and into the opposite wall, gun skittering away from her scrabbling fingers.
It was never any fun when the other side had alchemists, too. She had muttered a creative string of profanities to herself under her breath as she lunged for her gun, half expecting a giant wooden hand to smash her like a fly into the wall. Then she heard the familiar crack of gloved skin grinding against gloved skin, and the sudden heat of flame. And that was that.
It certainly was not her most dignified operation, and she spent the drive back glaring over the steering wheel as Roy shot her wary looks from time to time. He opened his mouth a few times like he was about to say something, but he always settled back into his seat and re-crossed his arms over his chest. She decided that she wasn’t in the mood to pry whatever it was out of him. Not when she still had the imprint of the wall still stamped on her back.
She finally found the will to swing her legs out from under her blankets and hobble over to the phone. Her back throbbed in indignation and she snatched the phone off its hook, not bothering with her usual ‘Lieutenant Hawkeye speaking.’
“What is it,” she snapped, leaning against her wall for support.
“Riza!”
She froze at the sound of his loud voice crossing over into forbidden territory. She stayed silent trying to get a hold on her bearings, wishing she had woken up a bit more alert.
“Oh, come on, Riza. What’s with the silent treatment?”
She narrowed her eyes when she picked up on the way he slurred her name. Suddenly it felt like an insult, like he had stumbled drunkenly over into intimate territory only to sully it.
“What are you doing,” she hissed. “Do you need a ride?”
There was a small period of silence, and then a slightly hurt, “Is that why you think I called?”
She hesitated, forcing herself to choose her words more carefully. “I’m just going off precedent, Sir.”
When he spoke again his voice was a little smaller, a bit more subdued. “I’m sorry, Riza.”
She pressed her hand to her head, closing her eyes and trying to smother the mess of memories of him using her name stirring in the back of her mind. Now was not the time.
“Stop calling me that.”
“Please?”
Something in her twinged at the soft tone of his voice, the plain vulnerability of his plea. She took in a deep breath and let it out, wishing that this didn’t have to happen when she was sore and tired and relatively unequipped to deal with dredging up any of the baggage they were carrying.
“Ok, Roy,” she heard herself say. “Are you going to tell me why you called now?”
“I like it when you use my name.”
“I swear to God, if you’re—“
“No, no! I’m sorry. I’m just…” He let out a harsh breath and she had to hold the phone a little further away from her ear. “I’m just so sorry, Riza.”
“About what?”
He responded with a sharp and painful bark of a laugh that she wished he wasn’t capable of. “Where could I even begin?”
“Roy, you aren’t responsible for my choices.”
“I was so scared today.”
She blinked at this pained admission, wondering where the intensity of his voice came from. “What do you mean? Everything went well. We were in and out.”
“He threw you.”
“So what? I’ve been thrown plenty of times and so have you—“
“I’m so sorry.”
She felt her breath catch in her throat when she heard the quiet sound of a muffled sob. “Roy, are you—“
“It’s stupid of me, I know you’re fine and this is probably more trouble than it’s worth, but shit, Riza, I care about you so much and I never meant for—“
“Please just take a deep breath, Roy, it’s fine. Everything is fine.” Even as she said it she felt heat bubbling up in her eyes and her hand began to shake as it cradled the phone to her cheek.
“I’m so sorry, Riza.” He was beginning to sound like a broken record, words blurring and breathing short. “I’m so sorry.”
“Hey, hey.” She forced herself to breathe steadily, focusing on the rise and fall of her chest. They both couldn’t go to pieces now. They didn’t have that luxury. “Ok, where are you, Roy? Where can I come find you?”
“You shouldn’t have to—“
“I haven’t had to do anything that I didn’t want to, Roy.”
He paused, seeming to get himself under control. “I’m in the park.”
“Why the park?”
“It’s nice out.”
She smothered a smile in her hand. “I can’t believe you.”
He laughed shakily, and she could almost see him ruffling his hair the wrong way, making it into a black bird nest.
“Ok,” she said, forcing herself to push away from the support of her wall. “I assume you’re at the phone booth then, unless you’ve figured out the secrets of telecommunications in your drunken stupor.”
“You never cut me any slack, do you?”
“When you become deserving of slack, I’ll cut you some.”
“Hey, Riza?”
“Hm?”
“Thank you.”
She pressed her lips together, shoving back the thousands of things that the irrational part of her was trying to say. “I’ll be there in a moment.”
“Riza?”
She rolled her eyes. “Roy, if you keep this up, I’ll find nothing left of you but a uniformed and frostbitten statue.”
He coughed nervously and then cleared his throat. “Well, uh, when you get here I was thinking you might like to take a little walk around here, I mean the stars are looking rather nice and I, er, I mean you’re under no obligation and these certainly aren’t orders but I was just thinking…”
He faded off and she couldn’t hold back the grin spreading over her face. “Why, I haven’t heard you this nervous since—“
“Ok then, just forget it—“
“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes with a blanket. I assume you have your coat on and that it will be enough for walking around at two in the morning in the middle of fall?”
He laughed and her back started to feel a little better as the warmth of anticipation shot through her. “Yes, Riza, your deductions are as astute as ever.”
“Good, then I’ll be there in—“
“Hey, Riza?”
“What on earth could it be this time?”
There was nothing but silence on the other end of the line and she felt the atmosphere grow heavier as she sensed him struggle to say something.
“I—I just wanted to say—“
She waited with bated breath for a few moments, but then came the defeated sigh and she knew it was another lost cause. She berated herself for the stirrings of guiltless wishing.
“I just wanted to say that I’m glad that you’re coming.”
“It’s ok,” she said softly. “I understand.”
“Do you?”
“Yes.”
Another beat of silence and then he said with slightly forced cheer, “Well, the stars and I will be waiting for you out here.”
“I’ll be there soon, you sap.”
“See you then.”
When she hung up the phone, she forced herself not to mourn a missed opportunity. The time would come when it did, and if it never came, that was just as well. She straightened and found her back might even benefit from the warmth of a coat and some movement to work out the pain in the muscles.
She made her way to the doorway, thinking that the last time she had really looked at the stars, she had been in Ishval, and she had begged them to show her the way.
All was well. All would be fine.