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“This storm is going to be awesome!” Tyler exclaimed as they loaded the van with equipment. “Like once-in-a-lifetime kinda deal. The meeting of all the right conditions to have maximal snow fall and—”
Josh was used to zoning out whenever Tyler began his long speeches about barometric pressure, currents, and other weather patterns. He could go on for hours undeterred by the other’s obvious lack of passion. They’d been on many blizzard expeditions before, and it was not half as exciting as the names (Snowpocalypse, Snowtastrophe, etc) would have you believe. Usually it was Tyler standing knee deep in the highest pile they could find while talking about wind speed. Josh would have to wipe the lenses as sleet poured down upon them. Tyler seemed unpeturbed by the conditions, as he often was, but Josh just wanted to get out of the cold.
That was the nicest thing about working snowstorms; when the work was done and they could strip off their wet clothing and snuggle somewhere warm, preferably with hot cocoa. He loved snow days as a kid, but that didn’t involve actual work. Back in the day he’d never think he’d be one of those people on TV daring to go out in states of emergency, but here he was mentally complaining that blizzards were boring and he’d rather be chasing a tornado or standing in a hurricane. Tyler had caused a lot of upheaval in Josh’s life for sure.
Tyler was meticulous about preparing for these ‘adventures’ down to the equipment they brought, food and clothing packed, and even the stack of mixtapes for the long hours of driving. That’s why he always ended up okay for all the dangerous stuff he and Josh, though he was a willing prisoner in Tyler’s grand schemes, did.
A fleet of other reporters were also dispatched to record Snowlamity 2017, and there was actual money staked on who would record the most thundersnow. Contrary to what they usual did, Josh and Tyler were actually going to broadcast live, though Josh would of course keep recording in case they got any material worthwhile to make into a show.
You may have an multitude of the best meteorologists in the business at your disposal, but the weather is far from predictable. They had reported from one location already and were traveling to a new point when the steady snow turned to whipping winds, sleet, and poor visibility. Josh was driving, white-knuckling it at some points, making pointed comments about possibly just stopping on the side of the road while they waited for this to pass. Tyler packed enough food to last them a week after all, and it wasn’t worthwhile for them to end up crashing into a tree. But they were far from the next town, and they need to keep plugging along.
Josh was a minute away from just saying ‘screw it’ and letting Tyler take over (though he was liable to get them into an accident), better to hand the reins over to the guy responsible for saving their lives countless times against tornadoes. And then a pair of deer was in the road in front of their van, and they both screamed. Tyler reached over to yank the wheel away from the animals, forgetting the rules about driving in the snow—to not make sudden movements.
They lost control completely, spinning several times in a circle and tipping off the side of the road. The van came to a rest in a ditch, facing the wrong direction.
“Josh! Josh! Are you okay?” Tyler yelled, struggling with his seatbelt. The cameraman was bent over in his seat and covering his head—his instinctual disaster position.
“Is it over?” Josh peeked from between his arms.
After a quick check to find no injuries on either of them, Josh threw a crumbled up Burger King wrapper at Tyler’s face.
“What the hell were you thinking?! You could’ve gotten us killed!”
“I’m sorry—I’m sorry. You know how I am with deer.”
The carefully packed van was littered with scattered gear, and everything was tilted at an odd angle. Both climbed out to inspect the damage to the car, and nearly three hours passed of struggling before they gave up any hope of getting out of the ditch on their own.
“It’s okay,” Tyler said reassuringly as they climbed back in the van. “We’ve got a radio and can call for help.”
Josh gnawed on his frozen lips until the coppery taste of blood exploded in his mouth as Tyler fiddled with the equipment. Time ticked away and Tyler’s muttering was driving Josh insane since he wouldn’t commit to saying that there was a problem.
“Be honest with me, is the radio working?” Josh burst out after an hour and a strong gust of wind pushed hard against the van.
“Well, um, no. It’s a little broken.” Tyler said with a determined air.
Josh dropped down to his knees, “There’s no cell service. We’re stuck in the middle of nowhere with no radio. We’re gonna die.”
Tyler scoffed, “No we’re not. We’ve got food, shelter, and my awesome survival skills! I’m ready. Now I’m going to fix the radio and you’re going to start filming this for the show.”
The instructions helped ground Josh and give him purpose, a sense of the normal routine—Tyler directing their actions since, yeah, he did have survival skills. They started insulating the van and put a red flag on the antenna to signal for help.
“So I’ve packed enough water to last us several days. It’s not ideal to melt snow, but if we need to we’ll do it,” Tyler was examining the cooler full of neatly stacked water bottles. Josh was looking through the box full of granola bars, beef jerky, nuts, trail mix, canned fruits, and chocolate.
“Dude, why chocolate?” Josh was feeling considerably less anxious now.
“High-calorie, non-perishable. You’ll thank me for that later because staying warm takes a lot of energy.”
“I’m thanking you already,” Josh wiggled his eyebrows, but Tyler wasn’t looking.
“We need to ration everything but I think it’d be a good idea to have some food and water now since we’ve been moving around a lot. And then I’ll work on the radio,” Tyler sat cross-legged on the nest of sleeping bags they made. Josh tossed him a protein bar and a bottle of water and they ate in silence. Josh hadn’t noticed the gnawing hunger in his stomach, the fear and cold had been dominating his thoughts since they had crashed.
The hunger abated, Tyler set to examining the radio by the light of a flashlight. But night was creeping in and he gave up, saying he’ll try again when the sun rose the next day. Pointedly Josh turned off the cameras and Tyler watched quietly from within the pile of blankets.
“Goes without saying that we need to snuggle for warmth,” Tyler whispered and Josh kissed him on his cold nose after slipping into the makeshift bed next to him.
“Oh that’s going to be a real burden,” Josh said sarcastically and they wrapped limps around each other.
The air in the van was chilly, but with all their insulating and the heat from their bodies, it quickly became comfortable as the storm raged outside. Bodies tangled and moving together, it felt safe, a private little shelter just the two of them.
“Probably not a good idea to have sex. Gotta conserve our energy,” Tyler moaned as his hips moved while Josh worked his fist up and down Tyler’s cock. They hadn’t bothered taking their clothes off, opting to stay as warm as possible by shoving down their pants and boxers halfway.
“Don’t be such a killjoy,” Josh replied, “You got us into this mess, now get me off.”
Tyler rolled his eyes and reached for the lube lying conveniently nearby.
“It’d be just our luck if we were rescued right now,” Tyler said some time later. He dropped his head down to kiss the back of Josh’s neck as he thrusted forward.
“You know what they say—” Josh replied through gasps, “If the van is a-rockin’ don’t—ugh shit—come a-knocking.”
“How many calories are in jizz?” Tyler asked sleepily, the whistling wind the soundtrack as they tried to sleep.
“Not much. But there’s protein, I think,” Josh said.
“Hmm, we shouldn’t—” Tyler yawned, “we shouldn’t waste it. Y’know just in case.”
“Dude—” Josh was used to Tyler’s weird thoughts while they were falling asleep, but this was among the more memorably disgusting, “That’s nasty.”
“Sometimes you’ve gotta do things you wouldn’t normally do in order to survive.”
“I think I’d rather die than have to explain in an interview that we made it through because of guzzling large amounts of cum.”
“Gross,” Tyler grinned into Josh’s shoulder.
“You’re the one who brought it up!” Josh said indignantly.
The worst thing about being stranded is the interminable waiting. They were used to being with each other all the time and in close quarters—they didn’t mind it, but this was seemingly endless. The blizzard continued for two more days and the hunger and cold became constants in their lives. Tyler would fiddle with the radio until he’d be close to throwing it out in the show in frustration, but then Josh would take it away, and encourage him to lie down and get warm.
There was a lot of silence as they ran out of things to talk about, but then Tyler or Josh would start singing and they’d be distracted for a while. Day four the snow stopped, and they set to digging themselves out of the huge snowdrift. They were too tired and weak to enjoy the sun or throw a single snowball. They stood waist deep in what had been the road, turning their faces to the light. The land was silent—not another human nearby to disturb the peace.
Josh woke in the night to quiet sobs racking the body lying next to him.
“Tyler—Tyler wake up,” he shook his shoulder and Tyler opened his eyes with a wheezing gasp.
“We’re gonna die. We’re gonna die. No one knows we’re here. We’ll run out of food and oh my God, I’ve killed you. It’s all my fault,” Tyler pulled at his hair and ranted, “I’m so sorry, Josh. I’m so sorry.”
“No—no, Tyler it’s okay. You’ve done so well so far. We’re going to be fine. They’re looking for us. And they know generally where we are so it’ll be no time before there is a helicopter or something flying down to rescue us. And we’re totally going to stop for some burgers as soon as we’re back in civilization.” Josh covered him with his body, letting the warmth seep into the shaking form until Tyler was still and breaths even again.
It was barely a few hours later when Josh woke again to more shuddering, this time with coughs that crackled ominously in the chilly air. Tyler’s skin was covered by a sheen of sweat and heat that nearly burnt Josh’s fingers when he touched Tyler’s forehead. It was beyond the warmth of spending time snuggled together underneath a mountain of blankets. Tyler was mumbling, his mind trapped in fever dreams while his lungs struggled to stay clear.
“Tyler—Tyler! Wake up!” Josh pleaded, and time lagged in the long minutes it took Tyler to open his unfocused eyes, and then to convince him to stay awake. Josh kept yelling for Tyler to open his mouth to take Tylenol (thank God for Tyler’s attention to detail when making the first aid kit) and drink water—more water than had been rationed, but it was important for him to drink when he was this ill. The rattling in his chest terrified Josh almost as much as when they were spinning out of control on the icy road nearly five days before. His mind imagined lungs filling with fluid and Tyler drowning in his arms.
Josh didn’t get a wink more of sleep and he didn’t want any more since the day was spent pressing cool wet cloths to Tyler’s brow, forcing him to drink and eat, and wiping his mouth as Tyler’s body contracted spasmodically to cough up the congestion. Tyler was too weak to speak, eyelids barely opening to Josh’s commands. He had spiraled quickly down to total incapacitation but the cold and malnutrition had increased both their susceptibility.
Josh would’ve brought him to an emergency room hours ago, but they were stranded. Tyler was resting finally as the sun neared the horizon. Not close to setting, but the daylight would soon be gone. They were only a few water bottles away from empty, which was a few days earlier than planned, but Tyler’s illness had necessitated it. The surrounding snow would have to suffice. Josh made a fire the way Tyler had shown him in a little clearing of snow they made just outside the trunk. Tyler’s camping equipment of course included a collapsible pot that when filled with snow would melt down to water he poured into bottles. It was slow work, but that gave Josh time to examine the abandoned radio.
He should’ve done it before, he realized. He was a cameraman after all—used to working with fiddly electronic equipment. Granted a camera and a radio were different but it was just a puzzle to figure out right now. He filled five bottles before his eyes hurt too much from straining and he felt guilty for leaving Tyler for so long. The radio was in pieces that he carefully laid out to return to work with the dawn.
Tyler’s breaths were easier enough for Josh to feel safe enough to lie down and sleep next to him, until he was woken again by a coughing fit.
“Can you hear me?” Josh asked his sick boyfriend, who was propped up in his lap while he thumped on Tyler’s back to loosen the congestion. “How are you feeling?”
Tyler only groaned in response.
It was another draining night for Josh and he felt weak when the light in the van was too bright to attempt for more rest. Tyler had been peaceful for hours, but Josh was too antsy and over-exerted to sleep. His brain slipped into limbo while his fingers danced over the parts of the radio, leaping out of his trance hours later when a green light turned on and there was a crackle of static.
“Tyler! I think I fixed it!” Josh cheered, and Tyler lifted his head briefly. “Hello! Hello! Is anyone there? We need help!”
Silence.
“Please help us. We’re stranded and my—my—someone is really sick.”
“Messsage received. State Search and Rescue Team responding. State your name and location. Over.”
“Josh Dun. I’m with The Weather Channel,” the relief was surging through his body and Josh felt dizzy and weak, “We crashed our van on Route 47 six days ago. I don’t know exactly where we are though.”
“How many are with you? Any injuries. Over.”
“Just t-two. He’s really sick and needs a hospital. Please—”
“We are dispatching helicopters to your location. Light flares or a fire as a signal. Over.”
Josh shook Tyler, “Do you hear that? They’re coming to get us! Do we have flares?”
Tyler took forever to respond, lifting a shaking hand to point at a box under the driver’s seat. Josh felt like he was swimming through molasses as he struggled to open the box full of the cylinders. It took five tries to read the instructions—only an hour of light from each and he had no idea how long it would take the rescue crew to find them. They could be anywhere on this road. He stumbled outside of the van without his coat, and lit two of the flares in the road.
He went back inside, listening for the sound of helicopters through ears that were muffled by the rushing of his heartbeat. He could only curl just inside the door, energy leaving and Josh slept.
His dreams were pictureless but terrifying as waves of fear and pain like knives sliced through his chest. Josh’s head pounded and he woke choking. The flares had been extinguished. How much time had passed? Had the helicopters passed them already?
With a great deal of effort he ventured back outside to light two more flares. It took too much out of him to get back to the van, and he lay on his back in the snow. The weak winter sun warmed his too-hot face and Josh wondered what it would be like to die here.
“Josh? Where are you?” Tyler spoke for the first time in days and Josh needed to get back to him.
He crawled through the snow that begged him to stay and sleep. Josh hoisted himself inside the van again but this time kept moving until he was lying next to Tyler.
“Y’re all wet,” Tyler mumbled and placed his hands on Josh’s face. “Warm.” Tyler had to roll away to cough raggedly.
Josh felt like he was on fire, and he too began to cough. His chest ached and tremendous pressure kept him from drawing deep breaths. Head swimming, there was a buzzing in the distance. Was he hallucinating a rescue? Was there no other voice on the radio? Were they about to die here?
Josh grabbed the nearest camera—a small handheld—and turned it on while the buzzing grew louder. Helicopters were nearby.
“Ty—they’re almost here. Stay with me.” Tyler didn’t speak, only responding in coughs.
The rescue team found them both unconscious and feverish. Both were mad later they missed out on their own rescue, but at least Josh was good about recording everything. Josh’s camera was still rolling as he captured footage of them being pulled out of the van and lifted in a basket into the waiting helicopter. They were strapped into stretchers on their way to a hospital when Tyler woke shouting Josh’s name.
“I’m okay—I’m okay,” Josh whispered not loud enough to Tyler to hear.
The rescue team could only do basic first aid, relying on speed to the hospital to save lives. All they could do for the pair of dangerously high temperatures was to give them ice packs and hope for the best. Tyler was actively hallucinating spiders crawling over him and screaming for most of the ride, and Josh was completely unresponsive until he started seizing once they landed on the roof of the hospital.
But they were safe. They were out of the cold and all they needed was time to get better.
“You saved us,” Tyler said with a large smile as he was wheeled into Josh’s room.
“I came through at the end. You were the one who made sure we survived.”
“We make such a good team,” Tyler took Josh’s hand in his.
“Yeah we do,” Josh squeezed back.
It was getting tiresome making appearances on the news, which was standard procedure anytime Josh and Tyler had a near-death experience. Yeah it was awesome they survived this and made for a great episode once the cameras were retrieved. The constant interviews dragged them down since they had barely recovered, but they had a public to serve and fans who’d been freaking out on the internet over their disappearance.
“We need a vacation after this. Somewhere warm where we can just sleep on the beach all day,” Tyler sighed in a make-up chair at some late night talk show.
“Hawaii,” Josh said dreamily, “Let’s go to Hawaii.”
“Actually that sounds awesome. You know,” Tyler looked contemplative, “I’ve always wanted to go in a volcano.”
“Dude, you said warm. Not ‘let’s see how close we can to lava without burning our faces off’. Vacation means a break from risking our necks!” Josh’s voice was exasperated.
“Okay, okay. No volcanoes,” Tyler pouted.
Josh was only thirty percent sure Tyler would follow through on that promise. So he made sure to pack an indestructible radio, lots of protein bars, and pray there weren’t any deer on the island.