Chapter Text
Neil's pov
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January, 11:58 p.m.
My hands were shaking. Of course they were, I was holding a gun.
This was a permanent choice, maybe even a mistake. But what choice do I really have?
Yes, I could just accept my fate and become a doctor, but what statement would I be making? What purpose would I truly have?
As the clock struck 12 I,
missed.
Surrounded by monitors and a steady beat of the heart monitor, I lied in a bed with paper-like sheets.
I didn't want anyone to see me, not Todd, not Nuwanda, not Mr. Keating, not even the doctors.
I mean, I did want to see my friends, but they'd ask questions and I can't handle that yet.
I missed.
This was where I was gonna spend the rest of my life, probably married to a woman, probably miserable.
I glanced over to the nightstand next to the hospital bed. It was full of flowers, cards, poems, and "Five Centuries a Verse".
I hear the door open and a nurse sticks their head inside.
"You have a visitor,” the nurse began, their eyes soft and empathetic, kinda like Todd's. "Your father."
"Okay." I nod, and the nurse nods back.
I already know what my father is gonna say, hes gonna say he already filled out the paper work for me to join military school and he just needs to be approved.
As he enters I can feel myself ache for acting - for a choice, for freedom. Maybe I can convince him to just send me to med school. I mean, I'm practically a senior. Straight A's, perfect attendance.
Maybe I can control that.
He sets some papers in front of me and says exactly what I knew.
I probably looked like a zombie because he cleared his throat to get my attention.
"Can't I just go to med school?"
Maybe it's because I'm in a hospital or maybe its because he finally grew a heart-, either way, he seems to almost give in. Almost care.
"No. Your going to Braden Military School until you are 18. Then you will go to med school." He hands me a pen to sign.
I can at least control med school. Maybe I can go out of state, I could say 'I wanna go to "this university" but its out of state.'
I want to stay because my friends are all down here, but so is my family.
I sigh under my breath and sign what I need to sign. I feel like I'm selling my soul to satan or signing my rights away - which I essentially am.