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"Come on, Broody, you should stay for a game!"
Fingers fell onto the tabletop as Fenris hesitated, looking down at the dwarf. He was shuffling a grimy deck of cards in his hands. Fenris watched as the cards fell and were refiled, one after the other after the other. He blinked, and turned his gaze on Varric's face. "A game of what, exactly?"
"A game of what, he says. Cards! What else?"
He did not resist the sigh, but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Hawke had brought back a tankard of mead for each of them, and looked disappointed to see Fenris standing instead of sitting where he had been when he'd gone to the bar.
"Don't tell me you're leaving," he said. "I bought you another round and everything, now you have to stay!"
"Yeah, that's right. Hawke brought another round. Can't let that go to waste," Varric said, holding onto his drink as Hawke flopped back into his seat. The table wobbled, and Varric started to flick cards across its tabletop, dealing Fenris into a card game he did not know.
"Come on," Hawke wheedled. "Just one game."
Varric chimed in again. "Yeah, just one game, Broody. Don't be such a stick in the mud."
"I don't know how to play."
"I'll teach you!" Hawke said quickly.
"Yeah, Hawke's trustworthy. Let him teach you."
It wasn't as though he had anything else to be doing, he thought, but still he cast a glance towards the door. He half expected Danarius to walk in now as it were, and in some twist of fate, join the card game that his newest companions were trying to cajole him into now. Danarius had been quiet too long, it was unnerving.
"Sit!"
The booming voice made him flinch, and he nearly throw himself into the seat before him in his haste to obey the command.
Hawke was beaming, bright spots of colour on his cheeks rivalling the brightness of his eyes. "Well, that worked!" He seemed pleased with himself, and unaware that Fenris's heart was pounding in his chest.
That... had been foolish.
Fenris scowled, and pretended that his shoulders did not slump as he hunkered over the cards, plucking them from the tabletop with shaking fingers. He wanted to take the cards and throw them, overturn the chair and storm back home, where at least he could smash the bottles of Agregio in the relative comfort of his old master's home.
"You know, actually, I've got to hit the head, before we start," Hawke pointed at Varric. "Teach him while I'm gone."
"I could teach him to cheat," Varric said contemplatively, looking closely at Fenris.
"I thought you didn't cheat!"
"Not with you, Hawke."
"Are you lying?"
"I never lie."
"Ha! No wonder I keep losing all my money," Hawke muttered, walking away.
Fenris fingered the worn cards without conviction. If it were not for the dwarf, he could have left without causing a fuss. But now he had obligated himself; Hawke had told him to sit, and he had sat. And it tasted like poison on his tongue.
"Hawke may be a good guy," Varric said, and Fenris looked over at him as he spoke, "but talking without thinking is one of his downfalls, especially two tankards in."
Fenris blinked slowly. "What is your point?"
"You can stand, if you want." Varric held out his hands. "Hell, Broody, you can walk out of here right now. Hawke'll get over it. Might not even remember it tomorrow, anyway."
Was he that transparent? he wondered. The thought made his fingers clench around the cards. He had to force himself to relax so that they did not tear into pieces.
"He's got a big personality, and an even bigger mouth, but you've got to let him know what you want. Same with all of us. Frightened rabbits spend their whole lives running, you know."
He felt his lyrium burn and sent up a silent prayer for the Maker to give him strength. And also that he would not start glowing from the swell of anger in his veins. "I am not your frightened rabbit."
"No?"
"I'm-" Fenris. "I'm the wolf," he said softly, eyebrows knitting together. "‘Little wolf’," he added, looking to Varric again. "That's what my name means. Evidently."
"I did figure as much."
Fenris breathed out slowly, shaking away the cobwebs of the way that Danarius used to say his name. "What's your point?" he repeated.
Varric smiled, and hid his face behind his cards again. "You know my point, Broody, you've just got to take advantage of it."
Fenris frowned. Take advantage of it? Take advantage of the fact that he was the wolf and not the rabbit? Was that what the dwarf was trying to say?
... That he was his own master, and no one could chase him down?
He had said once before that he could not run forever, and he was not. Time to turn and face the tiger, he had said, and he would rather chance the resulting battle as a wolf instead of a rabbit.
"Okay, let's get this show on the road!" Hawke announced, dropping into the seat next to Fenris.
Fenris lifted his chin to look at him. And then straightened his back and leaned over, thrusting his hand of cards into Hawke's line of vision. "How do I play this," he demanded, bluntly, and did not reel back even if his preservation instincts begged it of him. Wolf, wolf. Fenris. He refused to be easy prey any longer, even on the unimportant things.
Hawke leaned back, squinting at the cards. "Okay, hang on, hang on- hey, you've got a hell of a hand, Fenris! Oh, shit, I wasn't supposed to say that out loud. Okay, first rule, have a good poker face."
Varric did not quite manage to stifle his laughter, and Fenris glanced over at the dwarf. He met his gaze for a split second over the top of their cards and Fenris nodded, just ever so slightly. Varric did not respond, but his smile seemed to get ever more pleased.
"What are you two doing?!" Hawke asked. "What was the look? Varric! Did you really teach him to cheat?"
"If I taught him to cheat, you'd know it, Hawke."
"I suspect that if you taught me to cheat, the point would be for him to not know," Fenris remarked. He even smirked back at the dwarf - a motion that felt stiff and unpractised and... good.
"... I'm being swindled," Hawke said softly.
"What's that, Hawke?"
"I'm being swindled! You're ganging up on me to get my money!" he complained to Varric. "What a life!"
Indeed, Fenris thought. What a life indeed.
He waved his cards impatiently at the man sitting next to him. "Explain," he said determinedly, and paid careful attention when Hawke actually did.