Chapter Text
“Oh- Kanade, you got a Nightcord ping just now~”
In the midst of preparing ramen, said Kanade looked over her shoulder. “…Is it Mafuyu?”
Mizuki shrugged. “Lemme go check.”
They picked up her phone from the dining table where Mizuki sat. It’s been a long time since her and Kanade hung out alone, and Mafuyu was coming over later too.
Phone was unlocked. There was text and an image sent that Mizuki couldn’t preview from the lock screen, so of course, she tapped the notification.
“Okay, so it looks like she’s talking about the next song…”
Mizuki scrolled up, and her voice trailed off. “…uh..”
Kanade:
[“I’m surprised, Mafuyu, but good for you. I’ve never crushed on anyone.”]
Mafuyu:
[“I never thought I would.”]
Kanade eventually spoke up at Mizuki’s silence. “What about the song?”
“Oh- Uh- Right, that’s-“ They sputtered, quickly scrolling back down. “She got an idea during lunch break- and wanted to discuss it on Nightcord today. A song about understanding.”
“Ahh…” Kanade nodded. “Okay.”
As soon as she stopped facing them, Mizuki scrolled back up juust a little further. They couldn’t help it- those messages were right there for them to see, and-
Mizuki caught their name in the text.
Mafuyu:
[“Honestly, I’ve been thinking of Mizuki in another way…”]
Oh. Oh no.
Kanade:
[“Another way? You mean…?”]
Mizuki was not supposed to read this.
“All done.” Kanade held up a bowl of ramen and turned, just to see her friend looking like they’d seen a ghost. “Ah…?”
They nearly bumped their knee under the table with how fast they sat up, swiftly masking their expression. “Yeah? Should we go back to your room?”
Kanade tilted her head, but she didn’t mention anything. “Oh, okay.”
Did I just read that? Why? How…?
Mafuyu was close enough to know about the bad parts of Mizuki, too- The girl’s selfishness and tendency to withdrawal into herself. So why would she have feelings for them? It just… doesn’t make sense.
It doesn’t make sense, but now that Mizuki’s sitting in Kanade’s room, it’s the only thing occupying her mind.
There wasn’t really any change in Mafuyu’s demeanor lately- but then again, she can mask her feelings pretty well. There wasn’t anything Mizuki remembered doing to suddenly become so appealing… No, maybe it’s because of her promise to Mafuyu? “It’s okay to run away.” Words she said out of selfishness.
It’s a good thing Kanade is too busy composing to question how quiet I am right now…
“Welcome back, Mafuyu.” Kanade smiled as the other girl walked in through the doorway.
Mafuyu nodded politely, her eyes catching Mizuki’s for a moment. Mizuki took the chance to search, looking deep within the other’s gaze for a sign of something different.
She couldn’t tell.
The rest of the day went by in a flash. Mizuki spent her time laughing and talking with the others like usual… though with what she knew, she kept stealing glances at Mafuyu every now and then. Nothing. Mafuyu’s facade never cracked.
It’s only after Mizuki says goodbye and opens the front door, that she hears footsteps rushing downstairs.
..There was Mafuyu holding out a blue ribbon. “You took this out of your bag and left it. Here.”
The girl’s fingers brushed awkwardly as Mizuki reached out for the bow. They giggled it off. “Aw, thank you—“
But when she looked up, Mafuyu’s cheeks were reddened.
“You’re welcome.”
And then she quietly closed the door, leaving Mizuki to revel in her thoughts the entire way home.
The girl only made it about three blocks before she realized she was clutching the ribbon too hard in her palm. Was that… a small crack in the demeanor she was used to?
She tried to remember Mafuyu’s face again at the door— her rosy cheeks, the way her eyes darted down before she spoke up. There was something there, absolutely!!
…I’ve never even seen Mafuyu blush before.
Mizuki fidgeted at her desk well before Nightcord planned to call, with the blue ribbon gently set next to her computer.
She wanted nothing but more context. When did Mafuyu fall for her? Was Mizuki.. hoping for something like this all along? No, no—they were just… nosy. It was just curiosity, she lied to herself.
But even so, Mafuyu’s words haunted her mind. [“I’ve been thinking of Mizuki in another way…”]
Ahh, why can’t they both talk about this!! She should just ask, right? But how do you even do that without sounding insane? “Hey, I accidentally read your private conversation and now I’m spiraling because of it, lol.” She couldn’t lie that it was just suspicion- Mafuyu was so careful about hiding this.
She started typing out a message and deleted it. Then started again. Deleted.
Truth was, the idea of being the object of affection… scared her. Mizuki had always been the one with the crushes- the one who needed people more than they needed her… yet here, for once, someone else wanted her.
Enough to keep it hidden— to let it ache, instead of risk being rejected. That was kinda exciting and a little sickening. Mizuki felt like their mind was about to explode.
So she finally typed:
Mizuki:
[“hii!!”]
[“Are you busy? ^u^”]
They regretted it as soon as they hit send, but the reply came less than a minute later.
Mafuyu:
[“I’m not. Why do you ask?”]
The blinking cursor stared at her, daring Mizuki to respond. Maybe she could just pretend it was nothing. They could both keep their secrets- acting like there was nothing worth hiding.
…
Mizuki:
[“Mind if we call?”]
[“if you want! ahjhsjs”]
This time, the reply came after seconds.
Mafuyu:
[“Alright.”]
The sudden spike of adrenaline as Mizuki hit the call button almost made them laugh. It was just a call, she told herself, just a friend— even if she knew Mafuyu saw her as something more…
After only two rings her thoughts were interrupted by Mafuyu’s voice.
“Hello,” she said, the same tone as always. “Did something happen?”
“Eh, not really, just… wanted to call. Been thinking about your idea for the next song,” Mizuki lied, even as her own heart hammered.
Silence.
“My idea?” Mafuyu seemed confused. “I haven’t shared it yet. I was going to show it in our Nightcord call tonight.”
…ah.
“Sorry, sorry!” Mizuki panicked. “I must’ve meant- well-“
But Mafuyu thought to herself a bit more. “No, you were.. at Kanade’s place. Did she tell you about it when I messaged her?”
Mizuki nodded aggressively even though the other girl couldn’t see their face. “Yeah. Sorry.”
“It’s fine,” Mafuyu paused. “I’m glad you think it’s a good direction.”
There was a moment of silence and Mizuki internally beating themself up. “Do- Do you mind telling me more?” they hesitantly asked.
“…It’s difficult to explain,” Mafuyu started. “I wrote about someone. Not anyone in particular, but… the feeling of wanting to understand another person so deeply that you lose track of where you end and they begin.”
Huh.
“That feeling can hurt, though,” Mafuyu quietly continued. “You want to be close to others, but you’re also scared to step too far.”
Oh, tell me about it.
“I get it,” Mizuki laughed. “I mean, like, sometimes you’re scared of even having that connection, right?”
Mafuyu hummed. “You could say that. It’s strange, I think it might be considered.. selfish.”
“There’s nothing wrong with that,” they assured. “You’re allowed, I mean—if you keep hiding it, you’ll just end up hurting more. Right?”
What a hypocrite Mizuki is.
There was another pause before Mafuyu’s voice came out even softer. “Maybe you’re right.”
…
Something weighed in the atmosphere after leaving the conversation on that note. Mizuki laid back in their chair, stretching while staring at the ceiling.
There’s no doubting it, but it’s still hard to believe that Mafuyu really likes them.
She can still vividly recall the memory of Mafuyu’s blush, the ribbon still warm where she’d gripped it, her words…
Mizuki wondered if this happened to other people; walking through the world, not expecting to leave a mark, and then suddenly someone corners you with the possibility that you matter. That someone wanted your pain, your happiness, your everything- even if it hurt.
…Yeah, she might be looking forward to seeing the new song’s lyrics.
Mizuki let out a sigh, checking the time.. All of Nightcord will be meeting over call in a bit. Her heart still felt quite restless.
I wonder… could this be similar to the exhilaration Mafuyu feels with me?
…Who knows.