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“You smiled,” Endou stated matter-of-factly.
Gouenji paused. His hand abruptly stopped mid-movement, now awkwardly positioned above his lunch that he was about to eat. He stared idly at the other.
While he usually took long naps during lunchtime, lately, he found himself getting dragged outside by Endou. Somehow, he didn’t mind it as much as he thought he would — even if his company could be overbearing at times — perhaps it was nice to have someone fill in the silence. They were friends and classmates, after all. Truth be told, he couldn’t blame him for wanting to hang out.
Despite the loud chatter of other students and the chilly October air, Gouenji found himself enjoying the short hangouts more, although he felt slightly tired without his usual naps. Endou’s ramblings grew on him more than he’d like to admit.
Hearing his comment, he couldn’t help but be embarrassed. Being called out like that was something to be expected of his friend. If you asked Gouenji to describe Endou, a lot of adjectives would pop into his head. Determined, optimistic, brave, friendly, charismatic, lively, and most definitely, straightforward. He tried not to pay mind to the very positive view he had of him.
After a silent moment, he replied. Short and straight to the point. “Why does that matter?”
“Just an observation.”
Gouenji looked down at his lunchbox. While Endou casually ate his food, he didn’t share his peace. His words stuck with him. It was hard for him to comprehend what possibly caused him to smile so suddenly without any big occasion.
He was the exact opposite of Endou. It was more common to see him wear a more neutral (maybe even bored) expression. Maybe at first.
After he befriended Endou, it was like this boy had flipped his whole world upside down. He never met someone with such an incredible fighting spirit, someone so optimistic, so determined, and radiant. Someone that he wanted to fight with, to watch his back. Someone who gave him hope and a reason to keep fighting.
It was foolish, he thought. While Endou was certainly a good person, he was unbearable. He was a good guy; he meant good, but his obtrusive nature annoyed Gouenji to no end. Or at least he wholeheartedly hoped it did.
He wanted to feel angry, to look at him with the same irritation he looked at him with before he joined the soccer club. He wanted to bury all his growing feelings somewhere deep. It was unfair. The weird tingling sensation in his chest, his face burning up, his mind going back to him, it was all unfair.
Gouenji sighed softly. Maybe that’s just how Endou works on people. An annoying idiot who magically makes you feel flustered at his cheerful laugh, which makes you forget the annoying part. Or that’s just him.
Just as he took another bite of his food, Endou (to Gouenji’s displeasure) decided to speak up again.
“You shouldn’t hide your smile,” he started and took a big bite of his bread. “You’re pretty when you smile.”
Gouenji almost choked on his food.
It took him a moment to prompt his brain to remember how to breathe. He looked away in the most natural way he could, trying to avoid the tension he felt when looking in his friend’s direction. While he was used to sudden, unfiltered comments, nothing in this world could prepare him for the bombshell that was just dropped on his heart.
Another moment passed. The silence concerned even Endou, who lightly tilted his head to look at Gouenji, who at the moment was trying to regenerate.
“Eat your food,” he mumbled, “and don’t talk with your mouth full.”
Although he was acutely aware that no one was really paying them much mind, a visceral feeling washed over him, as if the entire world was watching him in that moment. Each student who strolled beside him stirred a sense of awareness, a reminder of the onlookers surrounding them who might witness this humiliating moment. A bright red painted his face.
He could almost feel the smile Endou had on his face right now. Just thinking about it made matters worse.
“Oh, ‘kay,” Endou replied and swallowed his bite. “What I meant to say was that you—”
“I—I know! I heard you!” he exclaimed, a bit too desperately and louder than he’d prefer. “I mean… I… never mind.”
Endou watched in curiosity and worry as Gouenji covered his face with his hands.
“Well, it’s true. At least in my opinion,” he dragged, “you’re handso—”
He got interrupted by Gouenji pushing his currant bun into his mouth, successfully shutting him up.