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Heavenly Smackdown

Summary:

After Castiel hears how Dean spent his 17th birthday burning the corpses of two ghost lesbian nuns, he decides to take his business up with John Winchester himself in Heaven with Bobby Singer at his side.

Notes:

Hello everyone!

I saw this post on reddit about Dean's 17th birthday in John Winchester's journal and decided to write what would happen if Cas found out.

I'm sorry if this isn't my usual writing, I was really pissed when writing this, so sorry if it's not my usual quality. Also, please forgive any spelling mistakes - I wrote the majority of this without glasses and your guy (gn) is blind as hell.

Enjoy!

Fueled by Five Finger Death Punch

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Walking into the bunker's kitchen, Cas was met with the sight of Jack and Dean talking. It wasn't an unusual sight, but it was an uncommon one. Dean had never taken to Jack too quickly, but they were warming up to each other.

"Good morning," Jack greeted happily, giving Cas a wave.

"Morning," Cas responded, giving Dean a nod, watching as he sipped his cup of coffee.

Sitting down at the table, Dean and Cas sat across from Jack. One was enjoying a steaming cup of black coffee, one a bowl of a new sugary cereal that Sam didn't know about, and Cas was just enjoying the company.

"Actually," Jack interrupted, setting down their meal. "I have something that I shared with Sam already, but I haven't gotten the chance to tell either of you yet."

"Okay kid," Dean waved him on, sipping his coffee. "Go ahead and share with the class."

"I have a crush on someone."

Dean nearly spat out his coffee at that notion as Cas just tilted his head, confused.

"Oh, um…" Dean began, clearing this throat. "Who is she?"

"He works at the grocery store," Jack responded, a smile on his face.

Dean went silent as Jack corrected the pronouns of his crush.

"Good for you, Jack," Cas answered, taking over for Dean. "Are you planning on telling him?"

Jack just nodded, not really sure if he wanted to tell him yet or not.

"Soon," he answered, finishing off his breakfast. "Well, I'll see you later," Jack stated, leaving the room to Cas and Dean.

Once Jack left, Dean remained silent, staring off into space, as if he was deeply contemplating what Jack had told them.

"Dean?" Cas asked. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine Cas," Dean answered, taking a moment to think before continuing. "So, we send him on a hunt right?"

"What?" Cas asked, not understanding Dean's train of thought.

"Send them on a hunt," Dean repeated. "I'm sure we can find him something similar to a pair of lesbian nuns to smoke out."

"Dean, what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about getting the queer out've them," Dean explained, setting his coffee down with a resounding thump. "You know, send 'em on a hunt, turn him straight."

"Why would we do that?" Cas asked, a little enraged by Dean's decision. "Why would we want to change them?"

"it's what my dad did to me," Dean answered like it was normal. "I told him I liked guys and for my 17th birthday, he sent me out to salt and burn 2 lesbian nuns who killed themselves. he spent the day with Sammy while I went on my first job."

The kitchen went eerily quiet as Cas processed what Dean told him.

"Your father, for your birthday, sent you on a hunt to burn 2 lesbians after you told him you liked guys?"

"Yeah, so… what do we want to do with Jack?"

"Not that!" Cas yelled. "That was deeply messed up, Dean. You shouldn't have had to do that, you are perfect the way you are."

"Is what it is," Dean shrugged in response. "If you don't want to make the kid do it, I'm fine with that."

"We're not," Cas declared, leaving no room for an argument. "Now," he stated, getting up from his seat and leaving the room. "If you'll excuse me, I have some business to attend to in Heaven."

~~~

Marching into Heaven, Castiel knocked on the door to Bobby Singer's room, watching at it slowly opened with a shotgun aimed at chest level.

"Fuckin' Christ, Cas," He swore, seeing who entered his room. "The hell are you doing here?"

"Did you know what John did to Dean for his 17th birthday? His first hunt?" Cas asked pointedly, his angel blade by his side. "Did you know?"

"I know that John sent him on a hunt for his 17th," Bobby responded. "Dean never talked about it and I didn't push, don't know what the hell he had that kid hunt."

"John had Dean salt and burn 2 lesbians after Dean told him that he liked guys," Cas said, letting Bobby soak in the information.

"Shit… I should've known that prick was gonna do that kinda thing," Bobby mumbled out, running his hand over his face. "Kid told me he liked guys, I didn't care as long as he was happy."

"Good," Cas responded. "I just wanted to know how many people I was going to have to beat up today. I'm happy you're not one of them."

"You goin' after John?" Bobby asked, to which Cas nodded. "Let me grab my bat, I'm comin' with you. You don't pull that shit on a kid."

~~~

Creeping through the stark white halls of Heaven, Bobby kept his baseball bat held tightly to his chest, ready to swing if needed.

Step by step, they moved slowly towards the door that read "John Winchester" on the front. Giving him a nod, Bobby watched as Cas kicked the door open, its slam ricocheting through the silent halls of Heaven.

"What the hell?" John spoke from his kitchen, as Mary walked out with a young Dean and an infant Sam. "Bobby?" He asked, spotting the man behind the angel. "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Setting things straight," he answered. "What you did to Dean, what you did to both those boys wasn't right. They were kids, they trusted you, and you were a washed up drunk," he continued, Cas letting him continue form the side. "You were never those boys' father, I was. And i heard what you did to Dean when he trusted you with an important piece of himself."

"Bobby, what are you talking about?" John asked, not sure as to why his paradise was being invaded.

"His 17th birthday, you remember?" Bobby responded. "That boy trusted you to love him and what'd he get? He got you making him kill 2 lesbians; you made your queer kid take out other queers like him."

"It was parenting!" John defended. "What else was I supposed to do?"

"You're supposed to love 'em!" Bobby yelled, getting in John's face. "You don't get to make a kid when you have 'em, you love 'em because they're yours! Because that's your kid, because that's what being a parent means!"

John gave him a scoff in response.

"What do you know about being a parent?" He asked snidely. "You never had kids."

"Those boys may not be mine by blood, but they're mine, got it?" Bobby asked, lifting up the bat. "And this is your comeuppance for hurtin' my boys," he concluded, lifting the bat and swinging it right into John's ribs.

One hit was enough for him, he decided as John fell to the ground. he may have hated John's parenting, but he still was someone he knew for so long.

"Yer turn, Cas," Bobby said, walking away and sitting on a bench. The scene had turned into a grassy field, one that Bobby remembered fondly - the one where John left and Dean kept asking to play at with Sam, one of the rare times the kids got to be kids.

Stepping in front of John, Cas easily lifted the man up with one arm, lifting the man to meet his eyes and pulling him close.

"You hurt Dean, the man closest to me in life," Cas whispered, threatening John. "Therefore, I hurt you."

Taking his other hand, Cas punched John across the face, letting his body fall limply to the ground before grabbing the bat from Bobby.

"Give him a bit of mercy, okay?" Bobby asked. "He's fucked up and hurt people, but you gotta remember, he's been through a lot. I'm not saying to leave him be, he's got hell to pay for sure, but… don't go overboard."

Thinking it over for a moment, Cas nodded. he knew how much John had been through, but that still didn't give him a right to treat Sam and Dean the way he did, Dean especially - his oldest could never compare to the Golden Child that Sam was in John's eyes.

Stepping over as John tried to get back up, holding his jaw, Cas brought the bat back down as Bobby watched form the sidelines.

Over and over, the bat met flesh as Cas grunted with effort. Each time, a sound rang out; one of pain and anger mixed with a catharsis, knowing that a lesson was being given.

"Alright Cas," Bobby called out, getting up and walking over after a few minutes. "He's had enough, he's got the message."

Stepping back, Cas watched as John laid on the ground, unmoving, while heavenly miracles healed him, all of the damage getting repaired in mere moments.

"Goodbye John," Bobby stated, leaving with Cas and letting John lay where he stayed.

They may have been friends at one point, but Bobby couldn't forgive him for what he did to his boys - stealing their childhood from them, forcing them to kill, forcing them to become monsters on some crusade and dragging them into the world of hunting. It was never supposed to be for kids; it's why they never were kids.

"I assume yer headin' back down?" Bobby asked as Cas led him back to his room.

"Yes, is there anything you want me to pass along?" Cas asked, opening the door to Bobby's room.

"Yeah," he said, nodding. "You tell those boys I'm real proud of 'em and that I miss 'em. I don't want to see 'em up here too soon though, alright?"

"Of course," Cas responded, shutting the door and heading back to Earth.

~~~

Hours had passed at this point and Dean was getting a bit anxious about where Cas was. Normally, when he left for "Heavenly business", it wasn't a good thing, so him being missing for hours was concerning to say the least.

"Hello Dean," a gravely voice spoke from behind him.

"Shit! Cas," he gasped out, turning to face the angel. "Where the hell hae you been? It's been hours, man."

"Sorry," Cas apologized. "I had to take care of something in Heaven. Bobby had a message for you and Sam as well."

"You saw Bobby?" Dean questioned. "What's he say?"

"He said that he's proud of you and Sam and that he misses you," Cas repeated the message. "He doesn't want to see you too soon though."

Dean gave out a little laugh hearing Bobby's message to them.

"Yeah, that sounds like him. How about a movie night tonight?" Dean offered.

Cas gave a nod in reply, happily knowing that his best friend was safe, that Cas wouldn't let anything harm him, even his past.

Notes:

I hope you enjoyed this short one-shot!

If so, please feel free to leave comments, kudos, or bookmarks. I really appreciate any interactions I get with you guys.

Thanks for reading!

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