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“Your…uhhh…chimney needs cleaning…”
…!!!...We did it?...he is…alive?...
…remember how it always was?…“I can’t have this…wait, can I?...oh my gosh, this is really great!...I want this…wait—I can’t have this!...So I won’t be so confused, I have to push it away…hard…I have to hurt him, so he won’t come back…because I don’t trust myself…”
…but now…
…I can have this!...and I want it, more than I can even express!...and I will express this inexpressible joy in front of the whole world, before everyone, especially my parents…I want it so much, that I will—by pressing my face and lips up against yours—perhaps be swallowed by you…or perhaps I will swallow you…we will disappear inside each other…
…and yet be right back here…whole…entire…two, but one, yet two…oh, Wade!…