Chapter Text
Tim was laying down in his bed, on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Sleep had not been coming easy to him lately. Not since Kon had come back. He laid awake thinking of the despair he had felt when he first lost him, the disbelief when he came back. It had been a few weeks since then, and he still could barely believe it. He was still terrified that Kon would be taken away from him again. He sighed and turned to lay on his side, grabbing a pillow and holding it close to him. When he first lost Kon it felt like a part of him was missing, like someone had reached into his chest and ripped his heart clean out.
Since he’d come back, Tim couldn’t stop looking at him, couldn’t stop thinking of him. He knew it wouldn’t happen, but part of him was still terrified that Kon would just disappear, and this time he wouldn’t come back. They had been hanging out a lot in the past few weeks. Trying to get back to a sense of normalcy. It was fun, Kon always was, and it was working, a bit. The disbelief had faded, Tim knew that Kon was with him now.
But Tim was conflicted. When he lost Kon, he was upset at himself for never telling Kon how he really felt. When he came back though, Tim knew that this was his chance. Kon deserved to know. But another part of him was terrified. What if he lost Kon right after he had gotten him back? Now that he knew what it felt like to lose him, he wasn’t sure he could live without Kon in his life.
Tim turned over to his other side. Kon was his best friend. That should be enough. They could just hang out, play video games, do everything together like normal. Nothing had to change just because of Tim’s stupid feelings. But where would that leave Tim? Just a loser hopelessly pining for his best friend? He had already been doing that for months before Kon died, and the thought of enduring it any longer made Tim shudder. His feelings had gotten so much stronger since Kon died, he had 99 failed clone attempts to prove it. He had to do something. Pining wasn’t an option anymore.
He felt hopeless. It seemed like no matter what he did he would just end up miserable. Tell Kon and risk losing their friendship, or not tell him and have to live with not knowing. Resigned, he turned back over and tried to finally fall asleep.
Over a week later, Tim still hadn’t figured out what he was going to do. He was on a run through the streets of Gotham trying to clear his head, though he hadn’t had much luck. He had been putting off doing anything about his feelings for Kon, and it was becoming too much for him. How was he supposed to act normal around Kon when he couldn’t stop thinking of him? He wanted to confess, but kept backing out whenever he had the chance. Lost in his thoughts, he ran right into someone, knocking them to the ground.
“Shit! Sorry,” he reached his hand down to help the person up. Looking down he recognized a familiar face.
“Tim?” Looking up at him from the sidewalk was his old friend from high school.
“Bernard? Holy shit man, long time no see,” he said, as Bernard took his hand to get up.
“Yeah man, I don’t think I’ve seen you since we graduated.”
“It’s been way too long, how have you been doing?”
After deciding to catch up, they found themselves at a nearby cafe. They ordered drinks, and after staying for some time, decided to order food too. Tim found that talking to Bernard was calming. After being surrounded by the hero community for so long, it was nice to talk to a civilian. He could talk about his life outside of being Red Robin. When he was with Bernard he could just be Timothy Drake-Wayne, a normal kid who didn’t have to worry about patrolling the streets of Gotham. He felt like he could finally escape from all of the worry and stress that had been plaguing him for so long.
“Y’know,” Bernard started, after a lull in the conversation. “I had the biggest crush on you in high school.”
Tim felt blood rush to his cheeks. “Really?”
“Yeah, I thought you were so cool. I was probably super obvious about it too.”
Tim chuckled. “I honestly had no idea.”
Bernard smiled at him. “If teenage me could see you now he wouldn’t believe it, you’ve grown up. You look really good.” He was smirking now.
Tim felt his blush deepen. “Thank you.” He wanted to say something more eloquent, but he was never really good at flirting.
“I probably have to go soon, it’s getting late,” Bernard said, looking out the window to the setting sun. “But I’d like to hang out again sometime, could I have your number?” He pulled out his phone.
Tim hesitated. He knew Bernard was flirting with him, and he did have a good time, but would it be fair to give Bernard his number when he was still hopelessly pining for Kon? Bernard was a nice guy, and Tim didn’t want to lead him on. On the other hand, he hadn’t thought of Kon at all while he was with Bernard, and he really did enjoy their time together. Maybe, if he didn’t have the guts to confess to Kon, he could get over him instead.
Smiling at Bernard, he took his phone and added himself as a contact. “We should hang out again soon.” He said.
Bernard grinned at him and got up to leave. “I’ll see you soon then.”
Tim watched him leave the cafe. He decided to stay and finish his tea, taking the time to think things over. He really liked Bernard, and he really thought they could be good together. He could finally get over Kon and have a real relationship, one with someone who actually liked him back. His chest feeling lighter than it had in a long time, he finished his tea and started getting home, to be there in time for patrol.