Work Text:
“In cat civilization no one chooses to jump for the meow”
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Wemmbu did you find the food
Me:
Yes
Theyre eating now
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Photos !!
Orbit nudges against his phone.
“Hello Orbital,” He greets, setting his phone down and raising his hand to pet her. She meows. “You have food, bro.”
Loppez’s cat (Snow. Stupid name. Then again so is Orbital Strike Canon.) meows very loudly from the kitchen, and sprints over.
“Hi,” He says, grunting when Snow jumps onto his chest. “Oh my god, you’re so fat.”
He readjusts his phone, and tries to take a picture. He’s lowkey chopped in it, but Egg and Loppezz have seen worse. And there’s two distracting kitties in the photo. They’ll save him.
Loppy ☃️☃️:
FSNSJSJS
HAHAHAH
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Brother what could possibly have made you so upset
Me:
Idk maybe the tow cats mblicking my phone dncren
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Licking ????
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
I think he meant blocking
Me:
[Photo of Orbit loafing in front of Wemmbu’s face. Snow is slightly blurred from movement, trying to step over Orbit.]
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Ohh
AWWWW they miss us 💔
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Snow lowkey may need to lock in
-
“You have food,” Wemmbu breathes, exasperated. Snow meows at him. He points at the food bowl. “It’s right there. Go eat.”
She just meows again. Orbit is watching this interaction from the arm of the couch, being zero help.
“Are you blind.” He stares, and gets up. Maybe she just doesn’t know where the food is. She was eating earlier but lord knows pets can be dumb.
She trots after him into the kitchen. Orbit hasn’t moved.
“Right here, cat,” Wemmbu says, pointing at the food. Snow stares at him with bright, clueless eyes.
“If you don’t want the food, what do you want?” He groans, burying his face in his hands. He has work to do. He agreed to babysit Loppezz’s and Egg’s cats under the assumption he could still get work done.
Snow rolls her tongue at him. He laughs, and lifts his head. She blinks.
“I’m gonna do my work, okay?” He doesn’t need her permission. She doesn’t even understand English. “Cool. Please don’t bother me.”
He walks into his room, noting Orbital still on the couch. At least one of them is chill. Of course it’s Egg’s cat.
Wemmbu pulls his chair out, and nearly trips over Snow.
“You–” He looks at the floor, and catches her jumping onto his chair. “Oh my god. You’re worse than Loppezz. My life genuinely sucks.”
Snow just watches him, tail swishing once. He leans over and picks her bigass up, hands under her belly. Are you supposed to hold cats like babies ?? Or like. Babies flipped onto their bellies?
They really should've gotten someone else to catsit.
“You’re the fattest animal ever,” He informs Snow, sitting down, then leaning over to put her on the ground.
She crouches back and wiggles like she’s going to jump again.
“No,” He tells her, and brings his chair against the desk. No room to jump. “I can– we can play later or something. I have to do this work right now.”
He leans forward, turning on his pc. Somethig. thuds on his left. He turns, and Snow starts walking towards him from the other part of his L-desk (which is proving to be a bad choice of shape).
“I don’t get peace,” He realizes, heart sinking. Not really. Kind of. This is agonizing. “Oh my god, I don’t get peace.”
Snow brushes her cheek against his face. He groans.
-
Me:
I put the food back in the bowl holder thing and a like pellet falls into the water EVERY TIME.
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Brother you gotta do the water first
Me:
OHHHHH
Loppy ☃️☃️:
CJKSKS Just read this
Wemmbu 😭😭
Me:
I have no idea why you guys decided to leave your cats wirh ME
I dont do pet stuff
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
We had no other options twin 🥀
Loppy ☃️☃️:
JELP
Well I trust you wemmbu !!
Me:
If you guys come back and im dead blame snow
Loppy ☃️☃️:
She woudl never
-
“Kittiessss!” Wemmbu calls, shaking the food bag. Snow sprints in from the living room. Orbital trots in after her. Their ears are up. Cats are interesting when not trying to murder you.
He scoops food into the food bowl, then picks the water bowl out of its holder. Orbit pushes Snow out of the way of the food, and starts crunching. She makes a funny face when she eats.
Snow, bodyblocked from food, watches him bring the water bowl to the sink. He watches her back as he dumps the water out, then looks at the bowl, shaking it to rinse it.
He pours the water he used for rinsing it out, and fills it. Do cats like cold water or hot water? They’re warmblooded, right? So cold?
He switches which foot he’s standing on.
The bowl fills, and he lowers it. Orbit moves to block both bowls. Snow just waits, the end of her tail twitching.
“Be nice,” Wemmbu chides, and drags Orbit’s backside away from the water bowl. Snow still doesn’t move to drink.
“You guys just don’t like anything I do.”
-
“Stop sleeping on my keyboard,” Wemmbu glares, setting his bag down on the floor by his desk. Snow slightly rolls over.
He steps forward and puts his hand on her cheek, scratching it. She closes her eyes and leans into it.
A sense of awe fills him because oh wow. Wow she really just trusts him. Easily. Like it’s easy.
“You’re cute,” He smiles, and hunches over. “You think you’re so cute.”
Snow meows. She very much does.
-
Orbital jumps onto his desk. Snow has taught her horrible tricks.
She walks in front of his monitor, watching him.
“I hate you,” He glares. Orbital stares at him with clueless eyes. It’s cute. It’s also very annoying. “Move.”
She starts walking towards his hand once he lifts it, but he grabs her belly, and lifts her into the air and onto the ground. She lets out a meow when she hits the ground.
-
Me:
Bro cat litter is dugustign
Loppy ☃️☃️:
It is ):
I use my shirt as a mask. And tie my hair up
Me:
I should’ve tied my hair up it kept falling in my face
Loppy ☃️☃️:
🙏
Make sure to take the trash bag to tohe trashcan outside
Me:
I did
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Oh yeah it sucks
Bro knows the struggle now
Loppy ☃️☃️:
EHEHE
Me:
Wgg this is why can never move in together
Youd make me do the cst litter
Loppy ☃️☃️:
🫢🫢
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
We could do it together trust
Me:
It’s one litterbox
Youd get in my way
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
So you just do it on your own lowkey…
Loppy ☃️☃️:
HEHEH
Hes right wemmbu you should do our cat litters
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Who said ours..
Loppy ☃️☃️:
!!! HEY
Me:
I’m making you guys get a petsitter next time
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Youre the petsitter bro
Me:
A REAL ONE
-
Orbital sprints into the kitchen, and jumps onto the counter. Wemmbu groans.
“Orbie, it’s eight am,” He breathes. She leaps off the counter so suddenly that a random packet he got from his boss falls. “I have to go to work.”
Across the apartment, in the living room, she jumps onto the couch. When he peeks over, Snow is stretching.
He sighs, and goes back to the fridge, grabbing creamer, and the soup he made last night. Orbital hits something else at high speeds. How on earth does she have so much energy.
He pours his coffee into a carriable cup, adds a fair amount of creamer, and takes a sip. Cool.
Wemmbu opens their groupchat, ignoring his usual dm from Loppezz saying good morning. He’ll get to that later. More pressing matters right now.
Me:
How the hell do i stop orbitaml gromr runing aroudn
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Oh nooo
You have work today right
Me:
Yes
Loppy ☃️☃️:
She just needs more playtime and stuff
Toys
Use the toys we left you later today
For now tho just ignore. Youll slay at work trust
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Slay 🔪
Me:
Gm egg
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Lol hi egg
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Im muting my phoen
Its so early
Me:
Why is your phone not on sleep mode
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
What if these rwas an emergency
Me:
Good point
Okay. How do I stop oebit from breaking the apartment rn
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Right now you just let her
Me:
I hate you
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Are you never catsitting for us again
-
He takes an extra blanket from the closet and puts it on his desk. Surely that is cozier than Snow sleeping on his keyboard. Especially while he's typing.
Orbit curls up on his chest when he lays down. When he wakes up she’s on the blanket, and Snow is still on his keyboard.
He’s gonna crash out.
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Nah the desk is hers now
Loppy ☃️☃️:
👆
-
Loppezz gave him a bag of the cats’ favorite toys and items. There is a string tied around a stick. Like an actual stick, from Outside. Hit game Outside.
The cats go crazy for it. It enthralls them for at least ten minutes. Which is the most they've ever focused on something he does.
He makes them do twirls in the air, spin in circles on the ground, do zigzags, and various other tricks. It’s actually adorable. But he cannot ever tell them that. They don’t understand English, but he suspects somehow they would be smug.
Then Snow bites him(gently) and he jerks back.
Can’t have nice things.
-
Me:
Egg is this why you always wear dark clothes
Loppy ☃️☃️:
HAHAH
Did orb get fur all over your fancy white clothes 😢😢
Me:
YES
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Loppezz has a special tape roller thing to get the fur off
Im too lazy for that
Me:
Loppez my best friebd where are your house keys
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Buy your own
Me:
IM BABYDITTING YOUR CAT FOR FREE
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Wait trueeee
I have a spare in eggs apartment in cas ehe forget something
Me:
Well I know where eggs keys are lmao
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Yo why am I catching strays 😭
Me:
Brother you are the one who told me where they are
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Wait i did
Me:
Oml…
Yes bro
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
🥀
-
Wemmbu is exhausted. He wants to die. Work is the worst. Retail work is horrible actually. From the devil.
The cats follow him into his room. He drops his bag onto the floor, making sure they're out of the way, and collapses onto his bed.
Hhhhhh.
Egg and Loppezz are lucky they’re on trips for their jobs. Wemmbu has to tell people that no ma’am that isn’t rotten. Avocados are green inside. No that isn’t mold. I’m sorry you think that. You will have to pay for that though, seeing as you opened it. Yes it’s very sad. Sure it’s my fault. Please pay for that.
There’s a paw on his back. Too light to be Snow. He stays carefully still so he doesn’t scare Orbit off.
She crawls all the way onto him. Wemmbu relaxes, even though his face is pressed into the pillow.
Hi Orbit, he thinks, too tired to voice it. She’s cute.
He rests in the quiet comfort of fluffy contact. Huh. Maybe he needs to move in with Egg.
The weight of something living on him is grounding. He shifts to lay on his side, and when she doesn’t run or move other than to adjust, he lays on his back, and moves her to his belly.
Hi, he thinks again, staring into her green eyes.
She slow blinks at him. He slow blinks back. The feeling of Friend. Safe. must pass through species.
(After a few minutes, Snow joins them, and curls up on his arm. He just laughs softly.)
-
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Almost home !!
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
I think hes driving home rn
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Maybe we’ll meet at the door
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Thatd be awkward
Me:
Oh thank god
And i just got home
Egg lowkey weird you know my schedule
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Bro i like live with you
Me:
Creep….
Loppy ☃️☃️:
Like ten mins out
Eggyyyy 💖💖💖🥺🥺:
Stop texting at red lights twin
Loppy ☃️☃️:
🤣no
-
There’s a knock on his door. Loppezz.
He gets up to unlock the door, Snow right on his heels, trying to trip him.
“Wemmbuuu!!” She greets when he opens it, beaming. He relaxes, and smiles. Wow, he didn’t realize how much he missed her. Oh man. Okay.
“Hi Loppez,” He greets, stepping aside to let her in. Snow instantly meows loudly.
Instead of hugging her cat, Loppezz leans forward and hugs him.
He stands uselessly for a second, then hugs her back, gripping the back of her shirt. They take each other in for a couple seconds.
“I missed you,” He admits quietly. She shakes with gentle laughter.
“I missed you too,” She responds, pulling back. He shuts the door and nudges Snow away. Now Orbital’s on the floor with her.
Loppezz crouches down and grabs Snow’s face. Wemmbu steps away to lean on the couch. Orbit presses against Loppezz’s side.
“Hellooo ladies,” She grins, using one hand to pet Orbit. “Hello. How are we? Did Wemmbu take good care of you, girls? Ohh, did he? Did he?” She puts on a stronger baby voice the harder Snow leans into her hand. “I’m back! Hello! Beautiful kitties.”
“Caused me so much grief,” Wemmbu fake complains. He can’t make himself hide the smile on his face. Loppezz looks up at him, eyes bright. “It’s crazy I didn’t get fired.”
“I think Orbit would try and get you fired,” Loppezz agrees, looking back at Orbital. “Wouldn’t you?”
Wemmbu laughs.
-
Egg doesn’t knock. He just opens Wemmbu’s door.
“Oh, Egg,” Loppezz grins, and waves. Egg stares at her. Wemmbu chooses now to remember Egg doesn’t like long drives. Ah. He’s probably very tired then.
“Yoo,” Wemmbu gets up, and gets a good view of Orbital trying to climb Egg’s pant leg.
Egg leans over and grabs her, detaching her claws. He holds her like a toddler, not a baby, one arm supporting her feet, the other stabilizing her against his chest. She presses up, trying to nuzzle his chin.
“Hey,” Egg greets, turning and closing the door with his shoe.
“You hungry? Wemmbu made food.” Loppezz offers from the couch. Egg blinks.
“I don’t know if I’m hungry enough for his cooking…” Egg says. His voice sounds more exhausted than usual. Not emotionless, but tired. They need to get this guy some sleep.
“Uh, I make the best food?” Wemmbu argues. Egg kisses Orbital on the head. She nuzzles his cheek in return. Snow is doing figure eights around his ankles. “It’s pasta. No meat because the cats would eat it all.”
Loppezz laughs, and Egg cracks a smile. Win.
“W friend,” Egg says, and sets Orbit down. She brushes his legs.
-
“You guys are staying the night, right?” Wemmbu asks, pointing the remote at the tv. There's a quiet beat, then Loppezz speaks.
“Yes we are,” She declares. “And we’re watching Song of the Sea.”
“We always watch that,” Wemmbu groans, going to the search bar. Loppezz laughs, and leans her head back. It brightens his chest.
“What’s that other one– the one like The Halloween Before Christmas?” Egg asks, staring Orbital down. Wemmbu looks over at him.
“You mean The Nightmare Before Christmas?” He raises an eyebrow. Egg looks up.
“Sure. There’s one like it. In the same style. About this lady with blue hair who’s dead.” Egg offers. Wemmbu looks at Loppezz.
“Uhh,” She starts, thinking. “Oh! The Corpse Bride. Should we watch that?”
“We could also just watch a normal movie like– like Captain America or something.” Wemmbu offers, knowing it will get shot down.
“No way,” Egg shakes his head, and bumps Wemmbu.
“Owww,” Wemmbu whines. It did nothing, but it’s the sentiment.
“You’re fine,” Loppezz waves off, and then grabs the remote. He makes another noise of protest. “We’re watching The Corpse Bride.”
“Wait,” Egg stops, and they both look at him. “Shouldn’t we like, get blankets? And pillows?”
“Oh wait, you’re riiiightt,” Wemmbu agrees, and sits up. Neither of them get up. “Oh my god. You’re gonna have to move anyway so I can put the blankets down.”
Loppezz groans, but they both move their cats off of themselves.
“Blankets are over here,” Wemmbu says, opening the closet.
“This dude has a linen closet,” Egg teases. Wemmbu hands a blanket to him aggressively.
“This dude knows what ‘linen closet’ means,” Wemmbu mocks, grabbing the other two blankets and turning to Loppezz. She takes one.
“Brother that is a common word,” Egg argues. Wemmbu decides to ignore that, and starts back toward the couch.
They get set up, Orbit and Snow trying repeatedly to trip and kill them. Egg sits on the left side of the couch, Wemmbu in the middle, and Loppez on his right. Once the blankets are all situated, Wemmbu puts his arms on the back of the couch.
Loppezz starts the movie, and Snow squeezes her body between Loppezz and Wemmbu.
Orbit curls up on Egg’s lap, way less stupid than her friend.
By the time Emily and the dead are planning to kill Victor, Egg has entirely passed out. He’s half leaning on Wemmbu, and half on the back of the couch. Orbit is asleep in his lap, and Wemmbu has an arm over his shoulder.
Wemmbu and Loppezz turn on Song of the Sea when the Corpse Bride ends. She’s asleep by the scene with the trolls in the city, back against Wemmbu’s side, not facing the tv. Snow has changed to sit on her legs.
Hm. He should probably sleep too.
Shiersa’s song is playing, and his friends are asleep on his side, and there’s two very soft cats with them. His eyes close.
He’s just glad the cats aren’t his problem anymore. And that his friends are back.
…mostly that his friends are back.