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Chapter Text

Gaara did not publicly ever admit to the reason as to why he retired as the Kazekage at the end of the Fourth Shinobi War. It was almost too embarrassing to say - but he'd done it to be with Naruto. There was no other reason (well, apart from how the council had blocked every single attempt at reform he'd initiated, turning him into little more than a figurehead, but that sounded less romantic). He'd handed the reigns of power over to Temari, flicked Kankurou upside the head, and made his way towards the blond who had always felt more like home than anywhere else in the world.

It was such a shame that Naruto was oblivious.

"Morning Gaara!" chirped said oblivious blond, sitting at the kitchen bench. The blond had all too easily let Gaara move into his new apartment, taking up the spare bedroom and filling it with all seven of his personal belongings. The living arrangement came with only three stipulations on Naruto's end: Gaara had to cook, Gaara had to clean up after himself, and Gaara needed to not leave sand everywhere.

Gaara hadn't quite understood that last one until it properly sunk in that such a thing was actually possible in Konoha, where there wasn't sand coating every nook and cranny, making it nigh impossible to get rid of. The citizens of Suna were used to the crunch of sand in every aspect of their lives; but Konoha was free of the stuff. Heck, they saw it as an irritant!

"Good morning Naruto, I suppose you are after breakfast."
"Yep!" Gaara tried not to roll his eyes at Naruto's characteristic blunt cheerfulness. The blond never really did understand subtlety.

Gaara got to work, making a simple breakfast of fish and rice, with the traditional side dishes. It took more time than some liked to put into their breakfast (he'd spotted Kakashi knocking back a black coffee in ten seconds flat multiple times in lieu of the first meal of the day, a habit Shikamaru seemed to be picking up at an alarming rate), but it was what the people of Konoha ate for their breakfast, and Gaara wanted to impress.

As Naruto picked up his chopsticks and chirped out a thanks for the meal, Gaara reflected on his own plate of food.

Of all the things to eat, fish? At breakfast? The entire dish was completely foreign to the redhead, who had spent his entire youth in the deserts of Suna. He was used to breakfasts like Shakshouka, with poached eggs, local produce and plenty of the spices that grew in abundance in the oases that dotted the country. In contrast, the breakfast the Konoha enjoyed most was - to Gaara - quite bland. The only spice they used was salt! And the produce they used included seaweed and fish - two ingredients completely foreign to the desert.

But this was Naruto's culture, and Gaara would persevere in proving he was the perfect partner for Naruto, through his cooking if nothing else.

"That was really good, Gaara! Not as good as ramen, but still!" Gaara allowed a small snort as a response, trying not to sigh at the realisation that Naruto was prodding him to make ramen for dinner.

"I will make ramen for dinner," he said instead, turning to clean up as Naruto cheered.

Gaara didn't quite understand ramen either, it too being a dish completely foreign to the desert, but Naruto loved it, so he had learnt. Always for Naruto.

It was just so hard! If it was just a difference in food, Gaara would have been fine - but the culture in Konoha was so different from Suna!

For one thing, people liked to stand around in the sun and gossip! When he went out to get vegetables from the market, the vendor rambled on and on and on, as did the old lady selling clothing, as did the young baker, as did everyone! Even Kakashi, when Gaara ran into the Hokage, stopped and chatted at him for nearly seven minutes while hiding from his advisors. Gaara felt more than a little drained.

In Suna, vendors had their stores indoors, and people kept out of the sun as much as they could, as opposed to the lunacy that was the people of Konoha sitting out in it and talking at each other. Did they not fear sunstroke?

Weirder yet, some of the citizens of Konoha went outside specifically to wander about in the sun! They went jogging along the riverbank, or had picnics, or 'sunbathed'. Even the ninja ran along the rooftops to get to their destinations.

"Does Konoha not have underground boulevards for this?" mused Gaara to himself as he watched Kakashi get chased away by his advisors. Suna had huge underground caverns hollowed out specifically for the people to use during the hottest parts of the day, if they weren't at home napping.

And there was another thing! Konoha shops shut so early, but stayed open all day. Gaara sat down in a cafe, and stared at the little sign with the opening hours.
"They open early, that's normal," he muttered, peering at the sign and tilting his head, as though a new angle would magically explain the hours. "But then they're just… open. Until only three?" A young waitress bounced over, heard Gaara muttering, and stopped short, looking very confused.
"Sir, would you like to order?" she asked.

Gaara did not jump. He was a trained ninja, and had more experience under his belt than almost any other ninja his age for that matter.
"One cup of black tea and a knafeh, please."

The waitress blinked at Gaara owlishly.

"A… what?"

"A knafeh… uh… kunafa?" The waitress just stared. Gaara grimaced.
"A black tea then, and… baklava?"
"We… don't serve baklava, or black tea," the waitress replied hesitantly. Gaara bit down his grumbles, scanned the menu, and ordered a coffee and some biscuits instead.

And even the coffee was wrong! They hadn't treated the - imported from Suna - coffee beans right at all! They were burnt, practically charred! Still, Gaara did not complain. This was just another cultural difference; a lack of understanding of what made good coffee. An overabundance of syrups and sweeteners did not mask the bitterness of burnt coffee, no matter what the people of Konoha thought. Still, he was curious about the opening hours.

"Excuse me," he said, flagging down the waitress politely.
"How can I help?"
"I was wondering why you close so early - don't you have a break in the middle of the day?" Gaara asked, hoping for a sensible answer.

All he got instead was the kind of look most commonly found on a startled giraffe.
"Why would we close later?" quizzed the waitress. "And why would we break in the middle of the day? People don't drink coffee in the evening! They'd be too jittery!"

Gaara chewed on that answer, paid for his subpar drink, and went back to the apartment. He pulled out the groceries, stared at them for a long minute, then sighed.

"What a weird place this is," he muttered to himself, and got to packing everything away. He would check over the documents the Hokage flagged for him later - his new job as the ambassador did not end purely because he could not acclimatise to the society of Konoha as well as he thought he would.

He wouldn't go back though. Naruto was here, and Gaara's world was centered on the blond who shone like the sun.

If only said sun would stop being so weird.

"We're going out drinking!"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Drinking! With alcohol!"
"Naruto, I do not drink."

Naruto was uncomprehending. Hadn't the blond wanted ramen for dinner? Gaara had gone to all the trouble of preparing the ingredients for nothing??

"As in, cause of Shukaku, right? Well he's not in your head anymore, ya know?"
"No, Naruto - it is a cultural thing. The people of Suna in general do not drink." Naruto continued to be obtuse.
"That's weird - come on, it'll be fun! You have to come, pleaaaaase!"

Gaara never could say no to Naruto.

He could regret it though, which is what happened almost instantly, as Kiba, Rock Lee, Sakura and just about everyone else in the 'Konoha Twelve' dragged him with them across the city to a large, rowdy bar.

"We're gonna party tonight!" grinned Kiba. Gaara wondered if he could worm his way out of the whole thing by faking illness. He really did not want to drink - in Suna, they drank rarely and sparsely, due to the dangers involved in being intoxicated in a desert.

Supposedly, Gaara's great grand uncle, brother of the second Kazekage, had died after trying to drunkenly swim under a dune, which had collapsed on top of him. The Second Kazekage had since then banned drinking outside of the home, and his family had never touched the bottle.

Until now, apparently.

"Go on! Have some sake with us!" cheered Naruto, handing Gaara the little cup. Gaara tried not to grimace at the smell - to him, it smelt a lot like floor cleaner. Everyone else had downed their first shot, and he didn't want to embarrass Naruto…

Gaara took the shot, and instantly gagged, trying not to choke.

"That is disgusting," he wheezed, his sand grasping the handle of the water jug for him. "Why would you drink this?"
"For fun!" cheered Naruto.

Gaara did not feel fully in control of himself, agreeing to the next two shots before slumping over in the booth, his cheeks flushed.
"What… is this…" he wondered aloud, his head spinning. Literally - he was moving his head in little circles, trying to see straight. Kiba tried to fill his drink again; Naruto slid a hand in front of the glass.
"I think Gaara's had enough," he said, watching his friend out of the corner of his eye. Gaara barely noticed - he was far too interested in how someone a couple booths over looked just close enough to Naruto to be hot. If the real Naruto wasn't interested - and he surely wasn't, it had been months…

"I'm sorry, what?!" squeaked Naruto. Gaara didn't care, Naruto could squeak all he liked, it was probably another weird, stupid Konoha cultural thing. The city was full of those…

Gaara found himself in the air, flung over Naruto's shoulder. Sai was laughing so hard he had fallen out of his chair - although Gaara did wonder if he could convince Naruto to wear a crop top like that… why was everyone laughing? Did he miss a joke?

"No, you're good," Naruto said, lugging the former Kazekage out of the bar and quickly leaping up to the roofs.

"I… don't get your city," Gaara murmured. "It's so different to Suna. I'm only here for you - and even that doesn't seem to work. I don't get it at all…"

Naruto moved even faster at that, just fast enough to make Gaara feel a little nauseous, but not quite enough to make him want to throw up.

That was the last fully coherent thought Gaara had that night.

** ** **

The room was playing a drum solo. That was the only possible explanation as to why Gaara's head felt like it was about to explode. Had Shukaku snuck back in while Gaara was asleep? No, that was impossible.

Oh, wait.

Gaara had been dragged out drinking.

The redhead was going to maim Naruto.

There was a gentle knock at the door. Gaara groaned lowly, but apparently loud enough for whoever was smashing their fist into the wood to think he had assented to them entering.

Naruto shuffled in, looking very nervous. His cheeks were flushed - ah, he'd been drinking too - and he was holding something.
"Take one of these and drink some water," he offered. "It'll help you feel better." He handed over the tablet and the glass, then vanished.

Gaara just sighed, and swallowed the tablet dry. He had said something idiotic, hadn't he? The Second Kazekage had been right to ban alcohol, it was truly evil. At least the tablet and the water helped Gaara feel a little less like death warmed over - and Gaara knew what death warmed over felt like.

Slowly - ever so slowly - Gaara levered himself out of bed, and pulled on some new clothes. He padded slowly to the door, mentally preparing for Naruto's sunshine to be turned on him as he whined about breakfast and assaulted Gaara's already sore eyes.

Instead, Naruto was standing at the stove.

"Step back, and put down the spatula," Gaara said, slowly approaching.
"I can cook, dattebayo!" spluttered Naruto, who was wearing… oh. A croptop.

And he was cooking Shakshouka. Naruto, of all people, was cooking Shakshouka.
"I… what… how?"
"I had to find another Suna citizen who would share the recipe with me," Naruto admitted, "but I did it! Though the eggs mightn't be perfect. But I did my best, dattebayo!"
"Naruto, you're nervous."

Naruto gulped.

"I'm totally not, dattebayo!"
"There - you are! You only say dattebayo when you're overconfident or you're nervous. What is going on?"
"I… last night, you confessed you had feelings for me."

Oh.

Naruto lunged and grabbed Gaara before the redhead could leap out the window and hightail it back to Suna.

"You are not getting out of this! You confessed to a lot of things last night, Gaara - and it's about time we talked about them!"

Gaara went limp in Naruto's arms, resignation overtaking him. So this was it, huh? Naruto would tell him he was actually in love with some random girl and let him down, and Gaara would have to leave Konoha, because as much as he loved basking in the sun that was Naruto, he could not survive watching Naruto love another, even if he would do nothing to stop them.

Maybe Kumogakure would be alright?

"Please, Gaara - have breakfast with me?" tried Naruto.

Gaara never could say no to the man who had saved him.

"It's really nice, thank you Naruto," Gaara said, scooping some of the tomato and egg onto a slice of bread. Naruto beamed.
"Thanks! I worked really hard on it! Now - let's talk. You said you didn't understand the culture here, right?"
"I… have trouble with it, yes," admitted Gaara quietly, shrinking in on himself. Why did Naruto always have to be so blunt?! "In Suna, we do not eat fish, or run around outside have idle conversations or close all our stores so early, or drink. And in Konoha you do not have lots of sand, and you run on the roofs of buildings and everyone has such huge windows as if the sun won't stream in and burn you."
"But you're here anyway… why?"

Gaara looked down at his thumbs. He did not quite want to answer that question.

"I already know, Gaara - I just want to hear you say it." Right, he'd blurted it out while drunk.
"I like you, Naruto. A lot. More than anything else. You are my sunshine, my reason for being here. I love being by your side, I love your cheer, your smile, your ramen addiction and how much you care for everyone. I love your brightness, and how loud you can be, and how you can be blunt even though you don't mean too… I love you."

Gaara wondered if that was the most he had ever spoken in one go. It felt like it.

Naruto went as red as Gaara's hair. He stepped around the counter. Gaara braced for the rebuff… and got a kiss. A peck on the lips, short and sweet but still a kiss and from Naruto!
"I like you too, Gaara. A lot. And you've had to deal with some many changes for me, so it's only fair I do my best for you too. Believe it."
"Really?"

Naruto smiled softly, and leaned in to kiss Gaara again, slower and more languidly, as if to reinforce the feelings he had spoken aloud, as if to promise Gaara that he meant it, that this was real.

"Yes, really. Believe it."

Gaara tried very hard not to squeal in pure joy. There was just one more thing…
"Why are you wearing a crop top?" Naruto blushed somehow even redder, and looked down at his feet while his blush climbed high up his ears.
"You don't remember?"
"Remember what?"
"You said you wanted to see me in a crop top like Sai in front of everyone…"

Naruto had to lunge after Gaara again to keep him from fleeing all the way to Kumo.

Chapter Text

Shinki and Boruto were two absolute handfuls, Naruto was certain of it. They fed off each other's energy, Boruto bringing out the child in Shinki and Shinki bringing out the evil genius in Boruto. Still, at least the oppressive heat of Suna in the summer kept them from going too insane. The two were, however, bored out of their minds, trapped indoors during the boiling summer heat with nothing to do. That was the pain of having four-year olds - one who was wise beyond his years due the harshness of his life before being adopted and one who was a little brat.

"Dadddddd," whined Boruto, flopping into Naruto's lap, "I wanna story!"
"It would be nice," agreed Shinki, sounding polite but looking just as impish as his bothersome brother.
"Boys," groaned Gaara, stepping into the room with baby Himawari in his arms. "You know Naruto is exhausted - he spent all day keeping you entertained."
"But how are we meant to go to bed without a story?" quizzed Shinki. Boruto grinnned.
"Yeah! It's impossible, dattebasa!"

Gaara groaned softly, and rocked Himawari gently from side to side. At least she was a good little girl, mostly because she was a baby, yet to even turn two.

Shinki had been such a polite boy before Naruto arrived with his special brand of chaos too. At least he was happier now.

"I guess I have to," sighed Naruto theatrically, winking at Gaara. "Now… let's see… Oh I know! I have the perfect story - but you have to be in bed to listen to it!" With that, Naruto expertly corralled the two through the bedtime routine, getting them to brush their teeth and change into their pyjamas before finally settling in their beds. Naruto sat in one chair, while Gaara - holding Himawari - sat on the end of Shinki's bed.

"Where oh where to begin…" mused Naruto. "How about… with two lovely people, who live together peacefully on a farm."
"That's boring!" sniffed Boruto.
"It's just the beginning," promised Naruto with a grin. "All stories have to begin somewhere, right?"
"Yeah, but why on a farm?"
"Farmers are nothing like ninja," agreed Shinki. "Why do you not tell us about the fights you were in?"
"Because this is a bedtime story," Gaara interjected, "and stories about fights we were in are not for bedtime."

The two young boys pouted, but subsided and let Naruto begin again.

"There were two people who lived on a farm: a handsome prince with bright red hair, and his loyal farmhand… Jaruto."
"Jaruto? Seriously?"
"Shush Gaara! I'm telling the story, not you! So, Jaruto worked very hard, and did whatever the pushy prince asked, always saying 'as you wish'. When the prince wanted tea, Jaruto would make it. When the prince needed firewood, Jaruto would chop it, saying 'as you wish' every time like a cuckoo clock."
"Like a cuckoo clock. Really?"
"Gaara! My story! ANYWAY, they lived together for many years, until finally the red haired prince was called back to his kingdom, and Jaruto - with nothing better to do - decided to set out and make his fortunes."

"So when does Jaruto fight the prince for being so mean and demanding things of him?" asked Shinki, looking excited. Naruto blinked, and looked between the two boys, who looked practically thrilled at the idea of Jaruto beating up the prince.
"Uhh… he doesn't? Jaruto liked doing the jobs the prince asked of him!"
"Oh, wow. How royalist of him," sniffed Shinki.
"You are literally next in line to the Kazekage position," reminded Gaara. "You're a prince."
"Yes, but I am not a bratty one like this red-haired dude!"

Naruto snorted softly.
"Alright, alright - you're not bratty at all. So Jaruto set out to seek his fortunes, while the prince went to a castle very, very far away. His father was waiting for him, and he was all mean and grouchy with eyebrows that looked like a V!
'I have let you have your fun long enough,' the mean and grouchy king said. 'Now you must marry a prince and bring peace.' And he revealed the red haired prince's new fiancé: the evil Snake Boy Prince, who was slimy and hated babies. And also really creepy cause he liked to shed his skin on the floor."

"Naruto, are you talking about Kab—"
"It's a Kid's Story!" grinned Naruto, steamrolling past Gaara's question. "Now, Snake Boy Prince was icky, so the red haired prince instead dreamed of Jaruto, who had been strong and good looking with an amazing jaw line—"
"Now you're just fishing for compliments," grunted Gaara.
"Am not!"
"Are too."
"Well, for that, maybe I will marry the red haired prince to the icky Snake Boy Prince!" The two boys giggled at the bickering, pulling their blankets up their teeny tiny chins. Naruto resisted the urge to kiss his son's forehead, feeling the loss of his wife just a little deeper for a moment. Sometimes, Boruto really did look like Hinata, if only for just a moment.

"But Jaruto was busy. He became a knight, and rode around between castles!"
"Rode on what?"
"An ostrich!"
"Naruto, have you ever seen an ostrich?"
"Yeah! It was wearing three bowties, and had really big feet." Gaara just stared, bemused, at the blond.
"An ostrich… wearing bowties. Right… and could you ride the ostrich?" Naruto paused, and began whistling innocently.
"Well… no - but Jaruto was pretending! He was actually being followed by DogMan and the Big Bug, who were banging coconuts together to sound like an ostrich!"

Had Gaara not been holding Himawari, he would have facepalmed.
"How do coconuts sound like an ostrich?"
"They just do!"
"And where did they get coconuts? They're a tropical fruit; you can't find coconuts in the Land of Fire or the Land of Sand!"
"They found them!"
"In the Land of Fire or the Land of Sand? The coconut's tropical!"
"What do you mean?"

Naruto really did look like he wasn't quite comprehending the fact that coconuts were not found in either land.

"Those are temperate and desert countries!"
"The swallow may fly south with the sun, or eagles may seek warmer climates in winter," grinned Naruto, thinking he was being smart.
"Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?!" spluttered Gaara. The kids began howling with laughter. Naruto blushed.

"Not at all - they could be carried, dattebayo!"
"By what? A swallow carrying a coconut?"
"It could grip it - swallows have talon-things, dattebayo!"
"It's not a question of grip?! Naruto, have you ever seen a coconut? They're huge!"
"It could be carried by a Land of Clouds swallow," huffed Naruto petulently.
"Well, maybe," admitted Gaara. "But not a Land of Fire Swallow. Besides, Land of Clouds swallows don't migrate."
"Oh… yeah… Still! He's riding an ostrich using a coconut to make the sound of its feet."
"That doesn't even make sense, Naruto!"

The two were interrupted by a slow snore. They turned, and saw Shinki and Boruto laying against the pillows, having laughed themselves to sleep. The two adults quietly slipped from the room.

Gaara tucked Himawari into her cot, then made his way back to the living room, where Naruto was quietly folding the childrens' clothes.
"Sometimes, they really do look like her," he murmured softly. "I forget, when I'm busy helping you. But they do. I can't believe it's almost been two years since… well…"
"Healing isn't a linear path," Gaara replied, stooping down to pull Naruto into a quick, one armed hug. "And you're doing so much better. The Naruto who came to my doorstep one year and eleven months ago could never smile and make up a fairytale while joking about coconuts."

Naruto didn't reply, but Gaara could see he looked just a little happier.

** ** **

"Jaruto rode from castle to castle, recruting brave knights to his cause," Naruto began, continuing the story from the night before. After about ten minutes of Shinki and Boruto teasing him about 'migratory coconuts', they'd managed to settle down enough for Naruto to continue properly. Four-year olds could be so hyperactive.

"They looked high and low. Soon, Jaruto, DogMan and the Big Bug were joined by Sir Forehead Girl, who defeated her enemies with the power of her forehead; Sir Puppeteer, who liked to kiss every one of his puppets goodnight; the brave Sir Temari, whose fan scares me; and finally the not-so-brave Sir Shika-Shika, who loved to know everything but how to win."
"Shikamaru isn't like that at all," Gaara said slowly.
"He made fun of my interior decorating skills - he will pay," hissed Naruto in return. Gaara bit his lip, trying not to laugh.

Trust Naruto to get revenge through a children's bedtime story.

"So together, the seven brave - and not-so-brave - knights set off to make their fortune and bring down the grouchy king. However, in their way was the ugly, duck-haired Buttface Emo!"
"Laying it on a bit thick," muttered Gaara.
"You're a bit thick!" retorted Naruto. Gaara gestured to his butt, and Naruto choked on his insult. The Gaara he'd first met would never play along with his jokes - neither would Hinata, now that he remembered. She always just blushed and looked away.

"The Buttface Emo was in Jaruto's way, and he wanted to fight.
'My name is Buttface Emo, the Count with six fingers killed my clan, prepare to die!' he said dramatically."

Gaara wished he could find the lie - but couldn't. During the Fourth Shinobi War, he'd heard Sasuke shout that almost word for word. Several times.

Just without the Buttface Emo bit.

"Jaruto and his band of knights fought bravely against the Buttface Emo, but he was very strong. They slashed with their swords and kicked with their boots - but the Buttface Emo parried them, until finally Jaruto kicked him really hard in his buttface, and the Buttface Emo was sent flying into a stinky ditch."
"I could barely keep up with that," Gaara said tonelessly. "Jaruto kicked who in his what?"
"Buttface in his buttface! Oh…"

The kids burst into laughter again.

"Gaara! You're interrupting the story! Ok - but the group got past, even if Sir Forehead Girl thought that the Buttface Emo was pretty or something. Then, they ran into another blockade: it was Poison Ivy!"
"How original."
"Hey! You think of an alternative identity for Yamanaka!"
"Fair enough - but Flower Power was right there."

Naruto threw his arms up.
"Either way, Poison Ivy stepped forward.
'I will defeat her!' Sir Forehead Girl cried, and she stepped forward. With all her strength, she began headbutting Poison Ivy into submission!
'Pig!' cries Sir Forehead Girl.
'Forehead!' exclaims Poison Ivy."
"How original…"
"Gaara!"

The redhead paused, and then let just enough of a smirk appear on his face for Naruto to see before falling back to his usual emotionless look. Naruto gasped dramatically, then pouted.
"Tease."
"Continue with the story," Gaara said in return, giving nothing away.

"Alright, fine! Sir Forehead Girl defeats Poison Ivy with the incredible power of her absolutely massive forehead, and the team progresses to the final enemy in their way! The Mysterious Swirly-Mask! He has in front of him three cups, two filled with poison and one which is safe.
'Jaruto! You must drink from one of my cups!'
'And if I don't want to?'
'Then I stab you.'"
"Of all the powers!" snorted Gaara, trying hard to maintain his composure.
"Yes! What, you think the Mysterious Swirly-Mask can craft a giant wooden pug out of nowehre to eat Jaruto?"

Gaara raised his hands in surrender, knowing that no one could out-weird Naruto, the man who claimed to have met an ostrich wearing three bowties and kissed Sasuke more often than Sasuke's own wife.

He was not jealous of that. He wasn't.

"So - Jaruto is given the game: he must pick a cup, and then Swirly-Mask will reveal a different cup that has poison in it. Jaruto then must decide whether or not to switch cups to see if he can survive - whichever he doesn't pick, Swirly-Mask will drink."
"You learnt this from Shikamaru last week, didn't you?" accused Gaara. Naruto whistled innocently, as though the blond knew advanced mathematical conundrums and didn't instead just vaguely listen to Sakura and Shikamaru when they visited and got nerdy over the latest mathematical ideas coming out of Suna's new university.

"So Jaruto picks the first cup, and Swirly-Mask points to cup three. 'That cup is poisoned,' he says. Anyone want to guess which cup Jaruto should drink from?"
"He should switch to cup two," Shinki said.
"He needs to stay with his own cup!" Boruto exclaimed. The two turned to stare at each other.
"Father, tell Boruto he is wrong."
"Daaaad, tell Shinki he is weak and wrong!"
"You did this," hissed Gaara. Naruto winced, and scratched the back of his neck.

The two boys shot glares at each other across the bedroom, not giving an inch. Thankfully, both of them had learnt from the 'music' incident not to use their jutsus indoors, because that led to the pair sleeping in the Suna stables with the livestock and smelling like hay and mud for weeks.

"The answer is to switch," Gaara placated, "but the maths is very complicated, so we can go over it tomorrow, ok?"
"I knew I was right."
"You're still weak and wrong."
"I was quite literally just proven right!"

Naruto sighed to the heavens, and wondered quietly if this was why all of his friends had settled for having just one child. He would bet anything that TenTen was watching television or enjoying some amazing ramen instead of trying to keep two siblings from stabbing each other over a ficitional math problem.

Still, their arguing had tired them right out, and they fell asleep right after Jaruto switched to the second cup and poisoned the Mysterious Swirly-Mask.

** ** **

Gaara and Naruto quietly cleaned up the boys' play area, putting away the little wooden toys and dolls that the pair had played with that morning.
"I never did say thank you properly, for taking us in," murmured Naruto softly.
"It was never something you needed to thank me for," Gaara replied.
"It is though!" Naruto said, standing up abruptly. Gaara nearly toppled over, staring up at the blond. "When I couldn't stay in Konoha, when I lost… when I lost her, you were there. Not even Sasuke or Sakura cared as much as you did in those days! You practically uprooted your life for us - you helped me build a crib for Himawari and looked after her when I couldn't. I've only really been able to recover as much as I have because you were there for me."

Gaara stood up slowly, guiding Naruto out of the playroom and into the kitchen, sitting him down and starting the kettle. He placed a soothing hand over Naruto's, noticing how slender his fingers were in comparison to the blond's.
"Naruto, you were there for me when I was at my lowest. You've always been there for me when I needed you - I was never going to leave you when you needed my help."

The two sat there for hours, Gaara only moving to pour them some tea.

** ** **

Much to Naruto's annoyance, both Boruto and Shinki were now deeply invested in this completely made up fairytale. He had hoped that after their argument over the maths that they would ask for a different story - preferably one where he hadn't implicated all his friends by making ridiculous and slightly mean caricatures out of them.

Unfortunately, the two were deeply invested, and after finishing dinner, they sped through their bedtime routine. This time, Naruto held Himawari. He gazed down at his tiny, nearly two-year old daughter, and tried not to cry. It was hard to hold Himawari sometimes, to be reminded of that day in the hospital when it had all gone so wrong.

Yes, it had led him to Suna and to reconnecting with Gaara, but it still hurt to think about.

"So, we last left off on Jaruto and his knights' quest to find the red-haired prince and also just generally make their fortunes," Gaara began. "What is in store for tonight, Naruto?" Naruto considered.
"Well, Jaruto had just defeated Swirly-Mask, and was on his way towards the castle, when he saw - in the very far away distance - some peasants talking to a familiar redhead." He smirked, and Gaara felt a chill go down his spine.
"Naruto."
"Gaara."
"If you value your home here, you will not."

Naruto's smirk morphed into a grin, and Gaara groaned. As much as he wanted to be able to carry out that threat, he'd made it dozens of times and never been able to resist Naruto's smile.

"Well, the familiar redhead had used his wily way to escape the castle by throwing mice at the Snake Boy Prince, and was trying to ride on his own ostrich that sounded like coconuts—"
"You're ridiculous."
"Thank you!"

And of course, Naruto just had to look genuinely pleased at Gaara calling him ridiculous.

"… Well, he was riding along, when he saw some people in a field, and a different castle in the distance. These people were working hard rolling around in the mud. One of them was hauling… a cart."
"Bit of an unnecessary pause there," murmured Shinki. Boruto giggled.

"The red haired prince hailed the cart owner.
'You there! Old lady!'
'I'm a man.'
'Oh… really?' The redhaired prince was surprised!"
"The red haired prince sounds like he needs glasses," Boruto exclaimed. Gaara bit his lip in a desperate attempt not to blush.

"The man was most upset. He was only thirty-seven!"
"But that is old!" sniffed Boruto. Naruto and Gaara - who were both already in their mid-twenties - shared a look. They were only five years out from being thirty themselves.

"The red haired prince tried his best.
'Look, good man. I am in haste - who lives in that castle over yonder?' he asked.
'No one,' came the blunt reply. The red haired prince was stunned!
'No one? Then who is your lord?' he quizzed. Several others had gathered around.
'We don't have a lord - we're an anarcho-syndicalist commune, and we take turns acting as the executive officer of the people.'"
"What's an an… an… anocoalistic communal?" asked Shinki.
"Oh I know!" beamed Boruto. "It's a toilet! Papa Gaara talks about how he has to fund more all the time!"
"That's a communal restroom…" groaned Gaara, turning his ire on Naruto. "So, this is what your brilliant fairytale has led us to: public toilets."

Wisely, Naruto skipped the rest of the story, even if the tale of twelve-year old, exceedingly awkward and recently freed-from-Shukaku Gaara shaking a bunch of peasants and telling them to shut up as they blasted the concept of hereditary monarchy to bits was one of the funniest stories Naruto knew.

"Continuing straight on - the red haired prince continued to the castle, and knocked on the door. It was answered by the Count. He was dressed all in black, with black hair and very red eyes."
"Dad, is red your favourite colour?" interrutped Boruto. "You keep using it."
"It is," replied Naruto honestly, with a big, natural smile that he flashed at Gaara.
"Is it the same shade of red as father's hair, dad?" Shinki asked.
"Yup!"

Gaara wondered if he could justify running all the way to the Land of Water to escape the embarrassment he was feeling.

"The Count welcomed the red haired prince into his home, and had him sit down at a ridiculously big table - it was so big that the prince and the count had to shout just to hear each other! But what the prince didn't know was that the count was the evil and had twenty fingers!"
"I thought he had six fingers," Boruto exclaimed. Gaara covered his mouth to keep from laughing at the deer-in-the-headlights look that crossed Naruto's face.
"Well yeah, he has six fingers on each hand… and six fingers for toes too!"
"That would make twenty four fingers, not twenty!" giggled Shinki.

Naruto blushed.

"Oh… he actually has twenty-two fingers! Six fingers on each hand and five on each foot - yes, that works..."
"Like, fingers on his feet instead of toes?" quizzed Gaara, just to add to the chaos.
"Yep!" replied Naruto, clearly just rolling with the madness.

Gaara had to concede that it was nigh impossible to keep up with the force of nature that was Naruto.

"The count was very evil, and he planned to lock the red haired prince up and marry him so he could use the prince's power to wipe out all the kingdoms! Conveniently, he was also the Buttface Emo's clan killer."

The kids gasped, even Himawari who had no clue what was going on. The young girl clapped her hands together, then shoved her entire fist in her mouth. She was such a silly baby sometimes.

"But the evil count had reckoned with Jaruto! Jaruto and his merry band of knights too rode towards the castle, where they found Buttface Emo also on his way. It turned out the evil count with twenty-two fingers was the man who had killed his entire clan.
'My name is Buttface Emo, the Count with six fingers killed my clan, he must prepare to die!' the Emo announced. Jaruto and his knights all thought Buttface Emo was very weird, but the extra cannon fodder was nice."
"Naruto!"

Naruto beamed at Gaara, looking as innocent as stuffed mochi.

Gaara knew better of course, but Naruto's smile was the kind of thing that made bad men do good things, that made smarter men weak to the stupidity of hope and love.

"So they snuck into the castle via a super secret back entrance, that was so secret not even the Buttface Emo had known of it beforehand! It was really disgusting though - it went past the castle sewers, and they smelt grotty."
"Ewww, stinky!" chirped Boruto, even as his eyes drooped. Naruto smiled softly, handing Himawari off to Gaara so he could lean forward and kiss his darling son on the forehead.

"Get some sleep - we'll finish the story tomorrow." He took Himawari back from Gaara, letting the redhead hug Shinki, and then stepped out.

As soon as the door closed, Gaara let out a breath he hadn't been aware he had been holding, his mind racing.

Boruto had called him papa. Shinki had called Naruto dad!

They'd never done that before. It had taken not even two years for the Boruto to seemingly forget his mother had ever been a key figure in his life, instead latching onto Gaara as his other parent. And Shinki had simply bonded with Naruto. Gaara wondered if Naruto had noticed what the two had said, in between the various pitfalls of the fairytale.

"Are you ok with it?" asked Naruto, almost silently. Gaara nearly smashed his head against Naruto's chin, he looked up so quickly.
"Ok with what?" he asked, trying to look calmer than he felt.
"That Shinki sees me as another father figure," Naruto replied. Ah, so he had noticed. Naruto was always at his most perceptive at the most inconvenient times for Gaara.

"Yes, it's alright, so long as you are alright with Boruto seeing me in the same way," Gaara said eventually. He wished he could say more, but something kept all his thoughts and feelings locked deep inside.

The blond led the way to Himawari's room, silent. It wasn't right for such a sunny, boistorous and lively person to be so quiet, in Gaara's humble opinion. It was fundamentally wrong in the same way that the sun not shining was. It was as wrong as nature itself giving up and turning the world sleet grey - Naruto was not meant to be silent. Hushed while his children slept, perhaps, but silence was meant to be foreign to the blond.

Gaara hated the silence.

"Naruto…"
"Let me… let me put Hima down first," murmured Naruto. Gaara's heart sank into the quicksand of his stomach, tossed about on the waves of destitution before sinking beneath the acid.
"Ok… I'll put on some tea."

Naruto placed Himawari down, letting her roll over and clutch her stuffed dog to her chest. In many ways, she was the last true piece of Hinata that he had, the miracle baby who survived when she didn't.

Her eyes held the milky grey of the Byakugan; how was he meant to teach her to see the world when her eyes were so different to his own? How was he meant to live with the fact that his heart was beginning to tug him in the direction of another, away from the woman he had married and planned to live with for the rest of his life prior to her death.

He kissed his baby daughter - who was already babbling and preparing to walk and talk and make him relive the terrible twos all over again - on the forehead, and walked to the edge of the room. He paused - the voice of his son carried from the boys' room next door.
"Do you think they'll end up together like the prince and knight in those books?"
"I do not know, Boruto."
"I… hope so. Dad seems so much more happy when he's around Papa Gaara. Auntie Sakura says he hasn't been this happy since mum went away."

The two went silent for a moment. Naruto felt his breath catch in his throat.

"I would like for our fathers to be together too - father too is happier when around Naruto. He is always talking about 'the blond who showed him the light'. I used to think he meant Auntie Temari, but seeing how he looks at Naruto…"
"They like each other," grinned Boruto. Shinki, far too wise to the world for such a young boy already, simply hummed in agreement.

Naruto took a deep breath. He let the air into his lungs, held it, then let it go. Thoughts battled inside his mind. He wasn't entirely sure of his feelings, he would never have the casual surety of his childhood self or of his son, not after everything that had happened in his life already, but he did still have his determination.

And the two did have a point.

Gaara had already prepared the tea when Naruto stepped into the room, gently pouring the brew into two cups. Naruto rounded the kitchen bench slowly, his socked feet gliding on the tiled floor. The people of Suna loved tiled floors; Naruto thought they were unreasonably cold.

The redhead offered Naruto the teacup; the blond took it and held it delicately in his fingers. He remained standing over the sink, waiting for Gaara to speak first. The silence stretched on; Naruto couldn't bare it.
"Gaara—"
"Naruto, I understand completely. I don't need all this space, and the Kazekage rooms are still empty so…"
"Gaara, what?" Naruto dropped the cup into the sink and grabbed his friend by the arms. "What are you talking about?!"
"You were upset that Boruto and Shinki were seeing us both as fathers, weren't you?"
"What, no?!"

Gaara blinked, and carefully put his teacup down. Naruto's cup had been chipped when he'd dropped it, the tea spilling out over the steel of the sink.

"Naruto, I can't do this anymore. Not as it is."
"I like you!" Naruto snapped, patience running thin.

Gaara went still. The whole house went still.

"I also like you - you're my closest friend, that is, and—"
"Gaara, don't act stupid, I know you bettter than that. I like you. I have for a while now, in fact - we've done all this together, you bought a house for us - you were there for me more than anyone in Konoha when Hinata… when she died. You're my rock, my lighthouse. You made sure I didn't lose myself and… And you mean the most to me."
"Naruto, I have wanted to kiss you since we were twelve years old and you told me I could be more than Shukaku. I want to be by your side."
"Then be by my side, Gaara - just never suggest leaving again!"

Naruto leaned in, and gently brushed his lips over Gaara's, asking permission to truly kiss the man in front of him.

"I knew it!"

Gaara and Naruto sprang apart, wheeling around to see Boruto and Shinki standing at the kitchen door. Boruto sprinted forwards and slammed into the pair, hugging their knees tightly. Shinki followed at a slower pace, but his smile was wider than it had ever been before.
"My dads are gonna get married and have babies!" cheered Boruto.
"I think we have enough kids already," muttered Naruto weakly.
"A happy ending," murmured Shinki softly. Gaara smiled back, a rare smile and all the more a treat for its rarity.
"Yes, just like in fairytales."

** ** **

Of course, that was not the end of the tale of Jaruto and the redhaired prince, now retroactively named Jaara.
"That's such a bad name."
"You think of something better!"
"Lee, Mako, Shouto, Luffy~"
"Ok I get it!"

Jaruto, his merry band of knights, and Buttface Emo all stormed the castle, finding the evil count in the process of drugging Jaara to sell to the evil Snake Boy Prince.
"And then, the Buttface Emo said: 'My name is Buttface Emo, you killed my clan, prepare to die!' And the count looked at him, really looked at him, and said.
'But I am your brother.'
'NOOOOOOOOOOOO!'"

Gaara didn't mention the popular recent movie that Naruto had clearly ripped that from. Then again, he hadn't mentioned that most of this absolutely bogus fairytale had been ripped from personal tales, movies or one of Jiraiya's terrible books.

"And the two brothers fought while Jaruto swung his sword at the count's cronies, and Sir Forehead Girl heatbutted them and DogMan bit them and Big Bug also bit them - because bugs bite and they're a pain! Sir Puppeteer sent his creepy puppets at them, and Sir Temari used her fan to bat hundreds of them out of windows and into comical piles of steaming hot sh—"
"Naruto!"
"Shitake mushrooms! I was gonna say shitake mushrooms!"

Gaara crossed his arms; Naruto smiled weakly.
"Well then, we can have lots of shitake mushrooms for dinner tomorrow, and no ramen."
"No, Gaara, sweetheart, have mercy!"
"Finish the story, honeybuns."
"You two are so gross," sniggered Boruto.

"Er… right - so Sir Temari swung her fan, and Sir Shika-Shika very bravely ran away! They defeated the evil count with twenty-two fingers, and Naru— I mean Jaruto found Jaara in a cell in the dungeon. With a swish of his sword, Gaa— I mean Jaara was free!
'I love you, Jaruto!' exclaimed Jaara.
'I ardently admire you,' replied Jaruto."
"Ok, that you ripped straight from that old Land of Whirlpools novel - you know, Pride and Prestidigitation."
"Gaara!"
"Naruto."

Naruto chuckled softly, leaning a little more on his new boyfriend's shoulder. As much as Gaara looked bony, he was easy to cuddle. And Naruto was a cuddler.

"And the two kissed, finally reunited after all those years apart. Together, they rode off into the sunset. The end!"

Boruto and Shinki whined lowly, heads already lolled to the side and ready to sleep. Gaara stood up and tucked them in, leaving Naruto to look after Himawari.

"I do, you know," grinned Naruto as he spotted Gaara walk out of the boys' room.
"You do what?"
"I ardently admire you!"
"Sap," snorted Gaara. "It'll be interesting to see what our friends think.
"All in good time…"

** ** **

"BUTTFACE EMO?!"
"SIR FOREHEAD GIRL?!"
"SIR PUPPETEER WHO KISSES HIS CREEPY PUPPETS?!"

Naruto paled, and dove for the window as Sakura turned on him.
"I'll get you for this!"
"Leave at least a little of him! I don't want you to kill my boyfriend before he's held that title for even a month!" called Gaara.
"He's your what?! AND YOU DIDN'T TELL US?!"

Gaara followed his boyfriend out the window, the pair running from their infuriated friends, because of course their four-year old boys just had to retell the fairytale to their aunts and uncles.

Of course.

"Creepy Puppet, on our six! Angry forehead gaining!"
"You're insane."
"But you love it!"

Yes, Gaara thought. I do.

Chapter Text

Gaara reminded Naruto of a cat more often than he did not. It was in the way he stretched, slow and languid and with eyes that promised the best night of Naruto's life if he played his cards right; it was in the way that Gaara sometimes craved attention but only on the schedule he dictated.

Naruto and Kakashi were in the Hokage's office, discussing the latest grain tarriffs levelled by the neighbouring Land of Hot Springs against Land of Fire farmers. The tarriffs would badly hurt the flow of trade between the two nations, and the Daimyo was already threatening retaliation.
"Why do we need to look at these?" groaned Naruto, slumping down in his chair. "This is the Daimyo's job!"
"We need to consider whether or not the flow of missions will be affected," Kakashi reminded for the fifth time. "If the Land of Hot Springs provokes the Daimyo further, he may ban all trade, and that includes ninja missions." Naruto grimaced, and went back to glaring at the reports.

At that moment, the door creaked open, and Gaara appeared. The redhead was the Suna Ambassador to Konoha, having snatched the position from his sister before she could claim it. And then, to add insult to injury, had foisted the Kazekage position on her.
"Ah, perfect. Ambassador, can we ask for your assistance on this latest tarriff mess—"

Kakashi was cut off by Gaara striding over to Naruto and curling up in his lap, tucking his head into the dip of Naruto's neck.
"Uh…"
"Don't touch me, I'm cuddling you, not the other way around." Kakashi placed a polite hand over his mask to hide his guffaws.

Naruto stayed very still, letting Gaara get comfortable. His boyfriend was very cat-like at times, but that was just another thing he loved about the redhead.

"Well, ambassador, now that you're comfortable, would you like a laser pointer? Perhaps a bell?"
"Do not patronise me, Kakashi - I will fling you across the city." Kakashi rather hoped his guards did not hear that, because otherwise he would have two diplomatic incidents on his hands, and that was two too many.

"Anyway… what do you suggest be done about the Land of Hot Springs?"
"They've just had their harvests, haven't they?" quizzed Gaara, looking up from his spot in Naruto's lap. "So they've probably got an overabundance of food."
"Yes, indeed - but to levy tarriffs…"
"Doesn't the Land of Fire have tarriffs on Hot Spring fruit?" checked Gaara. "I remember father often sending missions to buy up the excess while it was cheap."

There was a long pause; Kakashi began rifling through papers with increased fervour.
"Of all the things to not be told!"
"Can Naruto leave now?" asked Gaara bluntly. Kakashi barely looked up, dismissing the two with a wave.
"Um, I didn't—"
"We're going to lunch - come on."

And so Naruto found himself being taken out to lunch by a quite affectionate Gaara, who happily sat right next to his boyfriend, legs pressed together and fingers intertwined.

Two days later, Gaara's opinion on personal intimacy changed quite drastically, right as Naruto planned to have a big group picnic atop the Hokage monument.

"No."
"Awww, but Gaara! Matching outfits are—"
"No. And step back, you're as hot as a freaking volcano, and sweating more than Kiba's mutt drools."

Naruto winced, and stepped back.
"Are you upset about finding Kiba and Kankurou toget—"
"If you love me, Naruto, you will not finish that sentence."

Naruto obediently went silent. At least Gaara hadn't decided against coming to the picnic at all, though that may have been because Sasuke was also attending, and the two seemingly enjoyed furiously antagonising one another. Naruto wasn't quite sure, but he got the distinct feeling that they argued over the war mostly - well, that or the little things like who was better at cooking, fighting, jutsus and so on.

(Naruto was completely unaware that the main topic of contention between Gaara and Sasuke was him, as Sasuke was still extremely jealous over the fact that Gaara had 'gotten to him' first. Gaara maintained that Naruto didn't deserve to be burdeoned with a war criminal - the cycle went on for hours.)

The two packed up a small mountain of picnic foods - Gaara spurned physical affection, but had not spurned the chance to prove how good he was at cooking - and set off for the picnic. Just about everyone was there, from the Konoha Twelve to Kakashi and Iruka - who had brought his students' tests to mark. Kakashi's first act upon seeing the sheets of paper was to swirl them into a vault in the Hokage's apartments and fend off Iruka's furious nagging.

"Heya guys!" cheered Rock Lee, bounding over. "We're just waiting on Sasuke, Sakura and Ino now - come sit! Shino made cookies!"
"Shino did?"
"Yeah! I was surprised too - but hey, I'm not complaining!"

Naruto idly wondered if Might Gai would complain. He seemed the kind of guy to complain about cookies, probably because they had too much sugar in them. And sugar wasn't youthful... or something. Naruto tried not to understand Might Gai as best as he could. Beside him, Gaara merely hummed, hefting the wicker picnic basket higher on his arm.

The picnic seemed to be going well - Naruto was right about Might Gai treating the sweet treats as though they had personally insulted him, his mother and Kakashi.

Gaara was in his element, laying out fancy snacks and not quite smiling but looking content as everyone complimented him.
"Oh look, Sasuke's here!" Naruto could pinpoint that as the moment that Gaara's attitude changed. His little content look fell instantly into a deep scowl directed solely at the Uchiha - one which was returned tenfold.

Gaara climbed into Naruto's lap.

"Uhhh…"
"Hands on my waist, Naruto. I will feed you." Well, Naruto couldn't say no to cuddles! And Gaara had started them! And Gaara would feed him! Naruto was getting special attention from his boyfriend! Best day ever.
"How does Di— Naruto have better game than I do?" muttered Sai to himself, switching out the offensive nickname midway through as a tendril of sand wound its way around his ankle. Naruto, of course, did not see any of this.

"Get off the idiot, redhead."
"He's my boyfriend, and I will sit on him as I like."
"Why would Gaara get off my lap?" asked Naruto innocently. Sasuke seethed, fire burning in his eyes. He plonked himself down next to Sai, and glared daggers at the redhead across the picnic blanket.

Naruto just enjoyed some teacakes and a cuddle.

The moment that they left however, Gaara was right back to avoiding his hugs.
"You're such a cat sometimes," grumbled Naruto as they walked back into their apartment. "You want hugs one moment, the next you won't let me hold your hand! And you lay in my lap in front of Kakashi-sensei!" Naruto slid closer, hoping to sneak in a hug.
"If I'm a cat, you're a puppy dog, always wagging your tail whenever I show you the smallest bit of attention," grinned Gaara, slipping out of Naruto's arms and wiggling his butt in the way that he knew drove Naruto insane.

"I'll show you puppy dog," huffed Naruto, slamming the door behind him.

They got a noise complaint from their upstairs neighbour the next morning, followed closely by Naruto getting a pair of fake cat ears for Gaara.

Chapter Text

Naruto was not jealous of his elder, adopted brother. He was not. But - much to Naruto's annoyance - Kakashi had scored a hot Uchiha boyfriend and would not stop being infuriatingly cutesy with him in the corner of the coffee shop.

With a boyfriend like Obito Uchiha, newly minted CMO of Uchiha Tech and a member of the Board of Directors of a multi-billion dollar company, Kakashi didn't need to slum it out in the coffee shop with Naruto, and yet he did.

With his boyfriend.

"You have something on your face," Kakashi cooed, using a napkin to wipe off the tiniest smudge of jam off of Obito's face. Naruto tried not to break a mug. He didn't hugely care about the fact that his adopted brother was comfortably dating one of the richest men Naruto would ever be able to go near - what he cared about was how lonely it made him feel.

"Oh no!" gasped Naruto dramatically, flopping over the counter. "I found a smudge with my microscope!" He pretended to writhe on the counter, pouting ridiculously as Kakashi shot him a dark glare and Obito bit his lip. At least one of the two found him funny. "I absolutely must wipe it off you before you meet with the President of Estonia and the Queen of Thailand!"
"Do you even know where Estonia is?" asked Kakashi.

Naruto stopped still.

"Yes…"

Kakashi and Obito shared a look, then began holding hands under the table and sharing longing looks even though they were right in front of each other as though they were scorned Victorian lovers divided by the great chasm between their family instead of being a pretty typical couple.

Minato - thankfully - strode in five minutes later, relieving his son from the front of the little cafe the family ran. Kushina was out the back baking, and Naruto quickly scampered off to steal a cookie before his mother could spot him.

As they watched him go, Kakashi and Obito shared a look.
"He's jealous," smirked Kakashi. "Serves him right for being late all the time."
"I think it's kinda cute," chuckled Obito. "But we should do something nice for him - he did save us that one time when Madara was cracking down."

Kakashi tried his best to block out that particular memory - seeing the ancient, seething clan head of one of the wealthiest families in the world covered in cake and howling about being allergic to sugar was hilarious, but less so when his little brother was at least partially to blame.

"What do you suggest?" asked Kakashi, sipping his matcha tea.
"Well…" Obito paused, stirred his flat white, then brought it to his lips. "I'm meeting with a very interesting client in a week…"

** ** **

"Obito? 'Kashi's not here - he's actually on holidays, I thought you'd know." Obito snorted softly, tucking his phone back into his bag.
"I'm aware - I'm here for a meeting."

Naruto looked more like a dog in that moment than Obito had ever seen - he tilted his head right to the side, his hair flopping every which way, and stared at Obito with the most adorably confused look.

"This isn't your fancy skyscraper."
"Very astute," chuckled Obito, making his way over to a booth. "It is not - but unfortunately, the U-Tower is being renovated, so we're all on holidays for the next month. This is my last meeting before I jet off to the Cayman Islands."

At that moment, the door opened again, the little bell above tinkling.
"Hello, welcome to— oh, hi!"

In stepped the most handsome man Naruto had ever laid eyes on, with blood red hair, piercing turquoise eyes and the most elegant suit money could buy, one that was effortlessly more stylish than Obito's, silken black with highlights in the same rich shade of red as his hair.
"Good morning," the man said, voice deep and smooth. Naruto wondered if the being before him was secretly some sort of ethereal vampire, brought to earth to bring him to his knees.

"Mr Uchiha, I am most amused by the location you have chosen for our rescheduled meeting - it is far nicer than the Uchicha Tech offices."
"You jest, Gaara" grinned Obito, his posture straightened and his tone relaxed but still sharp. Naruto was instantly reminded of the fact that Obito at only thirty had achieved more than most people did in their entire lives.
"I do not jest," the man - Gaara - said. "When we meet in your offices, your great-uncle hovers over my shoulder like some ancient buzzing helicopter, determined to micromanage a company he has no claim to."

That got Obito to laugh. Naruto paused and watched, amazed. The hot stranger - Gaara - had such an incredible deadpan. It was a biting kind of humour, the kind that people wrote in stories but almost never existed in real life.

"Shall we order, and talk over coffee and cakes?" Obito asked, gesturing to the menu.
"So long as this place has sweets that are not as sickly as yōkan or marron glacé."
"So I'm guessing your recent business trip to Lyon was not as productive as you hoped?"
"They kept serving the stupid sweets," grumbled Gaara, his face scrunching up in a way that almost had Naruto on his back with how cute it was.

"Good morning!" Naruto decided to finally say, stepping up to the table with his trusty notepad and pen. "Can I help with anything today?"
"A flat white and some of your dango please," Obito ordered easily, placing his menu off to one side. "And some water for the table."
"Masala chai and a crème caramel," Gaara added, closing his menu decisively.
"So France wasn't as bad as you just claimed."
"Obito, we have business to discuss."
"Business relating to France!"

Naruto scurried away as the two began to properly talk business, leaving Naruto to wonder just who the mysterious Gaara was. Based on what the redhead had said, he worked for a separate company to the Uchihas, meaning he could be anyone from a subcontractor to a powerful prince!

Naruto would've loved it if he was a prince. Kakashi could suck on that - he got an Uchiha, but Naruto bagged a prince!

Naruto went through the motions of preparing the order with a pep in his step, dancing along to the low hum of music that always played through the coffee shop. He steamed the milk, plated the desserts, and even did a little twirl in time with the song.

Naruto didn't notice, but the business conversation stuttered to a halt very quickly, a pair of eyes glued to him.
"Well?"
"He is very… sunny."
"His brother's fun - like lightning."
"Disgusting."

Naruto finished preparing the order with a spring of lavender placed artfully over Gaara's teacup, and carried the lot over on a tray.
"One flat white, one plate of dango, one Masala Chai and one crème caramel - enjoy, and just flag me down if you need anything else!" With that, Naruto hopped off to go greet some more customers, his usual beaming smile bright on his face.

"Is he always this… bright."
"Yep! He can be a bit dramatic and silly, but he's got a good heart."
"I… see…"

Naruto spent the next hour rushing between tables, delivering dangerously strong coffee to university students and trendy lattes with flaxseed muffins and various fruits to the soccer-mums that clustered around two specific tables in one corner of the cafe, being subjected to the mums all fussing over him.
"How is such a handsome young man still single?" demanded one, pinching his cheek. "Look! Good bone structure, bright eyes - and yet no one in sight. If you weren't gay, I'd set you up with my neighbour's daughter. She's your age, you know!"
"Auntie, you're embarrassing me," whined Naruto, even as he blushed and rubbed at the back of his neck. The soccer-mums all snorted, subjecting Naruto to even more fussing.

Eyes followed Naruto all around the room.

"Anything else, Gaara?"
"Nothing in particular," replied Gaara, standing with one smooth moment. Naruto bustled over, and began loading the empty dishes onto a tray.
"Was everything good?" he asked.
"Very nice indeed," Gaara said, nodding in appreciation. "However, I must be off. May I pay first?"

The redhead waved off Obito's attempts to convince him to split the bill, and strode up to the counter. Naruto practically bounced to the register, still dancing lightly to the soft music.

"One tea, one flat white, one plate of dango and one crème caramel—" "
"And a phone number."
"And a— what?"

Gaara placed a thin slip of paper into a stunned Naruto's hand.

"Call me." Gaara placed a note that was far too big for the meal he and Obito had just had down on the counter, and turned to leave.
"I… wha… what about your change?" asked Naruto weakly.
"Keep it," Gaara answered, waving his hand as he strode on out.

The soccer-mums all began to applaud the moment Gaara was out of earshot; Naruto slumped behind the counter to hide his embarrassment.
"So, what did you think?" asked Obito, vaulting the counter with ease and crouching down beside Naruto.
"Don't break into employee only areas," muttered Naruto. Obito snorted, and flopped to the ground beside the blond.
"I'm dating your brother, I think I count by now," he retorted. "But go on - what did you think of Gaara?"

Naruto blushed even more, hunching over.

"He's very hot."
"Send him a text! He's a very serious guy - we joke that he's married to his job. You'd be good for teaching him to spend less time in the office."
"And what exactly does Gaara do?" asked Naruto quietly.

Obito pursed his lips.

"You'll uh… find out."

Naruto did find out, two weeks later on his third date with the hot redhead.

Gaara was the CEO of the Shukaku Investment Bank and was the third son of the Royal Dynasty of Suna…

So Naruto had found a prince after all.

Chapter Text

The capital of the Empire of Wind was a city that grew out of the desert, an oasis city that had flourished with the growth of the empire and had become a thriving metropolis. The people of the Empire called it home, but to those beyond the Empire's boundaries it was better known as Sunagakure, the city hidden in the dunes. It was also the home of the Emperor and his Imperial Family, a family line that stretched back as far as time could remember, and had reigned for more years than there were grains of sand.

Well, that may have been an exaggeration, but the Sunagakure Imperial Family were not forthcoming with an alternative truth.

It was a city of spires and domes, of towers that stretched up towards the sky and flat-topped houses designed to have little gardens in the place of roofing tiles. It was a city of colour, from the intricate mosaics in the public baths to the huge canvases that shielded the main streets from the harsh midday sun. The royal palace stood proudly in the centre, surrounded by its gardens and the palace walls - all done in the style common for the region.

Naruto was far more used to the squat, domed buildings more commonly found in his homeland. Uzushiogakure was a grand city state in its own right, sitting on an island just off the coast, surrounded by glittering water and treacherous whirlpools - but it was nowhere near as large and bustling as Suna. No, Uzushio was a slower, more sedate city, where the houses were linked by narrow passageways that constantly twined their way around the mountain, always climbing. Uzushio was a city of white and blue and gold, the colours chosen specifically to reflect the sun and keep the houses cool.

Naruto loved his home city, he loved exploring it and meeting the citizens as they went about their daily lives. His father, however, had been troubled for some time.

Uzushiogakure was a trading village, primarily. A city built on the continuous flow of spices, food and precious metals from the Empire of Wind across the sea towards the distant lands and the returning glassware, fine goods and textiles. It was also a city slipping into obscurity, as the Empire of the Wind hoarded its wares and placed embargos on all its neighbours in preparation for war with the Northern Lightning Empire. With its fortunes in decline, Naruto's father - the crowned Doge - had no choice but to initiate diplomatic missions to the Empire of Wind.

Missions which had brought back one very simple instruction: send Naruto to the Wind capital.

"He's not even a prince!" spluttered Minato crossly, pacing back and forth. Naruto watched on, unsure what to say. His father was certainly not pleased in the slightest.
"Perhaps they do not understand the Uzushiogakure political system?" offered Kushina. "The office of Doge seems to be monarchical to outsiders."
"It wouldn't be as concerning if they hadn't described Naruto as 'your fair haired, tanned child, whose eyes are like diamonds and whose skin is surely supple to the touch'! What do they want with my delicate baby!"

Naruto, who was the furthest thing from a delicate baby, scoffed loudly.

"Dad! Uzushio needs this - the trade embargo is beginning to cause grain shortages. And if I seduce their Emperor, then fine! It just means I can make my pleas from his dining table instead of in those silly missions!"

Minato scowled, getting a sinking feeling that Naruto had no idea what exactly 'seducing their Emperor' would actually end up entailing - but Naruto did have a point.
"Could we work with the Land of Rice Fields?"
"It's cut off - puppet state of Wind."
"Lightning?"
"And incur the wrath of Wind? Are you nuts?"
"Wave Country?"
"They're in the same boat as us," Kushina sighed, gesturing to the latest letter from the Wave Daimyo. "Heck, they're worse off cause at least we still have the Land of Hot Springs to work with. Ever since Fire fell, they've been completely cut off behind the Empire of Wind."

Minato groaned, and flopped into his desk chair.
"Fine. Fine! Send Naruto into the jaws of the beast - what can I do? It's only my son."
"You're being dramatic, dad," whined Naruto. "I'll be fine! And then I'll save Uzushio and steal your seat from under you!"

Minato sighed, but signed the papers. Naruto would make the long, arduous trek to Sunagakure and be presented to the Emperor and his family as the son of Uzushio's Doge.

The Empire of Wind stretched across most of the continent, and had brought to its conquered lands many of the infrastructure innovations that had allowed it to grow so rapidly - not least of all, a network of canals and roads that crossed the entire empire, canals trundling along in the low country while roads wound their way through the highlands and between towns.

Naruto's journey began on the canals, meandering along a river for some distance before the boat glided along a long, narrow canal carved into the land. When that came to its conclusion, he rode in a carriage across the hills of what was once the upper FireLands, then boarded a larger riverboat to sail the rest of the way to the great desert that held Sunagakure.

By the time the sand-sailers arrived at the gates of Sunagakure, Naruto had been travelling for nearly six weeks, and was in desperate need of some ramen, a hot bath and a few days of not being tossed about on rickety roads.

Instead, Naruto was greeted by a very nervous looking servant of the Wind Emperor, one who stared, stunned, at the full size of the trade delegation.
"His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Rasa of the Sand, the Wind and the Sky, Lord over the Empire of the Wind and Overseer of all its People commands your presence at the palace, Your Grace, Naruto, son of Minato."
"Uh… sure. Just me?" The attendant nodded. Naruto frowned, but let himself be led forwards. "Repeat that title for me?"
"His Imperial Majesty, Emperor Rasa of the Sand, the Wind and the Sky, Lord over the Empire of the Wind and Overseer of all its People."
"Yeah… cool."

The servant led Naruto to an awaiting pair of palanquins, and drew the curtain to ensure Naruto's total privacy. The blond was more than a little peeved - he'd hoped to see the famed city of Suna, to watch as its people went about their lives. He'd hoped to get an idea of what Uzushio could offer such a metropolis - the city that rose out of the desert. It was for the trade delegation that likely now had to work with the other waiting attendants to reach their quarters, who couldn't be a part of the palanquin ride.

The palanquin halted within the grounds of the palace, and Naruto was hustled from its gardens to his 'guest quarters', where a pair of servants drew him a bath infused with the scent of rosewater and lavender.

Naruto idly wondered if the other members of the trade delegation were afforded such luxuries. They didn't seem to have arrived at the palace yet, from what he had seen out of the windows.

"I've never smelt like freaking flowers before," grumbled Naruto to himself, toweling off and unpacking his suitcases. One of the attendants waiting for his orders by the door very nearly fainted away as Naruto began laying outfits on the bed, considering them and humming with each option.
"Your Grace, son of the Doge, please - allow us to do this for you!" the two attendants finally exclaimed.
"But why?" quizzed Naruto. The two attendants stared at him as though he had grown a second head.
"Because it is our job!" one explained, almost squeaking. "Do you not have attendants?"

Naruto snorted.
"I mean, we do - but they mostly just clean when we're out. Why should people always be waiting on us hand and foot, ya know?"

There was a long silence.

"Definitely black - it will accentuate your hair and jewellery we will provide."
"Jewellery?" asked Naruto slowly - but the attendants had already fled the room. Naruto just shrugged to himself and continued to unpack, taking in all the differences between his own room in the Doge's Mansion and the grand palace rooms he'd been given. The rooms were far more interesting than the frankly quite weird attendants.

For one thing, there was more than two rooms all for him. Back home, Naruto had his bedroom and a bathroom - and that was it. He had no walk-in wardrobe, not state room for speaking with guests. The room was also done up in finery the likes of which Naruto had never bore witness to in his life - and he found it all a bit extravagant. Mosaic tiles lined the ceiling, while the plaster had been moulded around the base of the giant crystal chandelier to look as though it was a flower in bloom. Red ochre lining rimmed the skirting boards, and lush carpets woven to depict the beauty of nature and patterns covered the floor. The windows were lined in gold, the doorways in red ochre, and blue lapis was used to highlight focal points. It felt like living in the most decadent ballroom in Uzushio, the one reserved for only when visiting dignitaries were of status enough to require a ball.

For this much decoration to exist in just a single bedroom? One for guests? It boggled Naruto.

He carefully dressed in his nicest military uniform, the one he had to wear for state visits or military reviews, then pulled on his boots and sat splayed out on one of the couches. The bed was far too low for sitting on - it was the kind of bed someone fell into and did not leave until they had rested for twelve hours and change.

Naruto did not want to miss his introduction to the Emperor, so he chose the couch instead.

"We have return— No, no, no! Your Grace, such clothes are too formal for a man of your station!" groaned the attendant. He held up a far skimpier, muslin shirt - the kind Naruto saw on prints of exotic dancers.
"Absolutely not," grit out Naruto. "I am the son of the Doge, not a dancer!" The two attendants shared a look, shrugged, and placed a golden pocket watch into his overcoat.
"Good luck," one murmured softly. "You shall be led to the grand meeting room shortly."

A third - or fourth, or possibly fifth, Naruto was not really keeping count - attendant arrived, gaped at his formal attire, then timidly led the young man through the long, broad hallways of the palace to a ballroom bigger than the Doge's Mansion. At the other end, on a raised dais, sat the thrones of the Emperor and his three children; a long, red carpet connected the towering doors to the thrones, and no one stood on it from the moment they entered the room.

Naruto entered, followed the attendant off the carpet, and stared.

He could recognise the son of the Earl of Inuzuka, in the flowy, skimpy clothes he had refused to wear. And the daughter of the Daimyo of Wave, and the son of the Archduke of Rice Fields, and every other child of the various vassal states of the Empire of Wind. They had all been dressed in the sheer clothing that Naruto had thought distasteful, draped with fine jewellery; and were all staring at him in turn, horrified.

"Bring that one here." The voice echoed through the halls. Naruto gulped, but followed the shaking attendant as he led the young blond up to the thrones.
"Stand in the centre of the carpet, bow as low as you can, and maybe you won't die," hissed the attendant, before almost physically shoving Naruto centre stage.

"Who are you?" quizzed the Emperor. Naruto bowed deeply, then looked up. The room gasped.
"I am Naruto, son of Minato. He is the Doge of Uzushio." Silence dominated the halls. The eldest prince and the princess held their breath - Naruto did too, though he had a feeling it was for a very different reason.

"You are not a vassal of the Land of Wind," the Emperor finally said. "Why are you here." It was not a question directed at Naruto. The attendant looked about ready to keel over.
"He… but… he is Naruto - the order!" And with a final gasp, the attendant fainted away. The other noble sons and daughters all watched on, stunned.
"I asked for him to be present," a new voice finally said. Naruto looked over - and saw the most beautiful man he had ever bore witness to in his life. A man as pale as the summer moon rising over the waters of Uzushio, with hair as red as freshly-spilled blood and eyes of the deepest aquamarine.

"Crown Prince Gaara? It was you?!" the other prince exclaimed, turning in his seat. Naruto's jaw went slack - everyone had heard of the infamous Crown Prince Gaara, the man who spoke few words but instead made an impression through his actions, famed for raining his enemies' blood on the sands of the Empire of Wind, gaining the monikor 'Prince Gaara of the Bloody Sands' for his battle prowess. Of all the men in the world, Naruto would have never expected Crown Prince Gaara to be the one behind his trip to Sunagakure.

It didn't make sense.

Even if Gaara's voice sounded so good, deep and gravelly with just a hint of gruffness from disuse.

"Silence."

The Emperor's command cut through the low murmur like a sword, bringing pure, itchy silence with it. It was the kind of silence that Naruto hated, that he loathed. It was the kind of silence where all Naruto wanted was to shout or yell or speak or even ruffle his clothes just to fill it with something.

"Naruto, son of the Doge of Uzushio, what were you told this meeting was for?" demanded the Emperor.
"I was told it was to talk trade - Uzushio needs Wind, and Wind has always used our ships to trade with the lands beyond the seas, so…"
"This ball is to pick matches for the princes and princess of the Empire of Wind," the Emperor replied bluntly. Naruto nearly fell over, squawking.

"What a lack of manners," murmured a few of the other nobles. "Not showing proper deference to the Emperor or his son…" Naruto could feel hundreds of eyes on him, all waiting for some great confrontation.

"You have been gravely misled," the Emperor finally said. "Please, allow an attendant to escort you back to your quarters so you may rest until tomorrow, when we can discuss this properly—" Naruto breathed out a sigh of relief, practically itching to sprint out of the enormous ballroom and scream into the bedsheets for an hour.

"Father, I would like for him to stay."

Naruto's mouth dropped open. The Crown Prince had spoken again. Twice in one night! And it was for Naruto!

The sentiment was clearly shared across the ballroom, the various nobles all now watching intently as Gaara stood and slowly, gracefully, descended the dais. He paused in front of Naruto.
"I have broken every protocol in the land. Make it worth my while."

Naruto grinned - he could do that. If there was one thing the son of the Doge of Uzushio could do, it was dance! Well, to be fair Naruto was good at all facets of entertaining, being a natural socialite who loved having people around him. It was one aspect of the duty of Doge that Naruto excelled in while his mother and father did not, preferring small, intimate gatherings to the balls and state banquets Naruto reveled in.

"I'll make sure to impress," Naruto grinned, offering his hand with a flourish and a bow. The Crown Prince stiffened, staring at the hand intensely.

The room waited with bated breath.

Gaara took Naruto's hand.

"…Let the ball begin," the Emperor said, almost as a belated comment considering the crown prince had just selected someone to dance with. Musicians picked up their instruments, the various nobles swarmed forward to vie for the attention of the remaining two royals - and Naruto turned, sweeping Gaara away from the bustle to begin dancing.

"Where'd you ever hear of me?" asked Naruto as they twirled, dancing in the most recent fashions of the continent. Gaara did not answer at first, letting the question stew for just long enough that Naruto was about to apologise before finally speaking; slow and measured.
"I was a part of a trade delegation that stopped in Uzushio - I had disguised myself. We danced then, too."

Naruto thought back, trying to pick which of the many foreign delegations may have had Gaara in it. One stood out - a trade delegation from the Empire of Wind where they had asked for a masquerade ball in place of the usual pomp.
"The masquerade ball - you were the one in the tanuki mask, weren't you?"

For a moment, Naruto swore he saw Gaara light up, excitement dancing in his eyes before he hid it again with expert calmness.

"That is the one - I am impressed you recalled it."
"It's not everyday we are asked to host a masquerade ball - at the time, the Doge thought you all saw us as ugly!"
"I could never think that." Naruto very nearly missed his next step, only muscle memory keeping him from making even more of a spectacle of himself in the Emperor's palace.
"Your highness?"
"I saw you, later that night, when you took off the mask and stood on the balcony. The moonlight bathed you in an ethereal glow."

Naruto chuckled, nervous but enchanted.

"I did not think the crown prince read romance."
"There is a lot you do not know of me," Gaara replied, a slight grin on his lips. "That is the brilliance of these balls - it allows for you to learn all about me, just as it allows for me to view you without a mask hiding your features."

Naruto blushed, his cheeks flaming red.

The son of the Inuzuka, looking somewhat put out at Naruto getting to wear his military uniform as opposed to flowing, sheer robes, glided past on the arm of the second prince.

"You look cheerful," Kiba grinned. Naruto resisted the urge to stick his tongue out.
"You look like a peacock in mating season," Naruto retorted. "Be careful, or you'll trip over your pants."

Naruto twirled Gaara away from Kiba, and looked down at his dancing partner, finding him frosty.
"Sorry - the Inuzuka estate does a lot of trade with Uzushio, so we keep having to have them over. I'm so done with him though - he likes hunting of all things! I couldn't do that to innocent animals."

Gaara blinked, then pulled Naruto a little closer.
"Speak with another again without my permission, and I'll take your tongue out. Got it." Naruto frantically nodded, looking horrified. Gaara grinned. "And I agree - he smells of dog all the time and I find the hunting distasteful."

Naruto barely remembered how to breath, fear and arousal somehow both coursing through his blood at the same time.

They danced some more, until Naruto spotted yet another familiar face just as he and Gaara sat at one of the many tables dotted about for resting at.
"Don't look now, but it's the Hatakes and the Uchihas," he groaned.
"Not a fan?" quizzed Gaara, taking a flute of the finest imported wine from a waiter. "I thought the Hatakes were from Uzushiogakure?"
"They moved to flee the loss of the FireLands, yes," Naruto agreed, taking his own flute. "We're even related… I think? Either way, Kakashi married Obito - he's not too bad, but Clan Uchiha…"

Gaara did not reply, and Naruto thought it was disapproving until he felt the eyes on the back of his neck. He looked towards Gaara, who nodded ever-so-slightly.

Naruto took that to mean he could chat with the approaching bastard.

"Hn, of all the people to be degraded to vassal. Is Uzushio that desperate?"
"He says, dressed as though about to go on stage in a seedy club."

Sasuke Uchiha spluttered furiously, and Kakashi strode over to head the storm off before it could break and wash the two up in another tirade.
"Your Highness, Your Grace. Please, forgive the young Uchiha. We had hoped he was looking to dance, but unfortunately he has interrupted."
"Kakashi, good to see you - please remind your nephew that not addressing the Crown Prince properly can be seen as treason," Naruto replied coldly. Kakashi said nothing, though Naruto could just about see his jaw tighten.

Minato had spent much of Naruto's life training him into the perfect diplomat, and even if he couldn't teach the informal speech and general lack of politeness out of Naruto, he had taught him to read people well.

Kakashi was nervous.

Kakashi was never nervous - Sasuke being here was an order from the head of the Uchiha, surely - and that meant they were trying to get allies fast.
"I will tell him," Kakashi said quickly.
"Oh, and do visit us again soon," Naruto added. "The Doge would like to see you and your husband safely back in the borders of Uzushio for the naval review." Kakashi nodded, once, and bowed.
"Let us know when you are set to return, and we shall accompany you. Good evening, Your Majesty, Your Grace."

Kakashi did not physically drag Sasuke away - but it looked to be a close thing.

"Thank goodness," sighed Naruto finally, sagging with relief. "I can't stand Sasuke."
"You know them well."
"Well yeah, Kakashi's married to them - he was my senior in the army, ya know? So they keep coming to harass him about living with them, and I keep having to 'entertain the dignitaries' which means holding my tongue while Sasuke 'hn' Uchiha critiques my floral arrangements. And then everything else. Antagonistic bastard."

The most wonderful sound ever floated its way to Naruto's ears. It was tinkling, unpracticed, delightful laughter. And it came from Gaara, who was covering his mouth with his hand to hide his amusement.
"I will make sure he does not bother you about the 'floral arrangements' anymore," Gaara said, placing his flute of wine down. "Now, would you care to dance one last time before the ball ends?"

Naruto couldn't help but agree, standing to dance one last time.

After that, it was all too easy for an exhausted Naruto to faceplant into the bed and sleep the rest of the night away, waking in the morning to the rest of the trade delegation finally making their proper formal arrival to the palace so talks could begin.

They were short, and surprisingly successful.

"Uzushiogakure will not trade with the Land of Lightning."
"We don't trade with them already," Naruto grinned. "So that's easy."
"You will not marry an Inuzuka or Uchiha."
"Uhh… sure? I wasn't really planning on it."
"Uzushiogakure will agree to a defensive military alliance."
"That's pretty easy to agree to - we could always do with more allies."
"We will draft a treaty and send it with you on your return trip, alongside an ambassador."

Naruto beamed, excited to have essentially completed his entire mission in one morning. This, he had not expected at all!
"Working with autocrats is so easy," he mused, flopping back into the palanquin that would deliver him to the city gates. Kakashi, Obito and the rest of the delegation would join him and the mysterious ambassador on the trip back to Uzushio, present the treaty, and then not let Kakashi and Obito wander off back to Clan Uchiha to get embroiled in whatever was going on over there.

What Naruto did not expect, meeting the ambassador at the gates of Sunagakure, was to find a very familiar figure in a tanuki mask.
"I… say nothing?"
"Absolutely nothing."
"Got it."

The trip back was as arduous as the trip to Suna, this time spending even more time in the carriages to avoid several floods the monsoon season had wrought. By the time Naruto and the delegation finally returned to Uzushio, an entire season had passed, and Minato had worn a trail in the carpet with his worrying.

"Heya dad! I'm back; I brought good news and Kakashi!"

Minato practically sprinted to the gates to greet them, hugging his son tightly before checking him over completely.
"Are you ok? No broken bones? No torture? No seduction?!"
"Are you ok?" retorted Naruto, trying not to laugh.
"Yes of course - but you, how was it in Suna with all the—"
"Dad, the Emperor sent us an ambassador and a treaty," Naruto hurriedly interrupted. While the public displays of the Doge were normal in Uzushio, they probably weren't to the Suna Ambassador.

"Right yes - is he the man in the tanuki mask?" Minato asked quickly, straightening his back and standing to his full height. In those moments, Naruto could see why Uzushio had chosen his father, why he was the one they believed in.
"Good day, Lord Minato. Let us adjourn to go over the treaty together… with your son, of course. He was very capable of negotiation in Sunagakure."
"I am pleased to hear it!" grinned Minato, turning slightly on his heel. "Please, follow me."

They walked through the city and to the Doge's Mansion, where Kushina had been informed, and had set the cooks to preparing a grand feast. Kakashi and Obito split off quickly, heading to their Uzushiogakure residence to rest, while other members of the delegation headed off to make their reports to their respective ministers.

"It is a privilege to have you back," Minato said as he sat down across from the Ambassador. "Please, though - may I have the pleasure of seeing your face in person, seeing as you have been sent to represent your nation."
"On one condition." Minato tried his best not to sigh - politics always came with conditions, and just once he wanted it to be a little more simple. Maybe that was why he kept inviting the Inuzuka back - they were straightforward at least.
"Of course."

The Ambassador lifted his hand up, and pulled off the mask.
"I wish to marry your son Naruto - consider this an official declaration of intent and my asking your blessing."

Minato's jaw hit the floor as Crown Prince Gaara placed the mask on the desk, and dropped to his knees, bowing his head in front of the Doge.
"I… uh… what?! Naruto?!"

Naruto couldn't answer, just as stunned.

"Your Highness?! Me?!"

Gaara sighed, rolled his eyes, and turned to Naruto.
"Yes, you. Only you. You have captivated me, captured me. I will bring all the wealth and power of the Empire of Wind and place it at your disposal, so long as you promise to be mine in return."

And how could Naruto ever say no to the most gorgeous man he had ever met, the man who had fallen to his knees asking his father's blessing despite being the most powerful prince in the world?

"Yes, Gaara. I do."

Chapter Text

It is said that once every 10,000 people, two individuals are born destined to be intertwined. No one knows quite how such a thing came to be, whether it was the gods toying with the lives of the mortals they had created or if it was a quirk of nature, ingrained into people to ensure that powerful ninjutsu users would always have powerful children.

After Hashirama and Madara had been outed as soulmates, the latter interpretation had been disgarded, even though Hashirama had married someone who was not his soulmate, which itself had caused a heap of legends to crop up about Madara leaving the village only because Hashirama rejected him.

It was known that the rules of the world, when it came to soulmates, was deceptively simple. They simply both had to be sixteen and lock eyes - then, their skin would light up, showing to the world their connection. It sounded a lot easier than it was - on a continent with hundreds of thousands of people, many of whom were shinobi with a life expextancy that was under thirty, it became more difficult.

When the Five Great Shinobi Nations were almost constantly at war and their ninja were trained to abhor the idea of being the soulmate of some evil, unseen enemy, it became nearly impossible. To the point where some shinobi spent their entire lives covering almost every inch of exposed skin so as not to be seen glowing if they ever did meet their soulmate.

Naruto, though, had a good feeling that he would get lucky, and get his own soulmate. The Five Shinobi Nations had come together to fight against Uchiha Madara and save the world, they had combined their strength and intermingled their ninja. Already, nearly thirty shinobi and kunoichi had found their soulmates, boosting morale and proving to the Kage that teamwork truly was the right path to take.

Better yet, his birthday was coming up very soon! So long as they won - and Naruto had high hopes that they would win - he would be right in the middle of everyone when he turned sixteen and had the chance to potentially be gifted a soulmate.

Which was a weird thing to hope for in the middle of a war for Naruto's survival, yes - but since when had Naruto really cared about the small details?

"I wonder who it'll be?" mused Naruto to himself. Kakashi looked over, having been sent by Tsunade to check in on his student as he tried to master the nine-tails mode and also stayed very far away from the fighting so his tailed beast wasn't stolen.
"Who what'll be?" asked the Copy Nin.
"Who my soulmate will be! I mean, it could be Lee, or Neji, or Sakura, or Ino, or Shikamaru, or Kiba, or Gaara? He'd be nice, we already have a lot in common…" Kakashi snorted softly, hiding his mirth behind his hand - unwittingly, Naruto had already admitted to exactly which person he was hoping would be his soulmate, even if he wasn't aware of it himself.
"I wouldn't know Naruto, I never had a soulmate… and the one person who I might've had the chance to be the soulmate of… well… he died."
"That's so depressing, sensei!" groaned Naruto. "But it's ok! We'll still find you someone! Maybe Gai…"
"No."
"Okay… uhhh…"
"Naruto, we have no time - we're about to enter a war," Kakashi huffed.

The blond just groaned dramatically, flopping onto his sensei.
"But Kakashi-sensei! You're so sad and single and lonely! Let me help!"

Kakashi's eye twitched.

"Naruto, seriously?"
"It's probably all that Icha Icha you read."
"Naruto, we are not having this conversation."

Unfortunately for Kakashi, that was the high-point of the next thirty-six hours.

** ** **

Hitting Tobi-Madara whoever with a rasengan was an amazing feeling after everything he'd done.
"Yes!" cheered Naruto, leaping back. The mask cracked, then fell to pieces. At least the ugly mask was gone; the orange one had been much more tasteful in Naruto's highly-esteemed opinion.

"… Obito?" gasped Kakashi, almost falling to his knees. Naruto paused, and looked between Tobi-Madara-Obito and Kakashi, both of whom were now glowing. Gai shifted his weight off of Kakashi, instead flopping onto Killer B.
"I can't believe it," he murmured. "Obito died."

Both men were glowing. Killer B fired a jutsu at the Uchiha while he was distracted, striking him right in the chest. Obito stumbled forwards a couple steps, his hand gripping his heart.
"What the fu—" And he promptly toppled right over, his chest already healing back up.

"Deal with the statue, quickly!" yelped Naruto, scrambling towards the Gedo Statue while Kakashi rushed towards Obito. "We've won!"
"Don't say that!" groaned Killer B. "Ya little brat!"

Naruto was too busy trying to figure out how to unseal bijuu.

Of course, nothing ever seemed to go smoothly when Naruto was involved, and Madara of all people appeared, expecting to see that everything was prepared for him to take control.

Instead, he found five of the bijuu had been unsealed from the Gedo Statue and Obito was not only incapacitated and glowing, but that the Eight and Nine-tails had not been sealed into the Gedo Statue.

"Well, this makes for interesting odds," mused Madara softly, stepping backwards and preparing to strike. His eyes twitched, looking over to Obito. Zetsu slowly rose from the ground beside him.
"It is a mere setback, do not let this minor issue defeat our plan."
"I am well aware of the plan, Zetsu," sniffed Madara. "It is my clan's destiny, and only once I achieve the Eye of the Moon plan will the world be finally at peace, everyone able to— where did my prodigy go?"

Kakashi whistled innocently, having finally stopped glowing.
"I don't know, Madara - can I call you Madara? You seem like the kind of stuffy old asshat who'd demand respect."
"Seriously Kakashi?!" spluttered Gai. "We're facing off against a phantom who's haunted Konoha for nearly one hundred years and you're mouthing off to him?!" Zetsu snarled, and turned to Madara.
"I will find our missing comrade, and then we will complete our goal."
"Good, get to it, Zetsu."

Zetsu vanished into the earth, right as Killer B and Naruto flung their strongest attacks at Madara, who flashed forward—

And began to dissolve.

"What?!" Madara tried to use his hands to cast a jutsu, but found his fingers missing. Then his palms, then his hands.
"We're here to— is he dissolving?!" Sakura yelped. "What did you do to Uchiha Madara?!"
"Nothing, actually," admitted Naruto. "But hey, it worked! Maybe it was cause Kakashi-sensei called him an asshat."

Sakura turned her ire on Kakashi, just in time to catch him vanishing in a swirl of chakra.

Naruto just shrugged at her.
"He was glowing, so maybe he's going to go be with his soulmate."
"Kakashi has a soulmate?!"

Naruto winced, covering his ears. Behind him, Madara continued to fade away, dropping to his knees as he hissed and roared indignantly. His entire being finally faded away, leaving naught but dust.

"Now just to deal with Zetsu," Gaara said, stepping forwards. He was worse for wear, blood still seeping from open wounds, but upright. Naruto beamed, and bounded over to his friend.
"Gaara! You're covered in blood - are you okay?!"
"I may require some time to recover," Gaara admitted. Sakura sighed and strode over to begin administering first aid. "Based on information recovered from Uchiha Itachi before his death as well as… another source, we believe that sealing Zetsu may be the only way to defeat him. We need to get him above ground, in the air, and then sealed."
"Sure, no biggie," grumbled Sakura sarcastically, already healing Gaara's arm.

"Sai can seal him," Shikamaru said, also stepping up. "So now we just need to find him." The earth groaned, rumbled, and then with an almighty roar split open, spitting out White Zetsu in their thousands. Zetsu followed, eyes practically glowing with excitement.

"Even if Madara was a failure, I will still bring my mother back! I am too close to fail now!" Naruto coated himself in Kurama's chakra, grinning.
"Now, it's a real fight!"
"We have your back," Gaara promised, smiling softly and stepping up to stand by his friend. Naruto beamed.
"We can do this, dattebayo!"

And with that, Naruto leapt forward, Gaara right by his side.

** ** **

It took nearly an entire day to corner Zetsu, but right as the clock struck midnight, the evil creature was sucked into a sheet of paper, screaming in fury as he vanished.
"Finally…" gasped Naruto, nearly falling to his knees. "What the hell! Why was that aloe vera so strong?!"
"It's finally over," Gaara said, barely standing himself.

The world warped slightly, and Kakashi stepped out, shinobi uniform slightly askew and his mask ruffled.
"I have uh… dealt with Tobi."
"So he's dead?"
"Yep."
"Completely dead."
"Yep."
"Body?"
"I had to burn it to ashes."
"Do you have anything to prove his death?"
"I have his mask."

Kakashi held up the old orange mask. Yamato took great delight in shattering it into tiny shards using mokuton.

"Yo, what's up kiddos?" asked Kakashi, turning to Naruto, Sakura and Gaara. "Looks like I missed all the fun."
"You're late!" screeched Naruto and Sakura together. Gaara bit his lip to keep from laughing. Kakashi just held his palms up innocently and did his best to peeve his students by smiling with his eyes.

"Uhhh…"
"We're not talking about it, Gai."
"But—"
"No, Gai."

Gai raised an unimpressed eyebrow. Kakashi began to sweat.
"Kakashi."
"We'll talk about it in a bit," promised Kakashi with a sigh.

The clock struck midnight; a watch chimed.
"Oh hey, it's my birthday!" beamed Naruto, "I'm sixteen! Gaara, it's my— hey look, you're glowing!"
"So are you, Naruto," replied Gaara politely, a small smile beginning to grow on his lips. "We are glowing."

Naruto blinked, then let out a whoop of joy.
"Told ya, Kakashi-sensei! I knew I'd get lucky and have a soulmate! And it's Gaara too! Isn't this amazing - I have the best soulmate!" Naruto leapt forwards and pulled Gaara into a hug. "And now we're soulmates, I can do this!" And he grabbed Gaara by the chin and drew the startled Kazekage into a searing kiss.

"That's so cute!" beamed Sakura. "Good for you— ok, you can stop now." Naruto flipped Sakura off; Gaara's hand inched its way down Naruto's back. The two tumbled over.
"They're on the floor!"
"Is this a conflict of interest? Naruto's soulmate is the Kazekage," quizzed Shikamaru slowly. He paused, then shrugged. "Not my problem."
"So, dickless got some…" murmured Sai. "Surprised."

A wave of sand engulfed Sai and dragged him into the ground until only his head remained in the air.

"FIGHT ME NARUTO!"

A second, larger wave of sand, augmented by Kurama's chakra, swept into Sasuke as he came sprinting at Naruto, washing him back. Sasuke sprang up, his eyes shifting form.
"I SAID FIGHT M—"

There was a second swirl, and Obito appeared behind Sasuke, slapping chakra binders onto him.
"Heheh… sorry I'm late everyone!"
"Woah, hold up!"
"Oh look!" exclaimed Kakashi dramatically. "It's Uchiha Obito, who no one at all has seen in nearly two decades!"
"Kakashi, we literally—"
"Hello, Kakashi!" exclaimed Obito, equally dramatically. "Uchiha Madara and Tobi stole my eye and kept me locked up in a secret hideout. Thank you for freeing me!"

A pack of shinobi sprinted over to restraint Sasuke, while Gaara kept Naruto very well distracted.

"Are… are we seriously just going along with this?" asked Killer B quietly, for once not rapping. "This is a bit…"
"Weird?" Gai laughed. "Maybe! But my rival has rediscovered his youth and his youthful love, so… I'm happy for him!"

Killer B decided to just believe that all Konoha shinobi were a bit insane, and to just quietly ask Naruto and Kakashi what the hell they were planning to do with an apparently reformed Tobi when he could get the pair alone.

** ** **

Gaara hummed happily to himself, using his sand to do the cleaning. He'd moved to Konoha after the war, to be with his soulmate and to enjoy some peace and retirement.

Especially after he had been let in on the secret of Kakashi and Obito, which was confined to himself, the two disasters, Killer B, Might Gai and—
"I'm back!"

Naruto.

"Hi Naru…" Gaara trailed off, turning to see his soulmate striding over. "Well, I see how it is," grinned Gaara, opening his arms up. Naruto beamed, and swooped in for a kiss.

While the world was definitely not perfect after the war - thousands had died, and many more were injured - everyone was adjusting. The alliance had been transformed into a Shinobi Union, bringing the Hidden Villages closer than ever and spurring new levels of collaboration amongst everyone. Sasuke had been tried, and was serving his sentence as far away from Naruto as Gaara could demand without his soulmate getting suspicious. He was not taking any chances. Sasuke would never threaten Gaara's happiness with Naruto ever again.

And a few hundred bowls of ramen had Naruto forgetting all about the fact Sasuke was locked up under the Land of Iron inside an active volcano.

Obito, annoyingly, had managed to blindside everyone. Worse yet, he'd actively found and gifted the Kage huge stacks of information 'Tobi' had created with Zetsu, detailing every crime Zetsu and 'Tobi' had committed before Kakashi took Obito's eye back from 'Tobi' and saved him.

To most people, it was a tragic love story come true - Obito and Kakashi, separated by evil until Kakashi managed to save his damsel in distress. To Gaara, it was a little sickening how well Obito had manipulated the system with the aid of his own soulmate.

Well, Gaara couldn't fully blame him.

Naruto bounced about their shared apartment, putting away the ingredients to make a roast lamb. Gaara just watched, trying his best to commit every move Naruto made to memory.

Naruto may claim he was the lucky one, getting Gaara as his soulmate - but Gaara knew better.

Fourth Shinobi War, the night before Naruto's Sixteenth Birthday.

"So, you're telling me you can see the soulmate connections between people?" quizzed Gaara, staring up at Madara in surprise.
"Of course, it is just one of the many powers of my sharingan," sneered Madara, preparing another jutsu. He had already knocked the other four Kage unconscious, leaving only Gaara to face one of the most infamous beings in shinobi history.

To try and survive, Gaara had decided to stall.

"Could you see… if I have a soulmate?" he decided to ask. Madara snorted, a slight smirk on his lips.
"Oh, silly young boy. Is this the final request of a dying Kage? Is this what you hope to see in your Infinite Dream?"
"… Yes," lied Gaara. Madara chuckled softly, floating down to stand in front of Gaara.
"Alright, since I am such a benevolent being." He tapped Gaara on the forehead, and his sharingan whirred, gazing about the world around them.

Madara considered, then chuckled.

"You are linked to the blond jinchuuriki - Uzumaki Naruto. Ah, but you are not the only one. One of my own clan is linked to the jinchuuriki, not to mention a Hyuuga, a Nara, an Inuzuka, and several more."

Gaara snarled, and took a deep breath, considering his options.
"What would I have to do for you to ensure only I am Naruto's soulmate? I am not leaving my future up to the chance that Naruto sees me first."

Madara snorted.
"A feisty one! Well…"

And he made a seal, producing a little glass jar out of thin air. Gaara raised an eyebrow, watching as Madara slowly opened the jar, showing off two rinnegan hidden inside.
"These are mine, from when I died in real life. If this plan fails - and I am well aware that it will not, but who does not love a good backup plan? - I will need to be revived. I will cut the strings binding Naruto to others - it is easy for one who has a rinnegan, and in return you will someday revive me."

Gaara paused, then nodded.
"I will do it, for him." Gaara sighed, and watched as Madara floated away, grinning victoriously.
"And another thing, little Kazekage! If I find out you have deceived me, I will reinstate all the connections! So either bring me back, or lose him!"

Gaara slipped out that night, and went into the middle of the Forest of Death. He sighed, and unsealed the jar, placing it on a log.
"Well, Madara, you might hate me for this - but it's technically fulfilling our deal." He pulled out a scroll, and began his plan to bring back a form of Uchiha Madara. 

He just hoped Naruto would be ok with a child. 

Chapter Text

When Naruto had bought the house, he'd been thinking of one day inviting a girl back, of someday starting a family within its walls and watching his children play in its backyard. It was a rarity in modern Japan: a house with a decently-sized yard found in the city, and for cheap too!

Well ok, it was for cheap because there was a rumour that it was haunted, but Naruto didn't believe in the supernatural in the same way the grannies who played Mahjong in the little cafe by the river did.

Still, Naruto had never expected for the house to gift him something very different.

It had begun when he moved in.
"It's cold in here," Sakura noted, carrying two boxes in her hands with ease even as Kiba and Chouji each struggled with one.
"It's probably the ghost!" sniggered Konohamaru, hoisting half the couch over the threshold.
"Ghosts are illogical," Shikamaru replied, holding the other end of the couch. "They cannot exist - if they did, what would they be made of - are they a gas? It doesn't not make scientific sense."
"Just cause you've got a fancy degree doesn't mean you always need to use it," huffed Konohamaru, dropping the couch unceremonious where Naruto had motioned for them to place it.
"Well, someone in this friend group has to have some intelligence - Kiba trains dogs, Chouji moonlights as a competitive eater when he isn't working construction, and—"
"I'm a licensed surgeon," Sakura butt in. "And Ino is a psychiatrist - what do you want to say about our intelligence?"

Shikamaru paled as Ino and Sakura both turned their glares on him.
"I meant the guys," he tried, breathing out a sigh of relief as the two girls simply turned and walked away. Konohamaru laughed into the couch cushions. "How troublesome."

With all of them helping, it did not take long to get most of Naruto's things into his new home, tucking away the boxes that still needed unpacking even after the sun began to set into one corner.

Naruto - as a thank you - bought everyone ramen, then got laughed out when he couldn't find any of his chopsticks. They'd had to eat the ramen using forks, and Naruto nearly splashed himself in the face five times, not fully used to the Western utensil.

By the time the last of his friends had left, it was almost midnight, the last out being Konohamaru, who waved one last time as he jogged down the street towards the nearest metro station. Naruto watched as his blue bandana-wearing friend vanished into the night, then turned to re-enter his house.

A face stared at him.

"Agh! What the hell? Who are you?!"

The figure tilted his head, as if assessing Naruto - they were as pale as the moon, with eyes like opals and hair the same shade as freshly spilled blood. He was in an old-fashioned kimono - the kind that people had worn back prior to the World Wars - and most curiously, he had the kanji for 'love' tattooed into his left temple, it done in the same red as the figure's hair.

"I see."

And then the figure was gone.

** ** **

"I'm telling you!" spluttered Naruto, glaring at Shikamaru. "I saw the ghost! He was—"
"Naruto, there's no such thing as ghosts," Sakura soothed. "You were probably just exhausted. Or one of us came back to pick something—"
"None of us have red hair," Naruto interrupted. "And none of us have the kanji for 'love' tattooed in our forehead!"

That made both of his friends pause.

"What?" quizzed Sakura, looking very confused. "That doesn't make sense at all! Why would someone look like that anyway? Was the hair dyed? Was it a burglar?"
"It really wasn't," Naruto replied. "Nothing was stolen, and that hair… it didn't look dyed. It looked… like blood. But also really fine, like silk strands! I'd never seen anything like it!"

Sakura and Shikamaru shared a look.

"Naruto, are you alright?" Shikamaru eventually asked. Naruto scowled - he could already tell what his friends were thinking.
"I've not lost my damn mind! And Ino couldn't check me over anyway, isn't that illegal or something?"
"It's technically an issue of patient bias, yes…" admitted Sakura slowly. "But still! People don't just… just see weird redhead men in the middle of the night."

Naruto huffed and flopped down in his seat. His eyes involuntarily shifted back towards the front door, where he'd seen the figure. Something about the young man in the kimono made him impossible to shrug off, something in the way he had eyed up Naruto as if assessing him.

"Do you want someone to sleep with you tonight in case it was a burglar?" asked Sakura, looking worried for her friend. The two had known each other since kindergarten, had practically grown up together, seeing as Naruto was an orphan and Sakura's parents had done a better job of feeding him than the orphanage had.

To be honest, Sakura's parents feeding him was probably the only reason Naruto survived half as long as he had.

"I'll be ok - promise. I'll even double-check all the doors and windows are locked," Naruto promised. His friends shot his concerned looks throughout the rest of their visit, but soon enough Sakura had to head to her placement at the hospital and Shikamaru had to head off to his part time job.

Naruto checked every door and window that night, making sure they were all completely locked. Then, he turned to the stairs, and paused.
"Why is my shirt floating?"

There was a pause, and the shirt flew right at Naruto, smacking into his chest.
"Idiot," hissed the wind - and then nothing. Naruto just stared at his shirt. He held it up, checked all sides.
"My shirt is haunted?"
"No you imbecile!" snapped the redhead, materialising in front of Naruto. "Are you stupid?"
"Oh… that makes more sense. It's much nicer to see you, rather than seeing things floating about on their own. Goodnight, Ghost-san!"

And Naruto happily headed to bed, leaving behind a very stunned redhead.

** ** **

The weeks passed the same as ever for Naruto - well, apart from the ghost who he now shared a house with. The redheaded figure had tried as many different things as he could to spook Naruto away: he'd levitated objects around, blown out candles, turned lights on and off, written on all the mirrors in the lipstick Sakura had left in one of his moving boxes by accident. Naruto didn't mind, the messages were in really complex Kanji, and he'd never been the most proficient with those. Every time, he'd just wait until the ghost appeared, hoping for a reaction, then smile at him. The ghost always seemed so confused by Naruto's lack of a reaction, his eyes searching for something.

Naruto used these chances as time to look at the ghost; really look. See his hair as it framed the redhead's face, short but somehow still looking incredibly fluffy. It also appeared to be the only hair the redhead had at all, his eyebrows completely missing. His skin was so pale too - Naruto wondered if - were the ghost alive - he would be able to see the veins under his skin. He couldn't - the ghost was dead - but it would've been interesting.

Still, the ghost's pranks were harmless.

Until the ghost went too far.

He unplugged the fridge.

"I'm going to surround this house with salt!" yowled Naruto furiously, heaving out off chicken and shoving it into a bin bag. "No, I'll surround you with salt! You destroyed my ramen!"

And for the first time, the redheaded ghost appeared in the day, hissing at the sunlight but mostly looked confused.
"What is different?" he demanded. "You have never reacted before."
"You unplugged my fridge! All my food has gone off, asshole! Now stay still while I douse you in salt!"

The ghost did not stick around, vanishing just as quick as he had appeared.

Naruto, genius he was, complained about this latest transgression at length to everyone who would listen.
"I'm sorry, the ghost unplugged your fridge?" quizzed Kiba, looking seconds away from howling with laughter. Konohamaru had pulled his bandana up to cover his mouth, trying to hide his own guffaws.
"Yeah! All my food was ruined, it's such a pain! I had really good ramen in there!"
"And the ghost is real?" asked Konohamaru slowly, still hiding his mouth behind his bandana.
"I just said he was! The asshole is always doing little petty things like using Sakura's lipstick on the windows or levitating things around - but then he appears and he does this thing with his eyes and UGH!"

His friends didn't reply for a moment, and then they both burst into peals of laughter.
"You're attracted to the ghost!" snorted Kiba. Konohamaru clutched at his sides, wheezing from the strength of his laugh.

A pair of books levitated into the air behind the two, and flew true, slapping them upside the back of their heads.
"What the—" The two spun round, but there was no one there. The two books hovered for a moment longer, then fell to the ground.

There was a beat of silence.

"… did the ghost just throw books at us?"
"Uh… maybe?"

Naruto sighed, and resolved to talk to his friends at a cafe from then on. Clearly, the ghost boy was territorial. Naruto wondered idly if that was cause he felt like it was his home too, and neither Kiba nor Konohamaru had asked his permission to be there.

Naruto just hoped he could see the ghost again. As much as he hated to admit it, his friends may've had a point. He kept noticing things about the ghost, things he wouldn't even think about looking at when he was looking at others, like the way his fingers looked so slender, even as the ghost used them to fling things around and make a nuisance of himself. The way the ghost's clothes did little to obscure how thin his waist was, the obi even accentuating said feature.

It was infuriating, and Naruto could not help but wish to see if he could wrap his hands around that thin little waist and see if his fingers touched.

Another week passed.

The ghost began to physically appear more frequently, and hurtle objects around the house less. Almost as if he was trying to spook Naruto into leaving through consistent reminders of his existence. Unfortunately, this rather had the opposite effect. Naruto stared. He couldn't help it! The ghost was too pretty for his own good, and while Naruto knew most men disliked being called pretty, there just wasn't another word for what the ghost was. He was not handsome in the traditional, roguish style that Sakura sometimes swooned over in magazines, nor was he good looking in the boyish, charming way that people sometimes claimed Naruto was.

No, this ghost was a fully bonified 'pretty boy', somewhat like Ino's latest boyfriend Sai. At least, that's what Naruto thought his name was, it could have just as easily been Steve or Sato or any other name staring with S - though it was definitely unusual.

The ghost put Sai, or Sword or whatever his name was, to shame. And Naruto was unable to keep from simply watching as the ghost appeared, vaguely stood around trying to look imposing, then huffed and left.

Naruto idly wondered how much longer he could go without losing his mind or attempting to pin the ghost against a wall - which in itself was the weirdest thought he could have in relation to a ghost, surely.

Surely, right?

** ** **

Ino dropped in with Chouji and Shikamaru a few days later, bringing gifts of flowers and cake.
"We heard from Kiba that you really do have a ghost here," Ino grinned, dropping the flowers in a vase. Naruto hadn't been aware he owned a vase - maybe Ino brought it, maybe one of his friends gave it to him and he'd forgotten all about it.

"Yep!" Naruto replied. "He's my very own roommate - I always wanted one, even if this roommate doesn't pay rent at all."

There was a low huff from another room, and a plastic measuring cup was tossed at Naruto from the dishrack. Shikamaru just stared, unable to come up with words.
"It… that… that's impossible!"
"Your fancy degree doesn't look so brilliant now, does it?" chuckled Naruto. Chouji sighed, and went to pick up the measuring cup.

Ino rolled her eyes, and plopped down on the nearest stool.
"At least you're not alone," she mused. "We were so worried after you told us you were getting your own house. Especially when it turned out to be a legitimate haunted house!"
"We thought you'd gone off your rocker," Chouji said simply, popping the measuring cup back in its rightful place. "Like cheese without crackers."
"There's crackers in the cupboard," Naruto replied automatically. Chouji grinned, and turned to the cupboard.

"Still - you're not getting younger Naruto. Have you even tried dating recently?" Ino went on. Naruto sighed.
"Not really - I mean, I tried a few clubs but—"

Eyes grew on every surface, all furious teal glaring daggers. The entire house's furniture began to hover, blood seeped through the walls. The floor creaked ominously.
"OUT! OUT!" howled the house, knives ripping from their block and hurtling around, nearly slashing through Ino and Chouji as they sprinted for the front door. Arms sprang from the ground, holding Naruto in place.

Shikamaru leapt over more arms as they reached for him - these ones looking to drag him down.

Naruto felt just a little bit inappropriate for how much he was internally swooning at the show of protective jealousy that his ghost was showing.

The windows rattled, doors banged - a knife embedded itself in the doorframe above Ino's head as the three finally fled the house. The front door slammed shut, the roar echoing through the house and down the street.

The blood faded back into the walls. The furniture and various other flying objects slowly filtered back to their correct places. The eyes all turned to glare at Naruto, and then they too were gone.

Only the knife remained embedded in the doorframe, and it took Naruto nearly an hour to get it out. Much to his surprise, the house seemed to repair itself, the wood stitching itself back together, splinters floating up off the floor to join back into the frame until it looked as though the knife had never stabbed right into it.

"Thank you for not killing them," Naruto said aloud, placing the final knife back into its block. "They just want what's best for me, and they're my friends."

The ghost faded into existence in front of Naruto, his eyes dark.
"Explain."
"I… well… I bought this house because I didn't want to impose on my friends. I'm a ramen chef - I lived with the blonde, Ino, and the pink-haired girl, Sakura, before. They're so successful, and I'm… not. But they want me to have someone of my own. And that's the kindest thing they could ever want for me, because they know I get lonely easily. Only I haven't been lonely, because I've had you."

The ghost said nothing, eyes appraising.

Naruto took a deep breath.
"I know we've gotten off on the wrong foot - maybe it's more accurate to say the wrong leg! I'm not going anywhere. So… hi, my name's Naruto, and my dream's to be the greatest ramen chef in the world, dattebayo!"

The ghost paused, stared, then softly.

"Gaara. I… like not being alone too."

And he vanished, much faster than he'd appeared. He didn't notice Naruto's blush, nor did he spot Naruto slowly trudge his way over to the couch, flop into it, and scream into the cushions.

Naruto finally had a name for his ghost. Gaara. His crush was going to be only getting stronger, wasn't it?

Naruto was falling in love with a freaking ghost.

Chapter Text

Perhaps it was cliche to propose on someone's birthday. Ok, it was very cliche to propose on someone's birthday. Gaara was aware of that! Shikamaru had tried proposing on Temari's birthday and been blown half the way to the Land of Waves - the poor man still had back pain from that - but to be fair, Temari was not the kind of woman to be proposed to.

She did the proposing. With an heirloom Sunagakure treasure plucked, if the legends were true, from the hand of the great Enlil, Chief of all Gods.

Shikamaru had of course said yes, but it was an entire debacle that Gaara had learnt from. He would not let Naruto do the proposing - he loved the man, but Naruto was a bit of an idiot. He'd probably try to propose using a ring made of ramen, or by twisting together a blade of grass while they were standing around in some field on a mission.

No, Gaara would have to propose, and soon.

As soon as possible, in fact, considering the way the vultures were already circling over Naruto, taking note of his empty ring finger and seeing it as permission to swoop down like he was an all-you-can-eat buffet and they wanted to snag him for themselves.

Case in point: Hinata.

"M-morning, Naruto-kun," greeted the Hyuuga heiress, 'accidentally' bumping into the couple as they walked towards the mission desk. "H-how are you today?"
"I'm good, Hinata! Me and Gaara are gonna rock our mission, dattebayo! It's not even that hard - a quick trip to see the Mizukage."
"Oh, that's nice!" replied Hinata. "Did you want some company?" Gaara glared at the heiress from behind Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto, unfortunately, did not seem to fully grasp whey Hinata was asking.
"Are you not busy?" he asked, gasping. "Is Kakashi-sensei not giving you missions cause you're the Hyuuga heiress? I'll sort him out for ya, dattebayo!"
"Oh, no Naru— and he's gone."

Naruto sprinted away, punching the air as he did.

"He's very passionate about his friends, isn't he?" mused Hinata softly, tripping over her words.
"He is very passionate indeed," agreed Gaara. "I am fortunate enough to know this first hand." Hinata coughed, and looked in the other direction.
"Yes, but I-I… I bet he'd be more passionate with…" she trailed off, blushing as red as a tomato. Gaara barely resisted the urge to cause a major diplomatic incident by turning the Hyuuga heiress into a veneer.

"As it is, Lady Hinata, Naruto and I are late for a private mission to the Land of Water. We shall have to catch up another time." With that, Gaara called on his sand and sped away before the woman could reply.

He arrived to Naruto ranting at a very confused Kakashi about the importance of equal opportunities for all people, including female clan heiresses, and sighed.
"Apologies, Lord Sixth. Naruto misunderstood Lady Hinata."
"I didn't? She said she wanted to come on our mission cause she wasn't getting any!" Gaara tried very hard not to think about how accurate that statement actually was.
"I believe she was just trying to be polite, Naruto," Gaara explained. "She doesn't want to come on our mission, she just wanted to seem interested in it."
"Oh," Naruto said slowly. "Well… my point still stands!"

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose, waving at Naruto with his other hand.
"I get it, alright, now go get your mission or you'll be late."
"Like you're one to talk," muttered Naruto, already leaving.

Gaara turned to leave too, then paused. Sand erupted out, grabbing Kakashi by his chin and forcing his head upwards.
"Eyes up, or you lose them," growled Gaara, and stormed out. Behind him, Kakashi deflated, and looked around for any sake Tsunade had missed.

All he'd wanted to do was warn Naruto his pants were ripped.

Gaara, thankfully, noticed himself a couple blocks later, covering Naruto up with a skirt of sand and shuffling him to their shared apartment. This did not stop him from sending a beheaded doll that he'd painted to look just a little like Kakashi to the Hokage with an attached note reminding the copy-nin that he already had a partner.

So Hinata was case one - but she certainly was not the only case.

Case two: Sai.

Sai was infuriatingly blunt no matter what situation he was put in, making him hard to predict. Even Gaara was better at socialising, and he'd been outcast as an insane demon child while a tanuki masqueraded as his mother in his head.

It meant that no matter where Gaara and Naruto went with the former ROOT member, Sai would unerringly say something slightly insane.
"So, dickless has balls," mused Sai for the umpteenth time, watching intently as Naruto sat down in the hot spring. Gaara grit his teeth and very pointedly did not send out a wave of sand to destroy the brat.
"If you're gonna stare, might as well take a picture," sneered Naruto. "That'll last longer!"

Sai pretended to consider, before unsealing an inkbrush and some parchment.

"If you say so - now stand up so I can get a proper look."

Gaara was entirely justified in using his sand to wrench the offending items away from Sai and pulverize them.
"Excuse me," the redhead growled. "What are you asking of Naruto?" He stepped closer, almost as if to protect his blond.
"I'm asking him to stand up so I can see his—"

That time, Gaara did blast Sai out of the hot spring, using a wind jutsu to ensure the blunt pain-in-his-neck landed on a cactus. Infuriatingly, Sai managed to adjust his trajectory at the last moment, landing like a cat.
"Now that was rude," he huffed. "Naruto offered."
"And I get veto," snapped Gaara crossly, stepping into the hot spring. He'd have dragged Naruto back to the apartment, but their hot water was on the fritz, and he did not want to try a sand bath like a chinchilla. He settled for sitting very close to Naruto, almost in the blond's lap. 

"Why should you have veto?" Sai asked, stepping back into the water. Gaara tried not to scream - it wasn't like he and Naruto were hiding their relationship, and yet every lunatic in Konoha seemed to think that because Gaara wasn't trying to meld the blond into his chest that it meant Naruto was free.

He was not, and Sai could get his creepy hands away from Naruto, or he could lose them. Naruto wasn't a person to be stolen or taken, he had the free will, and he'd chosen to love Gaara. And Sai needed to learn that. 

But it wasn't just Hinata and Sai. It was Kiba too.

Kiba, who Naruto enjoyed drinking with - the same Kiba whose 'friendly bro-hug' involved his arm slipping just a little to low on Naruto's back until Gaara snatched him back.
"What's up, Gaara?" asked Naruto innocently, happy to flop onto his boyfriend and begin kissing his neck.
"Yeah Gaara, what's up?" chirped Kiba, unabashedly keeping his eyes on Naruto's backside.
"You like being a man, correct?" hissed Gaara, his sand rising up and forming into a blade. 

Kiba wisely turned and left.

And there was Rock Lee, who challenged Naruto to the same ridiculous contests as their senseis had - only these ones absolutely had to be done "shirtless, Naruto, it's so we don't overheat while showing off our youthful spirits".

"How about you do them in the Land of Iron then, so you won't overheat?" suggested Gaara darkly. "Or in the hospital? Kakashi and Gai like doing finger taps while one is on their death-bed."

And it was also Ino, who was always leaving flowers at their apartment specifically for Naruto, with flowers that Gaara knew meant love and affection and lust. And it was Shikamaru, who put in extra effort with Naruto even though he would normally called it troublesome, including taking Naruto to his favourite ramen stall whenever Gaara couldn't quite get back from a mission fast enough. And Shikamaru was married to Gaara's sister.

It was Choji who shared his snacks and smiled extra warmly at Naruto, and Konohamaru who was a snot-nosed brat who shouldn't be using Naruto's sexy-jutsu but was because Naruto always laughed (and Gaara covered Naruto's eyes because now the transformation was of what Konohamaru thought he would look like at twenty, and that was worrying - where was this boy's parents or guardian?), and it was Shino who wore slightly fewer items of clothing around Naruto and who had started making a point out of his skin which was nearly as pale as Gaara's from a life in heavyset clothes. It was as if he was comparing them. 

It was infuriating, is what it was.

But of all the shinobi in Konohagakure who seemed to be out to steal Naruto out from under Gaara's nose like he was a prize slice of cake and not a living, breathing person who had chosen Gaara, unworthy as Gaara was to live and love the sun, it was freaking Sasuke who was the worst.

Sasuke, who had come back to Konoha for Naruto after Gaara had spoken to him.

Sasuke, who had a history with Naruto he liked to exploit to make sure Naruto's attention shifted to him.

Sasuke, who was right now approaching Gaara in the market.

"Gaara."
"Uchiha."

Gaara placed down the cantaloupe he was inspecting, and turned just a little more to face the Uchiha, but not quite enough to be polite. Insults were all about subtlety after all.

"Myself and the other shinobi in this village wish to throw Naruto a surprise party - it will be at The Old Shuriken."
"Right." Gaara paused, and looked at the Uchiha just a little closer. Sasuke had a small smirk on his lips - the kind that spelt huge amounts of trouble. "Why are you speaking to me about it?"
"You need to get Naruto there," Sasuke replied, as if Gaara was stupid. "That's your job as his roommate."

Gaara did not reply with the retort that he had been much closer to Naruto than merely in his room, but he also knew started a fight with the Uchiha in the centre of one of Konoha's biggest fresh food markets would end poorly.

Not with the Hokage, no, Kakashi knew better than to get on Gaara's bad side - but Naruto would make him sleep on the couch.

Gaara much preferred to sleep wrapped around his sunshine.

"Be there - the tenth, six o' clock sharp."

With that, Sasuke turned around strode away, acting as though he had won something invaluable in the quick, brusque conversation they had had. In reality, he had just told Gaara some extremely useful information, which the redhead would put to good use.

First, though, he needed to speak to Sakura.

Of all the people in the entire Hidden Village of Konoha, Sakura was seemingly the only one not trying to rip Naruto out of his bed, his apartment and his life. Gaara was exceedingly thankful for this, and made it very clear that she was the only one allowed in their apartment.

"How'd talking to Ino go?" asked Gaara, sliding into the seat opposite Sakura at their favourite tea shop. It was an adorable little place, done up in a style unfamiliar to this part of the world with tiny little cakes and teas in every flavour and variety known to mankind, from traditional green and black teas to tea infused with fruits and flowers. Gaara lived for their straberry-honey infused chamomile tea.
"She's as dense as ever," replied Sakura with a sigh. "Honestly, who is thick enough not to recognise flirting?"

The two paused.

"Naruto," they chorused.

Sakura snorted with laughter, and used a jutsu to warm her tea back up. One of the things Gaara liked about Sakura was the fact she was constantly improving, working towards becoming a stronger kunoichi and a better person. She had recently been to Kirigakure, and had practically gorged herself on as many water jutsu as she could learn. She hated stagnating, and she hated how people saw her as being in the shadow of Sasuke. Gaara personally thought that if Sakura and Sasuke fought now, Sakura would win - Sasuke relied to heavily on his eyes and not enough on having other jutsus in case he couldn't use his eyes. 

Sakura knew nearly two hundred different ways to kill a person, and Gaara loved doing missions with her. 

"In all honesty, she's beginning to clue in - especially since I made her pudding. I've also started suggesting romantic flowers to her for the wallpaper of our new offices for the mental health clinic, so I think she's figuring it out."
"I'm happy to hear it," smiled Gaara, pouring himself some more tea after offering some to Sakura. "Did you hear the Uchiha is planning a surprise birthday party for Naruto at The Old Shuriken?"

Sakura gasped dramatically, then began to laugh.
"He's such an idiot - everyone knows that place is as dusty as hell! And it's a former couples'— oh. He's not subtle."
"He is not," agreed Gaara. Sakura rolled her eyes at the man they were talking about - Sasuke really did not know when to give up. Naruto loved Gaara, and Gaara just about treated Naruto like he hung the stars in the night sky.
"So what are you going to do?"
"Well," mused Gaara with a slight smirk. "Remember when I told you I went shopping for something special for Naruto while on my mission back home?" He slid a hand into his coat and withdrew a little velvet box. Sakura gasped, and vibrated with excitement.

"Yes! Oh my goodness, he'll love it! Show me show me show me!"

Gaara flicked open the ring box, and Sakura gasped again, for a very different reason.

"That is gorgeous. I'm— wow."

Both gold and white gold had been swirled together delicately to produce the most gorgeous pattern, with tiny blue sapphires gently embedded into the ring and Naruto's name engraved on the inside in Gaara's own handwriting. He had used his sand to do that, while the rest was done with his own patience and hard work.

"I actually smithed it myself," Gaara said, puffing out his chest.
"I need to get you to make my jewellery from now on apparently," came the murmured reply. Sakura beamed at Gaara. "Naruto is definitely going to say yes!"
"I really hope so. I got my great-grandfather's golden necklace as Naruto's engagement present - I think it will look amazing on him."

Gaara pulled out a second velvet box and showed Sakura a thick golden chain necklace that sparkled in the sunlight, engraved with seals of protection.
"Is this… it isn't!"
"Twenty-four carat gold, yes," Gaara grinned. "The seals work too - I am to imbue it with my chakra to ensure whenever Naruto wears either his engagement ring or this necklace that he is protected thanks to me. My father, my grandfather and my great-grandfather have all imbued it with their chakra in their time."

Sakura gaped.
"You need to take me to Suna - I could get Ino the perfect gift."
"Maybe after I propose," grinned Gaara.
"Speaking of, when are you going to propose?"
"Well…" began Gaara, outlining his plan. Sakura's grin soon matched his own, as their plan was set into motion.

It began with a normal birthday present for Naruto - a set of new pots for his plants.
"Awww! Gaara, these are perfect! Now Luni-chan has some more room to grow!" Luni-chan was a Venus fly trap the Raikage had thought funny to give to Naruto. Gaara wished it would stop trying to take a bite out of him.
"Happy Birthday, Naruto," Gaara said with a smile. "Now, I've booked Ichiraku out for tonight, so we can spend the day doing whatever you want so long as we're there by then."
"Gaara! You're really stealing my title as best boyfriend here! I need to think of a better couple nickname for you - like Moonbeam!"

Gaara practically melted.
"My sun, I could never steal the title of best boyfriend from you."

Naruto blushed, and decided he wanted to go see Iruka and then go out and buy some gardening supplies to prepare to move his plants. Gaara was all too happy to tag along, keeping a close eye out for any one of the vultures.

Thankfully, Sakura was completing her part of the plan perfectly, heading off any potential threats before they could appear.

They stopped in on Iruka - who cried several tears at the thought of Naruto growing up - and then Kakashi - who did not cry, but did sneakily give Gaara a thumbs up when Naruto wasn't looking.
"How?"
"Sakura. I managed to get a few of the others out of the village for most of the day."

Gaara strode over, grabbed the headless doll that vaguely looked like Kakashi, and took it back.
"You're off the shit list. I will bring Obito Uchiha back from the dead for you if you so desire." Kakashi began to sweat comically large droplets.
"Uh… thanks…"
"Nice! You two are bonding - two of my favourite people are getting along!" cheered Naruto. Gaara just smiled back.
"Remember, Lord Hokage, I will bury the world in sand for my precious people," Gaara murmured, before following Naruto out of the Hokage office.

Kakashi felt rather like he had been smacked into by Madara Uchiha.

The entire rest of the day went beautifully smoothly. The weather was perfect, and the happy couple met up with Sakura for a picnic on the bank of the river, under the shade of a giant, aging oak tree.
"Happy birthday, Naruto!" beamed Sakura, handing over her present - a set of kitchen tools to make ramen at home. Naruto whooped with joy, and pulled Sakura into a hug. Behind Naruto's back, Sakura gave Gaara a thumbs up. Gaara nodded, and pulled Naruto into his side once Naruto was done hugging his former teammate.

Finally, as the sun began to set, Gaara led Naruto through the streets of Konoha, not to The Old Shuriken, but to Ichiraku ramen, which was completely empty apart from the pair of them, a sign outside warning people that the whole stand had been booked out for the night.

"Happy birthday Naruto!" cheered Teuchi. "Tonight, it's on the house!" Naruto whooped with joy once again, and ordered within seconds. Gaara smiled, watching as Naruto began to ramble about how amazing his day had been, and how much he loved ramen, and how excited he was to replant all his favourite potted plants - and Gaara couldn't wait a moment longer.

He stood, and bent down on one knee. Naruto gasped. Teuchi gasped. Ayame gasped. Kakashi and Sakura, peeking in through the screen, gasped.

"Naruto, you are my everything. I wish I had the words to describe what you mean to me, how you hung the stars in the sky and exist as my sun, who I am so lucky to be loved by. I love you with everything I have, and I will never waver in my determination to be by your side forevermore."

He paused, and pulled out the ring box, popping it open.

"Uzumaki Naruto, will you marry me?"

Naruto leapt out of his chair and pulled Gaara into a hug, squeezing him tight.
"Yes! Yes! This is the best birthday gift you could have ever given me! I'm going to be a husband!"

Behind them, Teuchi and Ayame were clapping, trying not to sob. Kakashi and Sakura slipped away, nodding to each other.

And Gaara? Gaara was just about the happiest person on the planet.
"Uzumaki Gaara has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?" he mused.

Hearing a statement like that was too much for Naruto, and he pulled Gaara into a searing kiss.