Archive of Our Own

It's so humid outside that the sweat from practice isn't even thinking about drying off of Asahi's skin.  "Another second-year confessed to Shimizu today," Suga says, half laughing, as the two of them meander toward their houses.  "Did you hear about it?"

Asahi shakes his head.  It's not surprising, he supposes, that people want to confess to her given how pretty everyone seems to think she is, but it seems to happen with alarming frequency.  Or, maybe, the thought of being confessed to is just so alarming to Asahi that even once would be too much.  "What did she say?"

"Ah, you know.  She's too busy studying to have time for dating -- the usual.  I wonder if she'll ever say yes to anyone, though."

"It must be so stressful," Asahi says, hiking his bag higher on his shoulder.

"Stressful?"

"Yeah.  Having someone come and confess their feelings to you, and then being put on the spot and not knowing what to say?"  He shudders.  "Sounds like a nightmare."

Suga laughs.  "Nobody's ever confessed to you before?"

Asahi shakes his head, eyes wide.  "No way!  It would be so embarrassing."  A thought occurs to him, and he peers down at Suga.  "Has anyone confessed to you?"

Suga shrugs and looks away.  "A couple times."

"Really??"

"Yeah, once in middle school and one time last year."

Asahi socks him in the shoulder.  "You never told us about that."

Rubbing his arm, Suga says, "I didn't want anyone to make fun of her or anything."

"Why would they make fun of her?"

"Well, you know.  I turned her down, and she was kind of unpopular.  Sometimes people are mean about things like that."

Asahi kicks at a rock in the street.  "I wouldn't have made fun of her."

Suga leans in so their shoulders knock together.  "I know," he says with a smile.  "But if everyone else heard too, then word would get around, and not everyone is as nice as you are."

They walk on in silence for a few minutes, while Asahi turns things over in his head.  People get confessed to all the time, it seems like.  Asahi's too much of a coward to ever confess to anyone himself, but if someone confessed to him, he would probably do something so unforgivably embarrassing that the entire school would be laughing at him.

"How did you handle it?" he asks eventually, interrupting Suga's monologue complaining about their math homework.

"Huh?"

"Confessing," Asahi says.  "I just-- if anyone ever confessed to me, I would…  Well, the person getting made fun of would be me, not whoever confessed."

Suga laughs.  "Well it depends if you want to say yes or not.  If you don't, you can give them some line about how you're too busy with volleyball and can't focus on anything else."

Asahi's pretty sure he wouldn't be able to say that.  His heart rate is accelerating at the very thought of it.  "It sounds like being thrown into a championship game without any practice.  I'd make a fool of myself."

Suga looks at him thoughtfully.  "I'm honestly really surprised nobody's ever confessed to you before.  I know people think you're intimidating, but you're really good-looking, and anyone who gets to know you knows you're as soft as mochi."

"I-- Um…"  Asahi can feel his face turning red.  Suga sounds so matter-of-fact, saying things like you're really good-looking as if Asahi can handle hearing them.  He can barely handle people saying he's good at volleyball, even though he knows he is!

"Well!" Suga says, clapping him on the back.  "You wouldn't go into that championship game without practice.  Maybe you just need some practice for this."

"P-- Practice?"

"Sure!"  Suga turns to face him, walking backwards, then bats his eyelashes and puts on a feminine voice.  "Asahi-san, I've always really liked you a whole lot.  Will you do me the honor of going out with me?"

Asahi chokes on his own spit.  "Come on," Suga says, still in that ridiculous voice.  "Give me your answer, Asahi-san!"

"Suga, you--"

"I'm not Suga right now, I'm a girl confessing to you!"

"I-- I mean--"  Asahi has to close his eyes.  His face already feels hot enough to burn up.  "I'm…I…Volleyball…"

Suga bursts out laughing.  "Wow, you really are hopeless."

"Shut up!"

"Come on, say, 'I'm sorry, I don't have time for dating right now.'"

Asahi takes a breath.  "I'm s-- sorry…I don't, um, I don't have time for-- for dating right now."  He knows his voice has dwindled to a whisper by the last word, but he already feels so embarrassed he might die and it's just Suga messing with him for practice.  Suga, who has seen him in any number of embarrassing situations and is somehow still friends with him anyway.

"Well that's a good start, I guess," Suga says.  "You're going to need a lot more practice."

*

Much to Asahi's chagrin, it becomes a thing after that.  Every so often, when it's just the two of them, Suga will pitch his voice higher and look adoringly up at Asahi and say, "Asahi-san, will you go out with me?"

The thing is, Suga was right.  It does get easier the more they do it, until one night after practice Suga does his whole batting eyelashes deal and Asahi just says, "Sorry, I'm too busy with volleyball and studying to have time for dating."  His face is only moderately hot, and he doesn't really feel like dying at all.

"Wow!" Suga says, holding up his hand for a high five.  "Nice job!  I think you're finally getting the hang of it."

Asahi thinks he wouldn't have the hang of it at all if it was anyone other than Suga saying it to him, but he'll take the win.

"Time to level up, then," Suga says, mostly to himself.

"Level up?"

"Well, sure.  Not everyone who confesses to you is going to be so polite about it."

"Suga, nobody's going to confess to me in the first place."

Suga suddenly turns back and gets right up in his face, staring at him with an intensity that's honestly frightening (probably even for someone less cowardly than Asahi), and shouts, "Asahi-san!  I like you, so go out with me, damn it!"

Asahi practically jumps out of his skin.  "S-- Suga, you sound like Nishinoya!"

Grinning, Suga says, "So?  What are you gonna do if Nishinoya confesses to you?  You can't use volleyball as an excuse."

"Nishinoya's not going to confess to me!"

Suga raises an eyebrow.  "Are you sure?  He didn't want to be on the team without you."

"B-- but…"

"Well," Suga says, starting down the street again, "you never seem to be interested in the girls in our class, even Shimizu, so maybe you would want to say yes to Nishinoya."

Asahi stares at the back of Suga's head as his entire body flushes, and his heart starts to pound out of his chest.  He's never said a word to Suga about-- well, about how he doesn't really like girls.  About how he's known he likes boys for years but is deathly afraid of anyone finding out.

About how maybe he's getting a little too used to hearing I like you from Suga's mouth.

His feet are frozen to the ground, and he can only watch, his mouth opening and closing soundlessly, as Suga walks away.

Suga stops, a little ways down the road, and looks over his shoulder.  "Asahi?"

Asahi blinks at him, ashamed to feel the prickle of tears at his eyes.

"Asahi, I was just-- I mean, I didn't--"

"I don't have a crush on Nishinoya!" he manages, a little too loud.

"Okay," Suga says after a long moment, his eyes wide.

"S-- so, I wouldn't say yes to him.  I would still say no."

Suga walks back to Asahi, who still can't seem to make himself move.  "Want to try saying no, then?"

Asahi can only stare down at Suga, who doesn't look bothered by any of this in the least. It's not fair that Suga is always so cool and collected.  "I don't know what to say."

Suga tilts his head, considering.  "Daichi would say, 'I'm not interested in guys, sorry.'"

Asahi's hands close into fists and he looks away.  He swallows hard, then says, "I'm not Daichi."

There's a long moment of silence.  Asahi can't bring himself to look at Suga's face, to see whether he understands what Asahi is saying, whether he's going to be shocked, or disgusted, or…

"Well," Suga says, his tone of voice just as upbeat as ever, "if Nishinoya confessed to me, I might tell him, 'I'm sorry.  You're a really amazing person, but I think we'd be better as friends.'"

That's not I'm not interested in guys.  Asahi blinks, then blinks again, realigning everything he's assumed to be true about Suga.

"Go on, try it!" Suga says.  He leans in again, lowering his voice to put on his Nishinoya impression.  "Go out with me, Asahi-san!"

"You're kinda scary when you look like that," Asahi says.  Nishinoya can be kind of scary when he's being intense too though.  "Uh.  You're an amazing person but-- but I-- I think we'd, uh.  Be better as friends?"

Asahi's face is on fire, but Suga grins at him.  "Not too bad," he says.  "I think you still need more practice."

They don't talk about it the rest of their walk, parting ways with a wave and a "see you tomorrow" as they always do.  Asahi doesn't stop thinking about it, though, all the way home.

He's still thinking about it when he faceplants into his bed, burying his face in the pillows.  He stays there for a long moment, then rolls onto his back and stares at the ceiling.

Suga knows I'm gay, he thinks to himself, turning the thought over.  Suga knows I'm gay and he's still my friend.

Then, making his face go hot all over again, Suga likes guys too.

He presses his palms to his eyes.  Suga thinks Nishinoya might like me.  No, that one at least he's not going to spend any time thinking about.  Nishinoya is so obsessed with Shimizu that he feels like Suga's got to be wrong.

But Suga himself, though…

Even though Asahi's maybe been thinking about Suga a bit much lately, even though he's found himself looking a little too long at Suga's pretty eyes or thinking how Suga's hair looks like it would be really soft or feeling a little overheated when he sees Suga covered in sweat during practice, Suga doesn't have feelings for Asahi.

He lets himself think about it for a moment: confessing to Suga.  Standing there and saying I like you and will you go out with me?

Then he pulls his pillow over his face, because there's no way in hell he's ever going to do anything like that.  Besides, he already knows what Suga would say: you're a really amazing person, but I think we're better as friends.

*

Suga's Nishinoya impression still makes Asahi blush every time he does it, but he's getting better at saying he'd rather be friends.

The extra practice means that he and Suga have been walking to and from school together, and the more time he spends with Suga, the more he likes him.

It's probably dumb to be harboring a growing crush on his friend, but Asahi has never been the brightest.  He just really likes the way Suga smiles, his gentle teasing, that mole next to his eye.  It's definitely worth walking a little bit out of his way to continue their conversation before he has to break off for his own house.

"Are you even paying attention?" Suga asks, raising an eyebrow at him.  Gosh, he's so cute.

"Of course!" Asahi stammers.  "But I got that question wrong on the test too, so I don't know if what you're saying is right."

Yeah, okay.  He's got it bad.  That's fine, though.  Suga doesn't feel the same way, so Asahi will deal -- it's not the first time he's had a crush on a friend and it won't be the last.  He might wear his heart on his sleeve a lot of the time, but even Asahi can keep some things close to the chest.

*

"Asahi-san!"

Asahi finishes changing out of his sweaty practice shirt and turns to find Nishinoya grinning up at him.  "What's up?" he asks.

"Can you hang back a minute after you're done?  I want to talk to you about something."

"Hm?  About what?"

Nishinoya rubs the back of his head.  "Ahh, well, it's kind of embarrassing.  I'll tell you after, okay?"

Asahi blinks at him.  "Uh, sure," he says, though there's an icy spike of nerves driving into his gut.  No way.  There's no way Suga was right and Nishinoya is gonna--

Nah.  No way.

Nishinoya hurries over to get changed next to Tanaka, and Asahi's eyes catch on Suga's.  Of course Suga had to see that entire exchange.  Asahi can feel his face turning red already.  Suga just gives him a small smile and a thumbs up, and heads out the door instead of waiting for him like usual.

The locker room clears out, until it's just Asahi and Nishinoya left.

"So, uh," Nishinoya says.  "Come with me."

Asahi's got the words ready at the tip of his tongue, but he doesn't want to have to turn Nishinoya down, not when he looks so earnest about everything all the time.  Stop being an idiot, he tells himself.  It doesn't help.

Nishinoya leads him to a secluded part of the gym, where any stragglers won't see them.  Asahi's heart is beating hard and he can feel his palms starting to sweat when Nishinoya stops and turns to face him.

Oh god, Nishinoya's face is red too.  "So, I said it was kind of embarrassing, but, you're such a good guy that I know you'll be cool about it," he says.

"Um…" is all Asahi can manage.

Nishinoya points upward, and Asahi follows his gaze to a brightly colored volleyball wedged in the rafters.  "I was trying to toss it so I could practice receiving, but I threw it too high and I can't get it down.  You're the tallest guy on the team besides Tsukishima and he would never let me live down being too short to get my own ball.  Will you get it down for me?"

Asahi practically chokes, then starts laughing.

"Hey!" Nishinoya complains.  "Aw, man, I thought for sure you of all people wouldn't laugh at me for this!"

"S--sorry!  I'm not-- I swear I'm not laughing about that, it's just something Suga said.  Sorry.  I'll get it for you."

He has to jump for it, but between his height and vertical jump ability, it's not hard to tip the ball out of the crevice it's in.

Nishinoya picks it up with another huge grin.  "Thanks, Asahi-san!  I owe you one!  And don't tell Tsukishima about this, okay?  You know how he is.  God, what if Kiyoko-san found out?"  He pulls an absolutely ridiculous face.

Asahi smiles back at him and mimes zipping his lips.  "See you tomorrow, Nishinoya."

*

Asahi steps out of the gym into the crisp night air and breathes a sigh of relief, a smile playing at his lips.

Then he shrieks and nearly jumps out of his skin when a shadow on the side of the building coalesces into a person.  "So?" the person says.  "How did it go?"

It takes a moment for Asahi to get his breathing and heart rate back under control.  "Damn it, Suga!  You scared the crap out of me!"

Suga just laughs at him and falls into step beside him to start the walk home.  "Nishinoya looked happy enough on his way out.  Did you say yes to him?"

Asahi laughs, then laughs harder at the look on Suga's face.  "I told you before," he says, "Nishinoya doesn't want to date me.  He just needed help getting a ball down that he was too short to reach."

"Oh," Suga says.  He sounds-- relieved?  "I guess my approach of imitating him wasn't the most useful practice, then."

They pass under a street light, and Suga turns to face him.  "Hey, Asahi," he says.  "I really like you.  Do you want to go out with me?"

It's not the Nishinoya impression this time.  It's not an impression of a girl either, or anyone else.  Suga just sounds like Suga.

He's certainly just trying to make Asahi practice more, but… What the hell, Asahi thinks.  He can practice this, too.

"Yeah," he says.  "I'd like that."

Suga just stares at him with wide eyes.  "You--  What happened to, 'Sorry, you're a great guy but we're better as friends?'"

Asahi can feel his face getting hot, but he powers through.  "That's what I'd say to Nishinoya.  You're not pretending to be Nishinoya anymore."

"Who do you think I'm pretending to be?  Are you practicing for someone else?"

Looking away, Asahi rubs the back of his head.  "You just sounded like you.  I figured I would practice saying yes, since I would say yes to you if it was for real."

Suga's face transforms, lighting up with a big smile.  "What if I told you it was for real?"

"Wh-- Really??"

Suga's chuckle is quiet, the look on his face gentle.  Asahi is still trying to put his brain back together when Suga reaches out and takes his hand.  "Yeah," Suga says, his face a little pink.  His hand is warm and solid when he intertwines their fingers.  "Well, it wasn't at first, but it was.  I knew you'd think we were still practicing, and I was too scared to tell you for real.  But I do like you, Asahi.  I want to date you."

"Suga," Asahi breathes, certain his entire body is going to explode.  He squeezes Suga's hand.  "I-- yeah, me too."

"You're really cute when you blush, you know that?"

"S-- Shut up!"

Suga just laughs at him, and gives his hand a tug, and then they're walking down the street again.  Holding hands.  Together.  Thank god the streets are empty so nobody is there to see Asahi's face burning as bright as the sun.

"Hey," Asahi says, when they stop at the intersection where he has to turn for home.

"Hmm?"

"You're, uh.  You're really cute, too, whether you're blushing or not."

"Sap," Suga accuses him, but he sounds pleased.  He leans forward and presses a quick kiss to Asahi's lips, before he even knows what's happening.  "See you tomorrow," he says, letting go of Asahi's hand.

Asahi's brain has gone fully offline, but he stammers out a "see you," before touching his lips in wonder.

Wow.

This confessing stuff might not be so bad after all.

*

Michiko catches Asahi after school, when he's about to head to the gym for practice.  "Can I talk to you for a minute?" she asks.

"Uh, sure," he says.  She's barely ever talked to him before even though they've been in the same class for three years, but maybe she just forgot what their homework is or something.

Somehow, despite all the practice he's had, his face still gets hot when she says, "The truth is, Asahi-kun, I really like you.  I was wondering if maybe you would want to go out with me?"

Asahi rubs the back of his head sheepishly, but his voice is surprisingly even when he says, "Ah, well, the thing is, um.  I'm already seeing someone.  I'm really sorry though, you're a great girl and I hope you find someone better than me!"

Her eyes widen.  "Oh, I had no idea!  I'm so sorry, please excuse me!"

She hurries away, and it's half a second later that Suga walks up beside him.  "What did Michiko want?"

Asahi smiles at him and leans in so their shoulders brush together.  "Nothing.  Come on, let's go practice."