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Dean and You had to go back to the Bunker to get a gold knife to kill the Banshee.
You both walked in and heard something. Which was "Castiel" searching for something to bring Amara out.
"Cas what the hell?" Dean asks, lowering his gun.
"I had her right there, Dean. I could've.." Castiel starts saying
"How?" Dean asks.
"I don't know but I could've found a way.." Cas mutters sadly.
Your just watching this interaction. Tilting your head as you can feel something off.
They keep talking but your not even listening anymore. You can't put your finger on it..
Dean goes and answers the phone and walks out when Sam calls about the old member of Men Of Letters.
You follow. But keep an eye on Cas..
You notice in the corner of your eyes how he has this weird smirk on his face.. that almost looked like.. no.. it couldn't be..
"Hey, are you coming or not?" Dean snaps at you.
"Uh.. no.. I can stay here and help Cas.. if you don't mind.." You say.
"Yeah. Behave." Dean teases before leaving.
"You okay?" Cas asks, tilting his head.
"Yeah.. I'm fine.." you say, starting to look at the files and books..
"You don't look fine.." Cas says. That familiar concerned tone in his voice.
"Can you just shut up." You snap, gripping the file in your hand tightly.
"Oh.. sorry.." Cas mutters sadly, going back to reading..
You guys hear the impala leaving..
You push him against the wall. He drops the book he was reading..
"Y/n what the hell?" He asks, confused and a bit scared.
"You're not Cas." You say, holding him there.
"What? Of course I am.." Cas says, feigning concern.
The boys get home a few hours later to see you holding Castiel against the wall, obviously mad and Castiel beaten up.
"She's crazy guys!" Cas exclaims to them.
"I'm not-" You start saying.
Sam yanks you off Castiel. "Y/N! Stop it!" He snaps, pulling you away.
Dean goes to help Castiel as Sam drags you to your room..
"Sam- please- you have to believe me- thats not Cas-" you plead quietly.
Sam sighs. "How long have you been awake this time?" He asks. Thinking this is just another case of you not sleeping..
"Sam. Please." You whisper. He puts you on your bed.
"Answer the question." Sam says.
"I slept.. uh.. 2 days ago.. but thats not what this is, Sam.." you mutter.
"Y/N.." Sam sighs. Sitting on the bed as you lean back.
You slowly calm down.. "Sam.." you mutter.
"You really hurt Cas, Y/N.." Dean says from the doorway.
"Yeah.." you know you have to play along until you can prove it.. "Can you tell him I'm sorry?" You ask quietly.
"Yeah.. sure.. how long this time?" Dean asks, leaning against the doorway.
"...2 days?" You mutter.
Dean raises an eyebrow, not believing you.
"...3 or 4?.." you admit quietly.
Dean sighs and walks in. Sitting on the other side of the bed. "Come on, lets get you some sleep.." he says.
"Can you quit ganging up on me.." You grumble. They laugh quietly, knowing its just the grumpiness getting to you.
You go to sleep..
In your dream, its one of your favorites. You're sitting in the cabin with Bobby and the brothers, watching a wrestling match..
They're both arguing about something silly, and you are laying on Bobby's chair before he walks in to find you in it.
"Huh.. so this is what you dream about?" A familiar voice asks behind you.
You sigh. "I'm gonna find a way to prove it.." you say, sipping your tea.
"Even if you did.. you won't tell them.. will you?" He whispers.
"What?" You ask.
"You really did well back there. I could feel your anger." He teases, getting closer.
"...shut up.."
"You crave it, don't you? Like you did before.." he whispers directly into your ear.
You try to ignore him, try to focus on your memory.. of your brothers.. Bobby.. the happiness..
"Come on. Don't be like that. Let it out. Let it out." He cheers, his hand now on your chest.
"What?" You look down at your chest. Your glowing..
"Your never gonna be able to win against it.." he whispers in your ear, a feeling goes through your whole body.. this feeling.. calmness.. but also rage..
You gasp awake in the morning to the smell of waffles. You instantly look down, relieved it was just a dream.
"Did you sleep good?" Sam asks from the hall, rubbing his eyes.
"Yeah.." you rub your forehead. "What is that smell." You ask
"Deans making breakfast.. And, he wants you to apologize to Cas yourself.." Sam says.
"Right.." you mutter. You loathe the thought of apologizing to the literal devil, but you have to play along..
You guys go to the kitchen where Dean is making bacon and waffles. Cas is sitting at the table. He looks up at you..
"I.. I'm sorry.. for yesterday.." you mutter quietly.
"Louder, Y/N." Dean says, flipping the bacon.
"I'm sorry for yesterday, Cas.. I didn't mean to hurt you." You say. Biting your cheek so you don't slip up.
"...I forgive you." He says. He sounds just like Cas.. and thats the part that sickens you..
"Thanks.." you mutter. "Well, lets eat." Dean says. You all eat.
Later, they had to go off to a case in Souix Falls because Claire called them.
"..So.. do you rule hell now?" You ask, curious, as you watch him get ready to leave.
"Why yes, I do. That old king is such a good pet." He says, his facade gone.
"Your wrong about me.. I'm not gonna go dark.." you mutter.
"Oh. I'm never wrong, love." He whispers before snapping away..
You sit there..
What if he's right. What if.. I can't fight it off forever.. no.. no..
You're trapped in your thoughts, so much so you don't even realize he's right behind you, making you think these things.. invisible..
Monster.. I've always been called a monster.. but I'm.. not quite hero like, like my brothers.. but not exactly monstrous as the things we hunt.. just.. different.. yeah.. just different..
He smiles sickly as you sit there. He's got you right where he wants you..
You can feel it.. in your veins..
Suddenly the door opens. A familiar figure walking in. Or, well, limping in.. "vamps are so freaking annoying." Dean's grumbling. Sam parking the car.
You snap out of your thoughts and trance "Oh, hey, you okay?" You ask, tilting your head.
"Yeah.. sure.. just tired.." Dean grumbles. They both go to bed.
You rub your forehead.
What is this.. calm feeling.. its like.. if I just accept myself.. maybe.. I can.. feel peace.. accept myself.. all the sides of me..
You look at your hands. Shaky. You write a short note 'need some air' and leave..