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It might be the way she’s drank too much, the bubbly taste of champagne still lingering on her tongue. But when she turns, the shine from the light fixtures floods over Hyejin, throwing shadows, sharpening the line of her deadly cheekbones.
The soft curl of her hair calls for Yongsun’s fingers to entwine with the inky strands, twisting it around, marveling at the softness even after dye after dye.
Hyejin’s eyes land on her, mauve mouth settling on a gentle smile, hand reaching for her own flute of champagne.
Yongsun smiles back, chest tightening, heart beating, urging her to get closer, closer to Hyejin.
The cool air rises goosebumps along Hyejin’s bare arms, Yongsun’s hand reaches forward, palm pressing warmness, thumb rubbing slowly over the the jutting line of her wrist, fingers sliding between the spaces of Hyejin’s own.
There’s a lot of things Yongsun wants to do. As Solar, leader of Mamamoo, there’s many dreams she wants to make her own. Sing at their own concerts, be loved by the entire nation, the whole world. She wants to be happy and healthy and appreciated.
As Kim Yongsun, just a girl in love, she wants nothing more than to kiss Hyejin.
There’s a phone camera being passed around with the rest of tonight's company. Yongsun can hear the shutter of the camera app, pointed around the club, at the drinks.
Hyejin’s hand pulls her closer, elbow landing on the armrest of their plush armchairs, face coming only a couple of centimeters away from Hyejin.
There’s a smile that spills over Hyejin’s lip, wide and happy, eyes shining, playful.
“Instead of thinking so much about it,” Hyejin licks her lips, “just do it.”
She takes a deep breath, eyes caught at the curve of Hyejin’s pouty lips, the dusting of her lipstick. She leans forward, forgetting the crowd. Solar can have the whole entire world, Yongsun, Yongsun only wants Hyejin.
She only gets the quick press of lips, Hyejin’s lipstick sticky against her own lips.
There’s laughing around them, people chalking it up to poor Yongsun being stuck in another one of Hyejin’s jokes.
“Lets take a picture,” one of them says, camera pointing at them, Hyejin pulls back, turning to face the camera, hand still on the armrest, head on her palm.
Yongsun shakes her head, takes a small calming breath, offering a smile, placing her chin on her palm, biting back the desire for a proper kiss.
-
The stars outside fade into the blackness of the sky, lights from the tall skyscrapers blinking at them, red, green, blue, orange.
Yongsun leans on the metal railing, huddled close to the other girl, face looking at the way her shoes scuff against the concrete of the sidewalk. The atmosphere inside the club is still vibrant, the loud conversations, the clinking of glasses.
Hyejin doesn’t say anything, arm leaning over the metal railing, hair falling over her face. Her hand reaches to push it back, but it falls forward.
Yongsun reaches for it, tucking it behind her ear, thumb pressing the point of her jawline, watching as Hyejin’s lips part, mouth dropping the slightest bit with the pressure.
The night sounds keep them company, Yongsun’s hand cupping the side of Hyejin’s face, smiling when Hyejin leans towards her touch, quiet, relenting.
“Unnie,” she finally says, voice barely audible, “you’re acting strange.”
Yongsun bites her bottom lip, hand turning Hyejin’s gaze towards her, mouth dropping into a smile.
“You look beautiful today,” she says, an exhale that sounds like a confession, paints Yongsun’s cheeks pink.
Hyejin blinks at her, her own blush rising up her cheeks.
For all her bravado and talk, Hyejin’s uncertainty always seeps through. Too many articles about her weight, her skin tone, her looks. Yongsun knows how fragile the facade Hyejin pushes is, knows it bothers her entirely too much. But she can’t help but find her beautiful, as she truly is, how she really is.
“You look beautiful all the time,” Yongsun clarifies, “but right now it’s all I can think about.”
Hyejin stays quiet, the music from the club faint against their ears.
“That’s you unnie,” Hyejin says, “everyone knows how beautiful you are, everyone loves the way you look.”
Yongsun steps closer, hand pulling Hyejin in, grabbing at the thin material of her summer dress, noses bumping.
She’s used to the way people coo praise at her looks, the way they eye her, the appreciative glances and looks of interests. The articles upon articles of her visuals. She can’t hide from them, no matter how much she shies away from the compliments and looks.
“I love the way you look,” Yongsun smiles, “everything about you is beautiful.”
Hyejin opens her mouth, Yongsun can already hear the protests, she pulls her closer, lips finding purchase on her jawline, a fluttering kiss. Hyejin goes still, weight shifting, gone heavy in Yongsun’s arms.
“Ok unnie,” she says, whispers, “whatever you say.”
“I mean it,” Yongsun says, voice fierce, “I love you and all the lines and edges that make you.”
Hyejin goes quiet again, eyelashes fluttering, curving upwards, fanning out in such a breathtaking way, Yongsun wants to count them all. She wants to know everything about Hyejin and keep them all secrets, away from the rest of the world.
“Ok,” she says again, her smile back, “do you...want to go back inside?”
Yongsun smiles back, leaning down to finally get her kiss, Hyejin’s mouth yielding, hot, plump against her lips.
They kiss for a while, until Hyejin’s lips are swollen and her face pinks up with the shared warmness. The balmy night feels like the dead of summer, sticks their skin together.
“Lets go home,” Yongsun says, fingers intertwining with Hyejin’s, “come home with me.”
-
The whirring of the small fan keeps her up.
Yongsun looks on at the ceiling, arms folded alongside Hyejin’s. Her bed is small, the perfect excuse to squeeze in with Hyejin, bodies flushed together, Hyejin’s breath fanning over the back of her neck.
Hyejin’s hold on her is tight, but she manages to wiggle around, turning to face the other girl, mouths almost touching.
There’s a lot of things Yongsun isn’t so sure about, a lot of uncertainties and fears.
Hyejin is something she’s certain of, tangible. Hyejin puts out so much of herself for the world to see, Yongsun worries she’ll never be enough, they’ll keep asking and Hyejin will keep giving.
But Yongsun knows she’ll never give herself the way she has for her.
That’s all she really wants, just wants Hyejin to be hers.