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Mav and Goose’s history was complicated. Well maybe that oversimplifies things. It both was and it wasn’t. Maybe it was a perspective thing. As far as anyone outside of their relationship was aware they were best friends, brothers even, definitely family. But to Mav there’d always been something more there, something just out of his reach. But even knowing he could never have it, he yearned for it anyway. For Goose to see him the way he saw Goose.
There’d been signs along the way. Moments in time where Mav thought, even for just a second, that it was all real. Possible. Until something came and quashed them. Every time without fail, as predictable as the sun rising each morning.
Mav had been alone a long time before he met Goose. An orphan thrown into the system like a piece of trash destined to be ignored and forgotten about. The group homes made sure he was enrolled in school but Pete himself made sure he stayed there. Excelled even. He’d always been good with numbers, a natural math whiz a teacher had once told him and he loved to read, anything to get away from the hell that was his own life. So academically he’d had a pretty easy time of it. Except that only kept him busy between 8 and 3.
So despite his small scrawny stature he’d thrown himself into sports. The ones that didn’t require additional payments of course. And science and theatre and in one year even model UN (although he felt that was particularly boring but still another hour he didn’t have to spend hidden away at whatever home they’d subjected him to that month). Because that was another problem in and of itself, Pete never got to stay in one place for very long. And every time they up and moved him, he’d have to begin the whole process again.
So even though Pete was everywhere and doing everything he could, he’d never exactly made friends. He was abrasive and standoffish and just all around untrusting of others. As he had every right to be. Very few people had ever truly been kind to Pete.
Until Tennessee…
When they’d up and moved Pete again halfway through his senior year of high school, he’d been annoyed to say the least. All the credits he’d worked for, the job at the local garage he’d found himself and the almost within touching distance feeling that he might finally be free were all ripped away, again.
And to top it all off he’d been rejected by the naval academy. For something he knew in every fibre of his being that his father hadn’t even done.
So when the social worker had dropped him off outside a literal farm of all places, Pete had considered turning tail and running away right then and there. So what if he didn’t have a high school diploma. So what he couldn’t drive or ride a bike or have any means of getting himself out of here that didn’t involve some sketchy hitchhiking. He’d survive, he had before.
Until a guy, probably a similar age to him, maybe a few years older, had come bounding down the front steps like a man possessed. Followed by an older couple, softly smiling and waving him forward across their property line. The guy, who now in close must have been about 8 feet tall, gangly with wild straw-coloured locks and a mustache that was definitely inspired by a porno, stuck his huge hand out at Pete.
”Hi I’m Nick, you must be Pete. Welcome to the humble Bradshaw abode.” He sing-songed before breaking out into a honking laugh that had Pete cringing at the sheer volume. He kept his hand outstretched until Pete finally got the memo that he was going to have to shake it if he ever wanted this Nick guy to leave him alone. Except instead of a handshake, Nick instead pulled him into a tight hug, holding Pete close to his chest until the smaller squirmed out of his grip.
It hadn’t been the painful kind of tight, not like some of the other families. But it was still claustrophobic, uncomfortable only because Pete didn’t know how to behave. Or how not to shoot his guard up when the only things flooding his senses were the soft green threadbare sweatshirt, the sweet humidity of the air and the gentle thump of a heart that wasn’t his own.
The Bradshaws weren’t like any of the other families he’d been left with before. They accepted each and every one of his quirks in their stride. They always let him take the spot at the table closest to the door, didn’t force him to sleep under a stifling duvet when he’d much rather huddle under one of Mrs Bradshaw’s many patchwork quilts, never tried to make him talk but always listened attentively when he did speak, hanging on to his every word as through it was a presidential address.
And Nick… Nick looked out for him in a way no one else ever had. He knew Pete shied away from any obvious attention drawing to his issues so Nick had learnt to be subtle and quiet just for him. Whether it was dragging another chair over to his desk so he and Pete could study together in silence or leaving tissues and cold medicine on his bedside table when he’d failed to hide a few persistent sniffles and coughs.
Nick always seemed to know what Pete needed without ever having to ask. And as unsettling as it was in the beginning, the acts became something he relished. A sign that someone somewhere was looking out for him. He couldn’t ever bring himself to acknowledge it outright though. And while he never exactly said thank you to Nick he made his gratitude clear in other ways. Leaving his A+ graded assignments on Nick’s desk or offering up his favourite quilt when Nick came down with the same bug Pete had had. An ordeal that had probably only happened because Nick had realised an asleep Pete was much more receptive to physical touch.
Over time the pair became inseparable. Nick even ensuring Pete got into community college out in Maryland while he was at the naval academy. Telling Pete everything he wanted to know but never forcing it down Pete’s throat. The rejection was still a contentious subject but knowing a degree in engineering would be enough to get him into flight school softened the blow a little. As did knowing Nick would be there. So Pete decided that maybe accepting love from Nick wasn’t so bad, that the head pats and fist bumps and hugs were always there to help and never to hurt.
Nick, now Goose (thanks to that awful honking laugh that still gave Pete butterflies), came to visit him every single weekend. They tried new food spots, studied advanced engineering together and bought Pete an old Kawasaki that he could fix up and learn to ride.
Pete cherished every single one of the weekends. Missing Goose terribly in the five awful inbetween days. Any outsider would have thought Goose had been returning from actual war when he showed up each Friday evening on Pete’s doorstep, scooping him up into his arms and holding him impossibly close.
The best part, Pete’s place only had one bed, so they shared, curled up against each other under that same patchwork quilt, its stitching starting to come undone from the love it had been tasked to maintain. Until each Monday morning, where Goose had to up and leave in the early dawn with a kiss to Pete’s forehead and a roughly scrawled note to keep him going throughout the week.
It had never mattered to Pete that Goose always came to him, never inviting him down to Annapolis. He’d never cared that Goose kept weekday communications to a minimum, only calling from off-base pay phones in the middle of the night. Goose said it was to keep him safe, and Pete believed him. It didn’t matter all that much anyway, Mr and Mrs Bradshaw always called after dinner on Wednesdays to check in anyway.
They never said anything about how close their boys had become. Only asking Pete about their most recent weekend escapades. It was a comfortable routine and Pete found himself almost becoming complacent, forgetting that everything he'd built could come down in a heartbeat.
That was until Goose met Carole. They’d been on leave from flight school, back in Tennessee staying in the Bradshaw house. In Goose’s childhood bedroom of all places.
Mav had volunteered to take the floor before Goose even got a word in edgewise. Turning his back before he could see the other man’s disappointment. Of course he’d have rather been up in the old creaky double with the blonde but as he’d recently had to keep reminding himself those were most definitely inside thoughts.
Goose had only known Carole a few days but the blonde was already busy planning out their life together. The house they'd live in and the children they'd have. A perfect little fairytale romance.
And Pete hated it. The situation, not Carole. God he could never hate Carole. She was the most beautiful person he'd ever met. Not just because she was pretty, no Carole was a beautiful person on the inside too. Unbelievably kind and patient and loving. She didn't mind Pete tagging along on her and Goose’s dates. Didn't care that he and her now boyfriend had shared a bed a thousand times over. She loved Goose but cared for Pete too, not that she seemed to understand just how earth-shattering that was to the smaller man.
So no, he could never hate Carole. But he would forever be angry about the circumstances that had led to having to share Goose with someone the man treasured more than himself.
Not that he ever mentioned it to either of them. It was one thing to have to take a step back from the closeness of their relationship but it would be another to have to walk away completely. So he'd settle for a teasing ‘honey’ and occasional side hug.
It would just have to be enough.
And it was until flight school when Mav realised Goose was just a really loving guy. He was always ruffling the other guys hair and giving them back slaps and cheering them up when they were down. And Pete, now oh so affectionately known as Maverick, loved him for it… to a point.
The problem with Goose being an overly tactile person was that he was that way with everyone. Being hugged by Goose could hardly be considered special if it was an experience Mav was forced to share with their entire flight school group. To him Goose would always be the greatest man Mav had ever known but to Goose… Well Mav was just the same as everyone else. And wasn’t that the worst thing he could ever hope to be.
All those years of longing and hoping and waiting just to finally find out that all the special moments Mave had thought they’d shared, were just Goose being Goose. The secure, selfless, caring man he was.
So Mav swung wildly between pulling away from the contact and begging for it. Some days, he’d duck away from Goose’s head pats and side hugs whilst others, he’d crawl into Goose’s bunk and in their shared room and cuddle up beside him. Goose never awoke and Mav always made sure to sneak back out early in the morning so the other man would never know. But whether through muscle memory or because he was missing Carole (and Mav understood, he missed their little ray of sunshine too) Goose always managed to end up winding his strong arms around Mav and pulling them impossibly closer.
And as ashamed as he was for needing these moments, Mav wouldn’t give them up for the world.
Until Hop 31.
They’d ejected, not badly thankfully. All things considered they’d been incredibly lucky. Goose just had a few scratches and scrapes and bruises that would keep him out of action for a week or two. But the hospital had decided to keep him in for observation, at least until end of shift.
Mav, unsurprisingly, had not been checked out. Mostly because he’d refused but he was well known enough in the Navy now, that most people avoided him like the plague. As though his very presence would induce an irreversible accident. Though it had today so maybe they had a point. Either way, the medcentre staff hadn’t bothered chasing him, just ignored him as he sat mutely in the corner of Goose’s hospital room contemplating where everything had gone so wrong. Everything was so fuzzy now, he could barely remember what had happened.
They’d said Goose was asleep now, that between the painkillers and the whole ordeal of the day, his body needed rest. So Mav stayed silent, watching and waiting for the possibility that his whole world may crash down around him. Only ever moving to leave when Carole arrived, a squirming Bradley in her arms.
She’d pulled him back into a grounding hug, before he’d even had one foot out the door. Pressing gentle kisses to his hairline and whispering gentle reassurances in his ear as she passed Bradley over to soothe his ever shaky nerves. She’d not been mad or upset or any of the other things Mav had been expecting. But he should have known better, this was Carole after all. Their sunshine on a rainy day.
When Goose did finally wake, Mav was quick to pass over a still rather oblivious Bradley and watched on at the little family held each other close. A simple shake of his head to Goose’s beckoning him over felt right in the moment. But he couldn’t deny how much he wished to be a part of it. Not to take any of their places but to just fit within it all.
Now Bradley was finally asleep, Mav found it harder and harder to hold back the tears he'd been fighting all afternoon. He hung his heavy head in his hands, frustrated with his aching body that he didn't have it in him to up and run away. To leave them before he completely ruined their perfect little life.
Because this was ridiculous. Carole had almost lost her husband, Bradley his father and here was Mav falling apart. Forever the selfish bastard everyone said he was.
The stupidity of it all just made him want to sob even harder. He clamped his shaking hands over his mouth, desperate to muffle the sounds he knew were coming yet he shouldn't have been surprised when Goose’s head shot up at the tiniest squeak.
“Petey? Honey, what is it? Did the docs not check you out again? I swear to the man upstairs himself I will call a nurse in here to check you for a pneumothorax.” Goose rambled, wincing as he tried to lever himself out of the bed.
Carole gently shoved her husband back down into the sheets, rounding the bed to crouch beside a still tearful Maverick. The guilt swirled in his gut at the pained expression on Goose’s face, he'd done that. He'd caused all of this.
“Petey baby, I need to know if you're hurting?” Carole drawled softly, not an ounce of anger permeating her tone. Yet Mav convinced himself it was there anyway.
“No I'm fine… just need some air.” He heaved between shaking breaths, forcing himself up out of the hard plastic hospital chair and out of the room before he lost it altogether.
He missed the devastation on both of their faces. Disbelief at such an outright obvious lie, sure their little menace had a tendency for stretching the truth but this was something else. Something much worse.
He was out of the medcentre and halfway down the street before he'd even processed it was dark out and California seemed to be experiencing its singular annual bout of rain. Not that it really mattered, all of his senses seemed dulled down anyway.
So he kept running, farther and farther from the mess that was today until all there was to focus on was the pitter patter of raindrops on the ground and the howl of the wind whipping between the buildings. He ran until he was numb, both from the cold and the relentless guilt and hurt and longing. Because in spite of how eager he’d been to get away all he wanted now were Carole and Goose. His family and his loves and the people who made life worth living.
Collapsing down on a bench in some town he’d never heard of, Pete allowed himself to break. To crash back down to reality with such force it hurt. What had he done? What was he thinking?
Running away from the only good thing he’d ever had.
Looking up, he could vaguely make out a pay phone on the other side of the street and before he really had a chance to think it over, a voice in his head that sounded suspiciously like Carole, beckoned him over. After Mr and Mrs Bradshaw had passed a few years ago, Carole had taken over Pete’s weekly Wednesday phone calls. They’d never really talked about it but she’d done it anyway. She always made sure to phone Goose a few times a week and on Sunday’s Goose made sure to drag Pete along to the phone booth with him but Wednesday’s were for Pete.
End of shift was probably a few hours ago by now so Mav punched in the well-known number of the Bradshaw’s beachside rental and let the phone ring. He still felt pathetic but he needed them, just one more time. Even if it was just to apologise and say goodbye one last time.
”Bradshaw residence, Nick speaking.” Came a familiar homely tone through the tinny phone speaker.
”Nicky…” Mav whined before he’d even registered he was speaking.
He heard a commotion over the line before Carole’s unmistakable drawl filled his ears. “Petey, baby where are you? We tried to look for you at the hospital but the docs said you left.”
”M’lost Care, m’so lost. Just wanna come home.” Pete cried, huge sobs bursting out of his aching chest.
“Shh baby, we’ll get you here. But you gotta tell me what you can see.” Carole instructed between commands for Goose to get her coat, keys and bag. As the crack of lightening and rumble of thunder made its way down the line. “Petey, baby, please tell me you’re not out in this storm.”
Mav nodded meekly before he remembered she couldn’t actually see him. “S’not that bad.”
”Peter it is raining cats and dogs out there.” Goose objected loudly from what sounded like across the room. “Honey I need you to tell me the name of the closest store with its lights still on and then I need you to go inside and wait for us, ok?”
Mav complied, reeling off the name of the diner on the corner and trying not to wince as he heard Goose shout about it being an hour away. How long had he been walking?
”Petey, get inside, order a coffee and warm up. We’ll be there soon enough baby.” Carole fired back, no room for argument.
Mav thanked them and apologised for disturbing their evening, his body now convulsing with shivers thanks to the freezing rain.
“We love you Petey, you’ll be home before you know it.”
“Love you too.” Pete whispered, before returning the phone to the hook and trudging back across the street.
True to their word, Carole and Goose (alongside a still sleeping Bradley) showed up not even an hour later. Carole handed over a pile of clothes, a combination of her own and Goose’s to Pete and gently pushed him in the direction of the bathroom to change. How hadn’t he realised he was still in his khakis?
When he returned, suitably bundled up and paid for his coffee (despite Goose’s arguments), the pair dragged him out to their old baby blue Bronco. Carole strapped Bradley back into his car seat and climbed up into the driver’s seat while Goose guided Pete into the back seat and climbed in beside him. He tucked a large blanket around them both and coaxed Pete into his side, pleased when he saw a mop of black hair settle against his shoulders but avoid pressing on any of his injuries.
The drive back was silent. No one wanting to break the delicate peace after the day they’d all had.
By the time they’d made it back to the Bradshaw’s beach bungalow, the sun was starting to rise between the clouds as the rest of the world began waking again. Instead though Goose and Carole guided Pete gently towards their bed, allowing the smaller man to curl up in the middle between them. Goose pulled him close, just as he used to do all those years ago, letting Pete live out his little spoon fantasies. Carole scooted over too, running her fingers through Pete’s hair and peppering his damp cheeks with kisses.
Still though Mav couldn’t sleep, he supposed at the very least he owed them an explanation.
”M’sorry.” He whispered eventually, so ashamed the sounds were barely audible.
”No honey, don’t be sorry. Today’s been a rough day for all of us.” Goose placated, desperately trying to calm the younger. He was so clearly exhausted yet Goose knew getting him to sleep would be a challenge.
”Yeah I guess.” Pete replied despontantly and neither Goose nor Carole thought they’d ever heard him so down. “Still sorry.”
Carole sighed, wiping away the fresh tears that had started to fall. “What for Petey baby?”
Mav sucked in a deep shaky breath. God that nickname always undid him. He knew she didn’t mean it like that but oh how he wished she did. “Because I love you, both of you.”
Goose was quick to chuckle, his laughs shaking them all. “We love you too honey but last I checked that wasn’t something you needed to apologise for.”
Mav sighed wetly, turning to hide his face in the pillows. He’d just made the biggest confession of his life and all Goose could do was laugh. And Carole hadn’t even corrected or stopped him. He wasn’t sure he’d ever felt so pathetic, it was ridiculous. Why had he even bothered coming back? It wasn’t like he could stay here now.
He shook weakly as Carole shot daggers at Goose above his head. At least Goose had the decency to look guilty. He hadn’t meant to make light of the moment, he just hadn’t realised that maybe they weren’t all having the same moment.
”Pete, sweetheart, would you look at us? Please.” Carole begged and Mav being Mav couldn’t deny her a single thing. What he hadn’t expected though was the moment he met her gaze for her soft rosy lips to press gently against his own. “We love you too baby.”
Pete sniffled, eyes wide in disbelief. “I don’t understand…”
”You don’t have to understand it for it to be true honey.” Goose soothed, taking his own turn to slowly and gently kiss Pete as though he was afraid the smaller man may break.
Pete wasn’t ever sure he’d had such a life affirming moment before. It didn’t feel real, it couldn’t be real. They loved him. They were kissing him. He’d never felt more alive. Or confused.
”But I thought… I never thought… I don’t understand… How long?” Mav eventually settled on. Because none of this made any sense. Maybe he was concussed after the ejection and this was all just some sadistic hallucination.
Carole smiled down at him, her eyes radiating the feeling of home. “There's always been four of us in this family. There's always been three of us in this relationship. Nick, Carole and Petey forever and always.”
Pete screwed his face up in disbelief, turning to Goose this time. “But I thought we were just friends…”
“Oh Pete…” Goose sighed, suddenly understanding that somewhere along the lines in all their years of knowing each other that he’d made a grave mistake. “You are my best friend honey but you've never been just that. You've always been so much more. I thought you knew that.”
Pete could only shake his head, eyes fixed on the ceiling. The one thing he’d always wanted had been right in front of his face this whole time. He couldn’t believe he’d missed it. “But you got married?”
Carole teared up at that, laughing hollowly as she realised Pete had truly had no idea. “On paper yes. For Bradley. We were in Tennessee then, you couldn't just have a child out of wedlock. But that didn’t mean we didn’t love you too.”
“We never wanted to force you into a relationship you didn’t want honey. I mean this isn't exactly traditional or customary or commonplace Petey. We should've talked to you before. That's on us.“ Goose added, in between pressing more soft kisses up Mav’s neck and across his tear-stained face.
“I can’t believe I missed this…” Mav laughed, joyously this time. Kissing both his partners so deeply he almost forgot to come up for air. “But just so you know, standing beside the two people you love while they get married without you sucks ok. So does them having a baby. So I'm not just going to be some sidepiece. I'm in, all in. This doesn't work any other way.“
Goose felt a burst of pride deep in his gut at the prospect of Pete finally believing in his own self worth. A belief he hoped he helped to foster over the years. He only wished his parents could see them now. He’d always known in spite of this being against any and all religious beliefs that they’d ever held that they’d known in their hearts that this was right. That they were always meant to be Nick and Carole and Pete. It just made sense.
“Oh Petey, you're it for us. We aren't complete without you, we never have been and we never will be. So we're in, all in.”
“Nicky and Care and Petey.” Mav mumbled to himself with a smile on his face and let out a jaw-cracking yawn.
Carole brushed the hair from Pete’s forehead, relaxing as he closed his tired eyes. “Forever and always my Petey baby.”