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We Have Everything

Summary:

That is what the sign outside the bar says at least

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

You know this city, not so far away? Down there is a street called No. 6. There, on that street, is a place where it’s fun to come. It’s right next to that restaurant called Hetalian Foods. It’s a bar, it’s called Shinya’s Bar. The owner’s name is Hiiragi Shinya. He is always standing by the counter. By the door, you will usually see a woman named Awashima Seri. She is the one to kick you out if you are causing trouble. Sometimes she won’t be there though. In those cases, you’ll see Heiwajima Shizuo there instead. He is crazy strong but hates violence. Somewhere in the bar, usually in the background, you’ll find a young man named Max Alors. He always has a broom in his hand. He always seems to be working on cleaning the place, and it is needed. If you go behind the counter, you’ll find a door, behind that, you’ll find a hallway. If you follow that, you will reach a kitchen with the chef, Nanase Haruka, in a bathtub on wheels. This is pushed around by his friend, Matsuoka Rin.

In this bar, many strange costumers come by. You might know a few of them, and usually, a lot of crazy stuff happens.


 

It was a typical day at the bar. Shinya was sitting by the counter, being bored while waiting for customers who didn’t seem to come. Max was sweeping the floor in front of the counter at the moment. Awashima had needed to be somewhere today, so Shizuo was there instead, standing by the door.

“Aren’t anyone gonna come today?” Shinya groaned while staring towards the door. This was when he caught sight of a group of teenage kids stopping right outside the door.

“Shinya’s Bar?” one read.

“We shouldn’t go in there though,” a voice, as from a child, spoke.

“Why not? There’s no age registration,” another voice spoke.

“I’ve heard of this place from a friend,” a third voice said. “She says they serve drinks without alcohol despite it being a bar.”

“Is that true, Haru-chan?” the childlike voice asked. Shinya could now see the speaker, a small boy with a light pink stuffed rabbit under his arm.

“I think so. I mean, that’s what she said,” Haru-chan answered.

“I’ve heard of it too,” a very mature voice commented. “The owner is said to be very carefree when it comes to alcohol and giving it to underage people.”

“Does he have tea with alcohol or something?” Haru-chan asked in wonder.

“No, and we won’t get it unless we ask for it. As far as I’m concerned, it is not allowed to put something in people’s drinks that they are not aware of.”

“That’s good to know, Kyouya-senpai,” Haru-chan said, sounding relieved.

“Then, what’ll everybody have?” the childlike boy asked.

“I’m thinking rose tea, or cherry blossom tea.” This was an entirely new voice speaking.

“I’m not sure they have that, Tamaki-senpai,” Haru-chan said in a slightly bothered tone.

“But the sign says that they have everything!” The first voice declared. “Kaoru, what’ll you have?”

“I don’t know… What about you, Hikaru?” the second voice, belonging to a guy named Kaoru, answered.

“I was thinking instant coffee,” the first voice answered. This was apparently Hikaru.

Silence fell upon the group and Shinya listened even more intensely for whatever might come after those words from Hikaru.

“You know what?” Tamaki spoke up, breaking the silence. “Instant coffee doesn’t sound like such a bad idea, what do the rest of you think,”

“I don’t mind,” Haru-chan said.

“I suppose it’s fine,” Kyouya answered.

“Instant coffee! Instant coffee!” Hikaru and Kaoru exclaimed cheerfully.

“Lots of sugar in mine!” The childlike person said. Shinya had yet to learn his name. “Takashi, do you think they have cake too?”

Nobody answered, at least not by words, but the boy didn’t ask again.

“Well, let’s get in!” Tamaki said before walking through the door, oblivious to the fact that it had been wide open all along.

“Welcome,” Shinya said in a relaxed manner. “Would you like something to drink? I have this special drink with cola, redbull and some other great stuff in it that I seriously recommend.”

“Hello,” Tamaki said while smiling widely. “What’s the other great stuff in this drink of yours?” he asked.

Shinya smiled. “Ah, a little bit of this and that,” he answered vaguely.

“Actually we wanted some-“ Kyouya started, but Shinya cut him off.

“We also have plane sodas, any of you interested in that?” he smiled at Kyouya as he spoke. He noticed how the glasses reflected the almost not existing light as his eyes couldn’t be seen.

“Soda sounds good!” the small boy answered before turning his attention to his stuffed rabbit. “Right, Usa-chan?”

“I don’t care about soda,” One of two identical redheads said. Judging from the voice, Shinya would guess that this was Hikaru. “All I want is-“ But Shinya cut him off then.

“I also have African tea if you would like something hot to drink?” he suggested.

“We have African tea at home,” the other redhead, Kaoru, answered. “Our father bought it home for us,” he said.

“Actually.” It was now Haru-chan’s turn to speak up, “we came here for-.”

“I also have fruit-milk, juice, I even have cake if you would like that, you could have some tea to go along with that?” he suggested.

“Some cake sounds nice, right Takashi?” The small boy looked up at the giant next to him. Shinya looked up at the boy, who was taller than Shinya himself.

The tall boy only nodded in response.

“But that wasn’t what we came for, Honey-senpai!” Hikaru exclaimed. “What we came here for was-“

“Okay fine!” Shinya yelled, interrupting Hikaru a second time. “You can have this!” He rummaged through the mini-fridge under the counter and found the largest bottle of cola he owned. “I don’t share much of this unless it’s our special drink, but I’m willing to make an exception.”

“That’s not what we want,” Haru-chan spoke. “How come you haven’t even let us get through with our order?”

“Haruhi is right… now that I think about it…” Kaoru said.

Shinya tilted his head and looked at the one he had thought of as Haru-chan all this time. “So, your name is Haruhi,” he smiled.

“What do you mean?” Tamaki wrapped an arm around Haruhi’s shoulders. “What else did you think her name was?”

“Never mind that,” Shinya said. “I’ll get you some rose tea and whatever cake you’d like,” he said.

“The only one who said he wanted rose tea was Tono,” Hikaru said.

Kyouya looked thoughtfully at Shinya for a bit. Nothing in his expression hinted for anything that came next, but Shinya did sense that he had been figured out by at least one of them, and had probably been from the very beginning.

“Tell me, have you been eavesdropping on our conversation outside?” Kyouya asked.

Shinya saw no point in denying it and just smiled. “Eavesdropping is my specialty,” he simply answered.

“So… did you know what we were going to order?” Kaoru asked.

Shinya smiled evenly much. “Of course I did, I heard your entire conversation.”

“What?” Hikaru looked surprised. “Then why didn’t you just let us order instead of offering all those other things?” he asked.

“Why indeed,” Shinya smiled. “Try ordering then, I promise I won’t interrupt.”

“Then,” Kyouya spoke. “We would like seven cups of instant coffee.”

Shinya smiled. “Sorry. You just found the one thing I don’t have,” he said. “But I do have coffee beans.”

Kyouya sighed. “That’s not what we want,” he said.

Hikaru and Tamaki both looked irritated. Haruhi, Kaoru and Honey looked disappointed, Takashi wore no expression and Kyouya looked like an evil demon on a bad day.

“Then what do we do?” Hikaru looked to Kaoru who looked like he had no clue.

Kyouya took out a black book from his bag and started writing something down. “Then, we won’t have anything from here, but you better have instant coffee if we decide to come by again,” he warned.

With those words, the entire group left with disappointed expressions and Shinya was left with the thought that he had lost seven very important customers.

“Well, that’s just too bad,” he said. “I guess we do have everything… besides instant coffee.”

Notes:

This idea came from a drink created by myself and a good friend. It caused us to go all out in weirdness (Search "Princess Yuu-chan" and you'll see the results) and we blamed Shinya. There's not much of a good reason except we suggested he'd messed with our drinks (because there was cola in it) and eventually we came up with the idea about Shinya owning a bar and then some people come by and stuff happens.
There are a lot of other series included so it's a major crossover series. Though, if there's something you are not interested in reading, the stories can be read separately. This is also why the introduction paragraphs are the same in all the stories.
Thanks for reading this weird thing.

Jackie

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